Author's Note: This story begins as Ginny Weasley is sitting in her parent's house. The story starts out with Ginny relating her feelings on the events that will occur in this story. The idea for this story came from the movie "Circle of Friends". This story will not follow that plotline verbatim or anything like that, but if you've seen the movie, you might pick up on some similarities. The movie "Circle of Friends" is really quite good and one of my favorites. It is based on a novel by Maeve Binchy. If you have the chance, you should either read that book or watch the movie. Again, this story is inspired from that movie/book, but is not a retelling of that particular story. Now, that I've thoroughly confused you…ha ha ha! I will try not to use too many cliffhangers (that's probably an empty promise). Anyway, this story is set during the Trio's seventh year at Hogwarts. I hope you enjoy this one. I look forward to writing it. This first chapter is quite short, and I apologize for that, but I hope you aren't disappointed.
Chapter One
Beautiful Disaster
"He's magical myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see"
(Kelly Clarkson/Beautiful Disaster)
Ginny sat down on the comfortable sofa in the Burrow and pulled out her journal. She'd kept one for the longest time. This had been a gift from her brother Charlie when she turned 16. She'd neglected it the first few months she'd had it, but she'd needed an outlet to air her feelings and her emotions through all the drama that had enfolded these past few months. The journal had been quite cathartic for her. She pulled out a quill and ink from her bag and started to write…
"In retrospect, I suppose we should have told everyone the truth to begin with. It would certainly been for the best and it would have saved a lot of people a lot of heartache. Well, there's nothing that can be done about it now. We did what we did and now we have to live with the consequences of our actions. I never meant to hurt anyone. I just got myself into a very bad situation that I had no idea how to get out of. My savior came along and yes, I admit, I did pressure him into helping me. I played on his sympathies. I made him feel as if he owed me for it. When in all honesty, he didn't owe me a damn thing."
"It was I, who got me into this mess. Well, that's not entirely true. There was someone else involved, but he chose to stay out of it and left me alone, scared and terrified. If my family had known the truth…I don't really like to think about that now. They would have killed him, disowned me and then where would we be?"
"I was selfish. I realize that now. I couldn't see past anyone's pain, but my own. In the process, I hurt people who I considered good friends---one of which, I thought of as a sister. I also inflicted great pain upon my family---my parents, my brothers. They don't look at me the same now. I'm damaged goods, so to speak."
"I would do anything for their forgiveness, but I know I don't deserve it. I deserve the disparaging looks I get on a daily basis now. I don't like them, but I realize that they are a punishment for what I did."
"The worst bit, though, is how I feel about what I did. I hate myself for it. I'll never forget the looks on their faces when I gave them my version of "the truth." They had no idea how bad it actually was."
"I made my bed and now I have to lie in it, as that old proverbial saying goes. I wish someone could perform a memory altering spell on me so I can forget what I'd done. Yet, I know that wouldn't be right. I have to live with the consequences of my actions, no matter how vile and horrible they were. I had honorable intentions, didn't I? That's what I like to comfort myself with when I have doubts and am feeling at my lowest. How can I say that, though? It's never an honorable thing to hurt your friends; to betray them in the worst way. It's hardly honorable to bring shame upon your family. Yet, with my silly actions, that's exactly what I did."
"I'm not saying these things to make you feel sorry for me. I'm not saying these things to get your pity. I don't want those things, at all. I just want you to understand why I did what I did."
A year ago…
The seventh and final year at Hogwarts for Harry, Ron and Hermione started out with a sense of promise and peace. Harry had seemingly finally been able to come to terms with the loss of Sirius. It hadn't been easy, but he'd made it through, mainly with help from Hermione and Ron, who'd been at his side through it all.
Harry had vanquished Voldemort fully and finally last year. The battle had been long, hard and tough. Harry had never fully discussed with anyone, save Dumbledore, about what had actually transpired that night in the Forbidden Forest. Hermione and Ron had wondered of course, but he'd remained tight-lipped about it. Having to relive it once for Dumbledore had been hard enough. He didn't need to do it again. Ron had been quite cross about it all, but Hermione had figured that when Harry was ready to talk, he would. You never got anywhere with Harry if you pushed him to reveal more than what he was ready to let you see.
Stories ran rampant, not only in the papers, but also on the Hogwarts grounds and throughout the wizarding villages. Harry, when asked, would politely decline to answer and would say that he wasn't comfortable talking about it.
Hermione had to admit that it hurt that he didn't feel like he could talk about it with his best friends. Yet, she also knew that sometimes, people had certain things going on in their lives that they just weren't ready or willing to talk about yet. She accepted that, but it didn't make it hurt any less.
The worst part was that Harry had seemed sort of quiet and withdrawn lately. It was to be expected after all that he'd been through. He would still laugh and joke around with them, but sometimes, Hermione would look at him when he was studying or sitting in the common room, and he'd have this lost little boy expression on his face. This only made her heart go out to him even more.
She wanted to have a chance to talk to him, face to face and one-on-one, but her schedule hadn't allowed it. She and Harry had been named Head Boy and Girl and these duties had kept both of them pretty much preoccupied.
Hermione had to admit that one of the perks of being Head Girl had to be the fact that she had her own bedroom. Don't get her wrong, she hadn't hated living with Lavender and Parvati these past six years. That was a little strong. She just didn't think she'd be able to put up with their incessant squealing and giggling for another year. It was just too much to deal with when you're trying to study or read.
The Head Boy/Girl suite was absolutely fantastic. Hermione had heard about it for years, but she'd never expected it to be as great as it was. The room was a large suite with its own common room that had two large, comfy couches. There was a large, stone fireplace and a large bay window with a comfortable window seat that seemed like the perfect place to read and study. Hermione had fallen in love with it immediately.
Her bedroom and Harry's bedroom were separated by a large bathroom that had both a shower and an antique looking bathtub. Hermione looked forward to having nice, soothing bubble baths in that tub.
That evening, Hermione arrived back at their suite carrying an armload of books.
"Hermione?" Harry asked, getting up from the couch and helping her with the books.
"What is all this?
"Books," Hermione said simply. "I had to check them out now. McGonagall said they'd help me out with N.E.W.T.S. You're welcome to them, too, you know."
"Thanks," he said. He watched as she placed them on the big table in the corner of the room. "I brought you back some food."
"Thanks," she said, smiling gratefully at him. "I was wondering what I was going to do for dinner. I lost track of time in the library."
"Imagine that," Harry said, bringing her the sandwich he'd nicked from the kitchens for her. He poured her a glass of juice and she sat down at the table to dig in to her food.
"This is so good," she said, taking a bite. "I was famished. "
"You're welcome," Harry said, starting to walk away from her and go back to the sofa.
"Sit with me, please," she said, calling after him. "I mean, if you're not busy or anything. I'd really like the company."
He looked a little confused, but smiled at her as he came back to the table and took the seat beside her again.
"I've missed you," she said.
"What do you mean?" he asked. "We see each other everyday."
"You know what I mean," she said. "We haven't really had a proper conversation since we got back."
"Well, we've both been busy," Harry said evasively. "I was beginning to think you were going to take up residence in the library."
"As much fun as that'd be," Hermione said with a laugh. "I happen to know that all work and no play make Hermione a dull girl."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Hermione Granger?" Harry asked. "Are you feeling well?"
"I'm fine, Harry," Hermione said, rolling her eyes at him. "I mean, I know I can, at times, seem obsessed with school, but I know that there are more important things than schoolwork."
Harry looked at her quizzically again.
"Oh, come off it," Hermione said. "You know that I'm not just all about school. I care about my friends. I care about how you're doing. I hope you know that."
"I do," he said, patting her on the arm. "I know that."
"Good," she said.
"Believe me, with all the patrolling we'll be doing together, you'll probably be sick of talking to me before too long," Harry said.
"That would never happen," she said. "As long as you don't start talking about Quidditch all the time. Ron has become a walking, talking Quidditch machine lately. He's always talking about it. Fred told me that he's talking about quaffles and snitches in his sleep."
"Well, he wants to try and make a go of it professionally, you know that," Harry said.
"I know," Hermione said. "Molly isn't too happy about that."
"No," Harry said. "But, if it's what he wants to do, I know she'll support him."
"Yeah," Hermione said.
For a long time, they sat in silence. Hermione took another bite of her sandwich and offered Harry some.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said. "This has to be the biggest sandwich I've ever seen. I'm never going to be able to finish it all myself."
"Okay," Harry said, taking the sandwich from her and taking a big bite.
"Hey," Hermione protested.
"What?" Harry said, with his mouth full.
"That was a bite?" Hermione said, taking her sandwich back. "Merlin's beard!"
"You said I could have some," Harry said, stifling a laugh. He covered his mouth as he continued to chew the bite of sandwich.
"I said a bite, not the whole bloody thing," Hermione said.
"Note to self," Harry said, winking at her. "Next time Hermione offers me any food, just say no to avoid all conflict."
"Good idea," Hermione said.
For the next few minutes, they talked and enjoyed each other's company. Nothing earth-shattering was discussed, but that was alright for Hermione. Harry seemed to be getting back to normal. She enjoyed just talking with him. Too often in the past, she'd had to share him with Ron. Although she'd never told them this, at times, she felt a little like a third wheel where they were concerned. Although she loved them both, if she was being honest, she knew that she was closer to Harry than she was with Ron. Harry was someone she could always talk with. She knew that he'd always listen. She hoped he thought of her the same way.
After Hermione finished her sandwich, she and Harry decided to retire for the night. As Hermione approached her bedroom door, Harry called after her.
"Hermione?" he said.
She turned to see him gathering up his shoes and books from in front of the couch.
"Yeah?" she asked him.
"I missed you, too," he said, smiling at her.
She felt as if she could have melted right then and there with those four little words from him. What was happening here? She couldn't help, but wonder.
"Good night, Harry," she said, smiling at him.
"Good night, Hermione," Harry said.