Unofficial Portkey Archive

CHAPTER 24: You Without Me

The wind was whipping Ron's hair around in an erratic manner that nearly made Luna laugh. In fact, she would have laughed it wasn't for the fact that the relentless breeze was so cold that her face felt numb.

"Would on the Mould is quite a bit larger than I'd imagined" Ron shouted over the howling that filed their ears. "I don't suppose this Adrian character could have been a bit more specific about exactly WHERE we were supposed to meet him? Y'know, like an address?"

"He was trying to be discrete" Luna reminded him with a nudge to the ribs. She moved closer to his side, allowing his tall stature to block out some of the wind. "If I was better at this whole psychic thing I'm sure I could find him."

No sooner had those words left her mouth when she heard Adrian's voice in her mind. "Turn around" it whispered, and she did as commanded. Her and Ron stood atop a perfectly round hill covered in muddy grass. It offered a good vantage point, but still she saw nothing but a long stretch of dreary, cold landscape.

"What'chya looking at?" Ron asked, squinting at the horizon.

"I don't know…" she admitted, scanning the hilly surroundings in search of some sort of home or hovel. "There's nothing there but that dead old tree."

Ron grinned. "Sometimes trees lead to other places. Take the Whomping Willow for example…" he didn't bother to finish this thought as they were now walking quickly towards the tree. Once they arrived they searched its black bark for some sort of opening. Near the base Luna spotted a place where the roots parted enough to give way to a small hole. It wasn't nearly big enough for her to crawl through, but once she was pressed flat on her stomach in the dirt she was able to slide her arm into the opening. She reached until her elbow got stuck and was about to retract her arm and deem it a dead end when she felt a pulling on her hand. Then she disappeared.

Still mucking about on the other side of the tree Ron failed to see his fair-headed friend's discovery, and so he had quite a shock when he came around the bend to find that she had vanished into thin air.

"LUNA!" he called out, his voice pulled into the wind and drifting into the hillside.

Luna did not hear Ron shout. She found herself in a rather cozy den that was lit by candles. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting she could make out dirt walls behind the heavy tapestries that hung around her. I'm underground she realized. She also realized that her hand had not been returned to her and was being held by Adrian, who was sitting cross legged on a blanket.

"Sorry if I alarmed you" his stammered. "I had to pull you through." He released her hand and she was able to dust the dirt and mud from her clothing. "I've been in wolf form for so long, I'm afraid I've become quite awkward at being a human."

"I've always been awkward at being a human" Luna replied with a kind smile. "This is a nice place for a wolf."

He laughed at this. "I thought a bit of decoration might be in order with you visiting. It was just your standard wolf den for decades."

"I'm flattered that you went through the trouble."

"No, it was no trouble at all. Truth be told, I've missed being a human. Hiding all this time has led me to forget who I am."

Her eyes lit up at this confession. "Good then, you can help us find Damon and put an end to this madness. You won't have to hide anymore."

He averted his clear blue eyes from her and he saw a look of guilt there. "Truth be told Luna, I want to help you and your friends, and so I'll tell you where Damon is hiding. But I'm not ready to come out of my own hiding just yet."

"Why not? You just said that…"

"Yes, I'm tired of being a wolf. Believe me, I'm getting old now and I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my days in a soft warm bed with cooked meals. So I'll tell you where Damon is, but I won't go with you to find him."

"I know that you're not powerful at Channeling but…"

"I'm a coward Luna" he said with a thin smile. "It's plain and simple."

`'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Harry opened his eyes slowly, and sitting across the room from him was the young Tom Riddle with his usual sadistic smirk and strange dark eyes. "I was wondering how long before you missed me Potter."

"I don't miss you" Harry lied, not sure if the lie was for Riddle's benefit or his own.

"I can't read your thoughts anymore Potter, but I can always tell when you're bluffing. I've been waiting for you to call upon me for some time now. That pendant you have my consciousness trapped in is like a grey limbo. I wander endlessly with nothing but my thoughts, and yet I can feel time pass. It's agony."

"Then why did you ask for it?" Harry snapped.

"Because I knew it was the only way to get what I want. There's very little of me left in this world; I am but a scrap of consciousness tethered to your soul. Fighting you was exhausting. Now I won't have to fight you because you've realized the inevitable. We are strongest when we work together."

"I've called you out to use you for a purpose, and then you'll go back to that pendent, back to your limbo."

"Perhaps, but there will be a next time that you'll need to call on me, and a time after that. The more you need me, the more you'll realize there is no you without me. "

"I have self control, something you never had. I can choose to put you aside, I can even choose to destroy you when this war ends."

"When this war ends there will be another, and another after that. And all the stupid little people will beg for you to save them, to bleed and die for them over and over again. You will always need me, just as I will unfortunately always need you. Look at that pendant in which you've trapped what remains of me. Have you ever really looked at it?"

Harry opened his hand and studied the pendant for the first time. It had been nothing more than an odd piece of jewelry to him, something he had picked out at random from a box of bobbles at the Manor. It was a flat piece of metal shaped in an oval, and on it was etched a knot.

"It wasn't random that you selected that icon. It was a parting message I left to you, one you purposely chose to ignore. It's the eternal knot. You and I are connected for eternity Potter. THIS is our true destiny, though I fought it for so many years."

Harry smirked and Riddle looked surprised, as though this was not the expression he had been expecting. "Oh Tom, while you were in your sorry little limbo you must have missed the news. I'm dying."

Riddle leaned forward, studying Harry with a dead expression. "That's a lie."

"And here I thought you could always call my bluffs." Reaching to the collar of his shirt Harry yanked the fabric down to expose the dark stain near his collarbone. "A clever trick from our mutual friend Damon. You and I have only one shared destiny and it is the shared destiny of all men. We are going to die."

`''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Ron was in a panic. He was in the middle of a strange country, surrounded only by muddy hills as far as the eyes could see and there was absolutely no way to know where Luna had gone to. I'll make sure no harm comes to Luna; those were the words he had said to Hermione before leaving. Now they seemed childish and full on folly. How was he supposed to protect her in a world of immortal wizards, wandless magic and ancient spells?

Tears stung his eyes unbidden as he called her name for what seemed to be the thousandth time. His throat was painfully hoarse but he didn't care. He would scream her name until his lungs bled if it meant finding her. I'm a failure he kept telling himself, wracking his brain for some solution, some explanation. If he'd brought Hermione he was sure she would have sorted it out by now; she had all the brains. I'm an idiot for not bringing her along. Did I think I could keep Luna safe alone? What good am I? What good have I ever been to anyone?

"Luna…" he croaked out desperately, falling to his knees in the mud, his forehead resting against the trunk of the tree.

"Ron?" he heard her voice from behind him. Spinning around he saw her standing there like a mirage, her light hair shining in the sunlight. He lunged to his feet and grabbed her, and without a second thought he kissed her. At first she seemed surprised, but then she returned his affection, kissing him with a passion he had not known she possessed.

When they parted he realized a few tears had snuck from his eyes and wiped them away, feeling slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry I thought you were… you just disappeared! And I- I- I couldn't live with myself if something bad happened to you."

This time she initiated the kiss and it was unlike any snog he'd ever experienced. It filled him with a sense of warmth that had not realized was missing from his life. He wrapped her up so tightly in his arms that she was lifted from the ground and when they parted they were both laughing, the wind suddenly calmed as though it had played witness to their display.

"We need to get back to the Manor. I know where Damon is now" she held her hand out for her broomstick and he removed it from his shoulder where it was strapped onto his back along with his own.

"What about that Adrian bloke? Isn't he going to help us?"

"He gave us the information we need, but he won't be coming."

"What? He made us come all the way out here and he's not even going to help?"

"Not all battles are won by warriors Ron. He's done his part, now let's go home."

Home he thought, and that sense of warmth returned. Malfoy Manor was far from being his home, but if she was wherever she was going, it felt like it could be close enough to a home for him. The Burrow had burned down, but he now had a new sense of home and that thought kept him content the whole flight back.

When they were solidly landed at the Manor their first course of action was to find the others. They headed down to the dungeon to discover Hermione and Ginny hard at work. As Luna and Ron descended the slippery steps to Draco's lab, they could hear Hermione's voice echoing up towards them.

"Draco's methodology is really sound, brilliant actually" she was saying with a note of surprise.

"Perhaps one really can grow smarter over time" Ginny responded. "I never really knew him in school of course. Mostly what I knew about him was from the Quidditch Pitch and from Ron's whining. Of course, I have ample reasons to hate his family based on what happened my first year with the diary…"

"As you bloody well should!" Ron said, bounding off the last step to interrupt the conversation. "I don't care if he's gotten a tad bit smarter, he's still a git."

"Agreed" Hermione said with a half smile, and while Ron knew she was just appeasing him, he appreciated it anyways. "Anyhow, Draco's work here is really quite impressive but none of it seems to be working."

Luna frowned. "I asked Adrian about the spell but he knew nothing of it. He said it certainly sounds like something Damon would concoct though."

"We'll just have to keep trying" Hermione said softly, turning away from them.

"Adrian was able to tell Luna where Damon is hiding though" Ron chimed in, a note of pride in his voice. "I guess Malfoy should be here to discuss this…"

"We forced him to get some rest" Ginny chimed in, tossing her work aside with a look of relief. "I'll go get him. Meet us in the parlor."

Sensing Ron wanted a moment to speak with his best friend alone, Luna departed as well, claiming to be hungry. Once the other two girls had cleared out, Hermione and Ron were left alone in the dungeon. "You'll find a cure…" Ron started after the silence surrounding them grew to be too much.

"And what if we don't?" Hermione said, turning back to Ron, her eyes bright with pain. "It's all well and good that we know where Damon is, but Harry is hardly a match for him half dead. Even with Riddle's consciousness boosting his own powers…"

"And Malfoy still hasn't figured out how to Channel" Ron said with a note of disgust. "Malfoy still has Greyback howling around in his subconscious. That should be boosting his powers as well."

"AND Malfoy is also dying" she reminded him. "Ron, we can't take Damon on without the two of them at full health. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless we found a way to soul bind the power of another to ourselves. It would make us stronger. We could fight in their place if… if we don't find a cure."

Ron's jaw dropped. "Hermione, have you gone insane? First off, when have you been one to give up on saving Harry? You've always fought to save him, even when it seemed utterly impossible. Secondly, soul binding requires someone die. Are you suggesting we find a couple sacrificial pigs? It sounds like something… something Voldemort would say!"

She burst into tears at this and he wasn't even sure how to react. He wanted her to cry; wanted her to see how foolish she was being. It was a feeling he was unfamiliar with. "I think I'm losing my mind Ron. I thought I could be strong enough to deal with all this, but this is different than when we faced Voldemort. The magic is so much more complicated and powerful, and Harry's different… he's…"

"Not here" Ron said, a tone of sadness in his voice. "The two of you are always your best when you work together, but now he's not here and you don't know what to do."

"Sometimes I think I'm useless without him."

"That's utter bollocks. You are brilliant and you're perfectly aware of that. But you him are synchronous… it took me a long time to understand that but it's perfectly clear now. You balance each other."

"I'm not sure I can balance him anymore. I'm not sure anyone can. You weren't there Ron… he was so different. There were glimmers of cruelty in him and I'm not sure where they came from. I guess he's seen so much blood shed and horror I should have known…"

"Known what?"

"That there will come a day when I can't save him."

"Perhaps" Ron agreed, and his casual response surprised her. "But you and I will always be able to save him together. The Golden Trio right?"

She laughed. "I've always hated that name."

"Me too" and conceded. "But the three of us can face anything. When he gets back you and I will find a way to save his arse yet again. I promise."

`''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Tom Riddle was angry and Harry was amused. Never would he have imagined that dying could have such pleasurable side effects. "Why should I help you with this fire spell if we're just going to die anyways?"

"Because deep down inside you're a good person?"

"I murdered your parents Potter, along with dozens of other helpless…"

"I know, I know. You're evil incarnate. Save me with usual drabble, you sound like your older self. Always going on and on about how special and evil you are."

Riddle frowned. "That's distasteful."

"What's distasteful is you deciding you want to be Tom Riddle again, but taking credit for the works of `Voldemort'. Actually, more than distasteful, the whole thing is purely insane."

"You still haven't given me a viable reason to help you."

Harry's eyes lit up. "Here's one you'll like; you'll get to feel the raw power of burning away an entire species." Riddle smiled his strange cruel smile and Harry grinned in response. "I knew you'd like that part."

Back out in the cold air the frost cut through to his bones, but Riddle's apparition was unaffected by the weather since he was not real. It was strange watching the young man walk atop the snow, his hands casually stuffed in his pockets, his robe not even shifting against the mightily blowing wind. Once they were far enough from the camp that the fires below were merely dots of light, Harry stopped and waited.

"I had read about the ijiraq during my fifth year. A fascinating phenomenon of magical power. At a point in time I wondered if there might be any practical application for their strengths, just as there was for the werewolves. Alas, werewolves can be coaxed to behave like loyal dogs whereas ijiraq have no consciousness to speak of. They're simply lost souls caught in a pattern of deceit and destruction."

"I can see why you were interested in them; you have a lot in common" Harry retorted. It was strange to recall that Riddle had been such an avid learner. In this way, and only in this way, Riddle reminded him of Hermione. He quickly shut that thought away and soon there was a strange silence followed by a faint rustling noise.

"They're coming" Harry said, extending his hand in preparation of casting the spell. "Are you ready?"

"Always" Riddle responded with a smug grin, and as the shadowy figures of the ijiraq closed in around them Harry felt himself filled with the explosive hatred of Tom Riddle. He felt every last bit of his disdain, his cruelty and his dark insanity, and as it filled him to the point of bursting he Channeled it all into one singular stream of energy which emitted as a dazzling flame, blinding to look at.

The ijiraq did not scream, run away or even moan. They seemed to turn into moths, gravitating towards the flames, which immediately consumed them, leaving behind not so much as a pile of ashes in the white snow. They burned by the hundreds until they were all gone, and yet there was still more of Riddle's ire to fuel the inferno. Harry found himself in a sudden battle for control of his own wits, and then at last he was able to focus on a single memory that gave him a sense of calm.

He saw Hermione lying across the bed from him, her eyes closed as she slept, her wavy brown hair pooled out around her on the pillow. Her breaths were soft and even, and there was a look of peace on her face. "I love you" he heard her whisper.

Coughing and gasping for air Harry fell to his knees in the snow. The fire was extinguished and all that was left were steaming puddles of melted snow. "Nice try Riddle" he said, wiping the ice from his clothes as he stood up.

"I wasn't trying to gain control of you" Riddle shrugged. "After all, you're dying anyways."

"Well, it sure felt like you got out of control with all that rage at the end" Harry snarled, heading back towards the camp.

"Oh, that wasn't me. That was you."

`'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Ginny had tried knocking on the door to Draco Malfoy's room several times, but she had a feeling that the inordinately thick wood made it rather hard to hear. "Oh to hell with it" she muttered, pushing the door open at last.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust; the fire had grown low in the hearth and it was the only source of light in the otherwise dark and shadowy room. She crossed the marble floors towards his four-post bed, whispering his name. As she drew closer she could see that he was fast asleep, his silver/blonde hair matted to one side as he slept with a look of extreme discomfort on his face. Ginny wondered if he was having a nightmare, or if it was simply the pain of the poison that was causing him to look so displeased.

"Draco!" she called, her voice a bit louder now, and all at once his hand shot out, grabbing her by the wrist and flinging her to the bed. He was on top of her as she lay there breathless, and slowly he realized what was happening. For the love of Merlin, why do I always have to be so attracted to the wrong sort of men? she wondered as his confused gaze cleared and drank in the sight of her.

All too soon he rolled away and sat up on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his disheveled hair. "What are you doing?"

"Waking you up" she responded in her best indignant tone, although she feared that instead it came out as girlish and unsteady.

"If you wanted to get into bed with me, you could have just asked" her replied with a rakish grin, standing up now before he headed over to stoke the flames of the fire. Once the flames were fully lit she could better make out his shirtless figure, and it was in that moment that she could see the extent of the poison running through his veins. It had moved on from the front part of his chest and was now tracing the veins through the left half of his back, creeping up towards his neck.

"Does it hurt?" she asked, and even she was surprised by the emotion in her voice.

"Yes" he said bluntly, grabbing his button up from the back of an armchair and throwing it on. "But that's not what you're here about."

"It's okay to let people worry about you."

"Are you?" he retorted, staring at her in a way that was so intense she felt uncertain of what to say or do next. "Are you worried about me?"

"Y-yes" she stammered, but she wasn't sure why.

"No you're not. You're worried about him. You're worried about The Boy Who Lived, The Savior of the Wizarding World… you know that if I'm dying, he's dying and it worries you. I don't blame you. It worries me too. Even after all the bad I've done he gave me a chance at redemption, a chance to be good and brave. Perhaps even a chance for real friendship, which I've never known before. And now he's dying and it's my fault, and I know you can't forgive me for that. Unless I come up with a cure… I need to get back to the lab."

"Draco, stop" Ginny interrupted, leaping from the bed and blocking his the progress to the door in a few swift steps. It wasn't hard; he was moving slowly like a wounded animal. "Stop feeling bloody sorry for yourself. Harry gave you a chance, that's true, but so have the rest of us. Harry didn't just give you a chance at friendship- we all did. So start acting like you deserve it instead of playing this whole cast down angel bit."

There was a glimmer of surprise in Draco's grey eyes but he quickly hid it with a sneer. "But I've heard girls drop their knickers for the cast down angel bit."

"No, that's just Slytherin girls. And that's just because they're notoriously easy."

She led him to the parlor where Ron, Luna and Hermione stood waiting. The mood in the room was so tense and morbid that Ginny momentarily had the strange urge to crack a joke just to see the astonished look on their faces. She suppressed the random desire and flopped down on one of the many stiff, uncomfortable sofas the Manor had to offer.

Luna spoke first. "I see no need to drag out the tension, so here's the thing.... Adrian told me that Damon is hiding in the Redwood National Park."

"As in… California?" Hermione asked, perplexed. "I mean that seems… odd."

"Isn't that a muggle park?" Draco asked, his features automatically forming a look of disdain, as though he simply couldn't help himself.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No public park is simply muggle Draco. Anyone can go there, hence why it's a bloody PUBLIC park…"

"Adrian has been able to use his psychic abilities to see into Damon's mind… like an advanced form of legilmency. He has seen Damon and his followers camped there. Damon knows Draco is dying, and therefore he knows Harry is dying as well due to the blood bond in the unbreakable vow. He expects they'll both be dead quite soon."

Luna paused to look at Ron and Hermione, who were both standing by the hearth as though it would bring some heat into the frigid atmosphere of the room. Ron looked away, and Hermione's expression was so painful to behold that Luna found herself having to look away as well. She cleared her throat and continued. "Damon has set up a place in the forest that is shielded by complex notice-me-not spells and other glamours. That's why the muggles never notice it. Nor do any witches or wizards for that matter. You can only know where it is if you know where to look, which I do."

"So you can lead us there" Ginny ascertained, trying to hold a note of positivity in her voice but failing miserably. All she could think about was the fact that Damon expected Draco and Harry to die soon. It was his poisoning spell; it stood to reason that he would have a good sense of how quickly it could kill.

"Yes, and we will be able to catch him unaware" Luna said, also failing to convey this message with any confidence building cheer. She wondered if this was how mediwitches felt when they announced that a patient had died to the victim's loved ones.

"We can't do this until Harry gets back," Draco said, standing up slowly. His voice was thick, but his emotions well buried. "We should get back to working on a cure."

"Harry…" Hermione whispered, his name escaping her mouth unbidden and hanging in the air in a haunting way that made them all stop moving as they spiraled into all of the thoughts they'd been avoiding and emotions they'd be suppressing.

There had been few other names in history that could so dramatically alter the mood of a room just when spoken in the right context. Yet despite being a simple name, it was a name that could do just that. And as they all held onto that name, thinking of what it meant to them in that specific moment, he came roaring through the floo network and straight into the parlor.

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