AN- Sorry this took so long. School starts soon, and I've been busy. Oh, and our computer needed to be reformatted. But anyways, here it goes. You'll get a kick out of this one. But I wasn't too sure what to title it again. I ended up with ` The Different Levels of Fear,' because the whole thing is about different kinds of fear. Not fear of danger, but fear of other things, whether it's change, or girls, or meeting the parents. So I was debating between this and `Meet the Parents', but I really like writing about Sirius and Remus too, and the whole thing isn't about meeting Lily's parents. Tell me what you think!
This one is dedicated to Hahahahahaha anonymous.
James-
"Not Fair." I said, or, that was what I meant to say. It came out, much to my embarrassment, like a squeak. Or a squawk, in a higher pitch. It didn't sound like my normal voice, which was enough to get Lily giggling.
"Not much in life is." She replied. "What's the matter, though? Stage fright?"
"Alright, so I shouldn't have laughed at you. I get it. But really, I mean, I have a dead mother and a drunk father. But your parents-"
"Will want to meet you, and know the man I've come to love. As will my sister. Besides, they're expecting me home anyways."
We were walking absently around the grounds on our last day at Hogwarts. It was only a half-a-day. A half-a-day until I left `home', as it had become, forever. I glanced into the forest, where Sirius, Remus, Peter and I had had our first real transformation together, our first real adventure.
Lily turned to see what I was staring at. Both of us were silent when she said, "And besides, where else do you plan to go?"
I wasn't going to Auror Academy, that was for sure. I mean, it had been offered. But after what I had seen, it wouldn't be something I'd look into. And I couldn't really stay with the Order. I wasn't in very deep yet.
Where else did I really have to go?
Besides, Lily was giving me that pleading look, and you almost could never say no to that face. At least, I couldn't. She could clean my wallet out come Christmas with that look. "Fine."
Lily squealed, hugged me around the shoulders, and jumped up and down in her excitement before saying, "So you'll be meeting them tonight."
"Tonight!"
"Yeah. They're coming to pick me up at the Hogwarts Express."
"But you're of age!" I protested. "And I'm of age. We can just find somewhere to stay until we can apperate there tomorrow!"
"Yes, but because of the chaos at the ministry, they can't really afford to be taking young witches and testing them for their apparating licenses. Besides, they always pick me up. Tradition!" She was becoming more and more excited at the thought of me meeting her family, and I couldn't protest.
I really am dead come Christmas time.
Remus-
"Are you sure you don't mind me moving in with you, Peter and James? Just until I can figure out what is going on between me and Michelle?" I asked. "Because I really could rent another apartment."
Sirius gave me a look that said to stop asking, so I did. He and I were packing, about to leave behind our childhood forever. Or, we were supposed to be. Padfoot was too busy staring out the window.
"Padfoot?" I asked, annoyed that he had only taken a moment to look in my direction. He looked my way again, then saw my look, the one I had to give him every time he couldn't focus on the homework, and went back to packing.
Satisfied, I went back to trying to fit a large amount of sweaters into a small amount of space. The trunk's lid, unfortunately, shook with the box, and came back down all the way on my fingers.
After yelping I went on to rub my hand. Padfoot spared me a distracted glance before going back to staring out the window to the grounds. Finally fed up with the neglect, I asked, "What is so bloody interesting out there?"
"Hm?" Sirius asked, looking away and going back to packing.
"No, Sirius, you aren't getting away with it this time." I replied, making my way towards the window. Sirius abruptly tried to pull the curtains shut. Determined, I opened them. When he shut them again, it was so forceful a tug that the hangings fell.
Only to reveal James and Lily talking. And walking. Just that. No kissing, no snogging. Lily was sort of leaning on him, and both were walking slowly, but it wasn't really anything new, or anything to look at.
"What did you find so interesting about this?" I asked.
"Nothing. I was just remembering all that's happened out there." He replied, packing his things again.
"Liar." I replied, annoyed. He wouldn't meet my eyes, and I could tell he was, `blinking too much'. Sirius had always said that blinking too much meant you were lying.
Sirius sighed and abandoned his task a third time, looking out the window.
"Is that how you and Michelle usually are?" He asked suddenly, still not meeting my eyes. "Walking in sync, laughing, her hanging on you?"
"Yeah." I answered. "Pretty much. Why?"
"He should be with the Marauders on our last day instead of with her." He replied sullenly, not answering my question.
"Oh, please, Padfoot. You were one of the many reasons they got together. Now is not the time for jealousy." Sirius sank into his four-poster, and I sank down next to him. "What's really wrong?"
"I was just thinking…" He drifted off. "How come you and Michelle are so…"
"So what?"
"So… I mean, you haven't gotten rid of her. You really like her. You talk to her about real things, stuff you'd usually only come to the Marauders about, and eve stuff you don't tell us about. And James couldn't talk around Lily at first. He acted like such an idiot in front of her…"
"So?" I asked.
"So…I mean, girls do that for me, but so far I haven't really found a girl to do that for." He replied. Smiling a bit, he added, "I mean, I know I'm good, but there has to be someone good enough or me."
Rolling my eyes at the mock attempt at being cocky, I said, "You don't stutter on purpose…it just happens. And one day it will happen to you, and you'll regret ever wishing that it did, because you'll be so embarrassed. And you'll be afraid that she won't like you, or afraid that you look ridiculous-"
"I could never look ridiculous, and even I know that." Sirius cut in indignantly.
"Right. Just keep telling yourself that. And I'll be there to laugh at you when you do find such a girl. Now finish packing."
Sirius did as he was told, saying, "So did you find a job that would accept you yet?"
"No." I replied, almost hurt by his blunt way of saying it. But that was Sirius for you. Blunt, shallow, and annoying, most of the time. "None of the jobs under the ministry accept werewolves. I'll have to find a private business, and convince them to take me."
"Isn't the Leaky Cauldron a privately owned business?" he asked his eyes on his task.
"No. It can't be, because it has the entrance to Diagon Alley in the back of it, and that's Ministry-owned. I'll find somewhere though." Here, Peter came in and start packing, with James. The conversation stopped, and moved on to funnier things, like pranks to remember and `common mistakes' that every prank maker would had to have made in order to achieve perfection.
"Remember that time we followed that passageway behind that portrait of Davis the Dimwitted to avoid McGonagall-"
"And ended up in the girl's washrooms? How could I forget? The look on your face, Padfoot…"
"See, he has that look again!"
"Those were Seventh years, and we were only first years… well, I guess some things will never change. But how did we manage to work our way out of that one, after the tunnel we had used to get there had caved in?"
"Well, we asked where the little boys room was, and that pretty Catharine showed us, and Sirius did that puppy-look, but then-"
Well, we would work our way out of this, we always did. And we'd get through the change together.
James-
There are several different levels of fear. There is a slight unease, a panic, heart-stopping terror, and then there was this.
This, an emotion beyond words…yeah, that was the kind of fear I was feeling right now. It was a gut wrenching, unbelievable, horrifying…
Yes. This confirms it. I was indeed panicking, and fairly badly. I loved Lily. I knew now that I did, but it wasn't about that right now. Right now was about convincing her family I could take care of her, even though I didn't have a job, or any job in mind, or a home that didn't belong to family. Even though in some people's opinion, I couldn't even take care of myself.
But her parents were nice enough. They welcomed me, and her dad smiled at me, and they agreed right away to let me come home with them for a bit. He helped me load the luggage, and we all packed into the car, and suffered the long drive with Lily telling them everything about the war, and how I was involved, and what had happened at Graduation, and everything else. I just sort of sat there, terrified of what would happen when the questions began.
Eventually we were there, at an ordinary-enough looking house, and I was unloading the luggage again. I carried my stuff up to the spare guestroom, and unpacked, stills silent.
I stayed in my room, too. Even after the unpacking, I just sort of stayed there, sitting on the bed and thinking until Lily came in and announced that dinner was ready.
This was what I had been dreading. Dinner. The ideal time for questioning.
It ended up pretty funny, though, to be honest. The first comical thing I could name was sitting at the coffee table in the sitting room.
At first I though it was an elephant. A red-ish, small-eared, elephant. Or a hippo. A hippo would be more appropriate. But an elephant really is what first came to mind. It was a he really, with crazy looking, budgie eyes, and bushy eyebrows, and…well, did I mention that this guy was fat? I mean, fat.
There wasn't any other word for it. I don't have anything against fat people, I really don't. Peter isn't too thin himself. It's their body to do with, as they like.
But this guy really was just so…fat; he took up a good amount of the table.
Lily and I both walked in, and then stopped at the edge of the room, gaping. He was talking to Lily's parents and holding a bony-lady's hand in his own…fat one. Both Mr. and Mrs. Evans seemed pretty uncomfortable, and looked at us with gratitude when we walked in.
Lily, always polite, managed to regain some sense and asked, "Who is this, Petunia?" Petunia. So this was her sister, this bony woman.
Well, I could almost see the resemblance. She had Lily's high-cheek bones, but her skin was so drawn, it made her face seem skeletal. Her hair was light, like the rest of the Evans, and she had the pale completion.
Otherwise, this woman wasn't nearly so pretty.
"This is Vernon. We met at the restaurant I work at, and we've been dating a little over a year. And he's my fiancé." Petunia replied, briskly. Remembering the stories I had heard about Petunia and what she thought about our kind, I felt an instant dislike towards her. "And who is that?"
Lily drew herself up to full height, but as she was petite this wasn't really intimidating. However, her green eyes flashed, and that was enough to quiet her sister. "This is James Potter."
"James Potter? That annoying, horrible, obnoxious, immature boy you rant on and on about every summer?" Her sister asked, ignoring the look of rage on Lily's face. Bad move. I would know.
"No. James Potter, the man I've been seriously dating for over a few months." She replied with cold rage. Hearing her say that, though, installed both a warm feeling and a sense of panic. What did she mean seriously? What did her parents think she meant? What if they got the wrong impression? Or if-
But no. Both of them were smiling at me, apologetically, and Mrs. Evans was saying, "Why don't we go have dinner? Lily, dear, I believe you left it going without watching it. It may have boiled over."
"Oh, no, mom." Lily replied, a glint in her eye. "I've made sure that it doesn't boil over. I've put a-"
"She's taken it off of the stove. Right Lily?" Petunia butted in, sending Lily a warning look and appearing panicked. So Lily's sister hadn't told her boyfriend yet about our `abnormality.' Well, that would have to change.
Lily looked like she agreed, because she was about to say something about spelling dinner, but I cut in with, "Yeah, I'm hungry. Dinner sounds good."
Both of the Evans sent me grateful looks again, and Lily pouted. "But James…" She whispered as we walked into the kitchen.
"I know, he deserves it. And she sure as hell deserves it. But not yet. We wait for the opportune moment." I smiled maliciously. Yes, tonight would be interesting.
Remus-
"Let lightning strike me if I ever do this with Padfoot again." I said, sipping on my drink. Both Peter and I were sitting at the bar, enjoying a drink, and watching Sirius flirt with nearly every girl within a five-foot radius.
"Yeah, I know." Peter replied. "I don't know how we were talked into coming. All we have unloaded is our beds, and tonight we'll want to sleep when we get back. We should've unpacked."
Both of us had been talked into coming by Sirius, who had insisted we enjoy our first night of freedom. I would be seeing my parents tomorrow, and Peter would be visiting his mother, so Sirius would be left at our new apartment unpacking. So he had somehow guilted us into coming.
"So, do you think very much will change? Now that we aren't all staying together, I mean?" Peter asked.
"Not really. James is going to be staying with us after he finishes up with Lily's parents. All of us are crammed into one tiny apartment. It'll be just like a dorm room, with less room. And someone will have to cook. But I mean, I think we'll see each other once a day, anyways. It's just like jobs we have separately instead of classes we have together."
"And being fired instead of detention." Peter finished. I smiled at him, agreeing silently.
I had always liked Peter. He was small, and kind of quiet, like me, and had a blunt way of saying what he meant. He had never, to my knowledge, hurt anyone, though he had liked to see people teased, perhaps because of how often he was teased. But I hadn't been paying him much attention lately, with Michelle and leaving school and everything.
"What've you been up to?" I asked, sipping the drink again.
"Nothing, really." He squeaked. Then again, he is a little like his animal form. "I mean, I barely graduated. I was working on my grades most of the year."
"You could've come to me." I said, bothered that he hadn't. I felt a little like I had let him down. As a Marauder, I was always the one to help with exams, and homework, and essays.
"No. You're too smart."
"Well, you could've gone to Prongs." I added, feeling a little hurt at his last comment. Was it even possible to be too smart? Peter looked thoughtful, and I added, "I mean, I know he can act stupid, but all four of us know he's smart."
"I know. But he didn't seem to have time, after his mother's death, and Lily… and Sirius wouldn't have helped me, you know that." I did know that. I wouldn't have even suggested it. Sirius wasn't good for helping people who were worse at something than him. His ego was big enough; he didn't need people coming to him to improve it. Besides, he had trouble explaining the material in a sensible way, and trouble paying attention to the topic at hand, and trouble with…
Well, he had a lot of trouble with all of it. In fact, sometimes I think Padfoot got through school on luck.
"How're things with you and Cindy?" I asked, thinking back to who his new girlfriend was.
"We broke up." He replied easily. "We didn't want to be serious with the long-distance relationship, and she still has a year of school to go through. It wouldn't have worked."
"Ah."
Neither of us really knew what to say after that. I mean, Peter and I were friends, but neither of us really had had much of a chance to talk, and things just seemed awkward.
Instead we watched as Sirius started talking to another girl. Her strange, strawberry blond hair caught the lights and her outfit was casual, like she hadn't been planning on coming here, and this was just where she had ended up. She seemed calm, and was standing on her own in the corner. She was so collected, and easy-going, and seemed the exact opposite of Sirius.
And Sirius, it was clear, was stuttering.
Smiling, I walked over to introduce myself. Maybe I would have to do this more often. It would be worth it to see Sirius Black lose his charm.
Lily-
Conversation dragged on at dinner that night, and I watched as James went from extremely uptight to easy-going and charming. I could tell even my sister had to love him. He was just too…funny. To sweet, too charming.
Mom had once said to kill James with kindness, and so I had tried it last year. I had tried being nice to him to get him to stop being cruel to other people. And most of the year, I had been able to keep it in mind, and not snap at him. I had even given him a chance, and not fought him on going on that first date.
And because I had tried being nice, I had ended up here. With James. And ridiculously, head-over-heels, in love.
It was quite odd, the sudden realization that I was in love. I wouldn't tell him yet, of course. I didn't want to scare him away, and he had seemed scared earlier, just by my saying that we were serious. But it was like something just hit me, and I had to stand still for a minute to thin about it.
Now it's the little things about him that get to me, ad I don't mean annoy me. The way he runs his hands through his hair when he's nervous or frustrated, the way he always has to push his silver-wire glasses up his nose, the way his smile's crooked… you get the picture, don't you?
He even charmed Vernon into a conversation about his new job. And Mum and Dad were wrapped around his finger.
After dinner, James offered to get the plates. I volunteered too, walking out of the dining room and into the separate kitchen, knowing exactly what he wanted, and wasn't surprised when he was waiting for me in the kitchen.
"He's so…fat." James said, a look of mock-awe on his face. I snorted at the look, and found myself quietly laughing.
"Yes, he's very big. I know. But what are you doing being so…nice?" I asked. I didn't know how he could even handle it, let alone why he was doing it.
"I had to lull him into a false sense of security."
"So that's how you got away with not being blamed with all of those pranks in first year? I was wondering why you didn't prank for so long." I replied, stunned. They had made us all think we were safe, and then sprung a big one.
"Yup!" James seemed so amused; I wasn't about to stop him. "So how am I doing?" He asked, sneaking a peek out at my family.
"Wonderfully." I replied, giving him a quick kiss. "Now hurry up, before they suspect us of doing anything more than talking."
"But we were doing more than talking." I gave him a look, and he explained, "We were plotting."
AN- But what were they plotting, and who is Sirius's mystery girl? ;) Please review for me to continue!
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