Unofficial Portkey Archive

Author's Note: Thanks as always to those of you who stop in and review . I believe that for many of you, this is the chapter that you've been waiting for and I hope it was worth the wait! As a side note, this story isn't even halfway over yet, so there is still a lot of crazy shit that's going to go down… stay tuned!

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CHAPTER 12: Forever

We need to make him forget you. Draco's words rang in Hermione's ears, clouding her thoughts.

"It won't be enough to use a temporary memory charm and restore his memory later. A memory charm like that doesn't remove the memory- it just hides it from the individual's consciousness until it can be later resurfaced by an incantation."

"I know about memory charms" Hermione barked, her voice dry and scratchy in her throat. She remembered watching as her parents forgot who she was and blissfully left for a life in Australia. She remembered that painful feeling of realizing that they really were better off, safer without her. The only consolation had been that she could later restore their memories. This time, there would be no restoring Harry's memories of her. He'll forget meeting me on the Hogwarts Express, saving me from the troll, solving the mystery of the Sorcerer's Stone, traveling through time together, saving Sirius, laughing together, fighting together, facing death together. He'll forget the times I saved him, the times I hugged him, the times I kissed his cheek, his brow, his messy black hair.

"There has to be another way" Hermione said, and her voice was so desperate that it caught Draco off guard. He had known Granger to be many things- bossy, a know-it-all, a top notch student, a meddling Gryffindor, a war hero… but never had he seen her look lost like this. No I saw it once before. When Belletrix was torturing her. Yet somehow, this is worse.

Instead of feeling pity for her, he oddly felt pity for himself, and that was most troubling. Nobody will ever love you like this. Nobody will ever be desperate for you in this way, even if you are on your last breath. The voice in his mind sounded strangely like that of his father reprimanding him.

"We'll find another way" Ginny was promising Hermione, wrapping her arm around the older girl as though she could somehow ward off heartbreak. "There's always another way in magic. Isn't that right Malfoy?"

Ginny wasn't sure why she asked Malfoy, the bitter, loveless boy that he was. But to her great surprise, in a soft tone he said, "yes".

*******************************

Luna opened her eyes and instantly regretted it as the pain in her head was excruciating. As she pressed her eyelids closed once more she heard a kind, grandmotherly voice instruct her to open her mouth. A moment later a sour liquid was being poured down her throat and when she opened her eyes again the pain was gone.

Standing on one side of the hospital bed was an elderly woman dressed in nurses' garb and on the other side was Ronald Weasley, who she suddenly realized was holding her hand. He abruptly let go as she looked at him and he gave her a sheepish grin. "Glad to see you're awake."

"You'll need to take another hour to rest up" the nurse instructed. "Then you should be able to leave."

Luna thanked her, her voice a bit thick still from the potion. Once the nurse had walked away she asked Ron what had happened and his smile vanished instantly. He told her about the explosion and how she had suffered a concussion so he had carried her from the building only to find that Ville Cache was being burned to the ground. He had nearly splinched both of them trying to get them to a magical hospital located outside of Paris.

"So Damon's attacked then?" Luna asked, closing her eyes again, this time not from pain but from fatigue. "I was hoping there could be some peaceful resolution."

"Well, you heard what that wing bat Brigitte Mouzon said. They believe that they're going to improve the magic world, and it's clear that they believe that to their very core. If they have to shed some blood to make it happen, they're going to. And since we're not simply going to hand our lives over to them, I guess war is inevitable."

"I suppose there's almost some solace in just accepting that" Luna sighed. It was the uncertainty before violence that gave her true anxiety. Once war announced itself there was nothing to do but "keep calm and carry on" as the expression went. She turned her head and looked out the window to see beautiful gardens outside the building. "It's pretty here. I've never been outside of Paris."

"I wish we here under better circumstances" Ron agreed, and he blushed at the almost romantic connotation of his words. Luna found his bashfulness charming. She knew that he had a reputation as being a bit of a player since the war had ended, and she wondered what about her made him shy.

"Is there any word from Britain? They aren't under attack too are they?"

"No, I talked to Mum and all is quiet there, and at all the other magical communities around the world. The attack has shocked everyone of course- we're the only ones who know who's behind it. We'll have to fill the Minister in fully when we return, and I'll expect he'll want to let the other political agencies know what's happening."

"So they only attacked Ville Cache… but why? Was it because we were asking questions? Did we bring death and destruction to those people?" Luna suddenly felt tears bite at her eyes as she realized that their actions could have added up to such terror.

"I think, in a way yes…" Ron admitted. "But we didn't do anything to invoke such cruelty. We can't blame ourselves- all we did was seek answers and they responded with death. Luna- it's not our fault."

She sniffled, trying to keep the tears from falling and she felt Ron take her hand in his once more so she opened and eyes again and looked into his blue eyes and saw a shocking amount of sincerity there. She felt almost as though he was looking inside of her; nobody had ever looked at her that way and it shook her.

"At least now we know more about the enemy. The more we know, the better we can strategize. I've learned a few things from Harry and Hermione about stuff like this, but I can't do it without you. We'll need to convince those in power to take this seriously, but we'll need to do so with caution. Your past with a Quibbler makes you much better suited to this task than I am alone… can I count on you?"

"Always Ronald."

*********************************

Due to the fact that the three of them were somehow unable to accept the solution that Harry should live in a world where he never knew Hermione, they committed their focus back to the library, as though books would hold some answer they had missed. As though books could give answers to matters of the heart.

Malfoy was right were the three words that kept echoing in Hermione's mind. The only way to stop Riddle from taking over Harry's mind is to erase Harry's memory of me… or to kill him. Both solutions sent an icy sensation over her body and made reading the text in front of her nearly impossible. While it should be preferable that Harry live, even without knowing who she was, a selfish part of her was certain that she herself could not live in a world where only she had all those memories of what had transpired between them- the good and bad alike. I could show him afterwards- I could use the pensieve. And then maybe he could fall in love with me again, and then maybe we could try to be happy… together.

But she knew that no pensieve would ever bring back the sensations of those moments- the feeling of one's heart pounding, the sensation of relief when they were near each other, the taste of splitting a chocolate frog by the lake while puzzling out a mystery. Those were the sorts of feelings he would never regain- and could he even be in love with her without those memories?

Does it matter if he's in love with me? He'll be alive, he'll be cured. I've only just now accepted that there's something strong between us. I probably never would have accepted it if this wasn't happening. I would have lived my whole life not acknowledging my deeply buried feelings and I probably would have married, even had children with a man who I loved- just not the way I love Harry.

I love Harry. I love Harry. I love Harry. The words echoed through her head and suddenly she slammed the book closed with much agitation, causing both Draco and Ginny to look up at her suddenly. She turned from the room, somehow feeling that she knew what to do but not knowing what that meant exactly. She just let her feet lead her.

Draco rose to follow her, and Ginny grabbed his wrist tightly, but not cruelly, pulling him back down in the seat. The sudden personal contact gave Draco a strange feeling. He realized he couldn't recall the last time someone had touched him with the slightest bit of kindness in their gesture. Her hand lingered for a moment and he missed it when she withdrew it.

"I think we should give her a moment" Ginny explained. "She always figures something out."

"I bet that drove you crazy when you and Potter were together" Draco snidely commented, his reflex for being cruel kicking in.

Ginny didn't look offended though, simply responding with a resigned smile. "Hermione is my best friend really. I can't hate her for being brilliant, in fact I am proud to know her. But did I feel envious of the way Harry adored her? Of course… who wouldn't want to be felt about that way?"

***********************

Harry could no longer hear Tom Riddle speak. He had managed to block him out and had entered a weirdly silent world. Either it was through extreme self control or it was because he was losing consciousness. Draco has given him some potions for his broken ribs but all they had really done was numb the pain and speed up the healing a bit. He was having trouble breathing again and the cut under his eye from his and Draco's standoff was throbbing. Or maybe I can't hear anything because I'm slipping away into nothingness.

If Riddle was going to take over his body he would need to kill himself. He knew this deeply and resolutely. He also knew there was an afterlife of some kind, and that death did not need to be a scary thing. But it felt like there was something he needed to stick around for, and that nagging, incessant feeling made him cling to life with every fiber of his being.

He studied the silent Tom Riddle as he paced around the destroyed room, his mouth moving but no sound coming out. Harry had heard before that some things about his features and mannerisms reminded people of a young Riddle. There was a time when Harry could even see it himself, and it had frightened him more than anything. Well, almost anything. Right now he could no longer see the resemblance. Riddle had re-imagined himself as a nineteen year old, so he looked a few years younger than Harry did now. He was wiry as Harry had once been, but auror training had packed muscle onto Harry's once slender seeker frame. Where Harry knew his eyes looked bright green like his mother's, Riddles were dark and murky. Even Riddle's mouth was different- a thin, cruel looking pale red line.

Despite Riddle's dark features, he was handsome and it made Harry wonder how the boy had once felt as dark magic had destroyed his youthful features and turned him into a monster. Feel some remorse Tom Harry thought once more.

The door suddenly opened and both Harry and the hallucination that was Tom Riddle turned to look in surprise. A moment later Hermione was inside and Harry tried to stand but his ribs were aching and he fell back against the wall.

"You need to get out of here, it's not safe, I'm not safe to be around…" Harry tried to yell, trying to sound stern and serious but in his own ears his voice just sounded tired and desperate. At least I'm not deaf he thought to himself. He looked over at Riddle who looked excited, a gleam in his eye. "Something is not right, this is what he wants, I can tell. He wants me to hurt you or…"

Harry never got to finish the sentence because Hermione was not listening but simply walking resolutely towards him. He could tell she had been crying but there was a gleam in her eye, that look of defiance that he so admired her for. He looked back towards Riddle who looked downright mirthful and he opened his mouth to warn her again but she was kneeling before him now and she was touching his face, guiding his gaze back towards hers. He looked into her eyes, into that familiar chocolate brown gaze, and he instantly remembered everything they had been through together, remembered how she had always been his tether back to sanity. As he looked into her eyes he forgot about the pain in his ribs and the cut on his face and the fact that Tom Riddle had returned. All he saw was her.

And then she kissed him.

It wasn't the same way she had kissed him many times before. Not a quick, chaste kiss on the cheek or a peck on the corner of his mouth. It was kiss that started sweet and sincere and as his mouth opened to hers it deepened into something fiery and explosive and soon she was straddling his lap, her fingers running through his recently cut hair as his hand found its way to the small of her back.

Stop this he told himself. Some part of him was screaming that he needed to make it stop, that it was all wrong, that the universe was about to shatter. But most of him was melting into her embrace and he felt as though some invisible weight he had been carrying for a long time had disappeared. He felt like he had been cold for so long that he only just remembered what it was like to feel warm.

When she stopped kissing him there was none of the awkwardness in her eyes that he feared, nothing of regret and uncertainty. There was a look he had never seen before, and he didn't understand it. "Do you love me Harry?" she asked breathlessly, still holding his face gently in her hands.

"I…" nooooo, don't do it! shouted a voice deep from within him. "I do. You know I do."

"Are you in love with me?"

Shut up now, it's not too late to stop all this! Your love will kill her, and then you'll truly be all alone, back in that cupboard, unnoticed and unloved. "Yes" he heard himself say instead. "How could I not be in love with you?"

As he said those words, something seemed to click within him and all of the sudden he felt himself emerging from a sort of trance-like state. She shifted slightly away from him as he looked around the room as though he was seeing the world in a different way for the first time. And he realized that Riddle was gone.

"I don't understand…" Harry muttered. "He's gone."

"I was hoping it would work" she responded cryptically, smiling shyly for the first time, her eyes downcast. "He's not really gone though. He's still around, but you took the power he had away from him. He was leaching off of a strong emotion hidden inside of you. Now that you've taken claim of that emotion you should be able to control it instead of letting him control you."

"Love?" Harry shook his head confused. "But how did you know that I…"

"With much persuasion" Hermione admitted. "Somehow hearing Draco Malfoy say that you were in love with me made it seem like it had to be true. He would never say something like that just to be nice. I don't think he even knows how to be nice."

"He doesn't. That ferret is a total prat." He said the words so seriously that suddenly they were both laughing. Not a casual, light laugh of relief but full out, breathless laughing like they had laughed when they were students at Hogwarts. Harry's ribs ached terribly from the laughter but he couldn't stop and didn't want to.

"I'm so glad you're going to be okay" she said when they'd finally stopped, resting her head on his shoulder as she had a thousand times before.

"You saved me again" he sighed, slipping his hand into hers.

"Not entirely. You look a bit beat up." She said, looking at his blood stained cheek.

As always, he was a combination of touched and confused by her concern for him. She was the first person is his memory to come running when he was hurt and now he wanted to ask her a question but was too scared. "I figured you'd be used to seeing me beat up by now" he joked, trying to brush it off. "Just another scar to add to the collection."

"I have another one now too" she admitted, touching the still sore part of her abdomen from the injury she had sustained in France. He reached to where she was touching and without asking lifted her shirt to see the scar beneath it, touching it gently with the tips of his fingers. There was a warm feeling where he touched her and at first she thought it was just her hormones reacting but when he lifted his hand both the pain and the scar has disappeared.

"How…?" she whispered, looking into his intense emerald eyes.

"I don't know" he responded and she wanted to kiss him again but then there was a noise in the doorway and they both looked up.

Ginny was standing there, Draco just beyond her shoulder looking stern from the shadows. "We just got word from Ron. Ville Cache has been attacked. The French Ministry of Magic has been burned to the ground."

**********************

"Thank Merlin we didn't have to take that bloody metal flying contraption again" Ron huffed as he and Luna left the Minister of Magic's office. As soon as Luna's head had stopped pounding they had departed from the hospital in France and used the International Floo system to travel to the British Ministry. Their mission was no longer a secret and time was of the essence, so they didn't even try to hide their tracks.

At the Ministry they had met with the Minister, Arthur Weasley, Kingsley Shacklebolt and a few other key members of the Wizengamot. Mr. Weasley had been so relieved to see that they weren't harmed that he had instantly pulled the two of them into a big hug, babbling about how Molly would have killed them if they'd gone and gotten themselves murdered.

The meeting had been brief as there wasn't much to say. They filled everyone present in on Harry and Draco's discovery about the mysterious Damon, an international ringleader with a knack for Mental Channeling and an obsession with re-organizing the wizarding world. They told them about Brigitte Mouzon and how they had captured and questioned her, affirming that Damon was very old, very powerful and very hell-bent on total control. They finished their story with the sudden attack on Ville Cache, indicating that Damon knew they were onto his cult and that he would no longer wait for peaceful opportunity to seize power; he would take it by violent force. Even if that meant sacrificing some of his own.

Then came the questions they couldn't answer; where was Damon now, who were his followers, how could they prepare to fight against Mental Channeling, when and where Damon would attack next. The Minister seemed rather irritated that Ron and Luna didn't have these answers, which Ron thought was a bit ridiculous since they wouldn't know the little they currently did if it weren't for the risks that Harry, Draco, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and Luna had taken.

When there was nothing left to tell Ron and Luna had been dismissed as though they were little children and they were now headed back to the floo hub. As they walked down the halls, Ron stopped suddenly and Luna nearly failed to notice until she was a few long paces ahead of him.

"What is it Ronald?" she asked, tilting her head in question.

"Luna… are you sure you're okay with going to Malfoy Manor? I mean, I was only a prisoner there for a little while and even I'm okay with admitting that I'm a bit afraid of going back to that gloomy hell hole."

She smiled kindly at him and a small part of his mind noted how pretty she looked when she smiled at him. "It's very kind of you to be so worried about me Ronald, but I've come to terms with my nightmares about being their prisoner. And I don't blame it on Draco Malfoy… in fact, he was the only one who was somewhat kind to me while I was there."

"Malfoy?!" Ron exclaimed, saying the blonde haired man's last name like it was something filthy.

"Yes, he would sneak me food from the kitchens and other things like a blanket or a fresh jumper. He never said anything, but there was always a look in his eyes like he felt sorry and wished he could do more."

"He could have let you out" Ron growled, not ready to accept that there was a single human fiber in his boyhood enemy.

"Yes, and then his family certainly would have been killed by Voldemort. Nothing is black and white Ronald, it's good to remember that. Something good things are done for bad reasons, and sometimes bad things are done for good reasons."

They were approaching the floo hub now and he wasn't sure what else to say. There was something about her ethereal way of speaking that he was coming to find to be relaxing. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" he asked her one last time.

"Yes, we're going to see our friends so I'm actually quite excited. Especially since Harry is alright according to the owl from Ginny."

"Leave it to Hermione to figure it out, no matter how complicated it gets" Ron said with a broad grin. Luna have him a somewhat strange look and then she disappeared into the green flames, shouting "Malfoy Manor!"

When Ron shot through the floo he nearly bumped into her with full force, but she neatly side stepped him and he landed on his face, giving his forehead a good knock on the way.

"Sorry about that Ronald" she said in her usually light tone, but he could have sworn there was something hidden in her voice that suggested she was not very sorry at all.

Rubbing his head he stood up and took in the odd scene before him. His friends were all sitting in the parlor of Malfoy Manor as though it was the most ordinary thing ever. He scoffed at the black furniture, silver snake details and expensive chandelier above his head.

"Don't like my house Weasel?" asked a snide voice that sounded exactly the same as it once had at Hogwarts. "I suppose it doesn't compare to the moth-eaten blankets and hand-me-down furnishings of that hovel you call the Burrow."

Ron spun towards where Draco Malfoy was leaning lazily against the door jamb, dressed impeccably in a fitted black button up and well-pressed slacks. Ron felt a bit self conscious about the fact that he was still in soot covered, blood stained clothing, but he was mostly infuriated about the jab regarding the Burrow, his beloved childhood home that had only been taken from him a week before. Of course, Draco didn't know about the Burrow getting burned down as Harry had assured Ron when they last spoke that he would not tell Malfoy any more information than what he absolutely needed to know.

"If it makes you feel better Ron, I think it's awfully morbid and ugly in here myself" said another voice, and Ron turned back to really look at Harry for the first time. His hair was different, but that wasn't what shocked him so much as the fact that Harry looked changed in a greater way. It's in his eyes… it's not a new look, it's how he used to look when we were younger, before he killed Voldemort and gave every part of his life over to chasing evil. He looks lighter. "Actually, we fucked the room up pretty good the other day. Malfoy did a right proper job of restoring it to its former hideous state."

"Well, ugly knows ugly Potter" Malfoy retorted, but there wasn't the same venom in his voice he used to have when addressing The Boy Who Lived. In fact, Ron could have sworn there was a bit of laughter in Malfoy's silver eyes.

"Alright then mate?" Ron asked, deciding to ignore Malfoy altogether for as long as possible, and redirecting his attention to Harry who was sitting back on a sofa, Hermione seated on the other end and Ginny in an armchair on left hand side.

"Still mending these broken ribs Malfoy gave me, but I'm no longer hallucinating Tom Riddle so yeah, I'm doing much better. How about you? You look a little bloody."

"Damon's attacked Ville Cache" Ron frowned, ineffectually rubbing at Luna's bloodstain on the front of his white t-shirt. "Everything you suspected is right. He's going to start attacking now and we're not even close to ready… we, I mean…"

"You sound tired Ron" Hermione commented, concern in her voice. "When did you last rest?"

"I don't know… maybe two days ago? It's all become a blur. You lot don't look much better, with the exception of Malfoy who seems to have been focusing on catching up on his beauty rest while the rest of us were working."

"I'm glad you think I'm beautiful Weasley, but I also haven't slept in a while. Potter is probably the only one here who has probably rested, and that's only because I knocked him unconscious."

Ron was about to say something in response but Ginny interrupted. "Maybe we should all get some sleep. I know that I for one can barely keep my eyes open."

"Brilliant Gin, but what if while we're all having a slumber party here at Malfoy Manor, Diagon Alley goes down in flames?"

"Well, we're hardly going to prevent that from happening in the next eight hours" Ginny argued. "Sadly, we have to accept that we're next to useless right now, and the only thing that might make us more useful would be sleep."

Ron couldn't argue with her logic, and even if he could, he was admittedly too tired to do so. "We've spoken with the Minister and he's going to inform the other magical world leaders. Soon, every magic community should be on high alert."

"That's good Ron" Hermione nodded. "You did good."

"It was Luna more than me" Ron shrugged. "I've never been good with words but she described exactly what they needed to know."

"Imagine that Ron, a girl who has a brain, not just big boobs" Ginny snorted. Ron glanced sidelong at Luna and noted once more that she did have rather nice breasts. He didn't want Luna to think he had checked her out though, so instead he just stuck his tongue out in a juvenile gesture directed at his sister.

"Well, if this teenaged conversation had ended, I suppose I'll show you to the guest rooms" Malfoy sighed. "I've already disgraced this household enough by letting Potter stay here and destroy half of my property. I suppose I can't sink much lower so I might as well offer you beds."

"Your generosity is overwhelming" Ginny said sarcastically, but there was something in her tone that almost verged on flirtation and that did not sit well with Ron. I'm probably imagining things he decided as Malfoy led them to what he referred to as the "East Wing". After all, I am very tired.

"There are twenty guest bedrooms in this wing. They're all basically the same design and set up, but choose whichever ones you prefer. I will be staying in my room, which I will not tell you how to find because I prefer if my sleep isn't interrupted by any of you obnoxious do-gooders. Oh, one more thing. These rooms were typically stayed in by my parents' Death Eater friends, and there were also probably a half dozen murders here at various points in history, so if you have nightmares that may be why. Sleep tight!"

"Ass" Ron growled as Draco walked away, but when he looked at Ginny he could swear that she was studying Malfoy's ass as he walked away. It's just my imagination.

"Goodnight everyone" Luna said airily, turning into the nearest room and closing the door firmly behind her. Ginny waved absently and did the same so that only the trio was left standing in the hallway.

"Well, I guess I'll-" Ron started but he was cut short by one of Hermione's classic bear hugs.

"I'm so glad you're alright Ron" she said softly in his ear. "I'm glad we're all together again."

"I'm glad you're okay too" he responded, wrapping his arms around her in turn, feeling the warmth of her embrace wash through his weary bones and make him feel whole again. "I don't know what we're going to do. I'm afraid that we can't win this time."

"We always win" Hermione said her tone light and joking but the expression in her brown eyes was troubled as she pulled back from him. He wanted to say something wise and he felt like if Luna was standing there she would have had just the right words for the moment and would know just what to say to reassure them all in her odd way. He did not know the words though so he gave her a light kiss on the forehead, gave Harry a brotherly pat on the back and then turned into one of the many empty rooms to seek a sleep he was afraid would not come.

Once Ron had left Hermione turned to Harry, suddenly realizing that they were alone in the quiet and there were still so many unsaid things, so many puzzling emotions and questions to be asked. But she was just too tired to tackle it all so she walked into one of the rooms and sat on the bed, taking her shoes off. When she was done she looked out into the dark hallway and realized that he hadn't followed her like she assumed he would. In fact, he was gone altogether.

What if Riddle's returned? What if it didn't work, what if Riddle's taken control of him?

A feeling of panic welled up inside of her and she jumped up, running barefooted across the icy cold marble floors, turning out into the hallway so quickly that when she collided with someone she wasn't even sure whom it was. Strong arms kept her from falling and the scent of fresh cut grass and spearmint flooded her senses.

"For Merlin's sake Harry! You scared the bloody hell out of me!" she shouted, and he could have laughed at her use of swear words, but she was shaking slightly in his arms and he realized how much he'd scared her.

"I'm sorry, I was just… I wasn't sure…" he felt idiotic, like the least romantic, thick headed bloke in the universe. Sure, I suck at talking to girls but this is HERMIONE, the girl who knows more about me than I know about myself. I don't have to try so bloody hard. When he remembered that little fact he let his impulses take over and he reached up, cupping her cheek in his hand so that she was looking up at him. And then he kissed her until she stopped shaking.

"I didn't know if you wanted space" he said gently when they parted. "Believe me, I don't want to be apart from you but I thought that due to everything that has happened you might want to have time to yourself."

Hermione realized it was very thoughtful of him, and gentlemanly that he didn't just expectantly follow her into the bedroom. Yet she also thought he wasn't telling the whole truth and she suddenly felt self-conscious. HE wants time apart from me. Of course he does, just because we kissed I can't expect we'll fall into this epic love story. There's going to be all sorts of awkwardness to figure out. "I understand" she said, lowering her eyes and stepping away from him. "I'll see you in the morning then."

"Um, alright" Harry responded, baffled. "Unless… you want me to stay with you?"

Maybe he's already bottled whatever supposed feelings he had for me away again. Who was I kidding? I'm not going to change him- he's put himself in an emotional shell since he was a child. If there is a perfect woman out there for Harry I'm not her. Self doubt was flooding into her with full force now and she just wanted to close the door behind him and go to sleep and start tomorrow the same way she had started today- blissfully unaware that she was in love with Harry Potter.

"Areyouinlovewithme?" he asked her suddenly, his voice so rushed that she could barely make out the words. She turned back towards him stunned. "I mean, I know you figured out my feelings for you, and I guess me facing them myself is what stopped Riddle. And I'll be forever thankful for that, but if you don't feel the same way, I'll understand."

She suddenly felt like she wasn't looking at a veteran hero, but a scared little boy who had been stuffed in a closet growing up and told that he was no good. In his familiar green eyes he looked insecure and downright scared. His fists were clenched at his sides as though bracing himself for what was about to come, as though he was sure of rejection.

"For how smart you and I can usually be, we were both very blind to our own feelings Harry. I've been in love with you since the day you saved me from that bloody troll. I didn't know it then because I was just a little girl. And then when I was older, I knew what the feelings meant but I was afraid. Afraid that if I admitted that I was in love with you, and you somehow felt the same way I would lose myself entirely, and if you died… if you died I would die too. And you were always so close to death. It was easier to bury the feelings than to face that fear."

"I was afraid you would die too. Everyone who I love dies. I'm still afraid." As he said that he felt a strange sensation as though the world had shifted under his feet for just a moment, and then there was a faint whisper he could not make out. But then it was gone.

Hermione did not miss the sudden change in his demeanor. "Just then, did you hear him? Did you hear Riddle?"

"It was just a whisper, but it was him. I thought he was gone? I still don't fully understand."

"He's not gone" she sighed, feeling so weary in that moment. She briefly explained to him about the principles of the werewolf fang pensieve and how a piece of the werewolf's soul is able to bind itself to his fangs due to the fundamental nature of the relationship between a werewolf and his fangs. "Just as it did when you defeated Voldemort as a baby, a small piece of Voldemort's soul escaped the last time you defeated him. This time though, he used a form of magic called Soul Binding. So this time he had all of his memories and he had a consciousness of his own. But for it to work, he had to bind to some part of you that was essential your being."

"My love for you" Harry guessed.

"Yes, it was hidden deep in your consciousness, and therefore it was a great place for him to hide, and it was also powerful enough to sustain him."

"So for five years, I've been carrying Riddle around with me like a stow away in my head?"

"Unfortunately...yes. And he's still there, only you have better control of him again. The only part I still don't know is why he only just started to surface lately."

Harry frowned, running his fingers through his freshly cut hair. She wondered about when he had found time for a haircut but decided it was rather irrelevant at the moment. "I think I know" he finally sighed. "Do you remember that day a few months back when you got home and I had made a mess of your house?"

"Yes, if by a mess you mean you nearly bled to death!"

"I didn't nearly bleed to death. I did die." She didn't realize she was holding her breath but suddenly she realized she could hear her heartbeat pounding heavily in her chest. "I had been wounded badly and in my dazed state I didn't think to go to the hospital… I only thought to go to you. I was losing a lot of blood and of course you were at work, so I made my way to the medicine cabinet but by the time I got the bottles of blood replenishing and healing potions, I was losing consciousness. I managed to swallow them down, but as the last drop went into my lips I was so weak that I passed out. In the few seconds it took for the potion to affect me, I died. My last thought was of you and I knew, in that moment, that of all I've done in my life, the thing I am proudest of is having loved you. Even though I may have never acted on it, it kept my soul from becoming evil… my love for you made me better."

She realized she was crying and she wiped the tears hastily away. "That realization must have been like blowing the dust off of an old glass, allowing Tom Riddle to truly see out for the first time. From there, his consciousness just grew."

"I had him under control until Draco did that stupid Odyssea potion" Harry complained.

"Yes, I think the potion fragmented your consciousness, allowing you to literally see him and speak to him face to face. Actually, now that you've taken ownership of your feelings and can control him again, what the Odyssea potion did to you might work in our favor."

"You sound like Malfoy now" Harry said in his fatigued stupidity.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that" she replied with mock indignation. "What I mean is, now that you control him you may be able to call him out to speak to you on your terms. You may be able to get him to give us more information on Mental Channeling."

"Do you think so?" Harry asked, grinning at the thought of being in charge of Riddle for round 2 (or would it be round 3 now? he was losing count). "Let's not try tonight though. I've had quite enough conversation with him for the time being."

"Of course" she said with a soft smile, but her eyes were sad.

"You never answered my question. Did you want me to stay with you?"

"Forever" she responded as she wrapped her hand around his forearm and pulled him into the room.

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