Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I am trying to psych myself up to write an upcoming chapter that with me being a die-hard H/Hr will be very difficult to write. It's all part of the plot, however, and I've opened up the can of worms and I have to deal with it now. I hope you guys won't be too upset with me. I have to do it, but think positively. Don't abandon the ride when I write the turbulence in. Please! Stay with me, people!
Chapter 15
Time After Time
"If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time
After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows - you're wondering
If I'm OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time…"
(Cyndi Lauper, Time After Time)
Hermione's father made it through the bypass surgery. The doctors were optimistically cautious and said that he'd need plenty of bed rest and would need to undergo cardiac rehabilitation. He had a tough couple of months ahead of him.
The last thing Hermione wanted to do was to leave school, but she knew her mother would need her now more than ever. She'd decided as soon as she heard about her father's condition and what his recovery would entail, that she'd take a leave of absence from school. She'd not told Harry this yet. She didn't know how he'd react, but she'd hoped he'd be supportive and understanding. Besides, she wouldn't be gone for too long---just a month or so.
Now, wasn't the time to be thinking about herself and her own needs. It was time to think about her father and mother and what would be best for them. She owed that to them. She wouldn't let them down now.
Her father was still in the recovery room when Professor McGonagall came into the waiting room. At first, Hermione didn't recognize her. She was always dressed in robes and her hair was usually hidden by the long, pointed hat she always wore. As she was in a Muggle hospital, McGonagall had made an effort to blend in somewhat. She wore a pair of jeans and a red cable-knit jumper. Her hair was pulled back into a severe bun. Harry and Hermione both couldn't help gaping at her as she stepped closer to them; recognition and surprise at her arrival hitting them at the same time.
If McGonagall noticed their surprised reactions, she didn't let on. She went immediately to Karen.
"Dr. Granger," McGonagall was saying. "I was so sorry to hear about your husband. We've been thinking about you and your family."
"Thank you, Professor McGonagall," Karen said, shaking her hand. "Thanks so much for allowing Hermione and Harry to be here."
"Of course," McGonagall said. "I wanted to make sure that everything was okay, and to collect Harry."
Harry stood up from his chair and was about to tell McGonagall that he wasn't going anywhere, when Hermione put a hand on his shoulder.
He looked at her, surprised, and saw as she shook her head.
"I'm not leaving you," he said to her. "I'm not leaving you by yourself."
"I won't be alone, Harry," Hermione said. "I'll have my mum and my dad."
"What are you saying?" he asked her.
She took a deep breath.
"Professor McGonagall," she said, looking over Harry's shoulder. "I was wondering if it'd be okay if I took a few weeks off to help my parents."
"Of course," Professor McGonagall said. "I was going to suggest that myself. We could send you your assignments and you could complete them by correspondence."
"Hermione," Karen said. "You don't have to do that. Your father and I will be fine."
"Mum," Hermione said firmly. "I do have to do this. I wouldn't be able to concentrate at school knowing that you two were going through so much at home. I want to do this for you. You'll have to look after dad's patients as well as your own. You're going to need someone to stay with Dad while you're at the office, right? Let me do this. Please."
Hermione stepped past Harry and gave her mother a hug.
"If you're sure," Karen said. "It would be a tremendous help."
"Good," Hermione said. "It's settled then. I'll just go back with Professor McGonagall and Harry and collect my belongings and then come back here straightaway."
"Okay," Karen said. "If that's what you want."
Karen gave her a daughter an appreciative smile. "I should probably go and check with the nurses' station and see about Robert. I'll see you when you get back, then?"
Hermione nodded.
Karen thanked both Professor McGonagall and Harry before walking down the corridor toward the nurses' station.
"How are you holding up, Hermione?" Professor McGonagall asked.
"Okay," Hermione said, with a slight smile.
"Good," Professor McGonagall said, smiling at her. She looked to Harry and motioned for him to come closer.
"I didn't know you even owned a pair of jeans," Harry said, not even thinking.
Professor McGonagall smiled. "I don't. I had to transfigure these out of an old skirt. Sometimes, you have to make do."
*****
They arrived back at Hogwarts a few moments later. McGonagall left them at the entrance to their suite and told Hermione she'd be waiting for her near the front gates when she'd finished packing.
Neither Hermione nor Harry had said a word to each other since they'd left the hospital. Hermione walked toward her room without a word and shut the door softly behind her.
Harry stared at the closed door for a few moments before taking a seat on the sofa. He was knackered, but didn't dare fall asleep. He wanted to talk to Hermione before she left. He didn't understand why she hadn't told him about her plans before springing them on him this morning. Of course, he couldn't blame her. He supposed if the situation were reversed, he'd do the same, but he couldn't help feeling the way he was at the moment. He was human, after all. He didn't want to be here without her. If that was selfish, so be it. He wanted to go with her. He knew that would be out of the question. McGonagall would never go for that in a million years.
Not being able to stand the silence, Harry got up from the sofa and walked over to Hermione's bedroom door. He knocked softly at the door.
"Come in," she said. He opened the door to find her busily stacking jumpers, jeans, shoes and books into her trunk. Crookshanks sat purring on her bed.
He saw that Hermione had changed clothes. She now wore a pair of khaki corduroy trousers and a brown cable-knit sweater. She'd pulled her hair back into a simple, makeshift plait.
"Hey," he said, standing in the doorway.
"Do you think you could look after Crookshanks while I'm gone?" she asked. "I'd ask Ron, but you know he'd probably intentionally leave him in the Forbidden Forest or something like that."
"Yeah, or let Snape use him to test potions," Harry said.
"I figure he'd be safe with you," Hermione said, stuffing some books into her trunk.
"I'll look after him," Harry said, watching her.
"Thanks," she said.
"Hermione?" Harry asked hesitantly, watching as she busily continued to pack her trunk.
"Hmmm?" she answered.
"I'm going to miss you," he said simply.
She stopped packing and turned to see him staring at her. She closed the gap between them in two quick strides and he enveloped her in a warm embrace.
"I'm going to miss you, too," she whispered.
"I can't even imagine being here without you," he said, still holding her.
"I know," she said. "But, you do understand? Don't you?"
"Yeah," he answered, letting her go. "I understand."
She smiled. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For what?" she asked, taking his hand. "For being there for me last night. I really don't know how I would have gotten through any of it without you."
"How many times have you been there for me?" he asked. "I'm just trying to catch up."
She laughed.
"You know that I don't really want to leave," she said honestly. "I wish I didn't have to, but you saw my mum. She needs me, Harry. She and my dad have done so much for me, I really owe them this."
"You don't have to explain it to me," he said, squeezing her hand.
"I know," she said. "I'm trying to explain it to myself."
He felt a pang of guilt at his earlier selfishness. She was right, as always.
"You're doing the right thing," he said.
"I'm worried about you, Harry," she said. "You know you'd be lost without me."
He laughed. "Yes, this is true. Ron, as well. Don't worry about us, though. Worry about Hedwig. She's going to hate me because of all the trips she'll be taking back and forth between here and your house."
"You're actually going to write to me?" she asked.
"Every minute and every second," he said teasingly.
"Now and then would be a start," she said, deadpan.
"Hey," he said, with mock disbelief.
"You're not actually known for your letter writing skills," she said. "You and Ron both! I don't think I've ever received a letter from either of you that was longer than one page."
"This from the girl who composes novels in her letters," Harry joked.
"Yeah, well," she said. "I happen to write very large."
"You happen to write large amounts," he corrected, teasingly.
"Yeah, well," she said, somewhat sheepishly. She sat on the top of her trunk. Harry came and sat down right
beside her.
"I wish I could go with you," he said.
"I know," she said. "McGonagall'd never go for that."
"I know," he said, putting his arm around her.
"I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to him," she said. "Either of them, actually. They're such a part of me."
"Your dad is going to be alright, Hermione," Harry said. "He's come this far."
Hermione nodded. "It was just so scary. I'm always used to seeing my dad as this strong hero, you know? I'm not used to seeing him helpless and-" her voice trailed off.
"I wish I knew what to say to you," he said, taking her in his arms again. "I don't know what to say to make you feel better."
She pulled away from his embrace and looked up at him. "You don't have to say anything. You're being here is all that I need. Sometimes, it's what you don't say that's important."
He nodded.
She leaned in and her lips brushed against his. She pulled back for a moment, before he kissed her again; his arms wrapping around her again, pulling her closer to him.
"Harry," she said, breathlessly. "I should probably get going."
He nodded, not letting go of her, and leaning in to kiss her again.
He finally released her and they both got to their feet. Hermione took her wand out of her pocket and with a quick swish and flick, muttered, "Locomotor trunk!"
"Don't go downstairs with me, Harry," she said. "You should stay up here and get some sleep. I'll be okay."
He wanted to protest, but didn't.
"Okay," he said quietly. "Take care of yourself, Granger."
"You too, Potter," she said, her eyes twinkling. "Look out for Ron, too."
"I will," he promised. "Give my best to your mum and dad."
"Thanks," she said softly. "I guess this is goodbye, then."
He shook his head. "Not goodbye."
"See you later?" she suggested.
"Better," he said. "I love you, Hermione."
"I love you, too," she said. She gave a last look around the bedroom and then walked out into the common room of their suite, her levitated trunk following behind her. Harry closed her bedroom door and watched as she made her way toward the front door.
She gave him one last lingering look before walking through the door and waiting for her trunk to pass through. She closed the door quietly behind her.
With that she was gone.
****
The majority of the rest of Harry's day was spent napping. He awoke a little after seven in the evening and quickly made his way downstairs to catch a late dinner.
To his surprise, the hall wasn't completely full. He knew that a number of students had gone home after the Yule Ball for the Christmas holidays, but he hadn't expected it to be this deserted. He looked around for Ron, but didn't see him.
The only students at the Gryffindor table were Colin and Dennis Creevey and Ginny Weasley. Harry quickly made his way for the table and sat down directly opposite Ginny.
"Harry," Ginny said, looking up at him in surprise. "I thought you were with Hermione."
"I was," he said, helping himself to some beef stew and a roll.
"How's her dad?" Ginny asked concerned.
"He had to have emergency bypass surgery," Harry said. "He made it through that okay, but the doctors are still concerned about him. Hermione's going to take a few weeks off to help her mum out at home."
Ginny stared at him for a moment.
Hermione's going to be away.
She quickly banished the thought from her head. That was a terrible thing to think, she chastised herself.
"Oh," she answered. "Well, it's good that her dad's going to be okay."
Harry nodded.
"So, how are you doing?" he asked, looking at her. "Haven't seen you around much these past few days."
"I've, um, been busy," she said. "I was feeling a little under the weather, but I'm okay now. I've been trying to keep up with my studies, you know. Mum wants me to do really well. I think she's holding out hope that I'll make Head Girl next year."
"She'd be over the moon if you did," Harry concurred.
"Well, I don't know if I'll make it or not," Ginny said. "It's not that important anyway. Sometimes, things happen that make you put other things into perspective, you know? That makes you look at the big picture."
Harry nodded. "I know exactly what you mean."
"Yeah," Ginny said.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" he asked her, concerned. "You look a little pale, Ginny."
"I'm fine, "Ginny lied. "I've just had some sort of stomach bug, really. Madame Pomfrey gave me something for it. I'll be okay."
"Okay," Harry said, giving her a smile. "If you need anything, Gin. Let me know."
She nodded. "Thanks, Harry. I'll be fine."
He resumed eating and Ginny sat there, trying to watch him out of the corner of her eye. She could still remember how only a few short years ago; she'd had such a crush on him. She'd thought the sun rose and set around him. Those feelings had died long ago. She'd honestly only seen him as a friend these past couple of years, but as she looked at him now, she could see herself married to him and raising her child. She'd always thought that he'd make a great father someday.
My baby deserves a good father.
Ginny knew she'd messed up her own life something awful, but didn't she owe it to her baby to provide a loving, supportive and caring household? She'd never have that with Draco Malfoy. She knew that now. Yet, she could have that with Harry. Sure, Hermione would be hurt, but she'd get over it in time, Ginny thought. This was really the only viable alternative, Ginny thought. With time, Hermione would forgive and forget. With time, Ginny could learn to love Harry and he would come to love her and the baby.
With Hermione out of the picture, this would be the perfect opportunity.
Ginny looked at Harry who was now engaged in conversation with the Creevey brothers. He was trying to be polite, but Ginny knew that he wanted to be left alone.
It was then that Ginny resolved that she had no other choice. This was what she had to do. She wondered if she'd be able to live with herself if she went through with it. There wasn't time to think about it, however. The consequences would come later and she'd deal with them at that time. Now, she had to act. She had to before it was too late.
Merlin, forgive me for what I'm about to do.