Chapter 3: Home is Where the Heart Used to Be
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Whenever dawn turns to night,
And the dreams sing their song,
In the daylight forever,
To you I belong.
- To You I Belong by B*Witched
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When Lily stepped off the plane, she wasn't certain where to go first. She had no idea where to find everyone. She sat on a bench, her luggage on the floor next to her, thinking. Isabelle was dead, there was no way in hell Sirius, Remus or Peter would let her stay with them, she couldn't face James right away, nor did she want to talk to her parents, they would be a last resort. She went through her list of friends, and then one friend came to mind. Alice. She sent the letter, so she might let her stay with her. She went outside and stuck her wand arm out. Instantly, a purple bus came screeching to a halt in front of her. The door opened and a man in his twenties stood on the step, a small child next to him.
"Welcome to the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard. Just stick out your wand hand, step on board, and we can take you anywhere you want to go. My name is Steve Shunpike, and I will be your conductor this evening." Steve knelt beside the child.
"See Stan, that's how you do it. Be nice and polite, and the passenger will be happy." The child grinned and clapped his hands. Lily smiled and started to climb on board as Steve picked up her luggage. Lily sat down in a chair a few rows back from Ernie the driver, and Steve said as he dropped her luggage,
"Where are you headed, Miss…?"
"Evans, Lily Evans."
"Lily Evans? I didn't recognize you, you haven't ridden the Knight Bus in years."
"Yes, I've been away for a couple years."
"Well, it's good to see you agin. Whereabouts are you going?"
"I'm not sure exactly where she lives now, but I'm looking for Alice Haysing's house."
"I don' know any Alice Haysing."
"Somewhat tall, brown hair, blue eyes, was one of my friends, she's traveled with me before."
"I know an Alice Longbottom, could that be `er?"
"Longbottom…Longbottom…" Lily muttered the name under her breath.
"Frank Longbottom. Yes, that's her. I'm almost sure of it."
"Alrigh' we'll take ya there. Take `er away Ern." The bus gave an almighty lurch, and it was speeding through the countryside.
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An hour later, Lily was standing outside Alice's front door, hesitating to knock. The Knight Bus had left, and she was standing alone. She finally knocked and waited patiently for someone to come to the door. No one came. Lily turned from the door and started walking down the sidewalk, getting ready to bring the Knight Bus back, when someone opened the door and she heard,
"Lily?" Lily turned around, and saw her school friend standing in the doorway. Lily smiled weakly.
"Hi Alice."
"I can't believe you came."
"Neither can I, but here I am. I'm back. For now." Alice came to her and they hugged.
"Well, it's good to see you again."
"And you too. So, Mrs. Longbottom, what's new?" Alice smiled.
"I see you finally married Frank."
"Yeah, I did."
"Are you happy?"
"Of course I am. Are you?"
"What?"
"Are you happy?"
"Yeah, I'm happy in America," Lily said in an unbelievable tone.
"You don't sound like it."
"Well, I haven't been really happy since I got your letter."
"I know, neither have I. Listen, what are you doing here anyway? I can't believe that this is the first place you'd go when you come back home. I thought you'd maybe go to your parents first, or see James and the rest of the Marauders."
"I don't want to see my parents just yet, the Marauder's probably wouldn't let me stay with them, and I can't face James, Alice."
"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't really have the room for you to stay here either." Lily looked up at the huge two-story house, and raised her eyebrow at her friend. She said sarcastically,
"Yeah, I see you're strapped for space."
"No, it's just that…Frank's parents are coming this evening, and…they take up a lot of room." Lily could tell she was lying, but she decided to let it be.
"Well, where would you suggest I go?"
"I gave you suggestions, go to those places. Just don't be so stubborn and conclusive over something you don't know for sure will turn out the way you think." Lily sighed.
"Fine."
"We'll get together some time Lils, I promise. But I gotta go, so I'll see you later."
"Bye." Alice went back inside, and Lily sighed, angry once again with her friend. She pulled out her cell phone and called home. She waited three rings and got her parents answering machine.
"Hello, you've reached David and Rose Evans. We're off on a cruise of the Caribbean, and we won't be home till the 31st. Please leave your name, number and a brief message after the beep." Lily hung up and sighed again. She apparated to Sirius' house. She knocked, and it was a while before he came to the door. It took Sirius a second to recognize his best friend's ex-girlfriend. Once he realized who she was, his jaw dropped.
"Oh my God, Evans?" Lily again smiled weakly.
"I see you're back to addressing me by my surname."
"Old habits die hard. What are you doing here?"
"Alice sent me a letter about Isabelle."
"Oh. So, it takes the death of one of your friends to bring you back?"
"I know I should've come back sooner, believe me, I somewhat wish I had."
"Somewhat? You don't wish you had? Why didn't you?"
"I didn't want to return to the past."
"That's a bunch of cliché bull shit, Lily."
"Well it's the truth. Actually to tell you the truth, I was scared. Scared to come back to everything."
"I've never known Lily Evans to be scared of anything."
"Well, that Lily Evans you knew is gone, I don't even know that girl any more."
"You know, you sound like a prissy Yankee bitch."
"What did you call me?"
"You heard me. You're acting like the Lily Evans that used to hate my friends and me, therefore you're a bitch, you talk like you're better than everyone else, and your accent makes you sound like a goddamn Yankee. You've been in America too long."
"I can't believe I even thought I might be welcome to stay here."
"Go home to your parents, they probably don't even know you're here."
"No, they don't, because they're on a cruise. So I can't go there."
"Go see if James'll take you back."
"There is no way in hell I'm going to see him. If this is the welcome I get from you, I definitely don't want to go see him."
"He probably wouldn't want to see you anyways." Lily turned and left, and apparated to the last person on her list of possible places to stay; she hoped would take her in.
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"Lils, what are you doing back here in England?"
"Alice sent me a letter about Isabelle."
"Oh. Well, it's good to see you again. Come on in." Lily walked in the house and set her luggage down so she could give Remus a hug.
"I have a huge favor to ask you, Remus."
"What's that?"
"Can I stay with you until the funeral? I have no where else to go."
"If you want to, you're welcome here."
"Thank you. Nobody seems to be glad to see me around here." Lily said as she and Remus sat down at the kitchen table.
"Well, you haven't come off good with everyone since you left."
"I know; it's my fault, I know."
"Who have you seen since you've been back?"
"Alice and Sirius. My parents are on a cruise, and I know I'd get the door slammed in my face if I even considered asking my sister and brother-in-law if I could stay with them."
"What about James?"
"I don't want to stay with him. I can't face him yet, or ever again for that matter."
"I think he might want to see you again, I don't know, I haven't talked with him about it in two years. Actually, come to think of it, nobody's really brought you up in conversations that much over the past two years." Lily said sarcastically,
"Well that makes me feel loved."
"Have you talked about all of us to any of your friends in America?"
"No."
"See, don't bitch that we don't talk about you, when you don't remember us."
"Ok, I'm not in the mood for a lecture, Remus." Remus fell silent, though he looked like he wanted to keep talking. They were silent for a while, until Lily broke the silence saying,
"How is James anyways?" Remus shrugged.
"He's an Auror now, he lives in Godric's Hollow, he bought the house he grew up in when his mom and dad died…"
"James' parents are dead?"
"Yeah, they were murdered." Lily's jaw dropped.
"How?"
"The Killing Curse, by Voldemort."
"When?"
"About a month after you left."
"Oh my God, I can't believe they're gone. How is James handling it?"
"He took it hard at first, but he's slowly on the mend. For a while, he wasn't even himself. I remember him saying, `First Lily, now my parents, what else am I going to lose within the next year?'" Lily cradled her head in her hands, trying to keep from getting angry with herself for leaving. `No, it's not your fault they died so soon after you left, you had nothing to do with it.' Then why did she feel so horrible about it? Lily hadn't spoken in a while, and Remus said,
"Lily? Are you all right?" Lily shook her head.
"No, I feel like shit. Why do I feel so bad about this?"
"Because you should, you left him." Lily laughed to herself; Remus was always so blunt. She looked at her watch and saw it read 7:30.
"You know, I've had a long day, and the time difference is starting to catch up with me. Where shall I be staying?"
"Up the stairs, second door on the left. Bathroom is the first door on the left."
"Thanks. And thank you again for letting me stay."
"You're welcome. Good night, Lily."
"G'night, Remus." Lily took her bags upstairs to the spare bedroom and set them on the floor. She changed into her pajamas, and flopped down on the bed. She rolled onto her side, and suddenly she couldn't help it, tears flowed down her cheeks.
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Lily woke the next morning refreshed and energized at 10:00. She heard voices downstairs, but they were muffled so she couldn't make out who they were or what they were saying. She crawled out of bed and opened the door. Whoever Remus' guest was, they were in the entry way still. Lily heard Remus say,
"You'll never guess who's back." The other person must've shrugged in response, because Remus answered,
"Lily's back." Then Lily heard a voice she thought she'd never hear again, one that made her face go pale at the sound of it.
"Lily? As in my Lily?" James asked.
"She came here last night looking for a place to stay. Apparently, everyone kicked her out."
"I can't believe she's back. Has she changed any?"
"Physically, no. But she's got this attitude of `why is everyone mad at me' kind of thing, like she doesn't know."
"What brought her back?"
"Isabelle's funeral. You ready to see her again?"
"I don't know." Lily peeked around the corner and saw Remus, James and Sirius standing in the entryway. Sirius looked up and spotted Lily. She silently gasped and disappeared around the corner.
"I don't know what I'll say to her when I see her."
"Just keep your temper."
"When have I ever lost my temper with Lily?" Sirius and Remus laughed. Remus said,
"You're kidding, right?"
"Ok, since Lily and I were going out, when have I ever lost my temper with her?"
"Well, sometimes, but all that was before she turned down your proposal and left you."
"Where is she?"
"I think she's still sleeping."
"No, she's not," Sirius said, "She's been eavesdropping from the top of the stairs for the past ten minutes." All three of them looked up at the stairs at Lily, who sheepishly appeared from around the corner. The sight of Lily once again took James' breath away. She stood there in her yellow spaghetti strap tank top and blue pajama bottoms, her crimson hair up in a messy ponytail, her green eyes stood out brightly though they were full of dread and regret. Lily stared at the man who she once loved, who she had been through so much with, who she talked with about everything, who she hadn't seen in so long. She finally decided to say something.
"Hello, James."
"Hello, Lily."
A/N: HA HA HA HA!! I'm evil I know, but I just had to put the end here, get y'all reviewing!!!! I'll try and update as soon as possible, but not until I get at least twenty reviews!! I have eleven already, and I'll post when I get twenty. Thanks to y'all who reviewed, and thank you to the ones who are about to review!!
Husker-fan-2006
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