Chapter 2
"Ginny? Why does McGonagall want to see her?" Harry asked confused.
"I don't know. Maybe she just thinks Ginny has a right to be informed. She is your girlfriend after all," Hermione reasoned.
"Yeah, right," Harry said, not sounding very happy. Harry's tone didn't go unnoticed by Hermione. "Is something wrong between Ginny and you?"
No, everything is great, except for the fact that I'm in love with you and not with Ginny.
Harry knew he couldn't tell her that, so he settled for the part of the truth he could say without ruining his friendship with Hermione.
"It's just... all the time since we came back from our search for the Horcruxes, I haven't really been able to talk to Ginny. I think I withdraw from her. I knew Voldemort would come sooner or later and I haven't really been able to think of anything else. I didn't want to scare Ginny by telling her about my worries. We drifted apart and I'm not sure if we know each other at all," Harry confessed.
Hermione tried to comfort Harry. "Maybe you two just need some time to get to know each other better when all this is over."
That won't change the way I feel, Harry thought. "Yeah, maybe."
"Let's go and find Ginny. I really want to know what Professor McGonagall has found out," Hermione suggested.
"Are you sure you're feeling good enough to come with me?" Harry asked concerned. It had barely been two hours ago that Hermione had been tortured after seeing a fellow student die.
"I'm fine, Harry," Hermione stated firmly. "And nobody will stop me from coming with you." Harry knew he had no chance to talk Hermione out of joining him. He knew how she was when she was set on something. SoHarry and Hermione went back to the Gryffindor tower together to look for Ginny.
The portrait of the fat lady had been replaced by a painting of another lady. Harry had no idea who she was. Hermione would probably know it, but he wasn't interested enough in the woman's identity to ask.
Inside the common room the worst damage had been repaired, but it was still evident that a fight had taken place here. The broken windows had been repaired and the damaged curtains and paintings had been removed, but there were still several cuts in the wallpaper where curses had missed their aim and damaged the walls instead. The most evident change was that the usually busy common room was exceptionally calm. Many of the Gryffindor's were still in the Hospital wing and some others were sitting at the bedside of a severely hurt friend or relative. And then there were the ones who wouldn't come back. The prefect Damian North and Colin Creevy. It was really strange not to hear the Creevy brothers greeting Harry enthusiastically like they normally did.
Harry looked around the room until he spotted Ginny and Ron sitting on a couch at the far end of the room. Ginny looked up at Harry in surprise when she spotted him and Hermione. "Harry! Are you...okay?" she asked hesitantly. Her nervous gaze told Harry that Ron had explained what had happened to him.
"If you mean if I still have a part Voldemort's soul inside me, the answer is yes," Harry answered bitterly.
"Damn, Harry, can't you finally stop saying that name?!" Ron exclaimed.
"He is dead, Ron! There's no need to be afraid of his name anymore!" Hermione answered angrily.
"We all thought that he was dead before and he wasn't! And now we know that a part of him still exists!" Ron argued.
"Do you think I'll become the next Dark Lord or what?!"
Harry could feel anger rising inside himself again and after a moment he realized that the walls of the room were shaking again. Some first year students panicked and left the room as quick as they could, the other students just stared at Harry. Ron looked at Harry, too, not knowing what to say and even Ginny looked like she was suddenly scared of him. Harry's anger and frustration grew and suddenly he heard some glasses breaking.
Hermione quickly stepped in front of Harry, placing a hand on his shoulder to sooth him. "Harry, calm down. We know that you are no dark wizard and that nothing will change that. We'll find a way to help you and we'll be there for you."
Harry took some deep, calming breaths and to his relieve the room stopped shaking. Harry looked at Ron. "Do you think that, too?"
Quickly - too quickly for Harry's taste - Ron answered. "Sure. Of course."
When Harry didn't look convinced, Ron added. "It's just ... the whole situation is really scary, you know."
"Oh, you think it's scary that I have the choice to live with a part of the Wizard I hate most inside myself or die? Well, welcome to the club."
Hermione corrected Harry automatically. "That's not completely true, actually. You wouldn't die. If the part of Voldemort's soul inside you will be removed, your own soul would be too weak to stay inside your body, but you would still exist."
"Yes, I would exist! In the way Voldemort existed when I first saw him. I would have to live in other people's bodies like a parasite and drink Unicorn blood to survive. No, thanks. I'd rather be dead."
"Don't give up, Harry! Professor McGonagall said there is a way to help you," Hermione reassured him.
Harry nodded. "Yes, you're right. Actually, that's why we're here," Harry explained to Ron and Ginny. "McGonagall sent me a note that she is waiting for me in her office and she wants me to bring bring Ginny."
"Me?" Ginny asked surprised. "What can I do that would help?"
"I have no idea." Harry admitted. "Would you come with me anyway?" Harry asked.
Ginny hesitated for a moment, quickly looking at Ron and Hermione. She didn't seem to feel comfortable at the prospect of being alone with Harry and she didn't know if her brother and Hermione would join them. Despite her obvious nervousness, Ginny nodded.
"Okay, I'll come with you."
"I'm coming, too. I'm not leaving you alone with this," Hermione stated firmly.
"I'm coming, too," Ron said. "If my friend and my sister are concerned, it's my business, too." Harry smiled at his friends gratefully, feeling slightly less miserable.
A few minutes later the four friends were standing in front of the Gargoyle statue on seventh floor. "Gryffindor Lion" Harry said and the wall behind the statue opened to reveal a moving staircase. Harry had been there before, but his friends seemed impressed by the mechanism. When they arrived at the top of the staircase, Harry knocked on the heavy oak door and immediately received the Head Mistress's permission to enter.
McGonagall looked surprised when she saw that Hermione and Ron were accompanying Harry and Ginny. She didn't object though, but wordlessly conjoured two more visitor chairs. The Head Mistress was sitting behind her desk and Lupin was sitting on a chair to her left. On her right side, Harry saw a middle aged woman whom he had seen sitting at the teachers table during the meals, but had never spoken to. He assumed that she was the Professor for Ancient Runes. For the first time in his school career, Harry looked closely at the woman. She looked friendly with her warm, amber colored eyes, maroon hair and welcoming smile.
"Miss Granger, you already know or Ancient Runes Professor. Mister Potter, Mister and Miss Weasley, meet Professor Bathsheba Babbling." The three students shook hands with the teacher before they sat down. Harry chose a chair between Hermione and Ginny and Ron sat next to his sister.
"Mister Potter, I've talked to Professor Babbling about the third option I've mentioned and she agrees with me that it should work, although we can't be sure, because your situation is special and as far as we know something like that never happened before in Wizarding history. I'll leave it to Professor Babbling to explain the details to you."
The ancient runes teacher looked at Harry. "Mister Lupin explained his theory about what happened and I think he is right. In the moment your spells collided a part of your soul was transferred to Voldemort's body and the other way around. Unfortunately, the part of your soul that was transferred to Voldemort's body died with him, so there is no way to give it back to you. The only reason that you didn't die is that Voldemort's spell hit you first. He was still alive when his killing curse hit you and ironically, that was what saved you. Your soul wouldn't have been able to stay inside your body for longer than a few seconds under normal conditions, but when the spell hit you, you already had a part of Voldemort's soul inside you and that gave your soul the strength to remain connected to your body. There are rituals with which it is possible to remove Voldemort's spirit from your body. The problem is that your soul would be too weak to remain inside your body if we did that. Your soul can't exist on its own anymore. That's why Professor McGonagall asked you to bring Miss Weasley with you. The Professor said that she is your girlfriend. Is that true?"
Harry was confused. He exchanged a quick look with Ginny. "Well, yes. Sort of. Why is this important?"
"Have you ever heard of soul bounding, Mister Potter, Miss Weasley?" Harry and Ginny shook their heads.
Professor Babbling directed her attention to Hermione, who had let out a surprised gasp when her teacher had mentioned soul binding. "I assume you know what soul binding is, Miss Granger."
"I've heard of it, but I didn't find a book that explains how soul binding works in detail, not even in the restricted section. I only know that there are ancient celtic rituals with which two lovers can create an eternal connection between their souls to become even closer than they already are," Hermione explained.
Professor Babbling smiled. "There are books that explain the rituals and their consequences in detail, but we didn't think it would be wise to make them available to a bunch of teenage couples who have been together for a few weeks and are sure that they found the love of their life. Soul bounding is a very incisive step. Two people who are bound together will be connected for all eternity. They are able to feel what their partner feels. When one partner is very upset or in pain, the other feels it, no matter how far apart they are. It's a live changing decision and there is no way to undo it."
"That's very interesting, but what does all this have to do with me?" Harry asked impatiently.
"Well, like I said, your soul is too weak to exist on its own anymore. We can give you the strength you need by binding your soul to the soul of another person in a magical wedding ceremony though. Considering that Miss Weasley is your girlfriend, Professor McGonagall thought that she is the most obvious choice."
"What?!" Harry, Ginny and Ron exclaimed at the same time. Hermione was unnatural silent. She had assumed something like that when Professor Babbling had mentioned soul binding.
"You want me to marry Ginny?" Harry asked.
McGonagall engaged in the conversation for the first time since she had introduced the ancient runes professor. "It's your and Miss Weasley's decision, but I'm afraid soul binding is your only option Mister Potter."
Harry looked from McGonagall to Ginny, unable to say anything. He was in complete shock.
"Are you saying that Harry will die if I don't marry him?" Ginny asked, as shocked as Harry.
"Considering that I don't think Mr. Potter would choose to continue living with a part of Voldemort's soul inside him or to occupy another body... yes, I'm afraid that's true," McGonagall answered gravely.
After that statement, a heavy silence filled the room. Eventually, it was Hermione who spoke first. "Why don't you say anything?!" Hermione asked Ginny furiously. "Why do you even have to think about this? It's Harry's life we're talking about!"
"Excuse me for needing a moment to think about one of the most important decisions of my life!" Ginny shouted back.
Now it was Harry's time to intervene. "You don't have to think about it, Ginny. I would never ask you to do something like that for me," Harry stated firmly.
"Harry, do you realize what you are saying? You're signing your death sentence!" Hermione said desperately.
"I'd rather die than push a woman to marry me, Hermione! You should know that!"
"You make it sound like marrying you was the greatest sacrifice! You'd be a great and loving husband and every woman could consider herself lucky to be your wife. Do you know how many women would be thrilled to marry you?! An hour ago I thought you were one of them, Ginny!" Hermione looked from Harry to Ginny, desperately trying to get them to use the only chance to save Harry's life.
"I've been happy to be Harry's girlfriend, but I haven't thought about marriage yet. I'm not even seventeen!" Ginny exclaimed clearly upset.
"Miss Weasley has a point there. We would need the permission of her parents as she is not of age yet," McGonagall said.
"Mum and Dad would never allow that," Ron stated.
"Of course they would under these circumstances. They love Harry like a son and they wouldn't want to let him die," Hermione argued.
"Let me get this straight: When Harry and Ginny do this soul binding thing, there's really no way back? They could never have a divorce?" Ron asked.
"That's not exactly right. Two people who married in a soul binding ceremony can have a divorce, but that wouldn't undo the effects of the ceremony," McGonagall explained.
Ron looked confused. "But if they can have a divorce later, where's the problem?"
"The problem is that their souls would still be bound, even if they aren't legally married anymore. Whenever one of the partners feels great joy, fear, anger or pain, the other one would feel it too, as long as they both live," McGonagall explained.
Harry and Ginny looked very uncomfortable. Although they had been together for a few months now and had known each other for years, they had never shared anything that came near the closeness McGonagall had just described.
"I can't ask Ginny to do this," Harry repeated. "What if she doesn't like me anymore in a few years and thinks she would be happier with someone else? She would never be able to move on completely. I can't make such a selfish decision." Harry explained.
"You can't make a selfish decision?!" Hermione screamed. "But that's exactly what you're doing right now! You're just deciding to leave everybody who cares about you alone! That is a selfish decision!"
Harry was shocked when he saw tears streaming down his best friend's face."Hermione, please don't cry," Harry pleaded and took Hermione's hand to help her calm down.
"I don't want to lose you, Harry," Hermione sobbed.
Harry looked up to the three adults in the room, searching for help. There had to be some other way to solve his problem. He didn't want to urge Ginny into marrying him. It wouldn't be fair to her to be married to a man who is in love with another woman. But he didn't want to die and he wanted to save Hermione the grief of losing him.
When Harry looked at Professor Babbling, he saw that the teacher was looking at his and Hermione's entangled hands with a thoughtful expression. "You and Miss Granger seem to be very close," she stated eventually.
Harry nodded. "We are. We've been best friends since first year."
"I'm sure you'd do a lot for each other," The professor continued.
"Everything." Harry and Hermione said unison.
Professor Babbling watched them intently.
"What?!" Harry asked confused. Hermione understood what her teacher was thinking though and smiled brightly. "Of course! Why haven't I thought about that sooner?!"
"Sorry, but I'm lost here," Harry said, looking from Hermione to the ancient runes teacher, waiting for an explanation.
"Harry, I want to marry you," Hermione said firmly.
Harry was speechless. It wasn't that he would mind marrying Hermione, far from it, but he was sure that she only saw him as a friend. She couldn't marry him; she was in love with his best friend! Said best friend was the one who broke the silence that had followed Hermione's words.
"You can't be serious! May I remind you that you already have a boyfriend?!" Ron argued angrily.
"I know that, Ron. We've been dating for a few months now and maybe being more than friends will work out for us. We can still try that. Professor McGonagall said we can have a divorce after the ritual has been performed. Yes, Harry and I would still be bound, but like Professor Babbling said, Harry and I are already very close. It wouldn't be a bad thing to share our feelings without words, even if we just stay friends after the ritual," Hermione explained.
"Hermione has a point there," Lupin agreed. "I know her and Harry since their third year and there's always been a special connection between them."
"So you just want to create an eternal band between yourself and Harry and than go back to dating me as if nothing happened?!" Ron asked stunned.
"What do you suggest? That we let Harry die?!" Hermione asked furiously.
"No, of course not!" Ron answered.
"Then this is our only chance, considering that Ginny doesn't want to marry Harry," Hermione reasoned.
"I didn't say that!" Ginny contradicted. "I just said that I need time to think about it."
"Unfortunately, time is a luxury we don't have, Miss Weasley," McGonagall explained. "Voldemort was a very strong wizard with an enormous will to live. His soul will try to overtake Mister Potter's body and I don't know how long he will be able to fight against it. The ritual has to be performed as soon as possible. Professor Babbling said that the ritual has to be performed during new moon and the next new moon happens to be tomorrow."
"Tomorrow?!" Harry and Ginny asked at the same time.
"Unfortunately, yes. I'm afraid you have only time until tomorrow at sunset to make your decision. The next new moon after that is on June, 5th and we can't risk to wait that long," Lupin answered.
"I suggest that you all retire for the night and think about the topic. We can meet here again at 9 am and continue our discussion."
The four students nodded and walked back to the Gryffindor tower. "Do you want to come with us to the Heads' common room to talk some more about this?" Harry asked Ron and Ginny.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but I need some time alone to think about this," Ginny answered.
Ron agreed with his sister. "I'd rather be alone right now, too."
Harry and Hermione just nodded and went up the stairs to the common room they shared. When Harry opened the repaired door, Hermione froze and just looked at the room where the fight had taken place. Harry looked at his friend and immediately understood what was wrong. "Let's get out of here." Harry gently said. He took Hermione's hand and let her to his bedroom, where the friends sat down on the bed.
"It must be hard for you to come back into the room where Damian died and Malfoy tortured you," Harry said emphatically.
Hermione nodded. "I can't get the scene of Malfoy killing Damian out of my head. I wonder if I had been able to save him if I had reacted a little faster.
"Hermione paused for a moment to compose herself, before she started to explain what had happened. "Malfoy and I fought for quite a long time outside of the Head's common room, while Damian was summoning brooms to get the younger students out of the castle. After a while, Malfoy used a blasting curse. I avoided the curse and it hit the door instead. Some splitters from the door hit me and I lost my balance and had to grab the stair rail..."
Hermione paused again, fighting back the tears. "The next thing I saw was that Malfoy was inside the common room and attacked Damian with a killing curse. I ran inside to attack Malfoy, but when I had reached him it was already too late and Damian was dead."
At this point, Hermione wasn't able to keep herself from crying any longer. The tears where streaming downs her face and Harry gently rubbed his friend's back. After a while, Hermione had composed herself enough to finish her story. "I was stunned for a moment and Malfoy took advantage of my moment of weakness and used the Cruciatus curse on me. One moment in which I wasn't alert and that was enough."
When Hermione had finished Harry pulled his friend in a hug. "You couldn't have done anything to save Damian. It just happened too fast. And you shouldn't blame yourself for being stunned for a moment after his death either. I wouldn't have been able to fight right after Cedric's death and after Sirius' died I was completely irrational and tried to follow him through the veil. That's human and nothing you have to be ashamed of."
Hermione looked up at Harry. "How do you always know the right thing to say?"
Harry smiled at Hermione. "That's what friends are for."
For a while they just sat there, wordlessly holding each other. Eventually Harry asked "Are you really sure you want to do this?"
"Yes, Harry, I'm sure. I couldn't bear to lose you and I really don't mind being soul bound with you. Sometimes I feel like I already was," Hermione said.
"Yes, I feel the same way." Harry agreed. He had always felt closer to Hermione than to anybody else and their bond had even become stronger during the Horcrux search.
"Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?" Hermione asked. "I think none of us should be alone after a day like this."
"No, I don't mind at all," Harry answered. He couldn't think of anything he'd rather do then hold Hermione in his arms all night.
Harry and Hermione just took of their shoes and stepped under the covers. It took a long time for them to fall asleep. Harry lay awake for hours thinking about the ritual that would take place tomorrow. He would marry the woman he loved, but it wouldn't be for real. He didn't know if he could bear being bound to Hermione but seeing her with Ron afterwards. Then an upsetting thought crossed his mind. What if Ginny changed her mind and decided that she wanted to marry him? He couldn't imagine being soul bound with Ginny, but how could he explain that he'd rather have an eternal connection with Hermione than with his girlfriend without revealing his true feelings for his best friend? Doing that wasn't an option, he knew that. If Hermione and Ron found out that he was in love with Hermione, he would probably lose them both and he couldn't risk that.