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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters; they all belong to J.K Rowlings and Warner Brothers. Although I wish I did lol.
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A/N: I can't believe all the response I'm getting with this story! It wasn't even like I was planning to continue this; it was just a random idea I came up with one night and just wrote for fun. Just a reminder this is a Harry and Hermione pairing, if you don't like the pairings then don't bother reading it in the first place. Her Diary entries may seem a bit depressing but I promise you it will all be worth it in the end. This chapter will also have a bit of Harry's viewpoint in it in the form of his own thoughts as he views Hermione from a distance. There really isn't much else to be said so on with the story!
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The Diary of Hermione Granger
Chapter 3/?
By: Sapphire Rose (aka Lily Flower)
October 5th
Dear Diary,
I don't know what I've gotten myself into, it's absolute torture! I haven't been able to concentrate on my work during class, I find myself staying up into late hours of the night just trying to get all my work done. Normally I wouldn't have any problems with my assignments but this is a completely different matter. I have always been one to get my work done on the first try but as of recent I haven't been able to. And the reason for this drastic change is because of the incredibly, distracting Harry Potter. Why does he have to so damn cute? I swear my eyes have never left him for a second; they're always on him and nothing else.
As of late I have been trying to hide my true feelings, which is harder then most people think. He's always so kind and caring towards me, always worrying about my well being. My lack of sleep hasn't gone unnoticed by him either and he's approached me about it constantly. I have of course told him time and time again that there is nothing wrong and he shouldn't be worried, but does that stop him? I don't think so, and he's probably told Ron as well, but Ron tends to be too distracted by his own relationship with Lavender. I swear that boy can't keep his hands off the girl for more then two seconds. Is it just me or does everyone seem to be in some form of a relationship? EVEN Neville has a girlfriend! I admit I have been asked on a few dates by acceptable males of the student population but then I think of Harry and I just can't go out with them. I tried to go out with a few of them, to seem as though nothing is wrong but the minute we step out of the castle I'm already bored with my date and wish I was with Harry instead.
But the chance of that happening now is slim to none. He's dating L-I-S-A for the millionth time. Does that stop me from wanting me to be more then just friends with Harry though? Not in the least bit. I'm utterly and completely in love with the one and only Harry Potter, my best friend. But even if I know all this it doesn't stop the pain I feel in my heart every time I see them together. Every time I see them I feel my heart sinking lower into my chest, to be honest I don't think I even feel it there anymore. My heart is practically being ripped out from my chest and yet I still move on. Even if I seem fine on the outside, in reality I'm breaking down inch by inch. Why does love have to hurt so much anyway? I know Harry would never do anything to hurt me but he basically is, and when he asks what's wrong how am I supposed to tell him what's hurting me is him of all people?
So to solve this problem I've made it my top priority to avoid Harry as much as I can, but make an appearance every now and then. Although I miss his company tremendously, he was always great to have around and to have someone listen to anything I would say. I don't understand why he doesn't find me boring, it's not like what I'm saying is that interesting. I've been spending most of my time in the library, using my excuse for studies constantly. Harry knows I don't like to be interrupted when I'm studying for exams, but that doesn't stop him from trying. And to top it all off I have trouble telling him to leave me alone so I can work, but I find myself wanting to actually take him up on his invitations to take a break from my work. I would rather be with Harry more then anything else in the world and yet I still decline. Eventually he would leave me alone but does he realize how much I want him to keep trying, to stay, so that I could be with him even longer? Probably not since to him I may seem completely determined to finish my work and rationalizes my actions in his mind.
All I want to do is just close my eyes and imagine a place where everything was different. A place where Harry and Lisa aren't together, a place where Harry and I can be together forever and nothing can come between us at all. All I want to do is live in my perfect dream world and never have to wake up from that perfect dream. Because I know my reality will never end up that way. When I open my eyes I will face the truth of my reality. Harry is with Lisa and not me and I have to deal with that. How am I going to get through the rest of the year?
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Harry's Thoughts
Once again Hermione was in the library, how can she spend all her time studying and never taking a break? I know something is wrong with her, and she's worrying me to death. But when I ask her what's wrong she always has the same answer, 'nothing.' How am I supposed to help her when she won't tell me what's wrong? She's my best friend, I want to help her more then anything but she won't let me in, why is that? Doesn't she notice that there are people that care about her, that I want to help her? I want to be able to comfort her, and shield her from any harm that could come to her. When she's like this a part of me seems to go with her. Her smile and beautiful face never fails to leave a smile on my face.
Right now I'm sitting in the library, not to work though. I actually came to see what Hermione was up to and since she's always in the library I sat a few tables away from her pretending to work on something or other. Really I'm constantly surveying her movements to try and figure out what's actually going on with her. I've noticed the how she always seems to bit the bottom of her lip when she's concentrating on something or how this one strand of hair always seems to shade those striking brown eyes of hers. And yet I still have no clue as to what's wrong with her.
To top it all off I've been neglecting Lisa. Ever since I began to notice something wrong with Hermione, it's been my goal to figure it out. Lisa noticed I haven't been spending as much time with her as I normally have but I can't spend my time with Lisa when I know something is wrong with Hermione. Lisa may be my girlfriend but Hermione has been my best friend since first year and that friendship means more to me then any girlfriend. I don't know what's going on with my relationship with Lisa either. Don't get me wrong there's nothing wrong between us, but every time I'm with her a part of me starts to imagine someone else in her place. Who that someone else is, I have no idea. Lisa is fun to hang around with, but I don't think she's someone I would date. I think I would rather have her as a friend rather then my girlfriend. But if that's the case who am I really supposed to be with?
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A/N: Well that's chapter three, I know it took forever for me to post it but what do you think. I thought Harry's thoughts would add a little extra something to the story. Give you all someone else's point of view lol. What I want to know though is if you want me to continue with Harry's thoughts as well? Maybe even add a little Ron in there, but most likely not since he's too busy to notice the situation (Lavender can be very distracting lol.) Since college for me has started it may be a while before I'm able to post more so while I have time now I'll try to get out as much as I can. Anyway thanks for all the reviews once again, and I can't wait to see what the response is for this. Don't forget to Read, Rate and Review!!
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