Chapter 3
After a restless sleep, Harry and Hermione woke up soon the next morning and decided to wait for Ron and Ginny in the common room. They didn't have to wait long. It was not yet seven when Ginny entered the common room, looking like she hadn't slept much either.
"Hey," Harry greeted his girlfriend awkwardly.
"Good morning," she replied and gave Harry and Hermione a nod. After an uncomfortable pause, Ginny asked: "Are you still sure you want to do this?"
Harry nodded. "Yes, we're sure. There's nothing else we can do."
"If you haven't changed your mind, of course," Hermione added, giving her friend a chance to change her decision.
"Well, I've thought about it, too, and I think Hermione is right. Harry, I really care for you and I hope that our relationship will work out. But if it doesn't, it would be really awkward to be able to share each other's feelings for the rest of our lives. You, Ron and Hermione have been close for the last seven years though and it's very unlikely that you'll ever have a falling out. It won't be that awkward for you to share each other's feelings. You probably don't have any secrets from each other anyways."
You have no idea. Harry thought but kept silent.
Hermione beamed at her friend. "That's exactly what I said. I'm really glad you're taking this so well."
"So, it's settled then?" Ron asked. He was standing at the foot of the staircase and had heard the end of the conversation.
"Yes, it's settled. Are you okay with this?" Hermione asked her boyfriend worriedly.
"Not really, but I would be a lot less okay with Harry dying," he answered dryly.
Harry sighed in relief. That had gone a lot better than he had expected.
"Okay then. I think we should go and take an early breakfast before Hermione and I go to meet up with McGonagall." They all hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before and Harry realized he was quite hungry. The early hour had the advantage that the Great Hall was nearly empty and Harry could avoid the stares and whispers from the whole school by showing up for breakfast so early.
When they were done eating, the friends killed the remaining time till the meeting by starting to pack their things, because school would be closing for summer early this year. Many of the students and teachers were still injured and some of the rooms in the castle were severely damaged. There was no way that exams could be taken in less than three weeks like originally planned. The train would leave as soon as the less severely injured students (the critical cases had been transferred to St. Mungo) were able to leave the hospital wing. Exams for the younger students had been cancelled for this year and the older students would take their OWLs and NEWTs during summer break.
At nine, Harry and Hermione sat in the Head Mistress's office again, together with McGonagall and Professor Babbling.
"May I take the fact that only you two are here as a sign that you have made up your minds?" McGonagall asked.
Harry nodded. "We've talked about this together and with Ginny and Ron and we have decided that this is the best way."
"Alright, then let me explain the details to you," Professor Babbling said and the students nodded.
"The bonding ritual is a very old celtic ceremony. It's a very powerful white magic ritual that is able to ban all dark spells performed on one of the partners. When the bounding is complete, Voldemort's spirit will leave Mr. Potter's body on its own. One thing is very important: It's possible that Voldemort will know what is going on. I can't tell how much of the outside world he senses while he is in Mr. Potters body. If he notices what's going on, he will try to control you, Mr. Potter. After what I've heard about you, you are a very strong-willed young man and you'll probably be able to resist him if that happens, but we should be careful nevertheless. Therefore, it's very important that he, respectively you, won't have access to a wand. That's why I have to ask both of you to give me your wands."
"Hermione already has mine," Harry replied slightly irritated and Hermione handed over both wands to the Professor.
"Good. Then we can come to the explanation of the actual ritual. The ritual has to be performed outdoors under the New Moon. We'll set everything up next to the lake. You two will have to repeat your vows after me. Afterwards, I'll have to cut your hands with a poniard, so that your blood will get mixed when you take each other's hands. Then I'll say the celtic blessing. You won't feel anything unusual at this moment; the bounding magic will not be activated before the marriage is consummated, which has to happen in the same night."
"Consummated?" Harry asked confused. "What do you mean by that?"
Hermione had turned pale and was muttering to herself "Why haven't I thought about that? A magical marriage isn't official before it's consummated, I should have known that this would be necessary to complete the bounding."
"What are you talking about?" Harry asked worriedly. He had no idea what was going on, but Hermione's facial expression told him it couldn't be good.
"Well... a magical wedding isn't official before the wedding night," Hermione whispered.
"What?!" Harry asked stunned. "You mean we have to ... sleep with each other?"
To Harry's surprise, Hermione looked offended at his reaction. "I know I'm not as pretty as Ginny or Cho, but I didn't think you'd find the thought of sleeping with me so repulsive."
Harry was shocked by Hermione's outburst and quickly thought what he could say to reconcile her. If Hermione only knew how wrong she was! The thought of sleeping with her was fantastic and he was sure that the pictures this thought had created in his head would be the material for many vivid dreams. He just couldn't tell her that, so he decided to stay as close to the truth as he could without revealing his true feelings.
"No! The thought of sleeping with you isn't repulsive to me! You're beautiful, Hermione."
Hermione met her friend's gaze and wished she hadn't charmed Harry's glasses to hide his eyes. She wished she could see his eyes to tell if he was sincere.
Seeing the doubt in Hermione's eyes, Harry added. "You really are, but I could never force myself on you, Hermione. I wouldn't do that to any woman, let alone you! I could never do this to you."
Hermione's features softened. "You wouldn't force me to do anything, Harry. We have to talk again to Ron and Ginny though. Ginny will probably change her mind if we tell her about this."
Harry wasn't at all happy about Hermione's suggestion, but he knew she was right; they couldn't keep that information from their partners. But what would he do if Ginny actually changed her mind? He didn't like the thought of sharing his feelings with a girl he barely knew for the rest of his life.
Harry was brought out of his musings by Professor McGonagall. "I understand that you want to talk to Mr. and Miss Weasley again. Just come by and tell me what you have decided later."
Harry promised to come and see the Head Mistress as soon as they made their decision and accompanied Hermione back to the Gryffindor tower.
They found the Weasley siblings in the common room playing a game of Wizarding chess. "Ron, Ginny, we have to talk to you in private," Harry said without preamble.
Ginny looked worried. "That sounds pretty serious."
"Well, it is. Can we talk to you in the Heads' quarters?" Harry asked. Curious what was going on the Weasleys agreed and followed their friends.
"So, what's going on?" Ron asked impatiently as soon as they had sat down.
Harry looked at Hermione for help. He wasn't keen on explaining the situation to the fiery Redheads. Hermione did look as uncomfortable as Harry was feeling, but she started to speak anyways. "Harry and I got information about the soul binding ceremony that we didn't have before and that makes the whole situation appear in a new light. Maybe it will make you change your decision, Ginny."
Both Weasleys watched Hermione now, Ginny looking confused and Ron impatient.
"Just spill it," Ron demanded.
Hermione glared at her boyfriend, but complied. "We learned today that the soul binding ritual isn't complete before the partner's have consummated the marriage," she answered shakily.
"You want to shag Harry?!" Ron screamed furiously.
"Language, Ron!" Hermione reprimanded Ron. "We are here to discuss the situation with both of you, because I thought Ginny might change her mind now," she explained as calmly as she could.
Ron turned to his sister. "Ginny, you can't want Harry and Hermione to have sex!" he explained furiously.
"No, Ron, I don't want my boyfriend to sleep with your girlfriend! And I certainly don't want Harry to die." Ginny took a deep and calming breath and looked first at Hermione and then at Harry.
"You're right, Hermione, I did change my mind. Harry, I want to marry you."
Harry thought his heart stopped a beat when he heard Ginny's words. Great, that is exactly what you were afraid of. Think, Potter and do it quickly. You have to talk her out of this.
"Are you sure, Ginny? Everything you said in the morning is still true. We don't have a guarantee that our relationship will work and I don't want you to regret your decision if you realize that I might not be the man you want to spend your life with. Let's be honest to ourselves, Ginny. We like each other, but we barely know each other."
"That's not true!" Ginny contradicted immediately.
"It isn't?" Harry asked. "Then tell me Ginny: What is my greatest wish? What is my biggest fear? Or let's start with something simpler: What's my favourite book? What kind of music do I like? Can you answer any of those questions? I'm sorry, Ginny, I really am, but I can't answer even one of them about you."
Ginny looked furious now. "No, Harry, you're right, I can't answer any of your bloody questions, because you refuse to talk to me! Whenever you have a problem you go to Hermione or Ron, but never to me! Why can't you let me in?"
Because I'm in love with another woman. I've been for a long time; I was just too blind to see it. "I don't know, Ginny. I'm really sorry for not treating you like you deserve, but for some reason, I just couldn't talk to you about certain things and I'm not sure if I will be able to in the future."
Tears were streaming down Ginny's face now. "Maybe you're right and it won't work out between us. I don't want to bind my soul to yours forever and then find out that we're not meant to be, but I don't want you to die Harry."
"I won't let that happen," Hermione said firmly. She took a deep breath to prepare herself for what she was going to say and the reactions to it. "Ginny, Harry is right. If you do this and find out you don't want to be together anymore later on, you both will be miserable and will have a hard time finding someone else when you are still connected to each other. We already agreed that it would be less awkward for Harry and me, because we already are close friends. I still think this is the best solution. Yes, I would have to spend a night with Harry, but it's only one night. After that, we can move on with our lives and take our time figuring out with who we really want to be. Ron, I know this will be awkward for all of us, but if we are really meant to be together, we can overcome this."
"You want go and spread your legs for Harry and then come back to me as if nothing happened?! I didn't know you were so cheap," Ron screamed furiously.
"Don't ever talk to Hermione like that again!" Harry hissed angrily and before anybody could realize what was happening, the glass holding Ron's juice exploded and the splitters flew right into Ron's face, leaving dozens of small bleeding cuts.
"Are you insane?!" Ron screamed. "I could have gone blind if any of the pieces had hit my eyes!"
"I didn't do it on purpose," Harry answered, being quite shocked himself. "But you deserve every single one of those cuts for saying that to Hermione," he added angrily.
"You know what?! Go and live happily ever after for my sake, but don't expect me to be there and watch. I'm off to the hospital wing," Ron yelled and left the room.
Ginny looked stunned from Ron to Harry and when Harry met her gaze, he saw outright fear in the girl's eyes. "Are you afraid of me?" Harry asked. Ginny didn't answer the question and that was answer enough.
"I can't blame you after what I just did to your brother. I really didn't do it on purpose though. I can't control what I do in my anger anymore. I'm sorry for scaring you," Harry apologized sincerely. He was still mad at Ron but not at Ginny.
"I'm sorry, Harry, but I have to get out of here. I don't know what you're capable of anymore and that scares me. I'll go check on Ron." Ginny answered and quickly left the room. Harry watched Ginny leave and then he turned his attention back to Hermione, who was fighting back the tears. "Hermione, I'm so sorry. I messed everything up between you and Ron."
Hermione shook her head vigorously. "No, Harry, Ron messed it up, not you." Hermione looked at the door through which Ron had left. "I still hope that he comes back to us. I thought our friendship was strong enough to survive everything. I didn't think anything could ever separate the three of us. Have I really been wrong?" Hermione asked under tears.
Harry wished he could say anything to comfort his friend, but he didn't know what to say to make her feel better. "I don't know," Harry answered honestly, but laid an arm around Hermione to give her at least some comfort. She moved closer to him and let her head rest against his shoulder. After a while Harry asked: "Aren't you afraid at all? You saw what I am capable of when I'm angry and Professor Babbling said Voldemort might try to completely take me over. Aren't you afraid that I'll hurt you?"
"Harry, I could never be afraid of you. I know you are too strong to allow Voldemort to control you. Every time you lost control you were angry and you had good reasons to be. You would have been angry in this situation under normal circumstances, too, although you would have been able to control your emotions. The point is, you still only do what you want to do deep down and I don't think you'd ever want to hurt me."
"Never!" Harry quickly agreed.
Hermione gave him a small smile. "See, I have nothing to worry about."
Harry frowned. "You may not have to be worried about me physically hurting you, but this will still hurt you emotionally. It would be awful for you to have to sleep with a man you don't love."
Hermione's face flushed at the mention of the wedding night, but she still looked up at Harry with a tender expression. "I do love you, Harry. I may not be in love with you, but I love you with all my heart and I know you feel the same for me. Sleeping with you will probably be... awkward, but not awful." Hermione turned even redder. "I mean, you're such a kind and caring man, surely you will be like that in bed, too... It can't become that bad, I think."
Harry blushed, too. He wasn't really comfortable talking about that topic, but he knew they had to discuss this. "You're really sure then?"
Hermione nodded firmly. "Yes Harry, I'm sure."
Harry gently took Hermione's hands in his. "Thanks for being there for me."
Hermione smiled. "I'll always be there for you, Harry."
Harry returned her smile gratefully. He wasn't feeling as nervous and miserable about the situation as he had yesterday. As long as he had Hermione by his side, everything would work out in the end.
"I'll go and talk to McGonagall then, now that all is settled," Harry announced.
"Yes, do that. Shall we say we'll meet at sunset near the lake?" Hermione suggested.
"That's fine with me," Harry agreed.
It wasn't before Harry had left that Hermione completely realized that today was her wedding day. You shouldn't think about it that way. She scolded herself. After all she wasn't really marrying Harry. Well she was, but he wasn't the man she would be spending her life with. She had thought Ron would be that man, but after the way he had acted today she wasn't so sure about that anymore. She was angry with Ron for acting so selfish and immature and for talking about her like she was some cheap slut. He should know that she wasn't like that! Yes, she was going to sleep with Harry, but only because she wanted to save his life.
After their conversation with the Weasleys Hermione was even more convinced that it was the right decision. Harry had been right yesterday when he told her that he and Ginny didn't really know each other and that was a bad basis for soul binding. Hermione wasn't sure if Harry and Ginny would become happy together and she cared too much for both of them to wish them a life in which they couldn't be happy with their true love, because they were still magically bound to each other. She on the other hand already knew Harry as well as she knew herself. She would have been able to answer each of the questions Harry had asked Ginny and she had no doubt that Harry would be able to answer those questions about her. She wondered if that applied to Ron, too. Hermione sighed and decided to stop thinking about Ron for now. When Ron was angry he just needed time to cool off before it was possible to have a reasonably sensible conversation with him. She couldn't do anything to set things straight with him right now.
Hermione decided to get Ron out of her head for now and think about what needed to be done before the ceremony. Planning always calmed her down and gave her a sense of confidence. First, she needed something to wear. It might not really be her wedding, but she didn't want to go in jeans or her school robes nevertheless. Hermione opened her wardrobe to inspect the small collection of dresses she had brought to school. Sighing, she realized that none of the simple summer dresses was anywhere near fitting for a wedding.
Great! Where do I get a dress so fast? Hermione knew that there was a store in Hogsmead that sold dressrobes, but they only made customisations and they would never manage to get a robe ready within a few hours. Hermione was brought out of her musings by a knock on the door. "Hermione, it's Tonks, can I come in?"
Hermione quickly opened the door. "Tonks! How do you know the password for the Gryffindor common room?"
"I was the one who choose it when I replaced the Portrait yesterday." Tonks explained and Hermione smiled. She should have guessed that. Who else would have chosen "Hiccup Sweets" as a password?
"McGonagall told Remus and me what you and Harry have decided," Tonks told her friend. Hermione waited for the Auror to continue, wondering what she thought of their plan. As if she had read her mind, Tonks continued. "I think you're doing the right thing. I really like Ginny, but frankly, I don't think she and Harry have a future together. They don't have anything in common besides their love for Quidditch. I think they would have become very unhappy if they had been soul bound. You and Harry have always been so close; I think the soul binding will only deepen your friendship."
Hermione smiled at her friend, thankful for the reassuring words.
"So, what are you going to wear?" Tonks asked cheerfully.
Hermione's smile faded. "I have no idea. I don't have anything with me and there is no way that the store in Hogsmead will get a dressrobe ready so quick."
Tonks grinned. "Don't worry, we'll find the perfect dress for you. There's a new store in Hogsmead that sells historical dresses. Wouldn't that be perfect for a celtic wedding? They always have some dresses ready; they would only need to make a few changes."
Hermione beamed. "Tonks, that would be great!"
"Excellent. Luna Lovegood is waiting in the entrance hall. She already knew what was going on. Don't ask me where this girl always gets her information. Anyway, we figured you'd want to get a new dress for the wedding and Luna is eager to help us find the perfect one for you," Tonks told Hermione.
Hermione started to feel her friend's enthusiasm infect her. It almost felt like this was really her wedding and she was going dress shopping with her friends like any normal bride would.
An hour later, the three friends stood in the small shop that sold historical garments. Hermione looked around in awe. She usually wasn't a sucker for pretty dresses, but she was really impressed by the beautiful cut velvet, silk and linen gowns.
"How do you like this one?" Tonks asked and pointed to a cream coloured velvet gown.
"Oh, I wouldn't take this one, Hermione," Luna interfered. "Velvet attracts glowfly fairies. You don't want them to settle in your hair and make it glow yellow, do you?" Hermione looked at her friend only mildly confused. She had gotten used to Luna talking about strange creatures all the time.
"No, I don't," Hermione agreed absentminded. She highly doubted that Luna's fairies existed, but wasn't in the mood to argue. She found the velvet gown too pompous anyways. Hermione looked around, not really knowing what she was searching for until she saw it. The gown was quite simple, but very beautifully cut. It was a white floor long gown, with golden borders on neckline and sleeves. A golden belt was wrapped around waist and hips. The sleeves were formed asymmetrical, ending at her wrists on the outside, but reaching down to her knees on the inside.
"I want to try this one on," Hermione announced. A few minutes later she was wearing the dress and smiling at the stunned faces of her friends.
"Hermione, you look so lovely! You will be such a beautiful bride," Luna exclaimed.
"Absolutely stunning. That will knock Harry for a loop," Tonks agreed.
"Hey, you are forgetting that this isn't a real wedding," Hermione protested, but couldn't help to be excited when she imagined Harry's reaction.
Tonks grinned. "That won't stop Harry from admiring you. Now all we need is the right underwear."
"Tonks!" Hermione exclaimed shocked.
"She's right," Luna stated dreamily. "You're going to sleep with Harry, so you should have underwear that gets him in the right mood."
When the three women returned to the castle after buying a set of lingerie that made Hermione blush at the mere thought of it, Hermione went to the Prefects bathroom to have a nice long bath before she met with her friends again to let them help with her hair and make-up.
At the same time, Harry was getting ready, too. Like Hermione, Harry didn't have fitting dressrobes and he wasn't keen on going shopping while everybody was staring at him. After he had just defeated Voldemort, everybody in Hogsmead would want to speak with him and he wasn't in the mood for that. He would also have a hard time explaining why he was wearing sunglasses in a store. Therefore, Harry was simply clad in black slacks, a white shirt and a black jacket. That would have to do. Harry's nervousness had returned full force during the last hours and he wondered if they had really made the right decision. He was going to marry Hermione! This was just insane.
Harry was just fighting his unruly hair with limited success, when he heard a knock on the door. "It's Remus, can I come in?"
Harry opened the door and let his father's friend in.
"Hallo, Harry. I'm here to see how you are doing. How are you feeling?" Lupin asked.
Harry considered just saying he was fine, but when he saw the genuine concern in the older man's face, he decided to be honest. "I'm incredibly nervous. In a few hours I will be connected to Hermione forever and I have no idea how this will affect our lives and our friendship, not to mention how what will happen after the wedding will affect our relationship," Harry said blushing slightly.
"I see. You are worried because of the wedding night. You're right; this will affect your relationship with Hermione, the soul binding as well as the wedding night. It will be awkward at first, but the way I know you two; this will only strengthen your friendship in the long run," Lupin tried to reassure Harry.
"It's just that friends usually don't sleep with each other," Harry murmured.
Remus watched Harry intently. "I see the thought of sleeping with Hermione unsettles you a lot. Tell me, Harry, do you find her attractive?" Remus asked.
"I think she's incredibly beautiful," Harry admitted softly.
Lupin studied the face of his best friend's son for a moment. "Harry, are you in love with Hermione?"
Harry slowly nodded. "She doesn't love me though, I know that. Hermione only sees me as a friend. I think I can live with that and hide my feelings from Hermione. Just having her in my life is enough for me. I'm just not sure if it will still be enough after I had one night with her," Harry admitted.
"Why are you so sure that Hermione only sees you as a friend?" Lupin asked calmly.
"Well, she never showed any feelings for me that went beyond friendship. She has always been interested in Ron," Harry stated matter of factly.
"And yet she decided to bind her soul to yours, even if it could mean losing Ron. Harry, I've known you and Hermione for years and I've seen how she looks at you. Her feelings for you go very deep and there were more than a few occasions when I wondered if her feelings go beyond friendship. Maybe Hermione just hasn't realized that she loves you in a more than friendly way."
Harry looked completely stunned. "You really think Hermione might love me?"
Lupin nodded. "I think that's very well possible. You two should take some time to talk tomorrow."
"Yes, we really should," Harry agreed. He felt even more nervous and uncertain than before his talk with Remus, but he felt definitely less depressed. Maybe Lupin was really right and there was a possibility that Hermione did love him back.