Disclaimer: Yay! New characters! Kate von Strassberg, Georgina Vance, Sophie Sinclair, Grace Gould and Nate Ford are my brainchildren and ought not to be stolen. All of the other stuff belongs to J.K. Rowling and the publishing companies and whatnot.
Chapter Four: Fugly Flowers and Boy Bred Befuddlement
(Chapter's Song: 'Life and Love and Why' by Switchfoot)
"Lily, you really need to throw those out already! They're making a mess and they've gotten fugly," said Georgie, pointing at my flowers.
It's been two weeks since James sent me the bouquet of pink and yellow roses and they still sat on the vanity. My room mates have been complaining for the past couple of days now, whining about how dead petals and dried up pieces of flower have fallen below the arrangement, creating a rather unattractive mess on top of people's brushes. Plus my poor flowers are already wilting and completely dried up.
"Okay, fine," I said, banishing the roses and their remains. "I'm not even sure why I've kept them for this long. And really, Georgie. You have to stop saying 'fugly.' It's getting annoying," I said.
"I think it's funky. 'Fugly.' Just say it. Besides, it beats saying 'fucking ugly,' don't you think?" said Kate, sticking a barrette in her hair.
"Well, whatever. I'm just glad that the fugly flowers are gone," said Georgie, winking at me when she said it.
I rolled my eyes. "You're such a bitch."
Georgie swept into a curtsy and smiled. "Never forget it."
Sophie came out of the bathroom just then, her hair straight for today. "Ooh, yay! Lily got rid of the flowers! They were really getting fugly," she squealed.
"Aah! Enough with the fugly!" I groaned, flopping back on my bed. "Let's just go to breakfast already. Please."
We gathered our books for the morning and headed downstairs to the common room.
"I really don't get what the big deal is with 'fugly.' It's not bad at all," said Grace.
"I don't know. There's just something about the word that's… off. Maybe it's because it sounds kind of sharp and ugly," I suggested.
"You mean it's fugly," said Georgie smugly.
"Ugh, fine. Whatever. I don't even know why we're debating over a stupid word," I said as we sat down at the Gryffindor table.
"Holy zig zags, did you know that it's already October?" said Sophie.
Kate rolled her eyes. "Soph, it's been October for almost half a week now. But yes, it is weird that we're so far into the school year already. It's almost as though school started two days ago, yeah?"
She, like the rest of us, ignored Sophie's weird expression. You should see what else she's come up with… Crazy ostriches, holy moly rolly polly olly, funky far out and totally über duber, etc, etc.
"Don't even remind me," I said. "That only means that the workload's going to get infinitely worse in a matter of weeks. Come November, we'll forget what it looks like outside."
"But then the Quidditch season starts! You can't forget about Quidditch!" said Georgie enthusiastically.
"Of course not," I said seriously. "It's one of the highlights of the year. Forgetting about Quidditch is like forgetting my birthday!"
"Speaking of which, guess who turns 17 soon!" squealed Kate.
"You're ancient," said Grace. "Almost as old and mossy as Stone Henge."
"Oh my god, don't look now, but I think that there's a wrinkle on her forehead," whispered Sophie, pointing.
"She needs Botox ASAP," whispered Grace, nodding along.
"A boob lift wouldn't be bad either. Look, she's sagging already," said Sophie.
"Oh, honestly, you two! You're going to be seventeen not too long after me!" said Kate, throwing up her hands.
"Katie, when are you going to go to the Ministry and get your Apparition license?" I asked. At that moment, my owl Oleander landed next to me and dropped a letter from her beak.
"I don't know. Probably over Christmas holiday though, I can tell you that much. Who's the letter from?"
I looked at my name written on the envelope and immediately recognized the handwriting. "My dad," I said simply. I tucked the letter into my bag for safe keeping to read later during lunch.
"Come on, poops. Lovely McGonagall awaits us," said Georgie, after sending her large package from home to the dorm.
"Do we really have to go?" whined Kate as Grace heaved her up.
"Miss Evans, please pay attention!" said Professor McGonagall sharply.
I looked up from my drawing and flashed her my teacher's pet smile.
McGonagall turned away and continued her lecture on transfiguring one animal into another.
I sighed and looked down at my piece of parchment with a sketch of Kate's hands and her pretty sapphire ring. I'm going to have to ask Remus if I can copy his notes later.
All of a sudden, I was assaulted with several pieces of balled up parchment hitting me in the back of my head.
I whipped around in my chair, sending an angry glare at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, all trying to look innocent in their seats. James was staring at me with an amused smile playing on his lips. He mouthed 'go on' and gestured towards the parchment.
I rolled my eyes and opened up the pieces of paper.
'Lily, you're an angel in disguise,' said one of them, written in Peter's hand.
'You take my breath away with every shoe that you buy,' said Remus's.
'Please throw me into a broom closet and savagely rip my clothes off with your teeth,' said Sirius's. I rolled my eyes at him, and he grinned at me and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
'Meet me at the greenhouses after dinner,' said James's. I looked up at him and saw that he was watching me. I nodded subtly and then turned my attentions back to class.
"What'd they say?" whispered Kate, barely moving her lips and keeping her eyes on McGonagall.
I passed her their notes under the table wordlessly. "James wants to see me after dinner," I whispered back, sighing wistfully.
Kate looked at me sharply. "You're not falling for him, are you?"
I shook my head vehemently. "God no. I don't like him that way, you know that. We're not even friends."
"That's not the impression that I got when you stumbled into the common room soaked to the bone two weeks ago," said Kate.
I blushed. "That's only because I realized how hot he really is."
"Oh, Lily. Don't do this to yourself. I know how you are with boys. James… Don't let James get to you," she said.
I nodded. "I'll try."
Oh Kate, what would I do without you? You always know what I'm thinking and can predict my every move. Seriously, if Kate didn't watch my back all the time, I'd probably be sent off in a thousand pieces jumbled up in a crate to St. Mungo's with a letter sending me to the closed ward for life.
The rest of the classes and the day in general passed by in a blur. It was one of those days where you feel like you're having an out of body experience, you know? Like, you know what you're doing and what you're thinking and all of that, but your mind just isn't there. Maybe it's because today's a Wednesday or something, I don't know.
Dad's letter sort of brought me back to reality. It wasn't really anything important, just letting me know how things are going at home, at work, etc, etc. He'd been living in London recently, since both Petunia and I are away at school and being in the country was just too lonely for him. He asked me if I'd found anyone worthy of bringing home for Christmas, which made me blush and I couldn't help but think about James. Am I really falling for him? Given my past history with guys, it wouldn't be the first time I'd fallen for a guy just because he's showing me some attention and has a pretty face to boot. Maybe Kate's right. Maybe I am letting James get to me, more than I know.
I shook my head to clear my mind and wrapped my sweater tightly against the draft in the hallways. All of a sudden, a pair of arms whirled me around into their owner's body and enclosed my lips in a kiss.
I immediately recognized the boy's scent, his body and his kiss and relaxed into him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He hungrily took me in, tangling his hands in my hair like he so often used to do. The days of snogging and wild parties rushed back into my head and I smiled inwardly. I'd missed him over the summer. Maybe… No, I can't bring him home. That would be too weird. I'm not even sure if I still like him, at least, not as strongly as I did last year.
We broke apart gasping for breath and I looked up into his green eyes, darker than my own but more intense and emotional.
"Hey," I smiled, kissing him chastely on the cheek, but keeping my arms around him.
"I've missed you so much," said Nate, pulling me into a warm hug.
"How've you been? Seventh year as gruesome as it's rumored to be?" I asked him, taking his hand and continuing my journey to the greenhouses.
Nate let out a cross between a snarl, a growl and a moan. "The amount of work we're getting is insane. I miss the good old days, back when the workload was much easier. Be happy that you're still in sixth year. NEWT year sucks. Lil, it would've been so much easier if we were in the same House."
I laughed. "Nate, we'd fail out of Hogwarts if we were in the same House. You know that as well as I do. Besides, how would it look if our Head Boy was mixing business with pleasure? Prefect meetings would be unbearable."
"They already are, love," said Nate, kissing the top of my head. "Where are you off to, anyway?"
"Hm? Oh, I'm going to the greenhouses. James asked me to meet him there earlier," I said, blushing. Thank god we're outside and it's dark. I don't even know why I'm blushing. I mean, it's just James! It's not like I'm interested in him. After all, I have Nate, one of the most sought after guys in Hogwarts!
"James…" said Nate thoughtfully. "James Potter? Captain of your Quidditch team?"
"He made Captain?" I asked.
Nate laughed. "Lily, you're so out of it sometimes."
I smiled sheepishly. "Well, you know me. Totally spacey."
"But completely brilliant," said Nate. "Well, here you are." We kissed one last time, and he wrapped his scarf around my neck for extra warmth. "I'll see you later, Lily."
I smiled and pushed the door open to one of the greenhouses and immediately the scent of hundreds of plants and flowers assaulted my nose, making me dizzy and sending my head spinning.
I spotted a head of black hair down by the assortment of wizard flowers.
"Ahoy there!" I called out to him when I was within hearing range.
James looked up at me and smiled, his eyes never leaving my face as I approached him.
"You're wearing a Ravenclaw scarf," he said flatly, motioning to my neck. The smile fell off of his face with incredible speed and it was as if it was never there.
"So I am," I said, my happiness immediately ebbing away and my defenses kicking in. "Why did you want to see me down here?" I asked, cutting straight to the point.
"I just… I wanted to… You know what? Never mind," said James, suddenly angry.
I narrowed my eyes and stared at him. "No James. What did you want to see me for? And why the hell are you suddenly angry with me?"
"Never mind, I said! You just," said James, motioning to my scarf again. "You're still with him?"
Oh, so it was all about Nate now, was it? "Yes. And frankly, it's none of your business to know who I date and why. I don't need to explain myself, and to you, of all people! James, we're not even friends! What right do you have to question my choices?"
James immediately looked hurt, but then his face hardened and he stood up straighter. "Fine. Sorry I even asked. Excuse me, I have somewhere else to be." He walked past me, making sure to bump my shoulder with his on his way out.
I closed my eyes and counted to ten, thinking about my mum's banana bread and my dad's scent of pipe smoke. I opened my eyes and I knew that they had changed back to their original light green color instead of the darker tones that they must've had during my exchange with James.
I sighed and sat down on a nearby bench and dropped my head into my hands. Just another example of why it's always bad if we plan our meetings. Things are never going to change between us. I admit that much. For every advance that we make, we're always going to have to take two steps back for one reason or another.
I sat up properly and looked around me. The windows of the greenhouse were fogged up and the lights overhead beat down mercilessly. I took off Nate's scarf and held it in my hands, staring at everything that it represented. It's funny how a single article of clothing can speak volumes about one person… In my peripheral, I saw a splash of color protesting against the uniform green of the room.
An abandoned arrangement of yellow fire tulips, irises, and white oleanders lay on the ground, scattered as though dropped in a hurry. I bent down and picked them up and saw that the normally small blue flame in the tulips swelled and became pink when I looked inside. I furrowed my brow. The flame normally doesn't change color…
I brushed aside the thought and gathered my things and the flowers, ready to put them in a vase back in the dorm. I quietly laughed to myself. Hopefully they won't be deemed fugly once placed in the room.
"Hey Lil. How was your meeting with James?" asked Kate, who was sitting at the bureau with her brush in hand.
I sat down on the end of her bed and looked at her through the mirror. "Judging by the way that you just asked me, I think that you already know." I sighed and got up to put my flowers in the blue vase.
Kate turned around and studied me while I moved about the room. "Was it as bad as usual?"
I sat down on the bench next to her and smiled. "No, it wasn't. All that happened was that I went into the greenhouse, he saw my scarf, well, the scarf that I was wearing and he got upset. We exchanged a couple of words and then he left." I smiled ruefully. "At least I didn't hex him this time."
Kate laughed and shook her head. "Wait, your scarf?" she asked, looking up.
"Yeah," I said, sighing. I took Nate's scarf off from around my neck and gave it to Kate to hold.
Kate folded it and placed it in her lap and smiled. "How is he?"
I smiled back at her. "As irresistible as ever. But, I don't know. It's not the same as last year, you know? Maybe it's because I haven't seen him in such a long time or because I've changed or something, but I just… don't feel the same around him anymore."
"Well, that's good. At least now Grace won't have to perform her anti-hickey charm on you every couple of hours and you won't just randomly disappear in the middle of the night," said Kate, laughing.
I laughed and shook my head. Hey, I may be a romantic, but I'm no prude. "Anyway, yeah, I don't know. You know what I mean?"
Kate nodded, understanding my cryptic way of speaking. "I know, honey. Just take your time. Oh and before I forget, here," said Kate, getting up and walking to the desk.
"When James came into the common room, he looked really upset. Anyway, he conjured this and told me to give it to you. He knows what your favorite flower is?" she asked, arching her eyebrows.
I reached out and accepted James's flower and held in my hands another one of his perfect white tulips. I smiled, immediately touched. "Yeah, I guess he does. And it's sort of become our symbol of peace."
All of a sudden, Georgie bounded into the room with a gorgeous blue coat on.
"Hey poops!" she cried, twirling around in front of the mirror. "You like?" she asked, gesturing towards the jacket.
"Me likey," said Kate.
"And look! The best part is that it looks like I'm not wearing anything under it! I could totally pass off as a flasher," said Georgie happily, quickly opening up her coat to reveal that she is indeed, wearing her uniform underneath.
"Is that what came in the box this morning?" I asked.
"Yep. And look, Mum sent me these, too!" said Georgie, pulling a pair of brand new black snakeskin heels out of her trunk.
"Oh, shut up," said Kate, who has a huge shoe fetish, grabbing a shoe out of Georgie's hand and examining it. "What's the occasion?"
"Promotion at work. She's the new style editor of Siren, so now she gets a ton of free stuff," said Georgie, whirling around.
"Alright, well, I'm exhausted, so I'm going to get ready for bed," I said, picking up my pajamas on the way to the bathroom.
The truth of the matter was that I wasn't tired at all. After climbing into bed, I laid awake until well past midnight, going in circles in my head.
Do I still like Nate? Should I keep on leading him on the way I am now? I mean, I hadn't even thought about him until he kissed me tonight. And what about James? Why am I suddenly thinking about him all of the time?
I sighed and got up to go down to the common room to think. It's times like these when I really miss my mum. She would've been able to help me sort out this mess and realize what it is that I'm feeling, even though it's all silly, trivial boy stuff. I thought about Mum's comforting words and her soothing voice and the way that she always made everything seem infinitely better, especially with a cup of her famous tea.
I curled up on a couch and wiped my eyes as I stared at the dying fire.
"Lily? Is that you?"
…..
Take away from me
This monstrosity
'Cause my futile thinkings
Not gonna solve nothing tonight
…..