Chapter 14 - A chilly November
Harry woke two days later, his arm aching from the wound. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to know where he was. His mind was numb from his experience in the chamber, he was afraid he'd wake to see the Basilisk staring him in the eyes. He slowly opened his blood-shot eyes to a blurred vision of a fuzzy brown lump next to him. He tried to focus but realized he didn't have his glasses.
'Duh, I must have been dreaming,' he thought, trying to shake the grogginess from his head.
He reached his arm to the table next to him to retrieve his glasses, where he expected them to be. But his arm couldn't move. He strained to move his other arm, it too couldn't move. He tried to kick a leg off the bed, it too was held fast. The realization he was bound and restrained hit him, "Death Eaters…" he mumbled to himself. His eyes strained at the mass on the bed next to him, and all he could remember was the threats he heard against his friends as the images and the madness from the Chamber flooded his thoughts.
His arm ached as he strained at the restraints, the wound in his arm stinging madly as he pulled. He tried again to move his legs, but they were lashed down. He started to kick and thrash wildly, "LEMMEOUT!! GETAWAY!!!" he screamed.
The mass on his bed moved, came closer. He tried to back away, all he could manage was to move his body a few inches and turn his head. "DONTTOUCHHER! LEAVEHERALONE GETAWAYFROMHER! DON'T…" he franticly screamed as the mass inched closer to his face.
"Harry, it's me, Hermione."
"NO… YOU'RE DEAD…"
'HARRY! I'm NOT, I'm right here!" she screamed trying to bring him to reality, she realized the fragile state he was in, the suffering and torment he's felt became all that more real. Ron stood from his seat and came to the other side of the bed.
"You're NOT her… you're an imposter. GET AWAY from me you BITCH."
"HARRY!" Her tone now was more shock then anger.
"Lestrange, you KILLED them both… GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MURDEROUS BITCH, I'LL KILL YOU!" he spat through gritted teeth.
"Lestrange? I'm not Bellatrix, Harry, I'm really Hermione. Wait…" She picked up his glasses and tried to put them on his face, but he kept twisting his head to avoid her help.
"I'm NOT gonna let you put that THING on my face…GET AWAY!" he snarled as he thrashed madly.
"Ron, hold him."
Ron tried to hold his friend's head still so she could put his glasses on him, hoping if he could see clearly he'd calm down. With his head still, she managed a good look into his eyes. She saw the fear and terror in his mind that sent him over the edge, enough to try and take his own life.
"Harry, mate, it's really us."
"VOLDEMORT… I'll kill you, you fuckin' bastard. You can't do that to my friends and think I'll let you live."
Ron took a step back in shock, wondered what happened to him in the chamber.
She grabbed his face in her hands, and pulled him nose to nose. "HARRY JAMES POTTER, LOOK AT ME!" She yelled at him. "You KNOW who I am. JUST LOOK AT ME…"
He tried to shake his head, and closed his eyes as tight as he could, but she wouldn't let go. All he could do was force a dry spit in her face.
SLAP… She laid one across his cheek, in frustration as well as to try and snap him out of it. "LOOK AT ME, at both of us. It's REALLY us, you're safe Harry."
The sting in his face jarred his memory, and helped him focus through the anger and fear. "H-Hermione? You're a-alive?"
"Yes. You're in hospital. We got you out of the Chamber two days ago. You've been screaming and hallucinating since then and we had to restrain you, but today was the first time you actually woke since your fever broke."
"Fever… you mean it didn't happen? It was so real. My arm… You, Ron, Gin… he tried to… he made me…I thought you were…"
"Calm down Harry, and we'll untie you. You kept trying to tear at your head and arms; you almost opened that cut again. Are you better yet?"
"Yes… I'm… so cold…"
"Here, Mr. Potter, drink this." Madam Pomfrey instructed as she shoved a vial into his hand. "It SHOULD work better then a slap across the face."
Hermione gave a sneer in retort.
He calmed down quite a bit after he drank the vial; his head was still swimming with images and distant emotions of grief, loss and pain. He closed his eyes, and tried to focus his mind to clear his thoughts.
"You went through an amazing trauma, Mr. Potter. I'm surprised you survived. Of course if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have, now would you?"
"They got me out? I remember being in the Chamber, and the voices… Hang on, how DID you get in the chamber? I thought I was the only one that could open the bloody thing."
"Technically, you are, since Voldemort can't get in the school. But there is someone else that opened it a few years ago."
"Ginny? But how could she remember?"
"Hermione had Snape make a memory potion. We used that to have her open it like she did five years ago."
"Then you all were there?"
"Yeah, we were, they are still exploring the chamber, since this was the fist time anyone else had gotten in." Ron added.
"Harry, are you ready to tell us what happened in there? You were… almost…"
"Mate, you lost so much blood, how'd your arm get that gash anyway?"
"I, ummm… I'm not sure. I think I did it."
"Why? Why would you do something like that? You almost killed yourself." Hermione's tone was of deeper concern then he's ever heard, not scolding, like she usually was, but more frightened for his safety.
"I don't remember any of it, really… I remember talking to someone in my head. And I fell asleep. That's the last thing I remember until now."
"Harry, what ever it was, it must have been really horrible for you. Your scar, it, was bleeding. It's never done that before, has it?" Ron asked.
"That's quite enough for now. He needs to rest before I'll let him back to classes." Madam Pomfrey ordered the group away. "Here, drink this, and you'll be fit as rain in the morning."
- - -
Harry stayed in his dorm room most of the next week, claiming to be too weak to attend classes. In reality, he was still too scared to be seen; mostly to be seen with his friends. Ron and Hermione tried to coax him out of his seclusion. Ron had been able to watch over him after classes and at night, in case he had another breakdown.
A full week after his release from the hospital wing, nearly two weeks since Halloween had passed, Hermione had enough. One evening after he again refused to go to dinner, she climbed to the boy's dorm room, and being a prefect she was allowed, threw the door open and slammed it shut behind her. Before he could react, she pointed her wand at the door and "Colloportus" the door sealed itself with an odd squelching noise. Harry jumped to his feet at the sudden disturbance and reached for his wand.
"ACCIO HARRY'S WAND!" His wand flew from the nightstand to her hand. She closed the gap between them, coming nose to nose. "Now, Harry Potter, you're going to explain to me why you've been acting like a total prat, EVERYTHING. I WON'T let you weasel your way out of this. As I said EVERYTHING!"
Harry knew he owed her an explanation, but even though she was one of his two best friends in the world, she was the last person he wanted to confide in. He'd rather have Ron, or Ginny, even Dumbledore. She was always so judgmental, so bossy. And now she pushed her way into this last domain of refuge.
"Hermione, I can't…" He stepped back to avoid her anger, knowing she had a mean right hook.
"Oh yes you can. Think I've forgotten the hurt you caused? Think I forgot what you said? I haven't pushed you before, but now you're going to talk to me."
"But, I really can't, I can't remember what you're talking about, really."
"You don't remember what you called me?"
"I'm sorry, I wasn't right in the head last week."
"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the summer."
"Hermione, I'm sorry for this summer, I truly am. I'm sorry for anything I said, I hope you can forgive me. I really can't remember, I was, am, still… not really, fine about things."
"The word is depressed. You've shown all the signs of clinical depression recently. You needed to share this with us a long time ago. Didn't you notice things got better after you opened up to Ginny and got worse when you shut her out?"
"That's NONE of your business," he growled.
"Yes, it is, Harry, you and Gin are friends and I won't let one destroy another. The point is you're on a self-destructive path. I won't allow it."
"YOU won't allow it? Who the hell are you to say that?" She could see his rage building, she knew he was having problems controlling himself, but she willed herself to do what ever it takes to help him.
"I am your friend, I use to think one of your best friends, but after this year, I don't know, I'm beginning to think I really don't know you anymore. But, I won't allow you to hurt yourself anymore, and I won't allow you to keep this bottled up any more. WE won't leave this room until I'm convinced this behavior will not continue."
"Look Granger, you can't keep me here if I don't want to stay here. I want that door OPENED NOW!" He raised his hand to point at the door; and it flew open. Both teens stood slack-jawed at the open door.
"How did you do that? I sealed it. I have your wand. How could you do that?" She was genuinely surprised and puzzled.
Her puzzled look drew his attention from his momentary anger. He stepped back to the edge of his bed and stood staring at her. His mind and heart raced, both to the bursting point. He was afraid of being called a freak, even in the wizarding world. He was afraid she would think he was a freak. This was not normal, even for him. Her concerned look helped to take the edge off his anger and rage.
"I'm not a freak…" he muttered under his breath, as he balled his fists.
"Harry, I know. You're not a freak." She began in a soft, understanding tone, "but Colloportus isn't that simple a spell to break…" She again closed the gap, to show she wasn't afraid of him and to put his mind at ease. "When did you first discover you could do wand-less magic? This is really big, does anyone else know?"
"I-I first did it before I came here when I was at the zoo for Dudley's birthday, and again when I blew-up my aunt Marge." He slumped onto his bed, looking down to his feet. "Last summer I thought I did it again, and Mundungus took credit for it, but I didn't believe him. You're the only one that knows, I think."
"You need to keep this secret and practice it until you get really good with it. It's a powerful weapon. You should talk to Dumbledore about it. If you could control it, maybe that'll give you the edge you need over 'him'."
"You don't know how much I want this to just be over." He said still staring down an imaginary hole in the floor.
She kneeled down in front of him, and lifted his chin off his chest.
"It's time Harry. Talk to me, please." She handed his wand back to him as a show of trust.
"I'll tell you what I can. There are some things I don't think you should know, for your own safety."
"Just tell me what you can, then. I really want to help you."
"Wait," he scurried to his trunk, and began mumbling, "Where is it… I knew it was here…"
"What are you looking for?"
"I had some things locked away. Where is it, I can't find it. I bought it that day in Diagon Alley. Shit, it's gotta be here. It's a personal Pensieve. I couldn't take certain memories any more."
"Did you lose it?"
"I think I lost it at the beginning of the term. It was charmed to ward off bad feelings. It's how I survived the rest of the summer."
"You sure it's here? ACCIO Pensieve! " The small silver object flew out from under his dresser into her hand. "Is this what you're looking for? Really Harry, sometimes I swear you forget you're a wizard."
He took it from her hand and placed it on the desk; she followed him and stood at his side. "I haven't opened it since summer, but there are some things in here I don't know if I should show you. Aperire Cogito Sospito Marauder's Map ." The face opened in its iris shape, reforming the bowl form. He slipped the wand from the side and held it out. "Now, you can look into it, or I can put them back and tell you. Your choice."
"Let me see them. Not that I don't believe you. But I don't think you want to remember them."
She sat at his desk and looked at the first; it was the chance meeting at Diagon alley. She felt the tug on her arm as Ron grabbed Harry in the memory, then she felt a sharp sting on her cheek. "OW… Sorry Harry, I guess I do have a good punch. You and Ron really did get into it, didn't you?" She made a mental note to ask about that one line 'You don't have to kill or be killed, I do' later.
"That's just it, I can't remember it. When you pull out a memory, it leaves a gap where it used to be, so you know something's missing. I don't remember everything you're seeing."
"Hmmm… The next is the phone call. You sure you don't remember?"
"No. I was hoping to find a way to destroy them, I've been happier without them."
She listened to the conversation, this time objectively, knowing his frame of mind at the time. She cringed when she heard him call her 'mudblood', but kept watching as she saw him collapse to his bed and replay the entire conversation back to himself, déjà vu, she thought. Then she felt his regret and began to understand why he said it.
She saw the next memory, the night Sirius died, the night she was wounded at the Ministry last June. She never actually saw him fall through the veil, only a brief description from Harry that night. She watched as she felt his heart tear open at the loss. She was beginning to understand him better then she ever had.
She looked up. There was one more memory left. "Harry, I'm truly sorry. I didn't know. You should be the one angry at me for forcing you to do this." She said in almost a whisper.
"Umm… Hermione, which ones did you see?"
She told him the three she saw.
"Hermione, there's one more left. It's going to be hard for you to hear."
"The prophecy?" Hermione said nervously
"Yes, the prophecy. I don't remember it, which probably saved my life in the Chamber when he read my mind. Go ahead and listen to it."
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...
born to those who have thrice defied him,
born as the seventh month dies...
And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal,
but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...
And either must die at the hand of the other
for neither can live while the other survives...
The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord
will be born as the seventh month dies...
She listened intently, and when it was done she looked horrified and as if she was going to start crying. "Oh... Harry..." Hermione said. "I didn't know it was-" Now she knew what he meant and why he wasn't himself, she knows he can't kill, it's not in him.
"Well now you do, maybe now you understand. The problem is, now you're a target, if anyone finds out you know." He tapped the small wand to the bowl and repeated the spell; it closed and pulled the wand back in, recreating the pocket watch. He walked to the bed, slipping the watch into his pocket, leaving her at the desk.
"Now, do you want to know what happened in the Chamber? Why I broke up with Ginny? She is a target too, I knew as long as she was around me she wasn't safe. It wasn't fair to her, I know how she feels about me, but I don't, I can't feel that, for anyone."
"I think I'm beginning to understand." She whispered, as she stood and walked to where he was sitting, taking a seat next to him. She put her arms around him in a tight friendship hug, muttering 'I'm so sorry...' over and over; he felt his shoulder begin to moisten through his sweater from her tears.
He pushed her away, and looked into her eyes. "Hermione, there's more I haven't told anyone, except Ginny; because it didn't involve her until I was in the chamber. He knows about you, Ron and Ginny. He's going to try and hurt you too."
"I'm not worried, as long as we all stick together. He can't get us all. We're stronger then he is."
"No, I saw… the explosion… and more. He's going to kill again, soon. He used it again… the… umm… Did any one get the dagger that was in the chamber?"
"No, there wasn't a dagger there, we searched carefully. What does that have to do with the explosion?"
"It doesn't, I saw it in my dreams before I was in the chamber, and I think it's important."
"We can ask Dumbeldore if they found it while they were searching the chamber, it's been closed now, but maybe if we ask him, we can go back and search, if it's that important."
The thought of going back in the chamber both excited and frightened him, he wanted to find that dagger, and destroy it. He knew that object was tied to her safety and he wouldn't allow that vision to come true.
"Hermione, I'm sorry for being, well a prat and jerk. I don't expect you to forgive me; I must have said some things that are locked in that thing I know I regret." He pointed to his Pensieve. "I'd like to forget more then what's in there. I wish I could just forget all this and live a normal life."
"Harry, of course I forgive you, I understand now why you were like that over the summer. I wish I had all the answers for you, but I don't. Please, you're important to me, because you're my friend, not because of some prophecy, and certainly not because you're 'the famous Harry Potter'. Don't hide like that again, please." She put her head back on his shoulder, and laced her arms around his neck. "I couldn't take losing you."
"Hermione, please, promise me something. Swear you'll never tell anyone my secret. He'll come after you, I know it. Please, it's important to me that you're safe, that you all are safe."
"I promise, only if you snap out of your funk. What about Ginny? You've told her all this too, right?"
"Well, no, I haven't. I couldn't find this," he held up the pensive "until tonight. And it completely removed those memories, so there's no way I could tell her any details."
"Then you're right, the fewer people that know about the prophecy, the better for them."
"Yeah, I just wish it wasn't about me."
"I understand. I will always be there when you need me, I promise. You and Ron are my best friends, and I've missed you two. Ron's been, well distant lately."
"I think since your last fight with him, he's been hanging around Luna and Ginny."
"I know." Sigh... "Anyway, will you be at class tomorrow, or will I have to drag you out of here?" she said with a forced playful tone.
"Yes, Hermione, I'll be there," he said as he rolled his eyes.
"Then, good night, see you in the morning, Harry. History is the first class tomorrow, so it should be light."
She left Harry with a better outlook then he'd had in months, actually feeling relieved that he could share his burden and not have to worry about it.
Hermione spent a good bit of the night busily documenting the events of that evening, paying careful attention not to reveal the prophecy in case her diary were discovered and her spells broken.
Her dreams that night reflected the images she saw from his memories, the phone call, their meeting in Diagon Alley and also of Sirius .
The following morning, Hermione rushed to the common room, not expecting to see Harry waiting, but there he was, with Ron. It seemed that he was finally trying to grab the hands that have been reaching out for him.
"Good morning Harry. Ready to get started?" She asked.
"Well, could we eat first? I'm starved." He replied with a forced grin.
"You're beginning to sound more like me, mate. I'm famished too." With that the trio left for the Great Room for some breakfast.
"How are you feeling today, Harry?" Ginny asked with genuine concern the second they sat at the table.
"Better, thanks."
"You had us all scared for a while. Don't you EVER think of doing that again. Do you have ANY idea how bad that potion tastes?" She gave Harry a glare that reminded him of Molly.
"Ginny, let him be, he's just getting back to his old self. OK?" Ron cut the conversation short.
"Gin, really, I'm fine, just hungry."
"Our first class this morning is in half an hour, its History of Magic. So let's get ready."
"Good old Hermione, keeping us on track." Ron muttered. "OWW! What was that for?"
"I heard you, Ronald."
"She's grown your temper 'arry," Seamus whispered across the table.
- - -
"Good morning class today's lesson is on the great witch hunts of the middle ages from the mid 1400's to the 1800's to include those Muggles persecuted incorrectly as witches or wizards Please turn to pages 1293 in your text to follow the lesson…" Professor Binns began his lecture, droning on about the class material. The class was accustomed to tuning him out after he announced the pages for the lecture. His lectures were especially difficult to follow, due to the fact he was a ghost, and never needed to pause for a breath.
Harry took his normal seat that he vacated early in the term, again sitting with Ron and Hermione. She was listening intently, while following in her text and writing every word he said. Ron and Harry both flipped through the pages as the lecture progressed.
"…it was in this time that some members of the wizard community left to live in the Muggle communities hiding their skills from the local villagers at the same time many of the wizarding villages we now know were formed by members of the wizard community that wished to bond together for mutual safety many of those in these villages remained pure bloods as there were no outside interactions with Muggles in those villages but the wizards and witches that went to live outside began to marry into Muggle families which many believe was the beginning of the blood line society we now…"
"Hey Harry, has he ever stopped for a break?" Ron whispered to his mate.
"…which brings us to the first of the witch hunts in the middle of the 15 th century where many witches and wizards living in Muggle villages were viciously beaten and tortured some to death to confess their craft and to be put to death using barbaric means including beheading and burning at the stake which some wizards enjoyed with the help of burn-proof spells..."
"And when will he actually tell us something interesting and useful?" Ron whispered.
"Shhhh… some of us may be interested in history, Ronald." Hermione scolded.
"Sorry, just prod me when he's finished babbling."
"…One of the more famous was that of a brother and sister that lived apart with one in a wizarding village and the other as a Muggle where she was attacked and forced into a confession renouncing her craft to escape death but doing so caused her to lose her powers and skills and those of her descendants forever but in doing so she added a secret clause that stated when in a time of great need one will be born with all things lost restored creating the legend of the lost witch."
Hermione's head snapped up at the unnatural break. "He's never paused before. This must be important." She whispered to Harry, as Ron was close to falling asleep.
"Professor," Hermione asked hand waving in the air, "what were their names? The brother and sister?"
"Their names are public record, as is the names of those that persecuted them." The ghost answered.
"Hey Hermione, going on a witch hunt of your own?" Ron asked under his breath.
"Maybe…"
- - -
Since he found his charmed 'pocket watch', his nightly visions had mellowed and become peaceful. He continued having more unusual dreams, but none of these seemed threatening to him or his friends, they were just strangely peaceful. He had more dreams of that chubby elf, with dark cloaked figures, but could not make out the language they used, nor did any of it seem real.