Unofficial Portkey Archive

Chapter 7: Crazy

A/N: A warning for you all, most of you will love it, and it's finally here, fluff, and…a kiss! YAY! There's also a song, actually a few songs. (shrugs) anyways…on with the chapter.

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Whenever dawn turns to night,
And all the dreams sing their song,
In the daylight forever,
To You I Belong.

-To You I Belong, by B*Witched

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Lily and the Marauders minus Peter all went back to James' house after the funeral. They all sat in the living room not saying a word to each other. Lily sat on an armchair in a corner and didn't pay much attention to anything else. In fact, she didn't notice when Sirius got up and left. Lily looked up, noticed that Sirius was gone, and said,

"Where'd Sirius go?"

"Home," Was all James said. Lily nodded, not wanting to say anything else. After a few minutes, Remus decided he was going to go home too.

"Are you going to be ok, Lils?"

"I'm fine, why?"

"Well, you haven't said anything since you spoke at the funeral today."

"Well, neither have the rest of you."

"Yeah we have, we've been talking the whole time since right before Sirius left."

"You have?"

"Yeah." James and Remus said together.

"Oh. Sorry I'm just a little subdued right now. I'll be back in a little while." Remus nodded and apparated home. Lily looked over at James, who was watching her. She sighed.

"What?"

"You're sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine, seriously, James."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, trust me James, I'm ok."

"You aren't acting like it. You're not your normal self. The usual Lily Evans is attentive and involved in conversations, you are far…"

"I just buried my best friend, James, how do you expect me to feel? You have no idea how I'm feeling right now." Lily snapped.

"I can relate."

"Yeah right."

"She was my friend too, Lily, don't try and make it out to be that you're the only one who is sad about Isabelle. Sirius had to leave because he was so miserable. He loved her. He never sad anything because he's Sirius, he's afraid of commitment. Now it's too late." While James was speaking, Lily stared at the floor, but her head snapped up when she heard James' last sentence. Her dream came instantaneously back to her; she remembered Isabelle's words.

"Oh and Lils," Lily nodded to show she was listening. "You only have so much time in this world. Tell him that you love him before it's too late, because you'll wish you had when you or he is gone."

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing, just something to ponder. He's a Potter, Lils, a sworn enemy of Voldemort. He isn't guaranteed forever." Lily looked at James, who had picked up the Daily Prophet and started reading. Maybe Isabelle was right, what if Lily did still love James, only she was just in denial? Lily didn't want James to get killed; spending the last few days with him and the Marauders made her realize how much she missed them. Lily opened her mouth to say something, but changed her mind and got up, grabbing the glass of sweet tea next to her. She didn't look at James, but felt him watching her as she left the room. Lily leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths. Anger coursed through her, anger for all the dark wizards in the world, namely Voldemort, who caused nothing but heartache and despair to the world. Finally, it was too much. Lily's anger and sorrow got the best of her. She screamed threw the glass in her hand as hard as she could, and it hit the wall and shattered into hundreds of pieces. James came running when he heard the scream and the glass break, and saw Lily just as she was about to collapse on the stairs. He caught her, and stood her steady on her feet, not taking his arms from her waist. She looked at him and flung her arms around his neck, and cried into his shirt. He held her tight, never wanting to let her go. Seeing Lily cry made tears come to James' eyes too. They both stood her there in each other's arms, while time passed without notice. It could've been minutes, or hours, they didn't know, but it was a while before Lily's sobs slowly subsided. Lily lifted her head and pulled slightly away from James, though still had her arms around his neck. Hazel eyes stared into green ones. They both leaned in slowly, and kissed. Lily was surprised that some of the sparks were still there. It lasted a few seconds, until James broke it. He pulled away from Lily, let go of her, and backed away. Lily looked at him, confused.

"You're upset, you'll regret this later." He went back into the living room, leaving Lily confused, gloomy, and hurt.

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A few days later, Lily was doing some thinking. She was thinking about staying in England for good. She told Remus about it one day, asking for advice.

"What do you think?"

"Well, what do you want to do, Lily, deep down?"

"I don't know."

"Well, think of the pros and cons of the situation."

"Ok. Pros…I'll be with my friends again,"

"You'll be near your parents and the rest of your family,"

"I'll be in the magical world," There was a pause when neither one of them could think of another pro.

"Ok…cons. I'll leave my friends in America,"

"You'll leave your job,"

"Ooh, big loss." She couldn't think of any more cons, and neither could Remus.

"I have more pros than cons."

"Then stay."

"Where am I going to live?"

"Stay here as long as you like, Lils, it doesn't bother me. It's actually nice to have company all the time. Even if it is a…" He gasped sarcastically, "Girl." Lily laughed.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, but who knows, you might be moving in with James soon enough and become Mrs. James Potter." Lily's jaw dropped and she smacked Remus on the arm. Remus grabbed his arm where Lily had hit him and said, surprised,

"Ow, what the hell?"

"Oh my God, Remus, I'm not going to move in with James and marry him, why does everyone think that?"

"We're just teasing you, Lils. Come on, take a joke." `Though you should be marrying him.'

"Anyways, I'll think about moving back here for good, I don't know yet." Just then, Sirius apparated into the kitchen. Five seconds later, James apparated too. Remus and Lily looked at the two of them, waiting for what they were going to say.

"Ok, tonight, seven o'clock, we're all going to the clubs," Sirius said. Lily said uneasily,

"Just the four of us?"

"Yep."

"Can't there be some other witches going along too? All this testosterone lately is starting to be too much."

"You never know Lils, one of us might hook up with someone," Sirius said, grinning.

"Ah, hookers are so much better company."

"Never been with a hooker, Lils. I wouldn't pay anyone to have sex."

"There are other kinds of women at clubs, Lily," James said.

"Not much more."

"Have you ever been to the clubs, Lils?"

"Once."

"Once? That's it?"

"I work a lot."

"Oh my God, she's missing out," Sirius said, pretending to be shocked.

"When was this one time you went to the clubs?" Remus asked.

"It was before I came back. My friends, Ally and Natalie, made me go with them and a few friends to a club. I met a guy." The Marauders all glanced at James, though Lily didn't notice. A slight pang of jealousy coursed through James, but he shook it off as nothing.

"He came up and talked to me because he heard me sing…"

"What? What were you doing singing?"

"It was a karaoke bar. Ally and Natalie made me sing." The Marauders all had identical evil grins on their faces, and Lily caught on to why right away.

"No, no, no, I'm not singing."

"Oh yes you are my dear."

"No, Sirius, I'm not, you can't make me."

"Watch me."

"You can't."

"I have my ways of doing it."

"You don't know anything."

"Oh really? You forget, Miss Evans, that my best friend is your former boyfriend. He's knows almost everything about you, from your weaknesses to your…ticklish spots." A flicker of fear crossed Lily's face.

"You wouldn't…"

"You'll sing."

"I'm not singing."

"Fine, we'll have to tickle you then, all three of us," Remus said. Lily's jaw dropped, though her eyes were full of laughter.

"You bastards." The Marauders grinned. Lily, trying to compromise, said,

"How about I think about it?" But Sirius wasn't willing to compromise.

"How about you're going to sing?" Lily sighed.

"I guess."

"Alright, and it better be a good song."

"I'll think of one."

"A muggle karaoke bar does sound like fun. Why didn't we think of this before?"

"Probably because none of you can carry a tune."

"Shut up, Lily, how would you know?" Lily shrugged.

"Ok, so, seven tonight, don't be late, and Lils, you better come prepared to sing."

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At six forty-five that evening, James, Remus, and Sirius were all sitting in the living room of Remus' house, waiting for the female of their group. They were all dressed similarly, jeans, tennis shoes, and button down shirts. Sirius was wearing a black one, Remus a navy blue one, and James a red one. They tried patiently to wait for Lily, but the longer they waited, the shorter their patience was getting. Sirius sighed.

"Honestly, Prongs, how did you stand going out with Lils for as long as you did, she'd make you late for everything because she's gotta fix her hair and such." Before James could answer, they heard,

"Shut up, Black, I'm coming."

"It's about ti…" He stopped speaking when he saw Lily. James and Remus turned and looked up at Lily, and their jaws dropped. Lily came down the stairs in a glittery black halter-top, with khaki capris and black flip flops on her feet. Her skin was accented with glitter, her hair was up in a messy ponytail, and her make up made her face look bright and shining, so her green eyes shined brightly behind her glasses. (A/N: See my theory on Lily having glasses instead of James at the bottom) Lily laughed at the looks on their faces.

"Oh my God, you guys look like you never seen a witch before."

"Not one that looks like that," James said.

"Meaning good or bad?"

"Definitely good. You're beautiful tonight, Lils."

"Not that you aren't always, but yeah, you get his drift." Lily rolled her eyes and smiled. She finished descending the stairs and as she did she said,

"Well, I've got my singing voice, so let's go."

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An hour later and a few drinks later, Sirius was coaxing Lily to go up and sing. He had already hooked up with a girl named Michelle and had his arm around her. James was up at the bar, getting another round, and Remus was nowhere to be found at the moment.

"C'mon, Lils, you promised.

"Do I have to?"

"Damn right you have to. Remember what'll happen if you break your promise." Michelle, being a ditzy girl said,

"What'll happen?"

"I'll tickle her."

"Oh, are you ticklish?" She said turning to Lily. Lily rolled her eyes at her stupid question, though Michelle was too thick to notice.

"Just a tad." Lily said sarcastically. James came back with the drinks, and had heard the mentioning of tickling Lily and tickled her sides just a little bit, making her jump and squirm. He grinned.

"Now, go sing, or it'll be worse."

"This is blackmail, that's illegal."

"But it's so much fun. Now go." Lily sighed. Then she got an idea.

"If I go sing, James, you have to right after me."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"You have the dirt on me, I have just as much on you."

"Like what?"

"Oh, let's see, how you were sneaking off to the kitchens and got stuck…"

"Ok, ok, ok! I'll do it." James interrupted before Lily could finish telling the embarrassing moment. Lily grinned. James shook his head.

"You're an evil one my friend. Now go sing." Lily got up and went up to the stage. When she had left, James turned and saw Sirius and Michelle staring at him, Sirius with a huge stupid grin on his face. Remus had also come back, with a girl, and had heard the conversation, and also had a grin on his face. James looked from one friend to the other. He said slowly,

"What?"

"Oh, nothing, just watching the future Mrs. Potter walk away," Sirius said, trying to sound innocent.

"For the last time, Padfoot, I'm not going to marry Lily. She doesn't feel that way about me anyways."

"Oh, yes, and that's why you've been flirting all night long, hmm?" James opened his mouth to reply, but he realized that Sirius was right. Just then, Lily stepped up on stage, and everyone politely applauded. Her face was slightly pink, and she smiled nervously at the people at her table, before the intro music started to her song. She bit her bottom lip in anxiety and then opened her mouth to sing.

"I could lose my vision
My eyes no longer see
I could lose my religion
In my struggle to believe

Heaven help me
If I ever lose your love." James, Sirius and Remus were stunned once Lily started singing. They had no idea that she could sing so well. Lily kept her eyes on James the whole song, though she didn't realize she was doing it. After the music ended, Lily went back to the table, and while everyone in the bar applauded loudly. Lily sat down next to James, still smiling, and when she saw the reactions to her singing on her friends' faces, she said,

"What, did I do bad?"

"No, Lils, that was great," Remus said.

"I had no idea you could sing like that."

"Everyone says that. That's what Ally and Natalie said."

"Well, it's true."

"Ok, Mr. Potter, you're turn." James laughed.

"Come on, or I'll tell everyone all your secrets that they don't know about." James sighed.

"Ok, ok, I'm going." James dreaded singing the whole way up there. He never thought he had a good voice to sing. He only sang along with songs on the radio, never in front of anybody. But Lily wanted him to sing, and she'd blackmail him if he didn't.

"So, Lils, when are you and Prongs going to come to your senses and get married?"

"I'm not marrying James, I never will. I don't love him anymore." Sirius nodded and said,

"Mmm hmm, Bullshit." The conversation ended there, as the intro music to James' song started up.

"There's a ship out
On the ocean
At the mercy of the sea
It's been tossed about
Lost and broken
Wandering aimlessly
And God somehow
You know that ship is me

'Cause there's a lighthouse
In the harbor
Shining faithfully
Pouring its light out
Across the water
For this sinking soul to see
That someone out there
Still believes in me

On a prayer, in a song
I hear your voice and
It keeps me hanging on
Raining down
Against the wind
I'm reaching out till
We reach the circle's end
When you come back to me again

And again I see
My yesterday's in front of me
Unfolding like a mystery
You're changing all that is
And used to be

When you come back to me again." James came back to the table and instantly Sirius and Remus were joking with him about his terrible singing voice. But Lily didn't say anything about it. He had an awesome voice. James looked at Lily, waiting for her opinion, and she said almost breathlessly,

"That was great, James." He smiled, and so did she. A woman came up to James and flaunting her cleavage, said,

"Hey James, I heard you sing, you have an amazing voice." James' jaw dropped. It was an ex girlfriend that he had dumped a little while ago. Her name was Serena, and she was a total bitch, and she didn't even come close to measuring up to Lily.

"Um, thanks, Serena."

"Can I sit down?"

"Um…" Lily looked from James to Serena, and back to James. James looked at Lily with a look that pleaded, `help me'. Serena's eyes narrowed at Lily, who returned the glare.

"Ok, lady, what is your problem? Why the hell are you staring at me? It's not like he's your boyfriend, and you have to get jealous about it."

"What if he is?"

"You don't look like a couple." Lily scooted closer to James and put her arms around his neck. She raised her eyebrows at the ex girlfriend, who still looked unconvinced. Lily then turned James' face towards her and kissed him. Lily broke the kiss after a second or two and said Serena,

"Shoo." Serena left in a huff, and Sirius said,

"What the hell was that?" James said,

"Serena. Ex-girlfriend, remember? You set me up with her because she was a friend of a fling of yours."

"Oh. Oh, the bitchy one who slept around? Yeah, sorry about that one, mate." James shrugged it off as nothing.

"You didn't know, it's alright."

"Now see, this one here," Sirius pointed at Lily, "Won't sleep around on you and break your heart." Lily rolled her eyes.

"She broke it once, who's to say she won't do it again?" The conversation ended there. Lily was thinking about what James had said, and wished she could turn back time. A few drinks later, someone was up on stage singing a slow song, Lily got an idea. It would be a chance to talk to James alone, without Sirius and Remus close by, making comments and suggestions.

"James, wanna dance with me?"

"Sure." They went out onto the dance floor just as the guy started in on the lyrics of the song.

See, baby I, apologize
For all the things that I've done that I've done
See I've known that I've been a fool for far too long
And baby you have it, I go around to wait, just come back to papa
Please baby, baby won't you stay
If you really love me then why are you leavin me

"Can I ask you something, James?"

"And what's that?"

"Do you…" She stopped, and took a deep breath.

I can't think, think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you baby
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately
I'm going crazy, crazy, when I can't touch you
Crazy, crazy when I can't hold you
Crazy, crazy, when I can't see you again

"Do I what, Lily?"

"If you could change anything about your life in the past, what would it be?" James' brow furrowed as he was confused by her change of direction in her question.

"Why?"

"Just answer me please."

"I would change the fact that my parents were killed, that Isabelle was killed, that all the innocent lives weren't sacrificed; that you never left."

I've finally realized, that you are my true love
And I had a lot of time to think, and you're all seem to keep thinking,
To keep thinkin of, yeah
And now I know I need you each and every day
I can't live without you, so don't run away
Baby you say that you love me, so why'd u leave me, why

"Do you still love me?"

"What makes you think that?"

"It's just a question, James."

"Do you still love me?"

"I asked you first."

"What would make you think that I still love you?" James asked quickly and defensively.

"Ok, you don't have to get so defensive about it. It's just a simple yes or no question."

"No, Lily, it's not."

"Just answer me, James, please, do you still love me?"

I can't think, think about this crazy day
I lose sleep just to daydream about you baby
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you lately
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, just to thinkin about you baby
I'm going crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, thinkin about you lately
I'm going crazy, crazy, but I can't touch you
Crazy, crazy when I can't hold you
Crazy, crazy, when I can't see again
If I can see you, if I can see you again
Then I would go, if I could see you again
I'd go crazy

"No," James lied. Hurt crossed Lily's face.

"Do you still love me?" Lily didn't answer right away.

"Do you, Lils?" Lily pulled away from James and ran out of the club, tears rolling down her face. Sirius and Remus came up to James and asked what happened.

"What the hell did you do?"

"She asked me if I still loved her."

"And?"

"I lied." Sirius and Remus' looks of disappointment on their faces were almost identical. Remus shook his head and said,

"Prongs you're an idiot."

"What was I supposed to tell her?"

"Uh, the truth?" Sirius said.

"And get turned down, when I find out she doesn't love me."

"How do you know that's what she would say?"

"She left me, remember? She ended it, so she fell out of love with me."

"You're an idiot," Remus said again. "Reading between the lines, Prongs, Lily still loves you. Why I don't know, I don't know why she would love a wizard so thick."

"Do the smart thing for once tonight and go after her, James. Because if you don't, before you know it she'll be gone, and you'll hate yourself for letting her go a second time. Witches like Lily don't come around every day, don't screw this up."

"Go on." They pushed James toward the door, and he left, apparating to Remus' house, looking for Lily. She wasn't there; he went to Sirius' and to his house, and to Alice's. She wasn't at either place. `Ok, James, think, where would Lily go when she's pissed off or in a crisis?' A memory came to mind,

"Sirius, have you by any chance seen Lily?"

"Why, you lose her?"

"No, I pissed her off."

"Did you hex Snape or something?"

"Tempting, but no, I don't really know what I did, but she just got mad and ran off, and now I don't know where she is."

"If the Marauder's Map hadn't been confiscated by cursed Filch, then you could find her easily."

"I know, but I don't have it, do I?"

"Well, think like Lily, you're pissed off, where would you go?" James shrugged.

"I don't know."

"Oh come on James, this is Lily, when in doubt, check in the library."

A/N: Hee hee hee. Ain't I evil? A cliffhanger for y'all, bring in those reviews!!! Thanks to all of you who reviewed, keep it up!!

Ok, the theory on the glasses. In some fanfics I've read, they mention that since Harry looks exactly like James, that James has glasses, like Harry does. But I always thought that Lily would be the one to have glasses or contacts, one of the two, because Harry inherited her eyes, hence, he could've also inherited the bad eyesight. And I know that J.K. Rowling has said in the books that James has the glasses, but I still believe that Lily could've had glasses or contacts. But, it's just a theory, and like all theories, they can be proven wrong.

And, if anyone really cares, if you have noticed, I don't use Peter a lot in my stories. The reason for that is, I just don't like him. I don't know how to write the character very well, and I don't like him, he's a traitor. At the time of my story, he's already working for Voldemort, and he's gone a lot serving his master. So, if anyone really cares that he's not in story very much, then I'm sorry, but that's why.

And another thing, the songs in this chapter are, `Heaven Help Me' by Wynonna Judd, `When You Come Back To Me Again' by Garth Brooks, and `Crazy' by KC & JoJo.

Husker_fan_2006

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