Unofficial Portkey Archive

AN- I had a huge debate going in my head about what to title this. It was between `Giving In', because of what Lily says about James, or `Blood Is Thicker Than Water', because of what Sirius says to his parents. You decide what I should've titled it. Let me know what you think. I know it's been a while, but like I said, I'm still working on that other fic. Let me know what you think, please. Anyways, I'm not really sure what to say, except that I'm going on vacation soon, and I'm not too sure when my next update will be. Oh, and my computer broke. Yes, that's my excuse for the week. Anyways, here it goes.

I owe an apology to Sweetkiwi456; I meant to wait for you, but I have something coming up, so it was now, or a few weeks from now. So I really am sorry, and I'll write to you later. SORRY!!!!

Remus-

"I'll leave you alone if you leave me alone!"

"You're acting so childish about all of this!" I shouted back, ignoring the looks I was receiving. Michelle turned redder in the face, if it were possible.

"I'm being immature? I'M BEING IMMATURE! I'm not the one putting my friends in danger every-"

"That wasn't my fault or my decision, that was their own! And what would you honestly have done in my shoes?" Michelle paused at this comment. I took the pause as permission to continue. Maybe I was finally reaching her. "You may not have liked my decision, but ignoring me wont change it! It doesn't change anything that happened!"

"None of it should have happened!"

"If you had known, would you have gone near me?"

"NO!"

"My point has been made." Score one for Remus. Michelle stormed out of the common room, fuming, as I flopped down on one of the couches. Everyone in the common room was watching in amazement. Michelle and I had been Hogwarts' golden couple all year, but she had been going out of her way to ignore me lately, and it was getting on my nerves. It had only been two days since…the incident, but she as acting so stuffy about it, I would've done anything to get to her.

"Nice, Moony." Sirius said, coming down the stairs. He was still stifling a yawn, and I couldn't blame him. Thankfully, many of the teachers had been needed this morning, because of the war, and all morning classes had been called off. We needed to study for the NEWTs and James and Lily hadn't returned from their date until about one. James hadn't stopped talking about Lily and the night out until at least three, and at that point, he only stopped because Sirius threatened to tell Lily about the ridiculous love poems he hid under his bed.

Then, I had woken up to this, thinking over and over, `somebody just shoot me.' rather muggle term, I know, but it fit the occasion perfectly.

As soon as everyone had gotten over the fact that Michelle and I were no longer a couple (By getting over, I mean they were no longer staring. The gossiping continued, but the staring and silence decreased to occasional looks of sympathy and pity and whisperings instead of shocked silence.) Lily came flouncing down the stairs and into James's arms.

The room fell into shock. Pure shock. And me? I felt sick to my stomach. If this was how they were going to be after one day of going out, how would they survive their classes without one another?

So anyways, the room was once again silent, and Lily was looking around in concern at everyone, who was staring, when Sirius said, "So, who wants breakfast?" there as a murmur of general agreement as James lead Lily by the hand out of the common room and into the Great Hall.

Most of the students had slept in, as Dumbledore had turned off any alarms used to wake up the houses, and so most everyone was awake and eating by the time we got down there. The Head table was all but deserted, with only three teachers there to watch us, and Dumbledore gone. Had he been there, he would've lit up to see James and Lily walking in holding hands.

Fine, I was a little bitter about the relationship. I wasn't about to show it, I'd been good at hiding my secrets, as I had to be to keep what I was from my friends for a year. It might have been because the full moon temper I always got had yet to wear off, or because Michelle was avoiding me, but for some reason, I wanted to hit something.

Hard.

"So, Sirius…" James drifted off into an uncomfortable silence, probably remembering his friend's words last night. After James had left with Lily last night, Sirius had disappeared, but he had come back hours later looking highly satisfied with himself. Sirius's eyes were now lit up, meaning that he had an idea, which was likely to end with someone being hurt, someone being embarrassed, or unavoidable chaos, if not all of the above.

And somehow I would be dragged into all of it. Sure enough, a letter arrived for Sirius and myself with the post.

Mr. Lupin;

My office during first block. Password; orange toffees.

I knew exactly who the letter was from. There was only one person in the school who would create a password such as `orange toffees.' But I wasn't sure at the moment what Dumbledore wanted, or what I was getting myself into, so I set the letter aside.

Just in time to see Sirius pale slightly as a large black owl flew his way. It didn't have a black enveloped letter tied to its leg, however, as the ministry death owls did. This letter was on plain parchment, with a plain white envelope and a wax seal. And as I looked across the room, I saw that Sirius's brother, Regulus, was receiving a similar letter, but looking satisfied, even smug, at untying it.

Sirius read through it once, and then seemed to just stare at it in shock. I knew better than to try to take the letter from him; I recognized the owl. But it hadn't come to Sirius since…third year? Fourth year?

The Black family owl.

Sirius-

Sirius~

You were my firstborn child, and my pride and joy until your first year in Hogwarts. You know that we loved you, and only disowned you for your foolishness towards the Dark Lord and his high goals.

But your father seems to still believe that Black blood will pull through, and in the end you will realize your foolishness before it's too late. So we are willing to give you a second chance. The Dark Lord has offered you and your brother a place in his ranks, and we have agreed to pass this offer along.

It is an opportunity not to be missed Sirius. Should you choose to agree, you will be welcomed back with open arms.

Remember, son. Blood is thicker than water.

Blood is thicker than water? Of all the things she could've said…

Let's review. First she insults me, and insists I'm no son of hers if I'm a Gryffindor. Then she spends years not talking to me, and insisting that I not return to her house over the summer, so I resorted to James and Remus giving me a home for vacations. Then, one year, she tells me to return home, only so she can disown me. Now, she wants me to come back and act like one of them?

But this year I had realized a lot of things. James had lost his mother, who had become a mother to me since my own had kicked me out in third or second year, through a letter of all things. He hadn't had the option of coming back to her, she'd been taken away.

And she had left my best friend heartbroken. Would I really feel the same if my mother died? I mean, I may have been a little letdown at it, but she was only my birthmother. The only relation I'd ever had to her was blood.

She gave birth to me.

She kicked me out.

She offered me a home for years.

She couldn't accept me for what I was, what I believed in. And that was the end of that argument. I put the letter in my pocket, and opened the one from Dumbleydore. Yes, I too have a nickname for our old friend. Years of trips up to his office had taught us that formality was wasted on him.

Mr. Black,

After our…conversation yesterday, I have carefully considered your words and decided to comply with your request. Accompany Mr. Lupin to my office during first block he knows the password.

I smiled, reading the note and remembering the `conversation' Dumbleydore was referring to. After James had left yesterday with Lily, I had decided to ask the Headmaster for permission to join the Order.

He hadn't been very understanding about why I wanted to join, insisting I needed my parent's permission, something that he knew I'd never get. But I hadn't caved easily, and while I hadn't broken anything except the old professor's determination, I'd gotten my message across. Remus and I wanted to join the Order.

I knew Peter wouldn't want to. He'd always wanted to stay safe, and the fact was he'd never get his mother to agree with it, because she was too protective of him. Remus, I knew, could reason with his parents, and me? Well, that was why I had been yelling yesterday.

Satisfied with the way things were working out between me and the Order, I went on to eat breakfast, oblivious to the fact Remus and James had been trying to get my attention since I had opened my parent's letter.

"PADFOOT!" I think I jumped about a foot high before landing back on the wooden bench.

"Ouch. You know, this thing is wooden. I think I have splinters up my arse now!"

Unfortunately for me, McGonagall was standing over us with a very stern look on her face. But instead of telling me off for my tongue, (you'd think by now she'd have given up; I know I would've,) she simply said, "The Headmaster would like to see you and Mr. Lupin." I looked down at my barely-eaten breakfast. Well, so much for food.

Lily-

"They're staring again."

"I know." Poor James. I mean, a year ago I would've thought that he'd deserved it for something or another he had done, but now he acted like he really didn't like all of this attention. His eyes were turned down, his face red. I think he used to like it, really, but with everything that had been going around about him, his father, and me, we both knew the stares weren't because of his looks or the latest quidditch game.

Time for a change of topic. "Where do you think Remus and Sirius have gotten to?" James smiled at this, the same cocky smile I was used to, and ran his hand through his hair, still coyly grinning. But there was a tired air around him, reminding me again of how much had changed this year.

"It's not where they've gotten to, but rather what Sirius has gotten Remus into. Poor guy's too gullible; he'll let us drag him into anything." Yes, that sounded like Remus. Quiet, shy, and desperate to fit in. But now that I knew his secret, now that I thought about Michelle's reaction, I understood why. He must not feel accepted that often, really, because he's always so different from others.

Right now, however, Remus and Sirius weren't here, and Peter, seeming to sense what I was thinking, left. It only took a minute for James to wrap his arms around me comfortingly. "We didn't want it to be a secret." He murmured next to my ear. At least he wasn't whispering.

"I know. But I didn't expect that kind of a reaction. I mean, I never thought about it before, but it's almost like I was giving in." James had a familiar smell about him by now. Fresh air, breakfast, and a smell that was…James.

Wait…since when had I started to smell James? "Is giving in really a bad thing?"

Oh, yeah. Since he had started to say things like that rather than `go on, go out with me, Evans.' Damn. I think his voice cracked when he said it, too.

"That was so corny." Damn voice. Mine had just cracked too. He kissed my forehead lightly. Tease.

"I know. That's why I said it." Soon we were kissing, something I guess was bound to happen when you leave the two of us alone in a deserted corridor. Would this always be like this? No, because I wouldn't always be dating him. One day, he'd cheat on me like he had all of those other girls…

What other girls? Sure, he'd had dates, but keeping a girl past date one, or asking her to be his girlfriend? He hadn't done it. And he'd claimed to me before that it was because he wanted me to know he was always open, and hadn't given up yet.

Yes, I'd diffidently given in. But giving isn't always a bad thing.

Remus-

I wasn't sure what to expect when I entered Dumbledore's office. Maybe a detention, or a scolding, or an interview on how James was doing, as had become common over the last year. Whether Dumbledore will admit it or not, he has a soft spot for our Prongs. I would even go so far as to say he has a soft spot for all of the Marauders. It was a well-known fact Dumbledore let us get away with nearly anything, the only way we got through school with a few detentions and a suspension on Sirius's behalf, after he nearly got Snivellus killed while revealing my secret last year. (Apparently, he spent his suspension in a room in the Leaky Caldron when his family refused to house him.)

Anyways, the point of this speech was, I wasn't expecting my parents. And my reaction to seeing them in the Headmaster's office? "Whatever it was, I assure you I had nothing to do with it! Really, Sirius and maybe James did this one by themselves." At the time I was wondering what Sirius could've come up with that had gotten my parents involved, along with thinking of how many ways I could kill Sirius, and how many ways I would kill Sirius.

But my mother just gave me a questioning look, while my father shook his head. "This has nothing to do with pranks, does it Headmaster?" from the sound of the question, he didn't know any more than I did. Yah! Maybe in this one I could save myself!

"No," Came Dumbledore's serine voice. "No, what we're about to discuss is no laughing matter." Sirius had settled down in one of the chairs on the other side of Dumbledore's desk, the one he called his favorite. Ironically, there were always four chairs in his office, even if only two or three were being used. James often joking it was so that the office could be prepared for when they had gotten in trouble and had to wait for the Headmaster.

Anyways, I took my `favorite' seat, while my mother sat next to me, looking fearful. My father didn't sit, just paced. "It may or may not have come to your attention that James Potter has recently joined with the Order of the Phoenix." He began. Thankfully, my parents are very up to date, and while they hadn't known that James had joined, (how could they have, I had only been informed last night?) they were at least aware of the Order's presence, and what the Order did.

"James?" My mum gasped, looking horrified. She had heard from me at Christmas how he was dealing with his mother's death, and while she didn't know him too well, he had visited a few times during certain summers.

"Indeed. His mother gave him permission, and he agreed. But Mr. Black here wasn't satisfied with the fact that James had permission to join the Order and he didn't. He and I have had a rather trying discussion and come to the decision that anyone aware of the Order and in danger already should be given the opportunity."

"Why are you coming to me first?" I asked, breathless. I didn't want to think about the offer yet, and what the consequences would be from my decision. It put on to much pressure. For now, I'd have to push it into the back of my mind.

Dumbledore gave Sirius a stern look over his half-moon glasses, and I realized that this discussion had been a loud and possible violent one when Padfoot began to look sheepish. Damn dog.

" I've already had this discussion with Mr. Black. Your friend didn't want you to be left out." he replied, just as sternly, but there was a twinkle in his eyes.

"Padfoot…" I groaned. Sirius smiled in my direction.

"Mr. Lupin, I believe Mr. Black only wanted to help you this time. It is in such times we will need such strong bonds." The headmaster stood and looked at my parents in turn. They seemed to squirm in their skin, and I understood the feeling. Even now, my parents felt like children again under his gaze. Anyone fixed with that stare, even if they weren't a student from before, would feel little again. "Please discuss this with your family, and use the rest of the morning to do so. When you wish to answer, check the paper in your pocket, the letter I sent you. The password will be printed on it for you, as I will have to change it now that Mr. Black, prankster of Hogwarts, knows how to get easy access to my office and quarters. Please take your time on this decision, you know fairly well how it could affect you."

We took this as a dismissal, and left. In the hallway, there was an awkward silence. "Sirius, what about Peter?"

"What, with Mrs. Pettigrew?" Yikes. Yeah, he had a point. I'm surprised she let Peter into Hogwarts, though I can't really blame her for being careful. Peter was more than a little clumsy.

Sirius made a quick exit, knowing very well that a full interrogation was about to follow, and not wanting to be any part of it. He was already on bad terms with my family and had been since last year, when he had almost lost me my secret and another's life. Oh, and the fact that he had openly insulted my dad in second year when he noticed that my father was unsure of me didn't help their opinion.

Sure enough, here came the questions. "How's Michelle going," "How's James doing," and all others I answered them the best I could, only half in it, and somewhat dazed, thinking about what responsibility I would have if I accepted.

Finally, they asked me things about my decision. The first was, "What would you be doing?"

"From what James said, just little things. Writing, behind the scenes work, maybe…helping with cleaning up. But mostly, it's just us attending the meetings, and giving input and opinions."

"So would you be at risk?" Of course, that came from mum.

"Mum, I already am. I'm a werewolf remember? And I'm James's best friend, aside from Sirius, I don't plan to change that because I'm at risk, and I openly oppose Voldemort. This just means that I have a way to fight back now, and more people behind me." The more I thought about it, the more my anger towards Sirius died down, to make way for understanding. He really was helping, and he knew it.

"Is this…" My dad has never been sure around me, or at least, not since I was bitten. But I was used to it, and gave him time to watch me carefully. "Is this what you want?"

I hesitated only a moment. I was risking my life, but it was with my friends. If this was how I was to die, I couldn't think of a more honorable way to than next to Sirius, James and Peter, who were my family. My brothers. "Yes."

Sirius-

I think this was the third time I was rereading the letter from my pocket. It was lunch, and I still didn't know what I would do. I had been so positive I was out of my family's life for good, but now they were offering to let me back in.

Regulus had been calling me over, during lunch, and I came over to him. I knew what he wanted. "Hey, Siri." It was the name he'd called me as a kid, but I hadn't heard it in years. It had what was probably the desired effect. I chocked up. "Are you going to?"

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. "I don't know."

"You actually aren't agreeing yet? I mean, it's the most powerful force, and with such a good cause. Mudbloods are the wizard's filth." I felt a fury shake within me when I heard someone like my brother insulting someone like Lily.

He was wrong. People like him, people who couldn't see past purity, were the wizard's filth. Just because Snape could trace his bloodlines, didn't give him my good hair. And Lily wasn't any less kind or fiery or brave because she had traces of non-magic blood in her. He was wrong.

And so was mother, and I told her so the next morning, on the paper she had written my letter on before, right under that last line that read `Blood is thicker than water.' It was just one line, a few words, really, but I felt proud of myself all the same for my reply.

Not always.

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