Chapter 12 - Halloween
This was the first year the Halloween Ball had been re-instated; something seemed to happen to cancel it. In their first year, the troll attack, the chamber had been opened in the second. The escape of Sirius Black caused the school to lock down in the third year. The tournament took the attention and the ball had been cancelled. Umbridge cancelled any activity that could be considered enjoyable by the students. This year, there wasn't anything to stop it and all the students were anticipating a mid term social event. As was the nature of the event being a social gathering, it was open to all students, unlike the Valentine's Day Ball.
"Harry, who are you going to the Halloween Ball with this year, it's this week, you know?"
It was a simple question from a close friend. Harry never considered going, he still wasn't comfortable being in a social position with his peers.
"I'm not going," he mumbled without looking away from his book.
"Harry, you're slipping back to your old ways ever since you broke up with Ginny. You need to snap out of it."
"Why should I? I like being like this."
"Miserable and alone? That's no way to live."
"You're one to talk." Keeping his head buried in his book.
"Just WHAT do you mean by that?"
"Look at you and Ron! Why'd you dump him? You know how he feels about you; everyone seems to think you two were perfect together." A bit of venom slipped in his tone.
"Harry, that's personal. But I'll tell this much, I just don't feel that way toward him, but we're still friends. Why did you break up with Ginny? I've never seen her so hurt before."
Hermione's revelation about Ginny hit him hard, but he wouldn't show it. Deep down, he did like Ginny; she was the sister he wished he had. But he couldn't run the risk of getting her hurt because of him, just so he could feel better.
"It wasn't fair to her. I don't feel anything for her. She deserves someone that could appreciate her and feel the same way back, I can't. I can't… feel anything anymore. I don't think I ever can. Now, are we done? I have to finish these chapters before tomorrow."
"No we are not done. You really need to wake up. You're losing the few friends you have left."
"Whatever." He snarled.
She turned on her heels and left Harry to his self-centered misery. She continued the argument in her head, knowing she should have won and shaken him out of his stupor, but nothing changed. She stomped up the stairs taking out her frustrations on the steps. In her room, she dove to the bed and screamed into the pillow. 'Why is he acting this way again? He was so much better with Ginny.' The thoughts raced through her head about him and his problems, but how to help him, that was the one problem she couldn't solve.
It was well past dinner, but her stomach was grumbling madly. She knew it wasn't for food, and all the same she felt hungry and ill at the same time. She knew it was stress, for her friend and for the on-coming war. Reluctantly, she lifted her head from her pillow and picked up her private journal.
I don't know how to help him any more; I don't even know what I should do. I feel as though I don't know anything anymore. This whole bloody war or whatever it is has done nothing but confuse and scare me. I'm a seventeen year old Muggle-born witch, and sometimes it seems as though so many people rely on me for answers or solutions to problems I don't understand! I can't comprehend how he deals with it all.
Ginny's gotten over what he did to her, although I can't see why he did it to her, he needs to see there are those of us that truly feel for him. He thinks hiding his feelings will keep us safe, if we all didn't care for him, we wouldn't be his friends. I don't want to lose his friendship; it's the most valuable thing to me. I wish he wouldn't keep pushing me away.
I wish I could understand why I'm so concerned about him. The truth is I… just don't know.
The truth was she was also losing her friends just as fast as he was abandoning his. After Ron's poor judgment at the Quidditch pitch with her, she decided that relationship wouldn't work. They were still friends, but he had to either try to ease his feelings for her or lose their friendship altogether, something neither of them wanted. Hermione began to miss the closeness the three shared. Harry locked himself in his own world, and Ron was growing in other directions. At least she still had her books and studies to console her.
Ron had begun to move on, putting his feelings for Hermione out of his mind. Shortly after their flying disaster, Luna came to his rescue. He shared his feelings for Hermione with Luna, and she listened. Luna told Ron that sometimes close friends just can't become intimate, especially after what he, Harry and Hermione have been through together. Hermione was surprised at Luna's compassion and thoughtfulness with Ron, and hoped Ron would see what was clear to everyone else- Luna's eyes lit up when ever Ron walked into the same room. Hermione also noticed Ron's awkwardness disappeared when Luna was around, the same awkwardness that made Ron feel like he had to show off. After what happen at the Ministry Ron started looking at Luna in a different way.
Ginny had thought about what he said to her, how her heart was nearly broken. She had cried herself to sleep for several days afterward, but she couldn't let him go. Hermione confided in her that Harry had reverted back into his depression, something neither girl wanted to see happen. Together they were going to get him back to himself, one way or another. Hermione tried with reason and failed, it was Ginny's turn. She had a different ploy.
The night before the ball, Ginny found Harry alone, in the common room, sitting on the love seat in the far corner, trying to read.
"Harry, talk to me, please." She pleaded as she slipped next to him.
"Why? Why do you want to talk to me, after what I said to you?"
"You did say you would always be my friend, was that a lie too?"
"Gin, I just thought that since you've been avoiding me for the last week that you didn't want to talk to me ever again. I never wanted to hurt you or mislead you."
"I was hurt, I guess I still am a bit, but I realized that I still like you and do want to be friends even if that's all. And it's just, well the ball is tomorrow, and no one's asked me."
"I'm sorry Gin, I wish I could help, really, but I'm not going."
"Why not? The whole school's going to be there."
"I thought you of all people would have figured that out. I'm poison, anyone I get close to dies. I'm not going, with you or any one. Go ask Colin, he'd love to go with you."
His suggestion and remarks earned him a snarl of reply, "You're not poison, Harry. And I'd rather go out with Malfoy then Colin; he's such a… boy. How about going with me, as friends, I promise you won't have to dance with me, if you really don't want to. It'd be good for you to get out with your friends."
"What friends? Ron? Hermione? You?"
"Yes, all of us, and more. You just can't see it; you've been wallowing in self-pity way too long."
"I can see things fine. Gin, I can't, really. Please don't push me." He turned his head to avoid looking at her, knowing he couldn't keep this up much longer.
"Look, if it were Ron, you'd be all over him, trying to get him to wake up… If it were Hermione, or me you'd be there for either of us. You know that."
"But it's not anyone else, it's me. I won't be the reason anyone else gets hurt, I can't. Don't you see that? I can't go through what happened to Sirius again." She grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her.
"You won't, not if we all stick together. You've effectively abandoned the DA you helped form, if it wasn't for us original members, the new people wouldn't stand a chance. Don't you see how much you're needed?"
"Needed? Yeah, I can see that, you need a weapon, me. What if I don't want to be part of it anymore? Would anyone notice if I just went away?"
"I would." She replied in almost a whisper, and pulled him closer for a long over-due kiss. To her surprise and relief, he didn't pull away, but he also didn't return the kiss.
"I told you, I can't. Please Gin; I don't want you to be hurt."
"And I don't want you to sulk. Can we at least make an agreement? You don't sulk anymore and I won't try to fall for you anymore. I'll be nothing more then your sister. OK?" She leaned back in and gave him another kiss, this time on the cheek.
"Gin, I…"
"Just say 'OK, Ginny' that's not too hard to do, is it?"
"Ok. I do miss having someone to talk to."
"You'll always have me, and Hermione. She's really upset, you know."
"I… can't fix that. I think she hates me."
"No, she doesn't. You really need to talk to her, show some of that Gryffindor courage; I could be there with you, if you want."
"Maybe, but not right now; maybe after the ball, sometime next week."
"Ok, next week, promise?"
"Yeah, sure"
"Now, are you going to go to the ball with your 'sister'?" She held his chin and forced him to nod. "I'll be ready to go at 6:00, first to the feast, and then to the ball. Night, 'bro."
She stood up, and as she turned to leave, she swished her hair across his face, leaving him stunned as to what just happened. That witch conned him into going against his will.
- - -
The following evening, Harry met Ginny at the feast, at the Gryffindor table. Ron and Luna were sitting together, also at the Gryffindor table but several seats away. It was clear that Ron and Hermione hadn't completely recovered from their disaster of a day together. Hermione sat across from Harry and Ginny, and smiled to herself that Harry crawled out of his exile. They all shared the normal pleasantries during the feast, while Ginny tried through the feast to patch the three friends up.
After the annual Halloween Feast, Dumbledore stood to address the school. "Tonight we shall resume our tradition of the Halloween Ball. If we may have the room cleared for 15 minutes while preparations are made, you may return in that time. And may I add that anyone wishing to do so now is the perfect time to dress into your costumes."
Ginny grabbed Harry's hand, to make sure he didn't escape, Ron and Luna had left to change earlier, each to their separate dormitories. Hermione followed Harry and Ginny closely, to the Gryffindor common room. Ginny had left her and Harry's costumes in the common room, and Hermione left for her rooms.
They donned their simple costumes of matching cloaks and masks and waited in the common room. Ginny had a simple plan, she knew Harry had misunderstood Hermione's concern and worked it out with the older witch to gang up on the wizard. She now had him trapped and as soon as Hermione came down the stairs in the same matching outfit, the three left together for the ball.
"Harry, don't worry, since none of us are attached, I thought I'd invite Hermione to join us. After all, you are here as my 'brother', right?"
"Well, yeah, I guess…"
"Then lets all have fun!" The scheming witch exclaimed.
The evening began quietly for the three; Harry had refused to dance at first, but Ginny's constant prodding forced him to the dance floor. The last event like this they attended had been the Yule Ball, but he was more the reluctant to participate in the dancing, tonight he began to enjoy the merriment.
After the third song, she feigned a tender ankle and convinced him to take a turn with Hermione. He escorted Ginny to the side where Hermione had been sitting by herself, and he took her hand to continue enjoying the evening. His arm snaked around her waist, while he held her hand in his. His touch sent a wave of excitement through her, that she never experienced, with Viktor or Ron. 'Stop it, you're his friend. There's nothing between you, so just STOP thinking about him!' she argued with herself. 'Just enjoy the dance.'
"I see Potter's taste in girls must run in his family, a filthy mudblood and a ditzy red-head. Can't make up your mind on how low you want to go, scar-head?" Pansy chided from the side.
The rudeness made him stop in his tracks and let his simmering anger boil. "Apologize to them, now, you inbred slut. Or so help me, Merlin, I'll see you and your family in Azkaban." He hissed in anger.
"Harry, forget that cow, I'm use to their low life remarks. An insult only hurts if it's made by someone you care about." Hermione pleaded.
"I won't. I've had enough of that Slytherin scum." He turned to Pansy; the crowd stopped dancing and began to watch.
"Inbred? I'll have you know my family goes back generations…"
"Yeah? Then why when the Department of Magical Marriages passed a law that said divorced couples are still legally brother and sister you cheered?"
"Cheered??"
"Yeah, and so what if your family tree goes back generations if it never forks!"
"You'll pay for your crude remarks."
"As crude as yours? You've insulted my family Ginny's and Hermione's. How does it feel to be on that end of the insults?"
"I'll show you how it feels. Stupefy!"
"Protego!Furnunculus!"
"Incendi… uhh…"
Harry's spell hit Pansy, causing massive boils to erupt on her face. The fireball she shot grazed by him as he dove while pointing his wand and shouting one last spell to end the duel, "Petrificus Totalus!" As she fell board stiff.
"How noble of you Potter, to try and defend the honor of someone that doesn't belong in our world." Nott said as he stepped over his fallen classmate. "So you can out duel a girl, afraid to try your equal?"
"In this crowd? You've got to be kidding. Name one other person in this hall that's faced Voldemort and survived, then you can try to challenge me."
The gasp made in unison at the mention of the name startled the challenger and Harry's resolve made him rethink his weakened position.
"You'd better just watch your back, Potter. You never know who's behind you."
"Just like the cowards you are, attack from behind. Just give me a reason!"
The speed of the attacks left the chaperons ill prepared to counter the first attacks but they quickly regrouped to intervene. Luckily for the Slytherins, the second attacks didn't occur.
Only Pansy remained, as she was still frozen stiff. Hermione and Ginny grabbed Harry each by an arm and pulled him from the Hall in hopes to calm him down. He defiantly pulled from their grip and left for a walk by the lake, alone.
- - -
That night, after everyone calmed down, Harry finally retreated to his bed. The images and thoughts of the ball swarm his mind, leaving him in a maelstrom of thoughts. He rolled over, shoved his head deep into his pillow and quietly let his feelings escape. Ron could hear his friend through the curtains, but knew his advice and help wasn't wanted. Harry lay there for a few minutes, until his pain released into his sub-conscious sleep.
He was flying through a dark abyss; he could feel a presence nearby, close, but out of reach. He loved to soar; flying was the closest to peace he knew. Out into the dark he could make out faint images. They, too, were flying, no, not flying, falling. He wasn't on his beloved Firebolt. There was nothing… darkness… he fell…
He watched images of things unknown, a flash of green striking red, a black-cloaked figure in a black mask waiving a fiery red sword. A quick flash from the flaming sword as his arm burned with pain. Once more he saw the flaming sword flash as it disappeared as the masked figure reveled his face, showing the scars of a thousand battles. Flashing lights, strange sounds, he saw the stars race by as he fell through them; they streaked into sharp lines and with a sudden flash, disappear.
He landed in a dark pool, thick and warm. To the side he saw a flash of flowing red hair, "Ginny…" he called. Her image faded from his mind. He saw another, a young man with the same hair hunched over as if in pain. He faded too. He saw a tall, muscular young man with the same flowing red hair as he chased a tall thin blond haired man on broom.
"MALFOY…" he shouted, without making a sound.
He saw her again, this time there was an older Hermione in his arms, impaled with a bloody blade.
"HERMIONE! NOO!" He screamed… but he still couldn't hear his own voice.
He felt the burning… the burning of his scar as it cut through his soul.
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" He screamed as he sat up in a flash, grabbed his forehead to rip the scar from his face.
"HARRY? What's…?" One of his roommates asked.
He jumped out of his bed screaming, and pushed his friend to the floor. Ron could see the sweat dripping from Harry's face as he grabbed his glasses and wand from his nightstand, and bolted through the hallway to the common room. There he made his escape.