Chapter 5: The British Girl in Me
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Whenever dawn turns to night,
And all the dreams sing their song,
In the daylight forever,
To You I Belong.
-To You I Belong by B*Witched
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The days leading up Isabelle's funeral, Lily spent mostly at Remus' house. She didn't feel like going anywhere, though she did go have lunch with Alice on Saturday.
"Lily, are you sure everything is ok with you, you don't look so well."
"How so?"
"Well, you look tired." Lily laughed.
"In other words I look like shit."
"I didn't say that."
"Anyways, I know I look tired, I am tired, I can't get used to this time difference again."
"Again?"
"Yeah, for months after going to America, I couldn't sleep until the wee hours of the morning, then sleep till one." Alice laughed, Lily had noticed she was kinder and more like the friend she remembered as she talked more with her.
"So, how long have you and Frank been married?"
"One year, two months, and twelve days." Lily laughed.
"What? I can't get over the thrill of being married. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world." Lily shrugged.
"I wouldn't know, but I can try to imagine."
"Well, hopefully you'll know this feeling too someday, Lils." The talk of Lily getting married made her remember the proposal two years ago, which made the features on her face darken. Alice sensed that's what she was thinking about and said,
"Lils, you got to stop thinking about it, it's in the past, you're over it, James is over it, there's no need to feel guilty about it. The more I thought about it, the more I see it from your point of view. You always said you wanted to go places and see things, travel, then come back home and settle down. I can see why you turned down James' proposal, you felt as though it would tie you down, and you wouldn't be able to fulfill your dreams."
"Ever since I came back, I keep thinking how different my life would've been had I married James. I'd be living here, probably with a son or daughter, feeling trapped." Alice nodded in understanding.
"Despite all that, Lils, I still would've liked to see you two get together. Everyone always thought you two were meant to be. That you would marry each other, and have kids, and grow old together."
"At one time I did too. Remember how much crap Remus and Sirius would give James about trying to steal me away from him?" Alice laughed and nodded.
"Sirius always said that you'd end up with him in the end, you were just going out with James as a way to get closer to him."
"Yeah, and I was going to have his kids and everything, have little Sirius Jr.'s running around.
"You still set on the names you had picked out when you were going out with James?"
"Yeah, as long as they go with my husband's last name."
"Faith Gabrielle would go with lots of names, but are you sure you still want to name your son Harry James?"
"Good point. But anyways, it doesn't matter right now anyway, I'm not going out with anyone anyway, I thought I met someone to go out with, but then an owl showed up in my apartment. I can't escape from magic I guess." Alice shook her head.
"I've been thinking lately. About kids' names and such. I've been thinking about it a lot ever since I got married."
"Is this a sign of a secret you're keeping from all of us, Mrs. Longbottom?"
"No, no. I'm not pregnant. I've just been thinking about it."
"Ok, what would you name your kids then?"
"Well, Juliet Lynn for a girl, and maybe Neville Lee. What do you think?"
"Good strong names. Whenever you have kids, Alice, make sure you give them good strong names that'll stick. So they can make something of themselves. I think Neville and Juliet are very strong names. Your children will go places and do great things. Who knows, your son may be destined to defeat Voldemort or something." Alice laughed.
"Lils, power is hereditary. Your son would be the one to defeat Voldemort if anyone."
"I'm not…"
"Shut up, don't say you're not powerful, cuz' you know you are. Here's what I predict. I predict that your oldest will be a son, so powerful that he will intimidate all the evil wizards in this world. And you'll give him a name worthy of that power."
"Ok, Professor Mavis, who's this husband of mine to aid in creating this all powerful child?" Alice smiled a knowing smile.
"You'll name him, Harry James…Potter." She laughed at the look on Lily's face.
"I'm not going to marry James, Alice. It's over between us, there's no going back. It's ancient history."
"You never know. History sometimes repeats itself."
"It'll never happen. I promise you."
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The next morning, Sunday morning, the day before Isabelle's funeral, Lily came down the stairs and into the kitchen where Remus was already sitting at the table, eating breakfast, drinking coffee and reading the Sunday edition of the Daily Prophet. Remus looked shocked to see his temporary roommate up and awake before eight in the morning.
"Good morning!" Lily said brightly, all traces of her American accent gone.
"Good morning, you're up early."
"Last night was the first night I got to sleep at a decent hour, I fell asleep at eleven, and am up and ready to go early in the morning."
"Nice to see you got your accent back, Lils."
"Deep down, there's still the British girl in me. Being here for a few days has brought it out in my voice."
"So what are you up to today?"
"I don't know yet, I'll decide when I get there."
"How long are you planning on staying here?"
"I don't know yet, why, do you want me to leave?"
"No, I'm just curious."
"If you want me to leave, I will, Remus."
"I never said that, Lily, don't put words into my mouth."
"Ok, ok, sorry."
"You shouldn't assume, Lily. You know what happens when you assume." Lily grinned, remembering the well-known saying between the Marauders.
"It makes an ass of u `n' me." They said together and laughed.
"Sirius, James and I were going to meet up with Peter today, you want to go along?"
"You sure I'm welcome?"
"Of course you are, Lils."
"Then ok, I'll go along. It'd be good to see Peter again; I haven't seen him in so long."
"To tell you the truth, we haven't really seen him that much lately either. He's been acting weird, really jumpy and paranoid," Remus shrugged, "But then, Peter's always been weird." Lily nodded in agreement.
"Where are you meeting him at?"
"Diagon Ally. At the Leaky Cauldron." Again Lily nodded.
"What's he been up to lately anyways?"
"I have no idea, the last time I saw him was at an Order meeting, and that was a while ago."
"Order meetings?"
"Crap, I'm not supposed to mention that to anyone outside of the Order."
"Well, what is it?"
"I shouldn't tell you."
"Please, I promise I won't tell anyone."
"It's a secret organization of people joined together to defeat Voldemort. Each member has a certain job to do for the Order, usually dealing with his or her regular everyday jobs. Dumbledore started it years ago."
"Why hadn't I heard anything about it?"
"We didn't find out about it until after we had graduated. All four of us Marauders are members."
"Who else is there?"
"I can't tell you that."
"Why not?"
"Well, I could, but then I'd have to kill you." Lily smiled.
"Ok, fine then don't tell me."
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"Peter, it's so good to see you again."
"It's good to see you again Lily. I hear you've been living out the last two years as a muggle."
"Yeah."
"Finally coming to your senses and returning to the wizarding world?"
"For a week at least. So what have you been up to lately?" A flicker of fear crossed Peter's face, but was gone as quick as it came, so quick that no one noticed it.
"I've been busy with work and Order business." Lily nodded.
"How about you?"
"Busy with work. Too busy almost. I'm sorry, we're forgetting you three."
"No, it's alright." The five of them talked about many things, mostly reminiscing about the past, but all too soon, it was three o'clock, and Peter said he had to leave. Once he left, Sirius made a face.
"He's been really busy lately. I mean, this is Wormtail, come on, since when is he too busy to see his friends?" Lily shrugged and said,
"We're not in school anymore, Sirius. This is the real world, people have to keep busy. It's not all pranks and mischief anymore."
"But pranks and mischief is so fun, and there's nothing that says that since we're out of school that we can't have fun."
"I agree with Sirius on that," Remus said.
"I do too," James agreed.
"Well, so now what do we do?"
"Just hang out for now, until dinner when we all have to decide what to have."
"A very long and strenuous process."
"Like carrying out any thought in a Marauder's head," Lily said, grinning. The Marauders all looked at her insulted, and Lily said, trying to sound innocent,
"Oh, did I say that out loud?" She laughed, and seeing that Lily was joking, the guys joined in too.
"Ok, you three, to fix the predicament of dinner, tell you what, I'll make dinner." The Marauders looked at her skeptically. Remus said,
"You cook?"
"Yes, I cook all the time." James shuddered.
"Last time I ate your cooking, Lils, I swore that if I ever saw it again it would be too soon."
"Oh come on, it's not that bad. I've had no complaints about my cooking in the States."
"Well, they're Americans over there, they're weird that way."
"No, I mean my food used to be crappy…"
"There's an understatement." Lily rolled her eyes at James and continued as though he hadn't interrupted her.
"But I've gotten better. Just try it, if you don't like it, then I'll pay for take-out." The three men thought about it.
"Where are you going to attempt this great feat?"
"Who's willing to risk their house?" There was silence until…
"I guess you can use my house, we'll have dinner there," James said. Lily smiled.
"Thanks James."
"Just don't burn it down. I'm quite fond of my house." Lily smiled.
"I won't burn it down, I swear."
"You also promised to love me forever, but look how that turned out." Lily's mood changed as quick as lightening.
"You can't hold that against me, don't you dare hold that against me. Because if you do, then I shouldn't take to heart any promises you make either because you also promised to love me forever, and now it's a broken promise." James held his hands up in surrender.
"Ok, ok, I'm sorry. Just calm down, Lils." Again there was silence, until Sirius broke it along with the tension.
"James, haven't you learned yet not to anger it? You don't want to give her reason to burn down the house." Lily laughed, mood back to normal again. James smiled and shook his head. Soon after, everyone went their separate ways until 7 o'clock that evening.
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James was sitting in the living room of his house writing out Auror reports on potential Death Eaters to be turned into Dumbledore at the next Order meeting. He heard a knock at the door and went to go answer it. Lily stood on the other side, grocery bags in both hands. She smiled when James opened the door.
"Good evening, Mr. Potter. I've come to make a mess of your kitchen."
"Good evening, Miss Evans, please don't make too much of a mess, and leave my house in one piece." Lily laughed and started to come in the door, but James stopped her and took the grocery bags from her. Once in the door, Lily shut it and slipped her sandals off her feet. `Typical Lily thing, I can't believe she still does that.' Lily noticed James watching her take her shoes off.
"What?"
"Nothing, I just can't believe you still do that."
"Well it's not something I grew out of. It's a habit to take my shoes off the minute I walk in the door, I hate wearing shoes." James smiled and headed towards the kitchen. Lily followed him into the extremely large kitchen, and James set the bags on the counter.
"Did you have problems finding the place?" Lily shook her head.
"I've been here before, James, I may have been gone for a while, but I haven't forgotten where you live."
"Well, the kitchen's yours, have fun. Call me if you need anything."
"I will. Now shoo." James left, and Lily pulled out ingredients for what she hoped would be the best meal she had ever made.
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James went in an hour later to check on Lily, bringing his papers with him. When he opened the door, he saw Lily standing on the counter, looking on the top shelf of a cupboard. She heard James come in and looked over at him.
"I'm not making a mess, my feet are clean, and I put a towel down just in case."
"What are you looking for?"
"A big bowl. I did a search with my wand, and I found that it's in this cupboard."
"It's a glass one way in the back."
"I see it. I just can't reach it." She stood on her tiptoes and reached for the bowl.
"There, I got it." She backed up from the cupboard, but the towel was slick on the counter and she fell backwards. She tried to grab onto something but she couldn't grasp anything, she screamed and waited for the collision with the floor, and her body to be broken into pieces, but it didn't come. She landed in something soft and warm, the pressure under her knees and her back. She heard the bowl shatter on the tile floor, and she slowly opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was a very worried looking James. He had caught her.
"Are you ok?"
"I think so, oh my God, I was so scared." She buried her face in his shoulder. James set her on her feet, and held her close.
"It's ok, Lils. You're ok. It's just a good thing I was there." Lily sighed and looked up at James. Green eyes stared into hazel ones, and they both started to slowly lean as to kiss, but Lily caught herself and pulled away out of James' arms. She cleared her throat and said, trying not to make the situation more awkward,
"Thank you for catching me." James nodded. Lily turned and pulled out her wand and muttered,
"Reparo." The glass bowl was put back into one piece again. Lily set it on the counter and saw that James had gone over to the door, and was picking up papers. She went over and bent down to help. She looked at one of them, and read the name Malfoy, Lucius on a file.
"Lucius Malfoy is a Death Eater?" James snatched the paper out of Lily's hands.
"Potential Death Eater. Why, does that surprise you?" James said quietly.
"No. I figured he would be. He's evil enough." James picked up the last paper and he and Lily both stood up.
"Is all that Order business?"
"And Auror business."
"I always knew you'd become an Auror."
"Yeah," James said shortly, "Well, I'll leave you to your cooking." He started for the door, but he stopped when Lily said,
"You know, this Order group sounds interesting. Do you think Dumbledore would let me join?"
"What would you do? There's no use for muggles."
"In case you hadn't noticed for the past nine years, I am a witch, I'm not a muggle."
"But you've been living like one for two years. And only muggles are stupid enough to stand on a towel on a counter. You're bound to slip." James turned to leave the kitchen, but when Lily started talking, he stopped.
"I know I did a stupid thing. You're right, I'm just lucky you were there to catch me." James nodded and left. Lily sighed in exasperation and threw a dirty look at the door that James just exited and went back to cooking.
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At seven o'clock, give or take a few minutes, James, Sirius and Remus all sat down at James' dining room table, waiting for Lily to bring out dinner. She had already brought out her appetizers and desert, but still hadn't brought out the main course. Finally she came though the door with a casserole dish in hand. She set it on the table and pulled off the lid.
"Hope you all like Chicken Fettuccini."
"Never had it before," Sirius said.
"You've never had Chicken Fettuccini? Oh my God, Sirius, you're missing out," Lily said.
"Have the rest of you?"
"My mother used to make it every once in a while, it was pretty good," James said, rather reluctant to talk about his parents.
"I have too, my grandmother used to make it all the time."
"Well, I hope you enjoy." She sat down next to Remus, with Sirius across from her, and James next to him. Lily dished up the food and after everyone's plate was filled, they all looked around at each other, waiting for someone to take the first bite.
"Oh my God you guys, it's not gonna kill ya." Remus was brave enough to try the first bite. He took a small amount in his fork, and before he put it in his mouth, he looked at it, then back at his friends and said,
"I want a nice funeral." Lily smacked him on the arm and he put the food into his mouth. They all watched him eat it, waiting for analysis. He closed his eyes and smiled. It gave Lily hope. She asked hesitantly,
"Well, what do you think?"
"Wow. Where did you learn to cook like this?"
"Oh, did I mention, I spent six months in Italy with my cousin, and I've become an expert on Italian cooking." After that, the other two weren't hesitant to try Lily's dinner. After a few bites, Sirius set his fork on the plate and turned to James.
"James, marry her," He said, pointing at Lily, who beamed.
"I'm not gonna marry her, Sirius."
"Fine, I will then." Lily laughed.
"No, no, I'm not marrying either one of you."
"Yeah, she's my cook." Remus said, linking an arm with Lily's. She smiled and said,
"Nor you. But I'm glad you all like my cooking."
"I didn't know you were capable of cooking something this good, Lils."
"You never know with me, do you?"
"Nope, you're full of surprises." Lily smiled at James and they all went back to their dinner.
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After dinner was consumed, after there were no leftovers left, Lily cleared the table and charmed the dishrags to wash the dishes, she came back into the dining room where the men were talking about Order business, but stopped when Lily came in. She sighed and sat down. Remus leaned back in his chair and said,
"God, I'm dreading tomorrow." Everyone agreed. Tomorrow was the day they all said goodbye to Isabelle.
"Well, it's getting late, and there's lots of things to do tomorrow, so I think I better head out." Sirius stood up and stretched.
"Thanks for the great dinner Lils. See you all tomorrow." They all replied `bye', and Sirius left. Remus yawned and said,
"I think I should go home too, you coming Lils?"
"I'll be along in a little bit. I just need to finish cleaning up." Remus nodded and apparated. Lily stood up and went back into the kitchen, and started putting dishes away. James came in after Lily and said,
"Need some help?"
"No, I got it, it's alright."
"Thanks for the dinner. Should have you cook more often."
"Maybe I should've been a chef instead of an accountant."
"Oh that's what you do?"
"Yeah, I've been thinking lately, I think it's been keeping me too busy. I never had time for my friends because I was always working. And I see everyone here and I wish I had more time like you all do. And I've also been thinking that my job isn't satisfying. All I do is spend time on the phone and work with numbers all day. I want to be out in the world, doing some good."
"Go for a different profession then."
"It's not all that simple, I have to go to school for at least four years to train for it, and then it's a big risk to start a whole new profession in the muggle world. I almost wish I hadn't left, and became an Auror like I had always planned."
"You wish you hadn't left? I thought you wanted to get out of here and go places and see things?"
"I did. But when I got there, I thought I was happy, but that was until I came back."
"What are you saying, Lils? I'm confused. You know what would've happened if you had stayed. You would've been unhappy, feeling trapped, right? Or was that just with me?" Lily shrugged.
"What do you think would've happened if we had gotten married?"
"I don't know. Probably end up divorced six months into our marriage."
"Why do you think that?"
"I know you Lily, and I thought about it too. Marrying me would've kept you back. I never wanted to go anywhere, you did. If you wanted to go somewhere, I wouldn't have followed."
"I did love you, James. I was just confused that night. I wanted to get out, but I wanted to be with you. So I had to give up one or the other, and I chose you. But then over the years, we fell out of love with each other, didn't we?"
"Yeah," James said shortly, "Tell you what, I'll clean up, you go ahead and go back to Remus' house. You'll want to get some sleep for tomorrow." Lily nodded.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I know where everything goes better than you do."
"Ok, see you tomorrow James."
"Bye, Lils." She apparated back to Remus' house, leaving James to putting dishes away with a whip of his wand. After that, he went into the living room and collapsed into a chair, and sighed.
"Why do I still feel this way?" He thought to himself.
A/N: Oh my God, this chapter is really long by my standards. It's 13 pages on Microsoft Word. Sorry if I got a little windy there. Thanks all for the reviews, I love you all. I'm glad you all like my story; it flatters me that you do. Hope you keep reviewing. I posted this at 23 reviews; I thought it was close enough. Hoping for 35 reviews give or take a few. Love y'all,
Husker-fan-2006
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