Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter 9 - Funeral for the Fallen

Ron returned that night with Professor Dumbledore, and was taken directly to the hospital wing where Hermione was waiting. She had that annoyed look she gets when she discovered something others knew that she didn't. She was annoyed, almost downright pissed. This was something she had to clear up with Ron.

"Please Miss Granger, you can visit him tomorrow," Madam Pomfrey commanded.

"No, I need to see him now."

The school nurse looked to the headmaster for his guidance, he nodded his approval. "Very well, you may have five minutes AFTER he's in his bed."

"I'll wait."

The nurse hurried her task, to get Ron settled in a ward bed as comfortably as possible. She nodded to Hermione when she was finished and then the young witch went to the side of her friend.

"Ron, do you know what people are saying about us? They're saying we're dating!"

He looked to her, and took her hand in his.

"Would that be such a bad thing?"

"What are you saying?" Her tone was not what he wanted to hear as she pulled her hand back.

"I tried to tell you the other day at the station."

"What?"

"Never mind, it'll keep."

"Out with it Weasley."

"Hermione, you know we've been friends for a long time. I, umm… that is I've been, well… Hermione, I love you."

"Ron, you can't be serious. We're friends, nothing more." Her tone began to soften.

But it was not the reaction he wanted. "I'd do anything for you, you know that."

"And I would do anything for you too, that doesn't mean I feel the same."

"Would it be so bad if we did go together?"

"I don't know. It could ruin our friendship. I'd never be able to deal with losing you too."

"You're still upset about Harry, aren't you?"

"Yes, but I think he and your sister are getting together. He's confiding in her like he used to with us. That's what hurts. But I'm glad for him and Ginny. They're good together."

"And we wouldn't? Hermione, think about it. I'm willing to risk it if you are."

"Ron, you are one of my dearest and closest friends. I know what you did for me the other day. I don't want you to confuse my gratitude for your selfless act with affection. I mean I do love you, but not like that. At least, I don't know."

She was getting flustered, not knowing what she felt so she leaned in and kissed him on his cheek. "Let's just take it one step at a time. We both need to sort things out."

"So you're not mad at me?"

"No."

"So we're going out?"

"I… need to, sort it out."

"What's to sort out? Either you do or you don't want to go out with me."

"If you're going to force an answer, then its no; if you'll just let me sort it out… I don't want to lose you as a friend. I'm afraid that's what will happen, if I say yes or no… DAMN you Weasley, why'd you have to make this so damn hard."

She ran out of the ward, more confused then when she went in.

"WE'LL TALK LATER. 'K?" he shouted as she closed the door.

She heard his last statement, and made a mental note this wasn't finished. The entire thought of being involved with Ron wasn't completely ridiculous. She had been wrestling with her feelings for two different boys all summer. She admitted to herself she loved them both, but each one differently. And she couldn't figure out which one she was in love with. Being still only fifteen, she wasn't sure about the difference between love and being in love, which was the missing piece of her puzzle that had her frustrated. All she knew for a certainty was both had risked everything for her, both had suffered for her, but only one was willing to risk their friendship. Only one expressed he felt more than a close friendship with her. Another wrench in the works of her life was the other one had become involved with her best girl-friend. Maybe that was the 'nudge' she needed to decide.

Down the hallway away from the hospital ward, a single scream of frustration was heard, startling a few occupants of the pictures along the walls.

In another part of the castle, another young couple separates from their passionate embrace and sit simply leaning against each other, trying to find a mutually comfortable position, physically and emotionally.

"Harry, it's getting late, I need to get to bed, but I'm going to check on Ron first. I'll let you know how that goes."

"Yeah, it is late; I guess Hermione's with Ron, let me know what he says." The portrait door quietly opened and a figure slipped in, just like the other night. The figure froze at the sight of the couple talking.

"You know, I really do love you, and I really enjoy just being with you like this."

"Yeah, I know. I like it too. It feels good to have friends again. I missed that all summer."

"That was your choice, you know, the invitation was always there."

"I couldn't. It was too soon after…" He still couldn't say the words. "… You know."

"Yes, I know. I've got to go, or he might be asleep by the time I get there. You go to bed, you need sleep."

"I know, but that's the last thing I want to do."

She gave him another deep kiss, "Night love."

"Night Gin."

The figure in the door way quickly opened and shut the door, to create a distraction.

"Hermione, didn't hear you come in," he said.

"Getting cozy? Glad to see you talking to someone, Harry."

"Bye, I was heading out."

Ginny stood and slid past her friend to visit her brother.

Hermione walked over to where Ginny had been sitting, and sat next to Harry. He tried to stand, but she grabbed his arm and held him down.

"No. You're going to answer some questions first."

"Hermione…"

"STOP! You've been rude and mean to me all summer and ever since we've been back. I want to know why. If you want to break up our friendship, then that's your choice, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me this way."

"Hermione, I-I'm sorry. I don't want to see you hurt. Somehow I'm afraid that you will be hurt because of me."

"Then what about Ginny? Aren't you putting her in the same spot by getting intimate with her?"

"Why? Jealous?"

SLAP!

"That was uncalled for. I'm not jealous, I'm worried. And if you MUST know, Ron and I are talking about dating. So no, I'm not jealous."

"Then why are you worried about me, now that you have him?"

"You're STILL my friend, like it or not. I can still help you, I can't change your past and I can't change your future if I don't know what you know about it. If I'm in your dreams, and I'm one of those you see…you know, I want to know so I can protect myself."

"I…"

"Come on, out with it."

"I haven't seen you in my dreams, but in one, I saw a Death Eater torturing a girl and calling her a 'mudblood'. You're the only girl I know that's Muggle born. So you see why I'm afraid for you. That's why I've tried to push you away from me."

"Harry, you could have told me this. I understand you're afraid I'm going to be tortured. How long have you had these dreams?"

"All summer, since the Ministry. But I can't see the people clearly, only shapes."

"Then it could be anyone. There are lots of girls that have non-magical parents. You of all people should know that."

She picked up his hand, and rubbed it with hers. "Remember, I'm still here. I'll always be there to help you. And I'm not a dream."

Harry sighed. "But now you and Ron are together, you two won't have time for me."

"Nonsense! Anyway, what about you and Ginny? Didn't I just see you two talking? Didn't she give you a kiss and say 'Night love?'"

"It's not like that… She understands me better."

"Why? Because you two have been spending that last couple days snogging?" she chided him.

"No, because she knows what it's like to have that bastard in her head. You don't, and I hope you never do," he snipped back.

His last statement caught her off guard. She hadn't thought about that, and she felt remorse at her attack. "Harry, I'm so sorry. You're right, I don't know. Maybe I can still help, if you want to talk it out and get another perspective. I'm sorry I had to force you to talk to me. Please don't make me do it again."

"I'll try."

"So, are we ok? Still friends?"

"Yeah, I guess so. You've got every right to be mad. But I don't think Ron will ever talk to me again, especially if he finds out about me and Ginny."

"He'll be happy for you, if you don't hurt her."

"Hermione, can I talk to you about her? I don't know what to do. She said she loves me."

Hermione sat and tried to process what he just said. First Cho, now he's got Ginny, her best girl-friend. Maybe she and Ron could give it a try. "How do you feel about her? Do you love her?" Asking that question seemed so easy to think but hard to ask.

"I don't know how I feel about her. I don't know if I can love anyone."

She had a similar discussion with herself in the last hour, with similar results.

"Harry, I can't tell you how you'll know how to love or be in love, you'll know."

"How about you, are you in love with Ron?"

She again paused to think long and hard about her feelings, for both her friends, "Harry, that's between him and me. It's personal. But to answer you, I don't know either. I love him like I love you. You both are my closest friends. I never want that to change." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, before continuing. "You've given me a lot to work out, and I know you've got a lot on your mind. It's really late and we have an early class tomorrow. Are you going to sit alone in class again, or are you going to sit with me?"

"I… I'll think about it. I don't want to get in the way."

"Don't think like that. You know you're never 'in the way'. Good night, Harry. And remember, to me you'll always be just Harry, not the 'Famous Harry Potter'."

"Thanks, Hermione. 'Night."

The two classmates retired to their dorms for the evening.

- - -

Ginny climbed the stairs and reached the hospital wing in a few minutes, and walked passed the doors, past several other injured students, quietly sleeping to where her older brother lay. Near the end of the row of bed, a screen separated Ron from the younger students. She glided to the other side to find her brother brooding.

"Ron? Everything ok? I came to see how you're feeling."

"Bloody peachy… And what's this I hear about you and Potter snoggin'?"

"That's my business. I came to see you."

"You're my little sister and that MAKES it my business."

"Have you bothered to notice him? Or have you been like everyone else, too self-centered to see he's been in pain?"

"We tried to help…"

"With a couple letters and a telleyphone call?"

"Well…"

"That's not much help, is it? Look, he's very important to me, I love him. I can't stand to see him so depressed. If a little affection helps break his mood and makes him feel better about himself, then I'm proud to give it. After all, you'd be surprised to see how therapeutic a hug and a kiss could be."

"But, does he love you back?"

"No… But that's my problem."

"I won't see him hurt you too…"

"That's what he said, he doesn't want to hurt me, I told him I can deal with my feelings for him, and if he feels the same about me, wonderful. If not, we'll be that much closer friends as we get older."

Ron was shocked to hear his little sister act so mature, willing to sacrifice her feelings and love, especially at fifteen. "I really don't like it. The first time he hurts you, I'll…"

"Hold your tongue, and keep you hands in your pockets, if you know what's good for you. Now all I came here for was to see you and say 'good night'. I'll see you tomorrow."

She turned, and walked past the other students.

- - -

During the next several days, many of those injured returned to the relative safety of the school. Luna returned the day after Ron was released from the hospital ward at school. She still had a noticeable limp, but was assured it was due to the muscles being strained and will go away in time. Only Parvati was still missing. She had wanted to be there for her sister, but the Muggle doctors wouldn't allow it.

"Maybe another week" they said.

During breakfast the morning of Luna's return, the time of the funerals for those killed was announced for the following day, Wednesday. Hannah Abbott's funeral was held near her home, and her family asked it to be a private affair. Her funeral had been little more then a memorial. Since she had been the closest to the explosion, very little of her body had been found in the aftermath. Padma's charred and broken body was to be interned on the grounds at Hogwarts until permanent arrangements could be made. Any student wishing to attend had been given special excuse from classes. The headmaster revised the ruling and suspended all classes for that day after seeing the number of people wishing to attend, specifically all of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. It wasn't surprising though that very few Slytherins requested to attend.

Hermione and Ron sat together. Harry sat next to Ginny, who sat next to her brother. Harry was nervous, since he and Ron were still at odds. And now he was sitting with Ginny as a buffer between them. Ron did not fail to notice his sister had held his hand through the entire ceremony, to both comfort him and keep him from running. Harry wouldn't look at his old friend and hadn't said a single word since they sat down.

Almost the entire school had assembled in the Great Hall, noticeably missing were the Slytherins, although a few had shed their house robes and joined in the back. At the head of the hall sat a simple plaque beside a coffin. The plaque held the names of the two that died at the top, and the names of those injured beneath. Above them all read, 'Lest We Forget' and a poem. Padma's casket was a simple one, silver handles on mahogany. It remained closed, at her parent's request; they wanted friends to remember her as she lived, not as she died. The casket was adorned with fresh flowers around it and a simple bouquet on top.

The headmaster stood to speak to the assembled.

"We have gathered here today to pay tribute to two that have left us; two young women taken before they could enjoy the fullness of life and love. There is not a person here that has not been touched by either of these two young women. I hope their memory will live in each of you that knew them."

"Yes, they are gone, but they have lived here with all of us for five years. Padma has left a sister here in great pain, but despite her suffering she tried to comfort her sister in the moments of her passing. She survives without know why the randomness of the choice of life took Padma and Hannah but left her to continue. Parvati and all those who survived that day need the love and support of those around them- love and support that can only come with the comfort of knowing not one person here will be missed if they were lying in front of us instead of Padma. You can remember them and only that they're gone or you can choose to cherish their memory and let it live on."

"If you choose to close your mind and turn your back to the world we live in, then you have made the choice to forget their memory and lives. Pity if you do. You will be turning your back on your own life and the fullness that I wish each of you live it. Every one of you is special to me, not for what you can do, not for the powers you may or may not possess, but for who you are- each and every one of you."

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!

Deceased

Abbott, Hannah - Hufflepuff
Patil, Padma - Ravenclaw

Wounded

Patil, Parvati - Gryffindor
Lovegood, Luna - Ravenclaw
Weasley, Ron - Gryffindor
Weasley, Ginny - Gryffindor
Thomas, Dean - Gryffindor
Longbottom, Neville - Gryffindor
Chang, Cho - Ravenclaw
Edgecombe, Marietta - Ravenclaw

- - -

The evening dinner was a somber event, the entire student population reflected on the funeral of Padma Patil. All the students sitting at three of the tables were silent, quietly eating what they could. One group, in particular was chatting and laughing as if nothing extraordinary occurred, most celebrating the lack of homework for the evening.

After spending most of the dinner pushing his slice of pot roast around on his plate, listening to the cheerful conversations across the room, Harry had enough. Everyone sitting near him could see the anger growing in his eyes as he stood clutching his wand. He turned to face the group of Slytherins ready to curse the entire table, staring with the worst of the lot.

"LOOK… if it isn't Hairy Potty, the hero of King's Cross…" he heard from the group.

"Awww, he wants to play…"

"ENOUGH! We lost two good people and you're LAUGHING about it? You're all vermin, you all disgust me."

"What you gonna do about it Potty?"

"I said ENOUGH!"

He raised his wand, expecting to point it at the one Slytherin he hated above all others, but Malfoy was not sitting at the table. He re-aimed at Nott, the one chiding him on. His temper was past the boiling point. The laughter at that table had not stopped causing the rage to build. The fire in his eyes terrified many that saw him. He started his incantation with a low guttural growl, "AVA..." At that second, before he could complete the first part of his curse, the Headmaster intervened.

"ENOUGH!"

Harry's concentration broke at the command. "Will EVERYONE please sit? Mr. Potter is correct; the behavior of the entire Slytherin house is abysmal. There will be 5 house points taken for EACH comment made by any member of that house this evening, about our two young victims." The rage Harry was feeling seemed to have passed to the headmaster.

"In addition, each member of the Slytherin house in attendance tonight shall receive 3 weeks detention, one week serving each of the victim's houses. Mr. Potter, your actions at defending the honor of those fallen is admirable, but should not be your responsibility. I must take that blame for allowing it to continue, please take your seat."

All four houses sat stunned at the punishment laid out by the headmaster, as all the students watched the point tally on the Great Hall's wall drop to below zero for the Slytherins.

Harry, still standing at his place, turned to the group at the Slytherin table, looking for the telltale blond haired leader, but never saw him. He shoved his wand back up his shirtsleeve, turned and stormed out the door, past the main doors leading out to the lake. His pace quickened to a run, as he approached a familiar tree, the same spot he witnessed another Potter torment another Slytherin classmate. What he never saw was another Gryffindor close behind him.

There he sat, wishing to be left alone, but Ginny walked to him and sat by his side.

"I should 'a kept my temper, I should 'a kept my mouth shut. Now all those snakes will be after me."

"You'd better watch out for them."

"I will Gin. I don't know what came over me. I couldn't stand another second of their laughing. I wanted to kill them all."

"You weren't the only one, I'm sure others would have done something sooner or later."

"Yeah, right, much later. The lot of you are all cowards, afraid to stand up against a group of bullies like Nott, forget about any of you facing Voldemort."

"Your wrong, I'll stand with you. I'm sure others will too. What about the DA? Are you going to continue running it?"

"No. That was to get us through last year. I don't care about it anymore. Just leave me alone, Gin. I don't need your pity." She pulled his face to hers, and stared him in the eyes.

"It's not pity, Harry you need to open your eyes and look around you, at those willing to stand with you. You need to see those who love you for yourself." She pulled him to her lips and pressed a deep but brief kiss to his lips.

"The same goes for us Harry, except for the kiss…" they turned to see Hermione and Ron standing behind them, followed by the remaining members of the DA from last year. "And I'm sure the same goes for them too."

"No, I can't do it again." He stood to face the growing crowd. "It was too much last year."

"You must. We all learned so much from you last year," Marietta called from the group.

"Well now you have a proper Defense against the Dark Arts professor. I need to be left alone." He turned and ran off from the group.

"Gin, go help him, he'll listen to you." Ron told his sister, finally realizing who's been hurt the most.

She took off after him and caught him at the edge of the forest. The rest had retreated back into the castle.

"Harry, wait for me." He paused for her to catch him.

"Gin, I said I…"

"Yeah, I know… I can't leave you to sulk. I'll give you a choice- sulk by yourself, walk with me, or we can sit by the lake alone. Everyone's gone back."

He took her hand, pulled her close and ravaged her lips with his; she could taste the salty tears that stained his lips.

- - -

The dusk light faded to a brilliant full moon, the two moved to the edge of the lake, and spent most of the time in silence. Her presence and warm touch was what he longed for. They sat and watched the moon begin to set.

"We need to head back Harry, it's getting late."

They walked back to the castle, hand in hand.

Once back, Harry and Ginny bid each other a good night, and left for bed. It was the first time he was going to sleep in the same room as Ron. This thought was worse then facing Voldemort. He had made a relative peace with Hermione, and she acted as a buffer with Ron. That buffer was now gone. He stayed with Ginny as long as he could with the hope Ron would be asleep by the time he retired to bed.

Ron was in his bed, but still awake.

"Mate, you ok?" This was the first time he's talked to his old friend without an attitude.

"Yeah, I'm ok." He didn't want to talk, and he really didn't want to answer any questions about Ginny.

Ron threw the curtains open to face his friend, and swung his legs over the side to sit up. Harry could see the bandages still on his legs.

"How are your wounds?"

"They still hurt. Hermione closed them at the station, to stop the bleeding, but she didn't get all the stuff out. They had to open some of them up again. It hurt like hell."

"I wish I could have done something. It was horrible, the blood, the people." Ron could hear his voice start to break. "There were parts, I saw a child…"

"I know, I was there too."

"Tonks wouldn't let me go. I'll never forgive her for that. I'm sorry I couldn't help."

"It's not your fault. You really need to understand that. I need to ask you, if it's ok. Did you ever read my letters for the summer?"

"No, I was too upset."

"What happened? You were in a good mood when you left the station."

"Vernon."

"Oh. If you told us, we would have come for you straight away. Hermione said she got a letter from your aunt. She said she found bloody towels, what…"

"I got beat up by Dudley's gang. Mundungus was hiding like a coward in the bushes." Ron could tell from his tone he was getting aggravated from the interrogation. He decided to leave it for another time. So far, all Harry had said he found out from Hermione too, with the exception of him not reading the letters.

"Ron, I'm really tired, I'm going to sleep."

"OK, sure, we'll talk later, mate."

Harry closed the curtains, to stop Ron from seeing the pain in his eyes, and the swelling of tears from the memories that were resurrected. He turned over, and buried his face in his pillow, to mute any sounds. Unfortunately he was asleep in a few minutes.

- - -

He was standing in the field outside Hogwarts near the Whomping Willow. He saw a resolve in the face of a man that resembled his father, surrounded by people he knew, but couldn't recognize. He was watching a scene unfold, as if it were a movie.

People began to fade from view, as others popped into view. Nothing was familiar, but everything seemed so real. He looked around the field, saw various clumps of people, flashes of sparks, then her heard screams and moans. When he turned to the direction of the moans, he was blinded by a brilliant blue light, as the scene faded from his view only to be replaced with a more frightening vision,

"NO… Hermione, I can't let you…

"HERMIONE! NOO!

"I wasn't strong enough to save them, I failed them all…

"I-I need to get her help… she's bleeding. I can't let it happen… HERMIONE! PLEASE DON'T DIE…"

"LEAVE HER ALONE… NO!

"HARRY! WAKE UP!" Ron screamed at him while shaking him by the shoulders.

"Huh? Ron? What?" He opened his eyes and saw Ron's eyes starting fill.

"You were screaming… Hermione… bleeding… WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I-I saw her die." He sat bolt up; the fear in his dream flooded his mind. It was always unclear, but this time he remembered.

"HOW?"

"I can't remember. You woke me too soon. I've had this one before, but I never saw her face. I saw…" For the first time, he clearly saw her face, but not as she is today.

"I saw her bleeding. Her blood at my feet. She was hanging in the air, blood ran down her leg."

"WHEN? I won't let that happen…"

"I don't know, Ron, she looked different, maybe a couple years older."

"Who? Who did it?" He choked out his question.

"I… couldn't see a face."

"Shit. PROMISE me Harry, she can't know. EVER! PROMISE ME!"

"Ron, she needs to know."

"NO. I'll protect her. She'll be safe."

"You weren't there."

"DAMNIT Harry, that's NOT good enough. I NEED to know."

"Ron, listen, you weren't there. I haven't seen you or any of your family in any dream. I told that to Gin. But I think it was because you couldn't. Just before, I saw a lot of people, friends, dead and dying."

"Are you saying…"

"I don't know… I've only seen bits. This was the first time I saw a face."

"I gotta know MORE! Damn it Harry… I- I think I'm in love with her."