by Jardyn39
Chapter Fourteen: Often Soothe We
Harry knocked on the door to Professor McGonagall's office out of habit, even though he knew there was no one in there.
He opened the door and stepped inside.
Harry smiled seeing the portrait of Professor Dumbledore still standing in the middle of the room.
"I'm sorry to keep you waiting," he said, closing the door and approaching.
"Not at all, Harry. Draw up a chair, won't you?"
Harry smiled and drew in the air with his wand. The fine gold leaf late Regency chair rotated once and then gently dropped to the floor. Harry sat, easing himself into the fine scarlet upholstery.
He looked around the room and realised there was something missing.
Harry turned back to see Dumbledore watching him kindly.
"Where have all the other people in the portraits gone?"
"I asked if we might be permitted a few minutes to speak alone, Harry," admitted Dumbledore. "One of my portraits now hangs in The Hog's Head, just next to the new Ten Pin Bowling attraction. I suspect they've gone to soak up the atmosphere."
Harry snorted.
"So, Harry. You know? I see a very different young man before me than the last time we spoke."
Harry gave a sad smile and nodded.
"I very much regret being the one to have told you. I knew that the decisions you made that night would have a far reaching impact."
Harry shook his head, his throat beginning to tighten.
"At one stage, I was quite convinced you would never recover sufficiently even to enter the forest again. I should have known better than to underestimate you. It's a good job Aberforth let me off my betting debts when I died!"
Harry smiled and looked down.
"Do you believe yet, Harry?"
"Yes, well, kind of. I mean, I know I had no choice but to go straight after Voldemort on the night."
Dumbledore waited a moment before saying gently, "Go on. Start from the beginning."
Harry struggled to find the words. He got up and began pacing the room. Upon his first return he realised why Dumbledore had instructed his Portrait to be placed where it was. He obviously knew Harry would pace and talk, as he had done himself on countless occasions.
"When I first entered the forest," began Harry, "I was confused for a moment, but then I was absolutely sure I really was reliving that night again."
"Naturally."
"I heard Ginny's scream first. It was far off into the distance. I honestly can't remember whether I heard it on the night or not. Anyway, last night I hesitated. Just for a moment, I knew everything what I was experiencing wasn't really happening. Then, once I'd decided what to do, I kind of forgot that again."
"The mind is indeed a complex thing."
"I came across Neville first, and we set off to find Ginny together. I'm afraid I did some terrible things to those Death Eaters. I was punishing them for what they did on the actual night. They hadn't actually got started when I interrupted them."
"Go on."
"Neville stayed with Ginny, and I went on," said Harry, his eyes beginning to water.
He wiped his eyes and sat down again.
Dumbledore waited patiently.
"It wasn't real before," said Harry, his voice cracking. "I honestly thought my troubles were all from what happened to Ginny. My guilt at not helping her that night."
Harry didn't bother wiping the tears away now. He was gripping both arms of the chair intently.
"I knew. I mean, I know how many died that night. I even remember walking through all the bodies on my way out of the forest. Okay, I missed the funerals being in hospital, but once Professor McGonagall told me, I knew."
"Harry," began Dumbledore gently, but Harry jumped up and began pacing again.
"I was so angry with them! How could they be so stupid? They knew I went in there alone precisely to keep the casualties down. They had no chance!"
"So, what happened last night?"
Harry fell heavily to his knees before Dumbledore's portrait.
"I just kept fighting. Almost the whole time. I just kept trying to get them to safety and kill as many Death Eaters as I could."
"Did you succeed, like you did with Ginny and Neville?"
"No," replied Harry, his voice raw with emotion. "They kept dying. The worst of it was, they kept diving in front of killing curses intended for me."
They were quiet for a moment as Harry continued to sob.
"Did you manage to save any of them?"
"No. It was the same as before. Two hundred and fifty three students dead, except this time I saw each one die."
"It's just not fair!" he shouted at last. "It was supposed to be me! I was supposed to be the one to die, not them!"
"Harry, you were prepared to give up your life for a cause you believed in. You believed that sacrificing you life was a price worth paying for the rest of us to live a life worth living. Your friends died believing in a similar cause. They didn't go to their deaths in order to save you, they did it to improve your chances of success, didn't they?"
Harry nodded and wiped his face.
"I only realised last night, but they drew away large numbers of Death Eaters. I really had it easy dealing with the reduced numbers on my way to find Voldemort."
"I doubt it was that easy."
"No, I would never have coped with the numbers of Death Eaters that were in the forest that night."
"Harry, tell me about what happened after you dealt with Voldemort."
Harry nodded. He knew Dumbledore was going to ask him that. He got up and sat down again.
He was about to answer when there was a knock at the door.
Harry removed and wiped his glasses on his robes and blinked back the tears. Before he could see clearly again he recognised it was Hermione.
"Should I go?" she asked quietly, half hiding behind the door.
Harry immediately held out his hand for her, and she came over to him at once.
Harry clutched hold of her hands and she sat down on the floor next to his chair.
Dumbledore just waited for Harry to continue.
"I, er," began Harry with a very shaky voice, and he suddenly realised he was squeezing Hermione's hand rather tightly. He released his grip slightly but she kissed the top of his hand and brought her other hand over his, holding on just as tightly.
"Um, okay. After it happened I came back to my body," said Harry. Hermione frowned at once but Dumbledore gave her the slightest shake of his head to stop her asking what he meant. "I went over to Hermione. She was stunned but unhurt."
Harry took a deep shuddering breath.
"Well, on the night I carried Hermione out of the clearing, but there was a lot of Death Eater activity. I decided to take her back to the clearing where I knew she'd have some protection at least. I hid her at the edge, well hidden under some undergrowth."
"But why didn't you revive me?" asked Hermione in a whisper.
"I just couldn't bear to," Harry replied. "I couldn't let you face me then, not after what I'd just done."
"I disabled quite a few Death Eaters on my way back until I found Ginny and Neville. After that I stopped stunning them and started killing.
"Last night was almost the same, except this time they didn't stay down. They kept getting up again and just following me. They weren't fighting; they just followed, talking to me."
"What did they say?"
"They kept asking why I had killed them. Some said they had no choice but to follow orders. Many pleaded what would happen to their families. Who would support their children? Wouldn't they just grow up wanting revenge? Wouldn't they ever know love and happiness? Who would guide them and teach them values?"
Harry stopped, panting slightly, his eyes betraying that he was still remembering vividly what he had seen.
"As a matter of fact, Harry," Dumbledore said gently, "a large number of the students that fought and died, were children of Death Eaters present in the forest that night."
Harry looked up.
"I'm sorry, but I don't feel much comfort from that."
"I wouldn't expect you to. Harry, the Wizengamot chose to proclaim your actions to be one of a hero. They will never bring you to trial for what you have done. Nevertheless, I believe what you did was wrong and excessive. I don't doubt that some, indeed many, of the Death Eaters out there that night were quite beyond redemption. However, you knew that night that they weren't all Death Eaters. Many were frightened conscripts, but you judged them all equally guilty and punished them accordingly.
"Last night, you were judged, Harry. Not by the Wizengamot, but by a far harsher, more impartial judge. I refer to yourself, of course.
"I can't help but feel that Voldemort won something in your actions that night. I do not say this lightly, and I know that in your place I would have been tempted to do the same things myself.
"The forest is quite a remarkable place. It is far more ancient than many give it credit for and has seen many atrocities, some far worse than what happened that night.
"The fact that you walked out of the forest again last night, Harry, tells me you will make amends. The forest would not let you go if it saw denial or excuses. I know, Harry, because I too was brought back here to face up to my own actions on a night a very long time ago.
"I left with a new sense of value for life in all its varied forms. That entails tolerance of others, respect for differences and the promotion of peace. For me, that entailed a significant change in lifestyle. I suspect that you will not need to experience such upheaval, or rather, you've already made the start you need."
"Does it ever leave you? The feeling, I mean."
"No, Harry. But it does get easier with time and achievement. I always felt that welcoming the students back each September gave me the greatest strength to keep fighting the demons back."
Harry sighed deeply.
"Mr Royce was kind enough to tell me about the box you transfigured for Stratford. He thought that a padded container with a window view was quite eccentric to transport a skeleton, especially considering what he was and had done."
Harry looked up again and nodded.
"He wasn't sentenced to suffer like that."
"You make me proud to hear you say that. I understand Mr Agnellina actually stands a very good chance of making a full recovery. He's at St Mungos now. Apparently the snake that bit him had venom with healing properties as well."
"I'm glad," said Harry.
"I take it you won't be pressing for additional charges to be brought?"
"No, but I may have a word with him once he's got a little better."
"Harry," warned Hermione.
"Just a friendly chat," he assured her with a wry smile.
Dumbledore cleared his throat and asked, "There is one other matter we should perhaps discuss."
They turned to him expectantly.
"Harry, I suspected that Hagrid intended to invest you as Keeper of the Keys, and I must admit I may have given him the idea in the first place."
Harry nodded.
"However, I didn't think Hagrid knew anything about the additional protection that can sometimes be afforded to the bearer."
"Actually, Hagrid found out about it from the Centaurs when we tried to recruit them. They were trying to taunt him by telling him he didn't even know what the Keeper of the Keys really was."
"You were present?"
"Yes. I'm sure Hagrid wouldn't have told me given the choice. We argued for quite a while before I agreed."
"Why did you agree, Harry?"
"I fully intended to invest Hermione with the Keys. I couldn't take the chance."
"Indeed. Well, what's done is done," said Dumbledore with resignation. "I suppose it would do no harm now to tell you, but I had an entirely different motive for wanting you to become Keeper of the Keys. Hagrid intended you to have protection, but it would never have shielded you from Voldemort."
"But, I saw last night, Professor," said Hermione. "Voldemort fired a killing curse at me, and I survived."
"I meant, it would never have protected Harry."
Harry's eyes widened with understanding.
"Um," asked Hermione, "so was what I saw last night actually what really happened, at the beginning, I mean?"
Harry shrugged and said, "Well, it sounded fairly similar at the beginning, but actually, we didn't end our duel in that clearing. You see-"
"Harry," Dumbledore interrupted gently.
"Yes. I'm sorry, Hermione. I gave my word not to say."
Hermione frowned at both of them.
*
Hermione looped her arm around Harry's as they walked away from Professor McGonagall's office.
Harry was deep in thought. He was grateful that Hermione chose not to interrupt, although he knew that she was probably burning with questions.
They had walked a little way when Hermione asked, "Harry, where are we going?"
"What? Oh, sorry Hermione. I've no idea."
Hermione smiled and said, "It doesn't matter. Let's walk some more."
"Actually, I'd quite like to freshen up."
"Sure, let's go back to the apartment."
"No, Myrtle's bathroom is closer. Let's nip in there."
"Okay," agreed Hermione as they set off again. "Oh, you missed George earlier."
"George?"
"Yes. He said sorry but he couldn't stop because he had another delivery. I said you'd understand."
"Um, thanks. Why was he here, though?"
"No idea. He was hurrying to leave when I saw him."
*
Harry walked into the classroom at precisely five o'clock that evening to find Ron and, to his surprise, Carmen as well. They were sitting at a couple of desks in the front row.
"Carmen? Did you get a detention too?"
"No, but I do feel a little responsible. You asked me to look after Ron, after all."
"You taking this detention, Harry?" asked Ron.
"That's right. I asked especially."
"Great! You'll let me off, won't you?"
"No, Ron. But you may go if you wish, Carmen."
Carmen picked up her bag, but then hesitated.
"What is it, Carmen?"
"Well, it's just that I found out that man, the zombie, was Professor Agnellina. I didn't recognise him at all in the Great Hall. We only found out after you'd all gone."
"That's right. It was him."
"I really hated him, but what happened to him was awful."
Harry smiled reassuringly.
"Yes it was. But thanks to Hydrus' venom he stands a good chance of making a recovery."
Harry had asked Hydrus about the healing properties of his venom, and he was a little unnerved to be told that it was just to prolong the agony of his victims.
"But, the thing is," she continued quietly. "When I first heard who it was, I just laughed. Then I felt just awful."
Harry went over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. Suddenly she appeared very much like the frightened little girl he'd met all those years ago.
"We all react and say things we later come to regret. Try to remember your feelings though. Sooner or later you will upset someone close to you. It's important to recognise those times and do something about it."
Carmen nodded and smiled.
She turned on her way out and shouted, "'Night Ron. Behave yourself now!"
The door closed and Harry turned to Ron.
"You're not going to make me do lines, are you?"
"No, Ron." He replied sitting in Carmen's vacated chair. "You don't really have to do the detention. I just wanted a word with you before you go."
"Oh. Sure, Harry. What is it?"
"First of all, Hermione has signed you up for a course of further education magic. You'll do part time and evening study. All of us will help you do your homework, so you'll soon be back to your old self."
"Thanks, Harry," he replied, sounding less than optimistic.
"I promise it won't be like school and there will be plenty of other people in the same boat as you."
Ron shrugged.
"The second thing concerns what happened last night in the forest."
Ron looked up.
"I saw what happened to you Ron. There's nothing you could have done. I don't think I could have coped being trapped in that hole and utterly defenceless."
"Yes, well," mumbled Ron.
"My point is, I shouldn't have needed to actually see what happened. I should have just trusted that your reaction was enough.
"Ron, I am truly sorry for not being there for you."
Ron smiled sadly and said quietly, "I know you are, mate."
Then he continued normally, "Of course, I'll expect you to make up for it in the quality of my Christmas and Birthday presents."
Harry laughed and said, "Fine, but I'm afraid Hermione controls my spending these days."
Ron snorted.
"Um, Ron? Just what did you get the detention for, anyway?"
"Passing notes and writing inappropriate comments in my textbook."
"Who were you passing notes to?"
"Luna, of course!"
"Oh, well that's okay then. Whose textbook had you borrowed?"
"Hermione's. From Third Year, I think."
"Show me?"
Ron handed Harry Hermione's immaculately kept charms book.
He opened the cover and couldn't miss the, "Cannons Rule!" comment.
"She's going to kill you. You know that, don't you?"
"Me? Nah!"
"Maybe we can erase it," said Harry, getting out his wand.
"Nope! Carmen made it permanent for me."
"Ron!" Harry moaned in exasperation. "Okay, perhaps I could buy her another edition. It would have to be from the same print though. Hermione notices things like that."
"She's also written something inside the cover."
"Her name. Yes, I saw. Maybe we could forge it."
"You might want to take a closer look, Harry."
He frowned, but opened the book again as directed. It looked completely blank apart from Ron's scrawl.
"Carmen found it. Touch it with your wand, Harry."
Instantly the multicoloured, animated and flashing message appeared.
"Wow!" he breathed.
*
Harry hurried along the corridor within the staff accommodation area towards their apartment. He hoped he would have time to shower and change before joining the others for dinner.
He opened the door, leapt inside and slammed the door behind him, struggling to pull of his robes on his way to the bathroom.
"Harry, do you have to throw your clothes all over the place?" asked Hermione in an amused voice.
Harry put his arms down to reply, his shirt still over his heat. Through the material, he could see that something was different about the room. He pulled his shirt down again.
Unfortunately his words came out as a garbled croaking noise that he made when he saw the room properly.
"Do you like it?"
Harry couldn't speak.
"Dobby did a quite remarkable job, didn't he?"
Harry looked around.
"Harry, breath," instructed Hermione, sounding amused. "You're going red."
He breathed, but didn't feel much better.
"What on earth got into him?"
"Now, we did ask him to decorate for us, didn't we? You mustn't go and hurt his feelings. I'm sure he thought we would like it, particularly given your recent obsessions. Perhaps he just got carried away."
Harry walked over and around the various obstructions in the room towards Hermione and sat next to her on their single item of furniture.
"I'm not sure I'm ready to look at the other rooms yet," he admitted.
Hermione leaned over and kissed him before snuggling up to him.
"This room is actually rather relaxing," said Hermione, "once you get over the initial shock."
"At least nothing has started singing yet," observed Harry.
"And the babbling brook is quite a talking point."
"I wonder how much wildlife has moved in with us as well."
"I haven't seen anything, although you occasionally hear birdsong in the distance."
"Vacuuming is going to be a problem, especially in the autumn when all these trees begin to shed their leaves."
Hermione laughed. "Maybe it is all a bit much for one small room."
"Where have all the bookshelves gone?" wondered Harry.
Hermione sat up straight. This was serious. "Where are my books?" she demanded urgently.
She shot up and went over to where the shelves were, kicking over a small branch lying on the floor.
Harry spotted a small white envelope that must have been propped against it and facing the other way. He picked it up. The envelope was addressed to him.
Harry opened the envelope and took out the single sheet of paper inside. He unfolded it and realised it was an invoice made out to him from Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes.
"Er, Hermione, I don't think Dobby decorated for us."
"What?"
"Look at this," he said handing her the invoice.
"One portable forest," she read aloud. "Harry, why on earth did you order a portable forest?"
"I didn't, Hermione. Look at the customer order reference."
She read again.
It read, "mucker at Conifer Farm."
"So now we know what George was doing here earlier. How did he get in here, anyway?" asked Harry.
Hermione wasn't listening. She fumbled around in her bag, still staring at the piece of paper.
"What is it?" asked Harry.
"I think it may be an anagram, Harry."
Harry paused before saying, "We know someone who likes anagrams, don't we?"
"Yes, and you can make Carmen from some of the letters. That leaves muckeratoifrf."
Hermione placed the parchment she'd just drawn on onto the couch and the both kneeled in front of it to look at the remains of the anagram.
"You really should get a desk, Harry."
"What if it says from Carmen?" asked Harry.
"Good idea. Yes, that works."
Hermione crossed off four more letters to leave uckeratif.
"No way!" shouted Harry, taking the quill and writing the full answer out.
"Fruit cake from Carmen!" read Hermione, bursting into laughter.
"How did she get it in here?" asked Harry, before laughing too.
"I think she got you this time, Harry. Don't worry though, the other rooms are unaffected. Go on, you need to hurry of we'll be late for dinner."
"The others stayed then?"
"No, we're all invited to the Burrow. Molly and Arthur want to celebrate Ron's return properly. Hurry up!"
Harry stood and pulled her to her feet before wrapping his arms around her.
"I'm really sorry for how I've been over the last few days," he said gently.
"I know, Harry."
He leaned in and kissed her, before taking her hand and gently pulling her towards the bathroom.
"Harry, we're going to be late again!" said Hermione, smiling at him.
"I know what you drew in your textbook," he announced with a grin.
"What book?"
"The Third Year Charms book you loaned to Ron."
"What? Oh, that!" she replied, going red.
Harry smiled and continued pulling her towards the door.
"It was just a phase I was going through," she said with half a laugh.
"You got over it then?"
"Oh, yes. He really just annoys me these days."
"You really got over him, then?"
"Well, almost. For a while, anyway."
They closed the bathroom door behind them and didn't see the portable forest, having been timed to dispose of any evidence of itself, vanish in a series of flashes and dull bangs. As the uneven woodland floor was again replaced with the familiar worn and moth eaten carpet, the couch shifted slightly and dislodged the small book that had been balanced on the arm.
The book fell open onto the scarlet cushioned seat, and the magic that filled the room appeared to touch the book.
An animated ink drawing appeared inside the front cover. A poorly drawn but nonetheless quite recognisable boy with scruffy dark hair and wearing spectacles walked into the garland of colourful flowers that made up the border. He was hand in hand with another drawn figure.
The silent girl appeared to be pointing and laughing, drawing the boy's attention to the small piece of paper lying next to the open book.
In its top right hand corner, the invoice now read, "Sheet One of Two."
The boy grinned and nodded in understanding. He gently brushed aside the girl's long wild looking hair.
The room fell quiet again and gradually, as the figures moved closer to kiss, the ink sketch faded so the two figures could enjoy their privacy once more.
END
-
Well, that's it! Thanks for reading.
Note: Yes, "Often Soothe We," is (of course) an anagram of, "Sheet One of Two." Actually, in retrospect I think I prefer the alternative title, "We Tote of Hones!"
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Update 4 April 2007:-
Belated thanks to pstibbons for recommending this piece on the Portkey Recommendation Engine. Much appreciated.
The completed sequel to this story is called "The Shoebox"
Summary for The Shoebox:
Harry continues his first year as a Hogwarts teacher but it is his new involvement with Further Education classes that reveals some disturbing developments at the Ministry. Meanwhile, as one shy and reclusive student pursues a secret obsession in the castle, another frightened youth hides deep in the Forbidden Forest. Neither knows of the other, but they are destined to meet before an innocuous shoebox and share The Boy Who Lived's final secret. This post-Hogwarts story is a sequel to Journey Home.