Unofficial Portkey Archive

SGR's Note: This chapter breaks into R terrritory, be warned

One more point of interest: there actually is a Håkan Wilhemmson. He's an underwear model in the Swedish Magazine Solo, in the July 2004 issue. Many thanks to Tove for bringing that entertaining magazine all the way from Sweden.

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And there's a name for what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me."
-The Ghost of You and Me, BBMak

Chapter Nineteen

All in all, Lily thought it had been a very odd week.

It had all started when this blonde man with a perfect white smile had walked into her life. She wasn't expecting to find such a...whatever he was...in such a short period of time. She wasn't sure if she fancied him or not, nor was she used to fancying someone at first site.

However, seeing the look on James face when she walked by with him was enough for her to go along with it willingly.

He was the complete polar opposite of James. Where James was crude and uncultured, Håkan was the epitome of class. He had taken her to see a play the night before, something, if Lily had suggested it, James would have fallen asleep during. Håkan had also taken her to some art museums, and had been very knowledgeable on most pieces. James probably would have whined about how boring it was and made crude comments about the paintings with the naked women in them.

Then again, Håkan didn't have the ability to make her laugh the way James did...but enough about that.

She made sure that James knew that they were going to one of the fancier restaurants, and that they were going on an honest to goodness date. She was satisfied to see him find out (through Remus) and watch him flip out. It was amusing, to say the least.

Needless to say, she hadn't been surprised when James had shown up at her door about fifteen minutes before Håkan was scheduled to pick her up. In fact, the entire day, she had been waiting for him to show up and protest the entire thing.

What she wasn't expecting was what he said.

She opened the door, expecting it to be Håkan, and resisted the urge to smirk knowingly when she saw who it was.

"Hi," she said, leaning against the door.

"You look nice," James said, quietly. "New robe?"

Lily nodded. "Håkan took me shopping yesterday."

"Oh," James muttered. "C-Can I come in?"

As much as Lily didn't want to let him, she opened the door wider and allowed him entry. He took a moment to look around her flat and gave her an approving smile. He noticed most of the stuff in here was once in his own barren flat, but he made no mention of it.

"Yes?" Lily asked, impatiently.

"Let's sit down," James said.

"Tell me why you're here."

"We need to talk about...us..." James said, sitting down on a sofa that once belonged to him.

"I was under the impression that there was nothing to talk about," Lily said, looking down at her hands.

"I think...that we need some closure-"

"James, I'm dating other people, I don't-what?!" Lily blinked. "Closure?!"

"Yes," James nodded.

Lily sunk down into her seat. "Closure, James? As in, you admit that we're over?"

"Even I've got to admit that it would be pointless for me to be jealous over every guy that you happen to date..." James sighed. "So...I just want to end it, completely."

"James.... I.... that's very mature of you," Lily smiled. "Did you just think of this or-"

"I've been thinking all week...if we really are over, why am I so jealous?"

Lily chuckled a little.

"And I just need to break the habit of...well...loving you I guess."

Lily nodded. "If we really aren't made for each other."

"Yes," James said. "So...I want you to have fun tonight," he smiled, half-heartedly. "And take a coat when you go to Sweden."

Lily laughed, sadly. "I'm not going to Sweden."

There was a knock at the door.

"That's Håkan," Lily said, quietly.

"I'll go then."

"Right," Lily said, standing up at the same time he did. They stood there for a minute, staring at each other, and then James leaned in to gently kiss her on the cheek, chastely, and at the same time, aching.

"Bye," he whispered.

"Bye," she whispered back. With a pop, he Disapparated. Lily took a few seconds to compose herself after that oddly emotional encounter, and then walked to the door to answer it, because the knocking had become more impatient.

"I was afraid you weren't here," Håkan smiled, extending the bouquet of flowers in his hand towards her.

"I'm here, I was just...taking care of some business," she smiled. "So, shall we?"

"Yes, of course," he took her arm in his.

Maybe James was feeling closure from their little talk, but it had sent spirals of thoughts through Lily's mind throughout the date. Håkan kept asking what was the matter, because their conversations, usually so animated and lively, had regressed into one-sided questions with one- word answers from Lily.

Of course, when Håkan asked "So, tell me, what's on your mind tonight?"

Lily answered, "Yes." Then he knew something was up.

"Lily," he reached across the table to take her hand in his. "Something's troubling you, isn't it?"

"N-No..." Lily shook her head, squeezing his hand. "Just....lots of thoughts tonight."

"Thoughts? Thoughts about what?" he asked, turning over her hand to draw patterns on it.

"Just...thoughts," Lily resisted the urge to remove her hand. She had been fine with him for the past week, why was she now becoming more averse to him? Her and James had agreed to a closure, not to rekindle the dead flame.

As difficult as it was to tear her thoughts away from her past, she decided that it was time to focus on the present, and Håkan, because it was quite rude of her to be so reserved.

"So, where are we going after dinner?" Lily began, conversationally.

"I thought...perhaps..." he played with her hand some more, as if trying to delay the severity of the answer. "That I could show you the lavish hotel that your ministry has been so kind to supply us."

"Oh," Lily felt a blush come to her face. She'd never done this sort of a date before. With James, they were...well...different. But after all, she was an adult woman, and she was perfectly capable of doing that sort of thing....

Håkan was still awaiting her answer.

Lily cleared her throat and licked her lips, steeling her reserve. "That sounds lovely."

"Lavish hotel" turned out to be one of the finest wizard hotels around London. Håkan seemed very self-important indeed when he walked into the lobby with Lily on his arm. The concierges all nodded to him, and he nodded back, a very pompous act that made Lily a bit embarrassed to be with him, to tell the truth.

But she grin and bore it, and soon the lift doors were closing behind them. Håkan was still reveling in his importance of being known by all of the concierges, and made a comment as they passed the first floor.

"So, tell me, what do you think?" he asked.

"It's very beautiful," Lily nodded, running her hand along the lift side, which was encrusted in gold.

"You're very beautiful," Håkan said, smoothly. He leaned against the wall that she was playing with and took her hand in his, kissing her fingertips lightly.

Unfortunately, when Lily looked up to see him in the eye, she found hazel eyes instead of blue. Blinking once more, the blue eyes returned and were much closer than she originally thought. Before she could think of anything else, soft lips were pressed against hers and then a tongue was running along her closed lips.

Afraid that she'd see the hazel eyes instead of the blue again, Lily snapped her eyes shut and giggled a little bit. "Close your mouth," she ordered, pausing a bit. Deep laughter and then chaste kisses, and yet not so chaste. Strong arms that were unfamiliar, but at the same time, very familiar encircled her and rubbed up and down her body.

The lift stopped moving and the doors open. Lily opened her eyes, and was startled to see Håkan looking down at her. She was so sure for a minute there that...

Without saying anything, Håkan took her hand and lead her down the plush hallway. Lily was still a bit unnerved; she was so sure she was in someone else's arms. Håkan seemed not to notice her amazement, or was attributing it to something else.

Once they reached his room, he tugged her in front of him so he could watch her while he unlocked his door. He placed another not-so-chaste kiss on her lips and she let out a sigh, trying to keep her mind from thinking that she was in someone else's arms.

The door gave way behind her and she realized that she had been leaning heavily on it, because she nearly fell over. If it wasn't for Ja-Håkan, she would have fallen completely.

"I've got you," he whispered into her ear, nipping at it. Lily wrapped her arms tighter around him and he carried her through the hotel room. Her eyes were still snapped shut, so she had no idea where she was going until she felt herself laid out on satin bed sheets.

Her eyes opened and she could see blue eyes reflecting the moonlight from the open window looking down at her, just before they shut again and soft lips pressed against her own. In the darkness, Lily felt her jaw lax and her lips open up so that they could kiss deeper.

Coldness swept up from her calves and she became aware that he was pulling her robe up her legs. He paused for a minute to push her up the bed so that her legs were no longer dangling off the side of the bed.

Somehow, he had also pushed her robe up past her hips so that it was bunched around her waist. His hands ran down the length of her leg and then back up to push the robe up further. He pulled her so that she was on top of him so that he could easier pull the dress over her head.

She dared a quick look down and saw messy hair in the darkness of the room. His eyes opened for a second and she saw herself reflected in the hazel of the eyes. She leaned down to kiss him gently, and he pushed her back onto her back, taking control again.

Apparently, the fact that she had kissed him willingly had given him permission to be more daring with the way he touched her. She went so far as to tell him that he didn't need to ask, because she trusted him so much.

"How does this feel?" he breathed.

She nodded.

"And this...?"

She nodded again, more fervently. He was panting in the darkness, as if he was still hesitating in breaking the final barriers between them. He pressed his lips to hers, asking silently for permission.

"Please, James-"

"What did you just say?!"

The light flicked on.

Lily's eyes snapped open and she sat up. Håkan was wearing some sort of black underwear that Lily couldn't decipher what it was, and she was still wearing her undergarments.

"I said, what did you just say?" Håkan demanded, looking quite put out.

"Erm..." Lily blushed. "I don't remember, what did I just say?"

"You just called me James," he frowned.

Lily winced. "Did I?"

"Yes."

Lily sat up, and the words came bubbling out. "I'm so sorry, he's my ex and-"

"You just....!" Håkan exclaimed, madly. He got up off the bed and was pacing around the hotel room muttering in Swedish. Lily got a good look at his black underwear and she was shocked. It was a black elastic piece that stretched all the way around his hips, and had two smaller pieces that formed a triangle on his bum. She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing, he looked so ridiculous.

"I'm sorry," Lily said, finally, sliding off the bed. "He came over before you did, and-"

"So, is this how you do it in England?" Håkan asked, wildly.

"No, it's not," Lily said, sitting up a bit, and grabbing for her robe; she didn't feel comfortable now that she knew the man in front of her was Håkan and not James. "He and I wanted closure to our relationship, that's all-"

"Och jag som tänkte be dig komma till Sverige i sommar!" he exclaimed.

"I really do apologize," Lily said, slowly putting on her robe. "I...he....he was my only boyfriend, and I'm afraid I was quite attached to him."

"Jag tycker att du borde gå," Håkan said, pointing towards the door.

"Excuse me?" Lily said, quietly.

"Go!" Håkan said, pointing again. "Just go."

"I'm sorry," Lily muttered, grabbing her shoes and walking out of the hotel room, incredibly embarrassed.