Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter Twenty-Five

For such a small office, nobody seemed to know anything about the loud arguing that took place in Sirius' office. Sirius himself was being tight-lipped, and snapped if anyone asked him about it. Dorcas took to having a look of embarrassment and refracted the question to another topic. Because no new developments happened, the topic became trite to discuss, so it fell into obscurity.

Meanwhile, Lily was dealing with her current addiction to her ex-boyfriend. She had to will herself not to look up happily whenever she heard his gait echoing in the halls (yes, she knew what he sounded like when he walked by). She purposefully found out what times he took breaks and planned her day around them.

It wasn't working.

"So then I said, 'Sirius, honestly, what are you going to do with a vat of baby lotion'?" James sniggered. Lily was beside herself giggling as they sat in the break room at a table together. "And then do you know what the idiot says?"

She shook her head, wiping tears of mirth out of her eyes.

"He says, 'I'll take a bath in it, that way my arse can be baby soft!'" James said, putting his head on top of his hands and laughing into them. Lily collapsed into giggles.

They both gradually came back to a normal sense, chuckling occasionally. Lily's eyes were glued on James, taking in every inch of him that she could see. He was so handsome, she caught herself thinking. The way his mouth moved when he was laughing was so sexy-

She closed her eyes and turned her head. Not good thoughts.

"Oh, he's a berk," James said, sniffing lightly. He was riding some sort of euphoric high at the thought that he was making Lily laugh. He used to make her laugh all the time, when they'd wake up in the mornings, before they'd go to bed at night, whenever he'd see her-

He cleared his throat. Not good thoughts.

Lily was trying to find the will to stand up and walk back to her office , just so she could salvage some sort of dignity and not be a simpering pile of goo over this man, this sexy, funny, handsome-

He was trying not to look into her eyes. For if he looked at her eyes, he would want to drown in them, and then he wouldn't stop staring and then it would be- oh too late, there he went, looking at her eyes, were they always that green?

Lily was currently trying to remove her eyes from James' own piercing hazel eyes. But somehow, her eye muscles weren't working properly, and she couldn't move her eyes.

Then he moved his eyes, for a fraction of a section, to her lips, and then back up, and then back down. Her eyes started working again, and she glanced at his lips, and her breath caught in her throat as his tongue dashed out to run over his bottom lip. Her heart was beating so fast that she was getting dizzy.

She didn't want him to look like he was going to kiss her. Because she really did want to kiss him, but they had closure and it would completely ruin everything that she had built up against him and-

James' heart was beating fast, and closing his eyes, he opened his mouth slightly and leaned in.

Lily closed her eyes and opened her mouth as well, feeling his breath on her face.

The squeaking of the door brought them back to reality. They jumped back from each other so fast that their chairs left scratch marks on the tile floor. Adjusting themselves accordingly, each shot a (very dirty) glance to the door to see who had interrupted them.

"Oh, sorry..." Peter said, blinking madly. "James...er...Dumbledore wanted someone to show me the safe house, just in case someone attacked me, being as I'm in the Order and all and-"

"Well, now you're going to be attacked, now that you've announced it to the world," James rolled his eyes, standing up. His voice sounded high and squeaky, and he didn't look at Lily who was looking the other way and twirling her hair. "Let's go, and keep your voice down."

Once he was at the door, Lily turned to watch him go. She let out a deep breath and put her hand to her forehead, feeling a tad dizzy. She folded her arms on the table and put her head into them, letting out a groan.

"Believe me, I'm doing the same thing," came a voice from the coffee machine. Lily looked up and smiled halfway at Dorcas.

"I didn't see you come in," Lily said, offering her the seat that was vacated by James.

"Well, I didn't expect you would, seeing as you were near snogging the brains out of James," she sat down, smirking slightly.

Lily blushed and coughed.

"Why don't you two just get back together? Everyone thinks you should," Dorcas asked, sipping her coffee.

"We have closure," was the only excuse Lily could come up with.

"Closure?" Dorcas asked, eyeing the door. "Closure as in 'we-have-such-sexual-tension-we're- about-shagging-on-the-floor?'"

Again, Lily blushed and coughed.

"I wish..." Dorcas started, sounding a bit unlike her usual sardonic self. She sounded a bit unsure of herself, something she never was. Lily looked up, concerned. She was running her fingers up and down the paper cup, seemingly absorbed in the feeling of heat on her fingertips.

"Dorcas?" Lily asked.

"Oh, sorry," Dorcas said, swallowing and looking a bit annoyed with herself for the momentary lapse.

Lily reached forward and put her hand on Dorcas'. They were not particularly close, but Lily felt a mild kinship to the other witch. "Is something wrong?"

Dorcas jerked her hand, but did not remove it. She looked up at Lily and then back down at her cup. She was silent for a few minutes before saying, "Not...anything unexpected...on his part anyway."

Lily was opened her mouth, concerned, but Dorcas said, "I can't talk about it here, too many flapping lips." She gestured to the open door. "It's not something I want broadcasted to the world."

"I see," Lily nodded, retracting her hand. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

Dorcas shrugged, as if she'd rather not discuss it with anyone, but at the same time, needing to. "I'm getting off soon anyway."

"What time is it?" Lily asked, turning her head to squint at the clock on the wall. "Already eight?"

"Time flies when you're having sexual tension between your ex, doesn't it?" Dorcas snorted.

After a request to go the Muggle way ("It helps me clear my mind," Dorcas had told Lily), they found a small coffee shop in the basement of a larger building. Dorcas seemed right at home, with her beatnik glasses and robes, whereas Lily, still in crisp black robes, seemed mildly out of place.

"So," Lily asked, peering at Dorcas over her tea. "What's going on?"

Dorcas grimaced while sipping her own tea and took her time setting down her cup and settling back in her chair and dabbing her mouth with a napkin. When she finally spoke, she spoke in such a low voice, Lily could hardly hear her.

"Lately, I've been feeling...oddly....about Sirius."

"Like?" Lily asked.

"Like...I don't know, I've been thinking about him more often," Dorcas said, thinking. "And in a way that I've never felt about a guy before."

Lily quirked her brow. "Do you lo-"

"No, Merlin no," Dorcas said, shaking her head. She almost said it too quickly. "Of course not. That," she couldn't even say the world, "entitles something completely different. That is what you have with James-"

Lily sighed, sadly. "Not anymore..."

Dorcas rolled her eyes, but decided that it was a mute point. "In any case, no, I do not. But...I..." She looked away, embarrassed. "I asked him if he wanted to...well...be other than shagmates."

"As in, your boyfriend?" Lily asked, aghast.

Dorcas nodded, shamefully.

"Sirius has never had-"

"I know and the last real boyfriend I had was in sixth year, I don't have boyfriends either. But...something about him," a grin was forcing its way onto her face.

Lily was still staring at her in shock. "I never would take you for the type to ask him to be-"

"Apparently, neither did Sirius, because he started staring at me like I was crazy," Dorcas sighed.

"Is that was the yelling was about the other day?" Lily asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Unfortunately," Dorcas said.

"So why didn't you tell anyone?" Lily asked.

"Because! It's embarrassing! I just asked him to be my boyfriend, and he flat out refused, in fact, he told me that I was going crazy. And between you and I, I think I am."

"Why's that?" Lily laughed.

"I asked to cook him breakfast," Dorcas hissed quietly. "I want to cuddle, I want to do all of these girlfriendly things...it's sickening."

Lily looked at her tea wistfully. "What I wouldn't give for a cuddle...."

"What about you?" Dorcas asked. "You and James are obviously pining over each other, why don't you get back together?"

It was Lily's turn to look embarrassed. She took several large gulps of her tea and set it down. "Because...."

"Because?"

"Because we both decided that we shouldn't get back together," Lily said, unconvincingly.

"So how come you've been following him around like a lovesick puppy lately?" Dorcas asked, knowingly.

"I haven't been-"

"Every time you've been out of your office, you've been around him," Dorcas pointed out.

Lily sighed, unsure of what to say.

"Well, isn't this a pretty sight," Dorcas laughed. "You're trying to get over your guy and I'm trying to make mine lo-er...well, you know what I mean," she started blushing again. "Why don't we trade."

Lily let out a bark of laughter. "Sirius? That would be...disgusting..."

"Would it?" Dorcas asked.

"In the first place, Sirius would never think about me in that way, he's too loyal to James," Lily's face was still disgusted. "And in the second place, I don't find Sirius even remotely attractive."

"To be fair, I think James is a bit of a prick."

"James is a large prick," Lily corrected her. "But he can be sweet sometimes....and he can kiss, oh, he can kiss..." She closed her eyes for a moment in memory. When she opened them, Dorcas was shaking her head.

"He's there if you want him, and I don't think he'd complain if you threw him into a closet and shagged him rotton."

"I think we both would, in the long run. I don't want to go through another fiasco like before we broke up. Honestly, how hard is it to say four little words?!" Lily said, angrily. "I mean, honestly."

"Why didn't you just ask him yourself?" Dorcas asked.

"Because...I've always had this idea of how I wanted to be asked. I don't care about much, but I want him to ask, and I want him on bended knee."

"Do you still want it?" Dorcas asked.

Lily was quiet for a very long time. When she looked up, she said, without conviction, "I...no...I guess not."

They decided to take another walk while they continued their conversation. Dorcas invited Lily over to her flat, as it was nearby.

"Why do you like the Muggle way?" Lily asked, as they stepped into the lift to go up to Dorcas' apartment.

"My mom was a Muggle and my dad is Muggle-born," Dorcas asked. "So I grew up the Muggle way."

Lily grinned. "Magic is nice, but there are some things that it just can't duplicate."

"That's the truth. Apparating stresses me out more than walking," Dorcas said, playing with the wall of the lift as she leaned against it.

Lily nodded in agreement, watching the numbers change. "I wonder, sometimes, what it would be like if I had never gotten my letter. Would I have turned out just like my sister? Boring and ordinary?"

The lift doors opened and the two women walked out of it, both quiet in their thoughts. Dorcas pulled out her keys and was about to open the door when Lily cleared her throat.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go back home," she admitted. "It's been a long day, and all..."

Dorcas nodded, understanding. "These walls are thin, so I would use the lift to Apparate."

Lily nodded and gave a little wave. "This has been a nice chat."

"Yeah, it has," Dorcas smiled. "You know...if hell freezes over...and I," she laughed, as if she thought this was the dumbest idea ever, "ever get married to Sirius," she laughed again, to let Lily know that she still thought it was dumb, "and you, of course, get married to James, we'd be...sisters, of sorts."

Lily let out a little laugh. "Yes, but as we've seen, Sirius has a better chance of marrying you than James does of asking me."

Dorcas put her hand on the knob and nodded, laughing. "See you tomorrow," she said.

"See you," Lily nodded, turning to walk down the hall to the lift as Dorcas went inside. She pressed the down button on the wall and waited looking around at the decorations.

Until she heard a scream saw the decorations shimmer green.

Whipping her head around, she raced down the hall, not recognizing what she was doing. The door was still unlocked, and almost opened on its own.

There lay Dorcas. Above her the Dark Mark.