Chapter 13: A Chance Not Worth Taking
"You can't force open the petals of a rose.
When he is ready, he will open up to you"
Wednesday, October 22nd, 1979
Sirius walked into the Heads' Room. Sarah was asleep on the couch, although it was still before noon. He sat down next to her feet and she awoke. "Sleep well?" he asked her.
"Mmhmm…very. I haven't been getting much sleep lately.
"Oh yea? Why's that?"
"I just couldn't fall asleep. But I think tonight will be better." She smiled at him and he smiled back.
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Sarah sighed again, more loudly this time, trying to gain Lily's attention.
"Alright, what is it Sarah?" Lily asked, rather annoyed. Sarah was keeping her from writing her potions essay and from reading the diary that laid upstairs in her room, waiting for Lily to read it.
"Fine," Sarah replied, a bit hurt. "I'm going," she said and left Lily alone in the Heads room.
Lily relaxed a little and went up to her room. She uncovered the diary and turned to the next unread entry.
Early October, 1957
Charles and I walked around a bit today and talked. It was nice. Then Brianna came running up to us and dragged me away from him. Not after a quick kiss though. There was not any real reason that she dragged me away. She said she was lonely. I think she just simply does not like Charles. I know she does not. Nothing else of interest. I bet Brina has her little book filled. She always has something interesting to say. Adelaide Tourcotte is in Ravenclaw and she is going with Crison. I enjoy her company. She is always in the Heads Room or Crison's room. She is quite nice. Brianna and her would talk forever if they could. It is disastrous to try and get them apart once they start talking. They always know what is going on in the school.
Adelaide is going home for the weekend because her grandmother passed away and she was granted permission to leave. Crison is quite sad, for he cannot go with her.
I forgot that Brianna gave me these lovely earrings that she bought for me in Hogsmeade. She said if I would have went with her I would know where she got them at. It does not matter that much anyways. I enjoyed being with Charles. He's sweet.
Andrew fell asleep in transfiguration today. It was quite funny. Professor Ingham yelled at him and woke him up. I felt bad for him, but he started to laugh along with Harold. He has a detention for three days. With Professor Artis. I pity him.
I must go down to dinner.
Once again, it is the great Brianna Davis. I am so very bored. I do not like Charles. At least, I do not like him for Gabella. I write in your book, Gabella more than I do in mine. Adelaide is adorable, but I love Gabella more. Adelaide understands. She is just nice to have some one to talk to when Gabriella is off with Charles somewhere or is doing rounds with Crison. He and Adelaide get along so well together. I am sometimes envious of what they have. Nicholas and I will have that someday. Soon, I hope. Poor Adelaide, she told me she was close to her grandmother and they wrote letters often. I don't know why Crison is not permitted to go with her. Neither of them knew why.
Transfiguration was most interesting with Andrew falling asleep. I told Harold that he should do something so that he can keep Andrew company in detention. He suggested that I should do it, but I will not. I hate Professor Artis. He is such a pain. I cannot stand him. And I know he hates me. Even when I get a question right, he picks it apart to find something wrong with it. It's not fair, and thus, my animosity towards Professor Artis.
Lily closed the little book and let her thoughts drift to Gabriella and Brianna. Poor Adelaide. Losing her grandmother like that. And then Crison wasn't allowed to go with? Rubbish. Julia got to take Kristen with to the funeral. And Brianna, Brina, is definitely like Sarah. She is such a dreamer. And full of life.
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Remus came into their dorm and collapsed on his bed between classes.
"Hard day so far, Moony?" Sirius asked.
"No, the full moon's tonight," Remus replied.
"I know. Can't wait," Sirius said.
"Well I'm glad you enjoy it."
"Did you tell Cassidy about your 'furry little problem'?" James asked him.
"No," Remus told him.
"Why?"
"Do you honestly think she'd still like me if she knew that I turn into a monster every month?" Remus asked them.
"If she really cared about you it wouldn't matter, Moony," James told him.
"But it's not a chance I'm willing to take."
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James made his way into the Heads' room where Lily was working during their free period. He sat down next to Lily on the couch where she was writing her essay.
"So, what do you think about werewolves?" he asked as he skimmed the paragraphs of her essay on them.
"What? You mean like Remus?" she asked James.
"Wait, what? How d'you know? Did he tell you?" James asked.
"No, I had some suspicions. You just confirmed them actually."
"Oh great," James said smacking his hand on his forehead. "Me and my big mouth."
"I won't tell anyone."
"Not even Sarah?" James inquired.
"She's a bit dubious already. But I won't tell her anything. I promise," Lily told him sincerely.
"Remus is gonna kill me."
"Don't worry. I won't let him," Lily told him as she rested her hand on his arm.
"This doesn't change the way you see him, does it?"
"No. He's still the same old Remus. Why? Do you honestly think it would change anything?"
"No, but he'll worry about it. Well, I suppose I should tell him."
"Should I go with you?" Lily asked.
"No," James replied as he made his way to find Remus.
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"Remus?" James called as he entered the boys' dorm.
"Yeah?" Remus answered sitting up in his bed.
"I have something to tell you."
"What is it? Is Cassidy ok?" he asked worriedly, throwing the covers off of himself to go check on Cassidy.
"No, no. Relax. It's Lily. She knows about your…condition."
"What? How does she know? You didn't tell her did you?"
"No, never. She said she had her suspicions before and I 'confirmed' them before I knew that she didn't really know if you had it. She promised not to tell anyone, not even Sarah. Although Sarah is staring to have her doubts too. Maybe you should just tell everyone," James suggested.
"No. You know I can't do that. Not even Cass."
James nodded, feeling for the first time what Remus hated most: pity.
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"Cass, what do you think about werewolves?" Sarah asked her once she came back from supper and saw Cassidy working. She knew Remus was a werewolf. She could read minds after all, and sometimes it came in handy.
"Personally, I think they're horrible things. They should be locked up so they can't harm anyone. They can go to Antarctica for all I care. Danni told me how she saw one once and it was killing something. She didn't know what it was. Her dad dragged her away. They're monsters," Cassidy told her. "I hate them."
"Cassidy, you do know that they are humans. They only change for one night."
"It doesn't matter. Think of all the damage they could do in just one night. Think of how many things they could kill or maim. They should be killed just so they can't hurt anyone else."
"What would you do if you met one?"
"I'd scream and run away. I wouldn't look back."
"What if-"
"-I'm sorry Sarah, but I have to cut our little chat short. I have to go meet Remus. He's a great boyfriend. It's just a pity that you can't seem to keep one for yourself," Cassidy said and walked out of their dorm.
Sarah was sorely tempted to yell out and tell her right then and there, but she didn't. She managed to keep her mouth shut. I hope she dies a long and painful death.
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Remus was teetering between the two realms of sleeping and daydreaming. He was tired, but he couldn't sleep. The full moon would be out in a matter of hours. His eyes were closed when he heard the portrait to the Heads' common room open.
"Remus?" Cassidy called. "Remus. What are you doing?" she asked.
He opened his eyes reluctantly. "Nothing."
"Do you want to go for a walk around the lake?" she asked.
"Not really," he replied as he stifled a yawn.
"Oh. Ok then," Cassidy said, obviously hurt. She took a few steps backward.
"I'm sorry, Cass. Another day, ok?" he said. "I'm just really tired."
"Yea. It's ok Remus," she replied and quickly walked out of the common room, forgetting what she had just told Sarah. Why doesn't he want to be with me?
Remus let his head drop and shut his eyes. Today just wasn't his day. He didn't want to hurt Cassidy, but he couldn't tell her everything either. There was no compromise.
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"What's wrong?" Lane asked as Cassidy sank into her bed.
"Nothing," she mumbled as she smothered her face with her pillow.
"C'mon Cass. What's wrong?" Lane asked as she walked to Cassidy's bed.
Cassidy lifted her head up. "Remus. I don't think he likes me anymore."
"Aw, Cass, I'm sure he does."
"He doesn't. I asked him to go on a walk, and he turned me down. He said he was 'too tired'. I know that's code for 'leave me alone I'm so sick of being with you'. I'm sure of it. I know it is."
"That's not true. Remus loves you," Lane told her.
"How can you be sure?" Cassidy asked Lane.
"It's easy. By the way he looks at you. How he talks about you constantly when you're not around."
"Don't worry about it. He didn't look that good today in class. I think he's sick," Sarah said from her spot at her desk.
Cassidy rolled her eyes. "He said he was tired. Not that he didn't feel good."
"You get tired when you're sick, duh Cas," Sarah pointed out.
"That's not what he said though," Cassidy replied. "Why would he lie to me? I'm his girlfriend."
"That's not lying, Miss Priss."
"Close enough in my book. And don't call me that," Cassidy retorted.
"Your book is a bit messed up, just like you MP."
"Knock it off, Sarah," Lane cut in.
"Whatever," Sarah said as she stood up.
"Where are you going?" Cassidy asked her.
"Anywhere that you're not," Sarah replied as she walked out of their dorm.
"I don't like her," Cassidy told Lane once Sarah had disappeared.
"I don't like you either," Sarah yelled back as she traveled down the steps.
"Loser," Cassidy muttered.
"Leave her alone," Lane told Cassidy.
"She has no respect for anyone. I wasn't even talking to her you know. She just butts into whatever conversation she wants to. So rude," Cassidy said.
"You know you love her."
"No. I don't. She's a pain in my arse. She always thinks she knows everything."
"No she doesn't."
"Yes she does!"
"Why don't you like her?" Lane asked Cassidy.
"Because I don't."
"That's not a real reason, Cassidy."
"Because she's slutty and she's a pain. She thinks she's so good just because she's friends with Lily. I don't think Lily really likes her. I think she just pities the poor wench. And she calls me 'Miss Priss.' That's not even a good insult. I would think that someone like her could at least come up with a more hurtful insult."
"Just stop Cassidy. What were you saying about Remus?"
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Thursday, October 23rd, 1979
"Hey," Cassidy said slipping her hand into Remus' on the way to breakfast. "Where were you last night?"
James and Sirius exchanged glances, wondering if he would tell her the truth.
"I, uh, didn't feel well. I spent the night in the Hospital Wing," he told her.
"Oh, are you feeling better?"
"I am now," he replied as he kissed the top of her head. Cassidy smiled.
I don't want to loose her. How would I live without this? I couldn't possibly live without her. I don't want to risk it. Telling her just isn't worth the outcome…
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James was trying to talk to Sirius, who was staring at Sarah across the Gryffindor common room. Sirius obviously wasn't listening. "Padfoot?" James said again, waving his hand in front of Sirius' face, trying to gain his attention unsuccessfully.
"Yeah?" Sirius asked, coming out of his trance.
James rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just go ask her out?"
"Who?" Sirius asked.
"Sarah. It's pretty obvious that you like her."
"No I don't."
"Sure Padfoot. I believe that…"
"I don't. She's just a friend."
"A very good friend then."
"I thought you didn't like her?" Sirius asked James.
"I like her. I just don't think she's right for you."
"And who do you suppose is?"
"I don't know…anyone but her."
"But why?"
"She…I guess she just doesn't seem sincere. Like she cares all that much. Very flighty."
"Flighty?" Sirius asked in disgust. "Maybe she cares more than you think? And you're one to talk about being flighty."
James held his hands up, "Ok, ok. I'm sorry, Paddy. No need to get all mad at me."
"So you don't think she likes me?"
"Not really."
Sirius nodded slowly.
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"I need a boyfriend," Sarah announced while she skimmed the common room for possible candidates.
"Oh please, Sarah. You don't need one," Lily told her.
"I wonder if Stefan's going out with anyone," she wondered aloud.
"Don't toy with him, Sarah. Don't start the whole on-again off-again thing."
"Why not? You're no fun. Maybe you should shack up with Potter. I'm sure you two would have fun together," Sarah suggested.
"Uh, no. What about Sirius?"
"Oh, so you like Sirius? And here I am trying to set you up with the wrong Marauder…"
"No, I meant you Sarah. Don't you like him? You went to visit him at night in the Hospital Wing and everything."
Sarah snapped her head in Lily's direction. "How do you know about that?" Lily shrugged. "It doesn't even matter. We're just friends. I don't' know if I could picture us as anything more."
Lilly hmmmed while she shrugged again.
"I know you don't believe me. But it's Sirius. I just…I don't know. I don't think it'd be right. Besides, he doesn't even like me."
"Are you sure? It doesn't seem that way to me."
"If you keep bringing Sirius into this, I'm going to have to talk about James."
"Okay, I'll stop."
Sarah stared out at the fading sun. "I would hate to lose him."
"How would you lose him?"
"If we broke up or something. As a friend. I like him, and I wouldn't want to lose that."
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Friday, October 24th, 1979
"Sarah, darling, it's Friday night and we're dateless," Lily said.
"Are we loosing our touch?" Sarah asked.
"I hope not," Lily replied as she draped herself on one of the couches in the Gryffindor common room. Sarah sat down on the couch across from her.
"Me too. Life just isn't fair."
"I know. Lane and Cassidy both have dates."
"I'm sure I could set you two up with some friends if you want me to," Remus said as he sat down next to Sarah.
"If their names are James and Sirius, then no thanks," Lily said. "What are you doing here?"
"Waiting for Cass. Does it usually take girls this long? Why did she have to change? It doesn't really matter what she wears. She always looks good no matter what," Remus said.
"Aw. That's so sweet, Remus," Lily said.
"Why aren't there more guys like you in this school?" Sarah asked. "Better yet, why doesn't Zane go to Hogwarts? Life would be perfect then…"
Lily laughed. "Keep on dreaming Sarah. It would be perfect for you and almost every other girl here."
"Hey Remus," Cassidy said as she appeared next to him.
"Hey, ready?" he said.
Cassidy nodded and he took her hand. "I'll see you guys around." They turned and started to walk out of the common room.
"He's a keeper!" Sarah yelled after them.
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"I wonder what they're doing right now," Lily said aloud as she laid on her bed.
"Who?" Sarah asked, looking up from her drawing.
"Cassidy and Lane. Mostly Cassidy and Remus though. They're so cute together."
"They're probably doing it."
"Sarah, you have a very nasty mind. I think Cassidy's still a virgin."
"I haven't heard otherwise. Not that she would tell me."
"I envy her. I wish I had what she has," Lily said staring out her window.
"What, no sex life?"
"No," Lily said as she rolled her eyes. "Remus."
"Wait, so now you want Remus? My goodness girl, you move fast."
"Stop it Sarah. I mean how he acts. Like gentleman. How he cares for her. He loves her, you know?"
Sarah sighed. "I know. I want it too. Although I'm going to die a lonely old woman. I'll never be able to settle down with just one guy."
"No, you'll have me."
"I don't think James'll like me living with you and all of your little kiddies."
"Sarah! I'm not going to marry James."
"Are you sure?" Sarah asked her.
Lily shrugged. "Who knows what the future holds. Do you think Remus and Cassidy will get married?"
"I don't know. Depends on if he tells her that he's a werewolf or not. You know she hates them, don't you? I told you that, right?"
Lily nodded. "You did. I think she'd make an exception for Remus though, don't you think?"
"Maybe. But then again, this is Cassidy we're talking about. Miss Priss of Hogwarts."
"Don't call her that."
"I can call her whatever I want. She's not my friend."
"Who do you think'll get married after Hogwarts?" Lily asked Sarah.
"Remus and Cassidy. You and James. Lane and Alden. Lia and Garret. Adalyn and Bryce, although they'll split up plenty of times before then, and even then they'll get a divorce. Rodo and Bell, ewwwness, but they're perfect for each other. I think maybe Katie and Amos. I can see Dayton and Sasha hooking up. Oh, and Vance and Jinelle. I shiver just thinking about their ugly offspring."
"And what about you?"
"I told you, I'll have plenty of boyfriends, but I don't think I'll get married."
"I think you will."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And what about Sirius?"
"I don't know…" Sarah thought for a moment. "Maybe some beautiful French model or something. I have no idea."
"What about you and Sirius getting married?"
"Nah. I don't think we'd ever work out. Are you coming back with me to the dorm so you can hear all about Cassidy and Lane's great dates?" Sarah asked her.
"Do you really want to go back to your dorm?"
"Uh, no. I hate the period of time after Cassidy gets back from a date with Remus. Remembering that there are guys who don't like girls with scars is the only think keeping me from slitting my wrists."
"You can stay here. I don't really want to hear about Cass and her future husband's date either. Maybe we'll just grow old together."
"That's fine with me. I couldn't live without you anyways."
"I know. I love you, my dear Sarah."
"Back at you Lilei." Sarah conjured a bed and climbed in. She closed her eyes and she heard Lily move around in her bed. "Oh crap. Isn't tomorrow Hogsmeade?"
Lily groaned. "Yes. I forgot."
"How could you forget Hogsmeade!"
"You did too! Oh, that's right. Michael asked me to go with him," Lily said, remembering.
"Lucky. No one asked me. Did you agree?"
"No. Why would I?"
"Why wouldn't you?"
"I don't know. But you know what this means?" Lily asked Sarah.
"What?"
"More stories of Cassidy and Remus."
"Oh please my darling ancestors in the sky help me!" Sarah groaned as she buried her face in her pillow.
"My thoughts exactly."
A/N: So there you have it. More Cassidy. I think she needed her own chapter. Well, mostly about her and Remus. I feel so bad for Remus. And Crison's a cool name! I got it by a book by Avi. I don't remember the title, but it was a good book! ::laughs:: I'm sorry my loves, but I don't know when the next chapter will be finished. But! The quote! How awesomely does it fit with this chapter!? I know, I'm such a dork. ::shrugs:: And I managed to come up with a title with more than one word!
So how was everyone's V-day? My bf got me flowers. They're sooooo pretty! I carried them around all day (because they made me feel special). ::smiles:: And I made him cookies and I gave him chocolate. And he said something like "chocolate's my favorite thing besides you." <3. He's so cute. And my bio teacher liked my flowers. I tell you, she's crazy. Omg. She whacked my one friend on the head during lab! ::shudders:: And she's almost stabbed me with this probe thing. Crazy, I tell you.
And this wouldn't be a complete author's note without me mentioning One Tree Hill! ::laughs:: Best show ever! But it's not on for like 2 weeks! I'm going to die until then! So if this is not updated, you know it's because I've died from OTH withdrawal. I don't even have the second soundtrack yet! ::gasp:: I know. I want it so bad. But they were sold out of it! ::tear:: Ok, ok, I'm getting waaaaay off topic, and I'm so hyper because of all the chocolate I've had.
But, do you see that 'review' tool? Yeah, use it. Please? I'd love it if you did. Oh and how do you like me responding to all your reviews! J I have fun doing it. So write me a nice little review, even if it has nothing to do with the story, and I promise to write you back.