Chapter 8
Harry woke up early the next morning, although he hadn't slept much. He knew he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, so he got up, quickly washed and got dressed, before he went downstairs. He met Kreacher, who was holding a pile of freshly washed clothes, on his way to the kitchen.
"Good morning, Master. Do you want Kreacher to make breakfast for you and your guests?" the elf asked politely. Harry was still amazed how much Kreacher had changed during the last year.
"Good morning, Kreacher. No, thanks. Everybody else is still asleep and I'm not hungry yet. I'll just make myself a cup of tea. What do you have there?" Harry asked, when he noticed something glittering on the pile of clothes.
"It's a ring, Master Harry. It fell out of Miss Hermione's pocket and Kreacher was going to give it back to her," Kreacher answered.
Harry took a closer look at the ring and recognized it as Hermione's wedding band. She had probably taken it off before she talked to her parents.
"Don't bother, Kreacher," Harry said a little too rash, but Kreacher didn't seem to notice. "I'll give it back to her," Harry offered and took the ring from Kreacher.
Harry wondered if he had made the right decision. He hated keeping secrets from Hermione and he knew she would get mad when she remembered everything. If she remembered. Harry wondered what he should do if Hermione never remembered. Would he tell her the truth eventually? Harry knew she deserved to know the truth. It was her life and her memories and it wasn't right of him to take that away from her. But what if she never remembered and he and Hermione would build a friendship again? Only a friendship. How would she react if he told her that they had been more than friends in the past? Wouldn't that make everything worse for her?
Harry decided that he would at least wait until the NEWTS were over before he considered telling Hermione everything. The memory loss and the exams would be more than enough stress for her.
Two hours later Harry, Ron and the Grangers were having breakfast when they heard a knock on the door.
"That's probably someone from the order," Harry said and opened the door.
"Hello, Harry. I see you have put an anti apparition spell on the house," Lupin noticed as soon as he and Tonks entered. "That's a good idea, you can't be too careful."
"Does this mean there is a reason to worry? Have the death eaters told you anything?" Harry asked, leading his visitors to the kitchen.
"We gave them Veritaserum, so they were very talkative," Tonks explained. "They know of five more death eaters who didn't die at the Battle of Hogwarts. They don't know exactly where they are now, but gave us the addresses of all hiding places they know of. I'm optimistic that we will find them soon."
Harry knew Tonks intended to make this sound like good news, but Harry wasn't as optimistic. "That means that there are five more people out there who might want to take revenge."
Lupin seemed pleased that Harry wasn't taking the news lightly. "That's what I said. We will protect everybody who might be in danger. I already spoke to the teachers; they will stay at the school during summer holiday. I think only the students who are close to you and might know where you live are in danger. The Weasleys are safe. They are five, six if Ron moves back in. Mr. Weasley can apparate to work and the others will go in groups if they have to leave the house. I already wrote to Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom and suggested that they spend the summer in one of or save houses together with Luna's father and Neville's grandmother."
"That sounds good. What about you two and Kingsley?" Harry asked. "Where will you stay at night?"
"We haven't made a plan yet, but I think the three of us should stay together. We already brought Teddy to my parents," Tonks explained.
"Why don't you stay here?" Harry offered. "There's enough room."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Tonks asked and looked from Harry to Ron and the Grangers.
"Of course not," Harry reassured her. "You're always welcome. I like Kingsley and I've always considered you two family."
"It would be nice to have somebody here whom I actually remember, Professor," Hermione told Lupin.
"Call me Remus, Hermione," Lupin told her with a smile. "I haven't been your professor for a while."
"Alright, prof...., Remus."
"It'll be like home," Ron joked. "A house with less than less than six occupants is nearly empty to me."
"Mr. and Mrs, Granger, is this alright with you too?" Lupin asked politely.
"Of course, it's nice to get to know some of Hermione's friends," Mrs. Granger answered.
Her husband nodded. "It's very nice of Harry to let us stay here, of course we don't mind more guests. But does this mean we can't leave the house until the death eaters are captured? We wanted to re-open our practice soon, we've already lost a year."
"I'm sure we'll find a solution for that problem," Lupin answered. "We could connect your practice to the floo network and one of us can accompany you to work."
A few minutes later Lupin and Tonks left to finish their reports and tell Kingsley about the new living arrangements. Kingsley showed up two hours later to bring his bag and accompany the Grangers to their practice, where they could arrange everything for the re-opening.
"Is your practice in your house?" Harry asked the Grangers before they left.
"Yes, why?" Mrs. Granger asked surprised.
"I just thought you could bring Hermione's school books if you are at the house anyways," Harry answered and Hermione looked surprised.
"School books? But haven't we graduated already? Which date is it?"Hermione asked anxiously.
Harry looked as anxious as Hermione as he answered her question. "It's May,11th. We would have had our exams in three weeks, but the OWLs and NEWTs were delayed because of the battle."
"Delayed? When is the new date?" Hermione asked.
Harry hesitated and Hermione gave him a death glare. "Harry Potter, when are the NEWTs?!" Hermione asked in a dangerously low voice.
"July, 14th," Harry answered reluctantly, mentally preparing himself for Hermione's outburst.
"I'll go and get some tea," Ron said and fled the room as if Aragog was after him.
"July, 14th?!" Hermione asked appalled. "That's in eight weeks, Harry! Eight weeks! How can I learn everything I need for the NEWTs in only eight weeks?!"
"Hermione, calm down. You already know more than most people know when they actually take the NEWTs. You did a lot of research on spells and potions before we left to search for the Horcruxes, you probably know many things which aren't even exam relevant in Defence against Dark Arts, Charms and Potions. You'll do great, as always," Harry reassured her.
"I might know things that aren't exam relevant, but what about the things that are exam relevant but were not relevant for the Horcrux search or the fight? And what about History of Magic, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, Astronomy, Arithmancy and Ancient Runes? I'll fail!" Hermione panicked.
"Hermione, it's more likely that Draco Malfoy declares his undying love for Ginny Weasley than that you fail in any class. You're the brightest girl I've ever known and I'm sure you'll graduate as the best of our class," Harry said.
"But not with only eight weeks to study! I can't wait until my parents bring my books, I have to start learning now!" Hermione said frantically. "And who is Draco Malfoy?"
Harry smiled. "You can borrow my books, we have many classes together. And Draco Malfoy is the biggest ass from school. He hates the Weasleys nearly as much as he hates me."
Hermione frowned. "Your books? Don't you want to study?" Hermione asked disapprovingly.
"I think I can wait until tomorrow," Harry answered. When he saw Hermione's face he quickly added. "Or I can start with a different subject."
Harry quickly went and got all his school books while Hermione went to the kitchen to find Ron. When Harry came back with the books, he heard the voices of his two best friends.
"Hermione, we still have two whole months before the exams. I know you don't remember that, but we've just won the war against You Know Who. I think I've earned a few days of rest before I start learning for the damned NEWTs."
"You can rest when the NEWTs are over! Ron, don't you realize that your whole future depends on the results of the 'damned NEWTs'?!"
Harry sighed. He knew he would hear this kind of discussion every day for the following two months.
He was right. The following days passed in a dull routine of learning and trying to help Hermione remember. Harry wasn't surprised that Hermione approached both tasks in a very similar matter. She had made repetition plans for the NEWTs and had set fixed study times. She learned every day from 9 am to 1 pm, took a half hour break to eat and continued learning till 8 pm. Harry would rather spend the time trying to help Hermione remember her past, but Hermione argued that it wouldn't help her if she remembered her past but destroyed her future by neglecting her studies and getting bad grades.
At 8 pm, when Hermione was done studying, she sat together with Ron and Harry, watched old pictures and listened to their stories about their life together. Hermione asked them to be as detailed as possible when they talked about their past experience and she took notes while she listened to them.
"We drugged school mates and stole potion ingredients from a professor?" Hermione asked, seriously shocked. Harry and Ron laughed.
"I guess we had a bad influence on you," Ron said.
"Nothing we told you sounds familiar?" Harry asked disappointed.
Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise," Harry said gently. "It's not your fault. Maybe we're just trying it the wrong way."
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
"When we just tell you about our past it must sound like a story you read in a book, nothing you would associate with yourself. Maybe we need something more visual. You remembered something when we were at Hogwarts, when you saw the scene of the Battle, right?" Harry asked.
"Yes, I mean I think I did. I only saw some pictures, like a scene in fast motion," Hermione explained.
A scene in fast motion. A scene. An idea occurred to Harry. Why hadn't he thought about that sooner? Maybe Hermione would remember something when she saw everything they told her in her Pensieve necklace. But what if she saw his memories about the soul bounding?
"Harry, are you alright? You seemed hopeful for a moment, but now you look worried," Hermione observed.
She's getting better at discriminating my feelings from hers. Thank god our logical Hermione thinks she's just reading my facial expression, Harry thought.
"I just had an idea. Hermione, where did you put the necklace you wore when we came here?" Harry asked.
"It's in my bedside drawer. Why?" Hermione asked, clearly confused.
"It's not just a necklace but a charmed Pensieve. I gave it to you as a present. The necklace contains memories of our friendship," Harry explained.
Hermione's eyes widened. "Really?! Oh, Harry, I had no idea. I would have never taken it off, if I had known what it was. It's such a special gift. Why haven't you told me about the necklace sooner?"
"I completely forgot," Harry answered honestly. "There was so much on my mind and the idea that seeing all your memories would help you remember just came to me."
"That's a great idea! I'll go and get it," Hermione offered.
"I can do that," Harry offered quickly and for a moment he thought that Hermione gave him a suspicious look.
"Don't bother, I can do that," Hermione offered and went to get the necklace.
Harry panicked for a moment when Hermione left and quickly thought of a way to get the necklace in his hands without being watched by Hermione. He just needed a minute to remove the newest memories.
"Ron, I need your help! When Hermione comes back, I need you to distract her for a moment. I need to remove the memories of our conversations about the soul bounding before Hermione gets a chance to experiment with the necklace on her own," Harry pleaded.
"No way, mate. It was your idea not to tell Hermione anything about the soul bounding. I don't want to lie to her," Ron refused.
"I don't like lying to Hermione either, but I think she should at least have a chance to get to know me a little before she finds out that we are married. Can you imagine what a shock it would be for Hermione if she found that out now? She has enough to deal with. I will tell Hermione the truth, Ron, but not now. Let's give her time to rebuild her friendship with us and to prepare for the NEWTs in peace, before I tell her," Harry asked.
The discussion between the friends was interrupted by Hermione's return. Harry gave Ron one last pleading look before he returned his attention to Hermione.
"Hermione, could I ask you a quick question about Potions before we begin? Mandrake Draught will probably come in the NEWTs and I never get it right," Ron said.
"Oh, sure," Hermione said, after a moment of hesitation. Her eagerness to see the memories in the Pensieve seemed to be fighting with the approval of Ron's new studiousness. "I'll go and get my potions book," Hermione said and left the room, leaving the necklace on the table.
"Thanks," Harry said to Ron and quickly removed all his memories of the final battle and the aftermath from the Pensieve.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Ron said.
Harry sighed. "I hope so, too."
Twenty minutes later - after Hermione had given Ron a detailed description of how to make a perfect Mandrake Draught - the three friends were sitting together on the couch and Hermione was holding her necklace.
"I think it works better if I show you the memories, since you don't know what you're looking for. I think you have to know what you are searching for to find a specific memory in a Pensieve," Harry said and Hermione nodded.
"What would you like to see first?" Harry asked.
"I think we should start with the beginning. Can you show me our first meeting?" Hermione asked.
Harry searched for the particular memory and a moment later the three friends watched the younger versions of themselves talking on their first train ride to Hogwarts.
"I've been a terribly Know-it-all. It didn't seem like you two liked me much," Hermione noticed and Harry could feel regret and sadness from her.
"You've never been terrible, Hermione. You only wanted to keep us out of trouble. It just took us some time to figure that out. Do you want to see how we became friends?" Harry asked, trying to cheer Hermione up.
Hermione nodded and gave Harry a thankful smile.
"You two fought a Troll to save me when you were eleven?!" Hermione asked. She seemed to be unsure if she should be impressed or angry.
"We couldn't leave you alone and we weren't sure if there was enough time to get a teacher," Harry explained, shrugging his shoulders, as if saving Hermione was the most natural thing in the world.
"Why was I crying?" Hermione asked and Ron suddenly looked very sheepish.
"That was my fault. I acted like a real jerk towards you. I've never really apologized for that, but I'm really sorry," Ron said.
"It's alright," Hermione reassured him. "I don't know what you did or said, but it doesn't matter anymore. We're friends now, right?"
Ron nodded thankfully.
"What would you like to see next?" Harry asked.
"I don't know. Just show me some memories of which you think they are important," Hermione said.
Harry thought for a moment and then he began showing Hermione memories. He showed her how she had helped him getting to the philosophers stone in first year and he showed her how she had hugged him and told him that all that matters are friendship and courage. He showed her how she had helped him rescue Sirius and Buckbeak in third year and how she had helped him to train for the Triwizard Tournament. When he got to the point where she wished him luck before he went into the labyrinth, Hermione gasped.
"Did you remember something?" Harry asked eagerly and Hermione nodded.
"I remember you coming back with a Portkey. You brought the body of one of the other champions with you. You were hurt and you were crying." When Hermione said the last sentence she was close to tears herself. "I wanted to get to you so badly, but someone took you away before I got the chance."
Harry nodded eagerly, despite the sad memory. "Yes, that's right. The cup was a Portkey that lead to a place where Voldemort was waiting for me. Cedric Diggory and I reached the cup at the same time, so we decided to take it together." Harry swallowed and looked to the ground at that point. "Voldemort let his servant kill Cedric as soon as we arrived there. He casually asked him to kill Cedric as if he were waste. Then Voldemort let his servant tie me up and take my blood. He needed it for the spell that brought him back. After that, Voldemort untied me and challenged me to a duel to show his followers that I'm no threat to him. It was only luck that helped me escape him. When I came back with Cedric's body, a death eater who had transformed into one of our teachers with Polyjuice potion took me away to end what his master hadn't managed. Dumbledore came just in time to save me," Harry explained. It was hard for him to relive the memory, but he wanted to tell Hermione the rest of the story, hoping it would stir another memory.
Hermione suddenly hugged Harry tightly. "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry. That must have been terrible for you."
Harry returned the hug and allowed himself to enjoy Hermione's closeness for a moment, but he soon noticed that wasn't his best idea. The hug reminded him of another time he had held Hermione in his arms and Harry could feel his body react to the memory. He quickly ended the hug before Hermione realized the change in his mood.
"Yes, it was hard, but you and the Weasley's helped me a lot. You stood in the hospital wing with me nearly the whole night," Harry said.
"I wish I could have done more," Hermione replied sadly.
"You did more than enough for me in all those years. More than I can ever give you back," Harry answered, feeling incredibly guilty for everything Hermione had been through because of him.
"You don't have to give me anything back," Hermione answered and gently squeezed Harry's hand. "I'm sure I've done all this because you are my friend and because I wanted to. I just wished I would remember our friendship. You care so much about me and do everything to make me feel better. You risked your life for me, probably more often than the two times I know about and you gave me such a wonderful, special gift. Our friendship must be really special. It must be so terribly for you that I don't remember you."
"The most important thing is that you are alive. It would have been unbearable to lose you. I can deal with everything else and I know you can, too, because you are the strongest person I know. You already remembered something twice, that's a good start. We can deal with this as long as we have each other," Harry reassured Hermione.
"It looks like you don't need me anymore, so I'll just go to bed now," said Ron, sounding a little sullen.
Harry and Hermione blushed when they heard their friend's voice. They had completely forgotten that Ron was still there.
"I think I'll go to bed, too," Hermione said, quickly letting go of Harry's hand.
"Yes, it's been a long day and you should really get some rest," Harry agreed hastily, trying to sound normal.
"You should go to bed, too. It's getting late," Hermione said.
Harry smiled at Hermione's concern. "I will go to bed soon, I promise. Good night, Hermione. Good night, Ron."
Harry had been sitting in the living room for a few minutes when he heard someone enter the room. He looked up and saw Lupin and Tonks coming towards him.
"Do you mind if we join you?" Lupin asked. It didn't go unnoticed by Harry that Lupin looked even more serious than usual and even the usually cheerful Tonks looked like something bothered her.
"No, of course not. Is there a problem? Can't you find the other Death Eaters?" Harry asked worried.
"No, that's not the problem. We are actually on a trace at the moment and I'm optimistic that we will be able to find and arrest them soon," Lupin answered.
"What's the problem then? I know something is bothering you," Harry said.
"I accidently overheard your conversation with Ron this evening and I think he is right," Tonks said, not bothering with beating about the bush. "Hermione is no child that needs to be protected. She deserves to know the truth."
Harry sighed. "If you overheard our conversation, you know that I plan to tell Hermione the truth eventually. I just don't want her to have an additional burden right now. I'll tell her when the NEWTs are over and she had time to get to know me again."
"The longer you wait the more difficult it will be to tell her the truth, Harry," Lupin argued. "The longer you wait with telling her the truth, the angrier she will be at you."
"Maybe you're right, but Hermione will probably be angry anyways because I didn't tell her right away. It won't make much of a difference if I waited a few days or two months. You know how important the NEWTs are to Hermione. It is difficult enough for her to concentrate on learning in this situation. I don't want to add additional stress and maybe be responsible for Hermione getting Es instead of Os." Harry said, only half-joking. He knew and E in the NEWTs would be a disaster for Hermione and although he didn't think like that he didn't want Hermione to be disappointed with her results. "Will you tell Hermione, if I don't?" Harry asked Lupin and Tonks.
"No, but I think you should," Lupin answered very seriously.
"I won't tell Hermione, but if she suspects anything and asks me I will not lie to her," Tonks stated.
Harry thanked his friends and went to his room, claiming to be tired. Although that was true, Harry was sure he wouldn't be able to sleep. He lay awake for a long time, wondering if his friends' were right and he was making a mistake.
The next weeks went by quite uneventful, despite the fact that Lupin, Tonks and Kingsley managed to find the remaining death eaters and sent them to Azkaban. With this danger out of the way, the three of them moved out. Tonks and Lupin were eager to see their son again and Kingsley just didn't see a reason to stay at Grimmauld place any longer. After the three Aurors had moved out, the Grangers decided to return to their house, too. They claimed that they didn't like being apparated to work, but Harry assumed that was only part of the reason for their move. The Grangers hadn't seen their daughter in a time of exam preparation for seven years and they didn't know how to deal with what Ron called "Hermione's pre NEWT craziness".
Hermione had indeed been difficult lately, but Harry couldn't blame her for that considering everything she had to deal with. It frustrated Hermione that she didn't make much progress remembering her past. She had had a few more memories watching the scenes Harry and Ron showed her, but she only remembered short scenes.
She wasn't satisfied with the progress in her NEWT studies either. Harry and Ron always told her that she already knew more than nearly everybody else who had ever taken the NEWT exams, but Hermione was never satisfied.
"I'm never going to get this right!" Hermione exclaimed frustrated, looking at the pillow she had just transformed into a comfortable looking couch.
"What the hell is wrong with the couch?!" Ron, who still hadn't managed more than a blanket, asked irritated.
"I wanted a burgundy colour, but the couch is scarlet!" Hermione nearly screamed.
"What's the difference? Red is red!" Ron answered equally shrill.
"Stop it, you two," Harry asked, trying very hard not to raise his voice. Hermione was moody enough and he didn't want to irritate her further.
"I didn't do anything!" Ron justified himself. "Talk to Hermione, she has gone nuts! Seriously, she's completely unbearable lately."
"Ron, right now you're not very agreeable either. Why don't you take some time to cool off and relax? Go flying or something," Harry suggested.
Ron gave Hermione another angry look, but decided to act on Harry's advice and leave before Hermione could hex him.
"Am I really unbearable?" Hermione asked Harry when Ron had left. Harry could tell she was close to tears.
"No, of course not," Harry said and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You're a wonderful person, don't ever doubt that. You're just stressed, that's all. You should take some time to rest. The couch looks great, but if you want to improve the colour, you'll probably do better after a break."
"I can't take a break, Harry! The NEWTs are next month!" Hermione argued.
"Hermione, if you continue like that you will have no strength left for the actual exams," Harry said worriedly. "I'm worried about you. You're constantly on the verge of a breakdown and you're on the best way to ruin your health. You look so pale lately."
"Maybe you're right." Hermione admitted. "I haven't been feeling well lately. I am always tired and sometimes I feel dizzy."
Hermione's admittance that she wasn't feeling well only increased Harry's concern. "That's what I mean. You learn the whole day and spend the evenings trying to get your memories back. And when I go to bed, I still see light in your room, so I can only assume that you continue learning after our session with the Pensieve. You need to take better care of yourself. Why don't you take a nap and I'll call you when dinner is ready. You can continue your work after we've eaten."
Hermione looked like she wanted to argue with Harry, but when she saw the worry in Harry's eyes, she nodded.
"Alright, but I really have to continue practicing that spell after dinner."
"Okay," Harry agreed, relieved that Hermione listened to him.
"What's for dinner anyways?" Hermione asked.
"I have no idea. Kreacher has probably planned something. Why, do you want something special?" Harry asked.
Hermione shrugged. "I don't care as long as we have ice-cream for dessert. Oh, and do know if there's any Muggle store in the neighbourhood? I would like to have M&Ms to put them over the ice-cream."
Harry looked stunned. "Who are you and what have you done to Hermione Granger? Usually, you barely eat sweets at all."
Hermione blushed. "I usually don't, but I really fancy ice-cream with M&Ms today. I don't have to have them if that's a problem," Hermione quickly added.
"No, it's not a problem at all. Just go and take your nap and I'll get you M&Ms in the meantime," Harry promised.
Hermione beamed. "Thanks, Harry, you are really great."