Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter Three

"You. Are a chicken-shit, Prongs, plain and simple," Sirius glowered at him. They had just returned from a mini-battle with three Death Eaters. Lily was still helping out at the safe house, and Sirius and James stopped back in at work to jot down some quick paperwork, but before they even got to sit down, Sirius had rounded on James. "It's not that hard. It's four tiny little words-"

"I know."

"Say them with me," Sirius leaned against James desk and played with a rubber band. "Will. You. Marry. Me. Easy, huh?"

"The clouds threw me off," James muttered, playing with his fingernails.

"Clouds?" Sirius stared at him incredulous. "What the bloody hell do clouds have to do with a marriage proposal."

"Well, you know you told me to do that whole 'stars are your eyes-'"

"You aren't going to try to stand there and tell me that you couldn't think of something else to say..."

"Yeah," James blushed.

"Prongs....you're....bloody impossible!" Sirius sighed. "You're acting sixteen again!"

"In case you didn't know, I'm nineteen. Which is three years older than sixteen."

"Yes, Prongs, I did know, as I am currently the same age. But at sixteen, you couldn't be in the same room as Lily without making a complete arse out of yourself. You've been dating her for a year and a half, what is so different?"

"I dunno...it's... a big step?" James tried.

"You're chicken shit, is what you are. Chicken. Shit."

"Chicken shit," repeated a child's voice from the ground. James and Sirius looked down and blinked. A small red-head was staring up at them, curiously.

"The hell is that?" Sirius sputtered.

"It's a kid, Padfoot."

"Is it yours?"

James glared at Sirius. "Where'd you come from, kid?" James asked.

"Chicken shit," he repeated, giggling at James.

"Yes, we know he is," Sirius chuckled, amused. "But where did you come from?"

"Chicken shit."

"Great job, Padfoot," James glared at him. "Now you've ruined the kid."

Another small redhead skirted into the office and then turned down the hallway. "Uuuuuuncle! He's down heeeeere!"

One of the Prewett twins came into the office, looking quite put out. "James, thanks a lot-"

"Chicken shit," the kid peeped again.

"Ooh, Uncle...he said a bad word!"

"Hush Charlie," one of the twins said, holding his arms out for James to put the small child in them.

"These yours, Prewett?" Sirius asked as James hands him the kid. "

No...they're my sister's. She's pregnant, you know," he adjusted the smaller child on his hip. "Twins, it runs in the family, you know."

James cleared his throat. "Speaking of that, which one-"

"Fabian," he chuckled. Charlie seemed not to know either, as he seemed to file that away. "Anyway, she's having twins soon, so she asked me to watch a few of her kids today-"

"Don't they have enough?" Sirius asked, aghast. "That's like four kids!"

"Five," Fabian corrected. "There's Bill, Charlie, Percy, and then the twins on the way."

"Who'd want to have that many kids?" Sirius stared.

"They're aiming for a girl," Fabian shrugged. "Trying to break the curse, I guess. There hasn't been a girl born to her husband's family in generations."

"What a shame," James shook his head.

"Five children," Sirius was still aghast.

"Chicken shit!" the child chirped again.

"What have you been teaching him?" Fabian asked, blinking.

"Er...he walked in while I was badgering Prongs here," Sirius snorted. "He's being a wimp because he won't propose to Lily."

"Oh..." Fabian looked at him. "Do you think she'll say no or something?"

"No..." James muttered looking down. "Whenever you two decide to get married, you'll know exactly where I stand, all right?!"

"What's the problem, then?" Fabian asked. "You're obviously in love-"

"Yeah, but if we're married, it'll take a lot more trouble in case things go sour," James pointed out. "Like paperwork and stuff..."

Sirius stared at James. "If things go sour?"

"Yeah...if I find out that she's really not the one for me-" James picked the edge of his desk.

"The only thing out of your mouth since the first time you laid eyes on that girl was her," Sirius said, slowly. "And now, after all this bloody time, you're saying that you have any doubt that she's not the one for you?"

"I'm not saying I have doubts," James said. "I'm just saying that it's a big step to take..."

"Chicken shit!"

"You know, I'm starting to think the kid's right," Sirius snorted. "You've never shied away from anything in your life, Prongs. Least of all, Lily. So why getting cold feet now?"

"Making up for my gittiness?" James tried.

"I don't think so," Sirius shook his head. "I think you're just putting this off as long as you can. You-"

"Chicken shit!"

"Thanks kid," Sirius smirked.

"My, my, what an example to teach the future generations..."

Charlie looked up and ducked behind his uncle's legs. All three of the adults stiffened, and the mood took a turn for the worse. Even Percy seemed to notice the change, as he seemed to shrink into his uncle's shoulder.

Striding into James' office, as if he owned it himself, Rodolphus Lestrange peered around, inspecting the office.

"What are you doing slinking down here, Lestrange?" Sirius all-but-growled, folding his hands over his chest. Lestrange smiled a very slick smile, as if he knew something everyone else didn't. He pulled out a slip of paper.

"I have just donated a great deal of money to the Ministry, I am inspecting how my investments are being used," he walked into the office and picked up a few files laying on James' desk. James quickly snatched them out of his hand.

"Doesn't mean you get to spy for Voldemort, Lestrange," Fabian glared. Lestrange started a bit at the mention of the name, but straightened up.

"You'd be wise not to mention his name...in front of the children," he smirked, looking down at Charlie, who was white in the face. Fabian realized that he did, in fact, have the children still with him, so he was quiet as to not draw any fire towards them. "Besides, I have no idea what you're talking about."

This was a complete lie and all three of them knew it. But it was the way they handled the Death Eaters; they could not outwardly admit that they were in contact with known Death Eaters, else their own fortunes would be in jeopardy. So they played this game of thinly masked lies and ironic statements.

Before either of them could snatch it away from them, Lestrange picked up another folder and opened it.

"My, my, my," he tutted. "Another Mudblood family murdered. Such a shame, after a while, they'll be none left."

"Watch your mouth, Lestrange," James growled, clutching at his wand in his pocket.

"Oh yes, I forgot, you're rather attached to your mudblood little girlfriend, aren't you?" Lestrange smirked. "Better get a move on, though, Potter, with her being such a target and all, you never know when she'll snuff it next. Didn't you just loose three Aurors the other day-"

"How's Bellatrix?" Sirius changed the dynamic of the conversation before James threw aside his wand and beat Lestrange to a bloody pulp with his bare hands. "Still getting married, or has she left you for her boss?"

Lestrange colored and James and Sirius smirked. Though Bellatrix was still on the lam, It was whispered that she had lost her luster for Rodolphus, and was pining over the Dark Lord. Of course, this rumor had been circulating for some time, and it was widely thought that Bellatrix only was marrying Rodolphus for the position he held in pure-blood circles.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lestrange said, trying to compose himself. "I have not seen Bellatrix in months."

"Pity, I guess she did leave you then," Sirius snorted. "Clearly, power does make one more attractive-"

"Tell me, how's your brother Black, heard from him lately?" Lestrange asked.

Sirius visibly darkened. "No."

"Fortunately, he's making up for the mistakes his brother made. He's proving his parents proud, dropping out after this year to get a head start on his future career."

James watched Sirius closely. If he was touchy about Lily, Sirius was near explosive about his brother. He wasn't sure if he needed to intervene; if he took what Lestrange said, Regulus was joining the Death Eaters after he completed his sixth year at the end of June.

But to James' surprise, Sirius was calm and collected. He shrugged half-heartedly. "Fine, let him do what he wants. I'm sure that he'll fail, miserably, as he normally does."

James stared at Sirius, blankly. Lestrange also seemed to be miffed that he hadn't gotten a rise out of Sirius, because he lost his urge to taunt them some more. He threw the folder down on the desk and adjusted his robe.

"I've wasted enough time here," he said, straightening up. "I need to inspect the other offices."

"You'll walk straight ahead and out of this area of the Ministry, Lestrange," James ordered.

"And who's going to make me?"

James whipped out his wand and pointed it in Lestrange's face. "Go on, I'll be watching."

Lestrange snorted and swept out of the office. James made sure that he was completely gone from the hallway before he turned back into the office.

"Bloody berk. We should talk to the minister about restrictions," he snorted. "Donations or not, he's probably getting all the information he needs from his daily walks through our offices."

"You know that she can't do anything about it," Fabian shook his head, adjusting the small child on his side. "Else the donations from all the pure-blood families would stop. And then we wouldn't have any money to do anything with."

"Stupid pure-bloods and their vast fortunes," Sirius growled. "Well, they should be allowed a window of time or something, so that we can hide all of the good stuff so that they can't just spring up on us."

"Chicken shit!" The child in Fabian's arms chirped once more.

"Molly's going to murder me," Fabian sighed, grabbing the other child's hand and leading him down the hallway. They could hear him admonishing the little kid for cursing so much, but it didn't seem to be doing any difference.

"Padfoot?" James asked, cautiously. "Are you ok?"

"With what?" Sirius asked.

"Regulus...I mean..."

"Oh..." he shook his head. "I don't think he'll go through with it. He may act brave, but inside, he's just a little chicken shit like you."

"Hey..." James frowned.

"So, back to what we were talking about," Sirius poked James in the shoulder. "You and your problem."

"It's not a problem."

"The fact that you can't string together four simple words in front of your girlfriend, yeah I'd say it's a problem," Sirius raised his eyebrow.

"I can...when I'm ready."

"One day," Sirius sighed. "Lily isn't going to wait around for you."

James shook his head. "We've been out of school for less than 6 months, Padfoot. Not even two months out of training. I don't think she wants to get married right now."

"You've been dating for a year and a half," Sirius reminded him.

"So?" James didn't look at him.

"So now you're just making excuses. You have to cook those beans someday, James."

"What?" James asked.

"You know, the grocery store and the beans and the tapioca...." Sirius reminded him. "And that old lady with blue hair..."

"Oh yeah," James grimaced. "Why'd you have to remind me of that?"

"Because, James, you need to be reminded of that..."

"Well, now I have to figure out a way to do it. The romantic walk didn't go so hot-"

"I noticed," Sirius sniggered. He then snapped his fingers together. "I've got it!"

"What?"

"Your main problem is that you can't say the words, right?"

"Er...yeah..."

"So...follow me on this, ok, mate? How about you make this really fancy romantic dinner and stick the ring inside the dessert? Then she'll look at it, say yes, and that's that!" Sirius looked proud of himself.

James thought about it for a moment, fingering the ring in his pocket. "You know...that's not a bad idea!"

"Of course it's not a bad idea, it's mine, isn't it?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"So, when should I do it? Next week-"

"Tomorrow."

"But I-"

"Tomorrow, Prongs."