~A/N> Hello everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas holiday and that you have a safe New Year.
Here's the next chapter, and things progress quite a bit with our favorite couple. And if their behaviour seems a
bit OOC, just try to imagine how you'd feel being shut up in a house with someone you liked/cared for a lot
everyday, unable to do anything about it. Add to that exhaustion from physical and mental training, and you have a
recipe for disaster :p Thanks to everyone that reviewed the last chapter, and thanks to Lisa for all your help. Oh, and
the rating will be going up when the next chapter is posted.
When they returned to Grimmauld Place that night, Hermione felt sick. It had been such a long day of training, emotions, and revelations, and her head was full of all the new information they'd been given. Not to mention the mental exercises she had to perform with Harry every night to block Damien from his subconscious; that alone drained her the most. Begging off of dinner with the excuse of not feeling well, she made her way to her room and collapsed onto her bed facedown, relaxing into the soft mattress immediately. When her head started to pound, she placed her fingertips on her temples and concentrated just a little, the pain in her head disappearing almost immediately. Thank God for her healing power.
Now that the pain was gone, she felt her entire body finally relax for the first time in days, and just a few minutes later she was sound asleep.
~*~
Harry stood watching her as she ascended the stairs, a strange feeling in his chest and a knot in his stomach. Feeling a hand on his shoulder, he turned to see Luna standing next to him, smiling reassuringly. "She's okay Harry. She just needs some rest and some time alone, don't take it personally. I'll make sure she eats something, and I'll take care of her...that's what friends do, and you two are my closest friends."
"Thanks Luna," he replied, lightly placing his hand over hers.
"Hem, Hem," came Ron's voice from the door to the Kitchen.
As he and Luna turned to look at him, Harry asked, "Yes, Professor Umbridge?"
"Ha bloody ha," Ron replied. "How about you stop being a wanker and leave my girlfriend alone?"
"I was just talking to my friend Ron," Harry said, making his way to the Kitchen door where his best mate stood. "Besides, I think my romantic interests lie elsewhere in this house." With a smart-ass smile on his face, he breezed by Ron and sat at the table, heaping food onto his plate.
"Bloody hell, he's got it bad, doesn't he?" Ron asked, looking to Luna.
"After last night, I wouldn't talk if I were you," Luna replied as she breezed past him as well, leaving her very embarrassed boyfriend behind.
After dinner, with Hermione's notable absence, Ron and Harry went into the Library to play some Wizards Chess while Luna spent some time with her dad, who she hadn't seen much the past few days. As Ron moved one of his pieces, Harry watched as it lopped off the head of one of his pawns and said, "I kissed her today, in front of Remus."
"What?"
The shock in his mate's voice made him smile, and as he tried to study the pieces he had left and decide which to move next, he explained about their fight, the blast, the shields, and the kiss. When he explained about possibly having a bit of Guardian magic in him, Ron became really quiet, causing Harry to look at him curiously. "What is it?" he asked, not used to seeing his friend so serious.
"Nothing really," Ron replied, moving another of his pieces. "I was just wondering how she felt about it. I mean, I know that everyone thinks I have the emotional range of a teaspoon, but even I can see that she's proud of being a Guardian and is taking it seriously. Now she finds out her charge, the-boy-who's-going-to-save-the-world, has a bit of her gift in him. Just started me thinking, that's all. Check."
Harry continued to play, but mentally he had checked out of the game completely, losing to Ron in two more moves. Using the excuse that he was knackered, Harry went to his room and lay down in his bed, realizing his mistake when he buried his head into the pillow. It was the pillow she had used the night before, and it smelled of vanilla, like her hair always did. When did he start noticing that her hair smelled of vanilla? Maybe one of the times they had slept in the same bed or when he had kissed her...
Rolling over onto his back, he thought of the day he had pushed her against the door and kissed her, the day he had told Ginny there was no chance in hell of them ever getting back together. He had wanted Hermione so badly that day, and the way she responded...he felt his body stir at the memory and groaned, throwing one of his arms over his eyes in frustration.
Sometime later, he felt someone shaking him while saying, "Harry? Harry, wake up."
Cracking one eye open, he saw Hermione standing above him and he squinted at her, realizing he must have fallen asleep with his glasses on and they had fallen off sometime while he had been sleeping. Feeling around blindly, he saw her hand appear in front of his face, his glasses in her grasp. With a quick thank-you, he put them on and focused in on her face, noting something different in her expression...or was he just looking for something different? "What's going on?" he asked as he sat up, his voice still raspy from sleep.
"It's late, and I need to do the subliminal blocking exercise on you that Sorcha taught me today so that I can go to bed."
"Right," he said, noting how distant she sounded. Looking closely at her he asked, "Is everything okay?"
"Hmm? Yeah, fine," she said, sitting down next to him.
After studying her face a bit longer, he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind, and didn't have much success. They'd done this exercise twice today, and he was uncomfortable with it because it reminded him of his Occlumency lessons with Snape his fifth year. Trying not to think on it, he took a deep breath and relaxed his body and mind, finally clearing all thoughts away. Opening his eyes, he found her staring at him intently, and he wanted to kiss her so badly right then...
"Right, let's get on with it shall we?" she said, interrupting the thought. She had started to feel what he was feeling thanks to the empathic part of her, and she just wasn't in the mood to even go there at the moment. She didn't even think she had the strength just then to deal with it. Placing the first two fingers of each hand on his temples, she looked directly into his eyes and concentrated on moving deeper into his mind. It was one of the strangest feelings she had ever experienced; it was as if she were walking down a hallway in Harry's mind, looking for the right door, the one that led to his subconscious. Once there, she had to protect that door and seal it so that Damien couldn't get in again to torture him. Moving slowly, she used her mind's eye to help guide her and seeing the 'door' she needed she stopped her exploration. Recalling her lesson that day, she thought the incantation that she needed to repeat and then said it aloud, a white glow surrounding the protected area showing she had done it correctly. As she was withdrawing from his mind a thought suddenly appeared, almost like looking at a picture, and she gasped. Startled, she withdrew from his mind too quickly, causing a terrible pain to rip through his head as she did so.
"Ahh...damn it!" he yelled, yanking off his glasses and covering his eyes with his hands. "Bloody hell Hermione, what are you trying to do, kill me?" he asked angrily, keeping his eyes covered as the pain continued on.
She watched in horror as he suffered, feeling horrible about what she'd done, but she hadn't done it on purpose. "I'm so sorry Harry. I didn't mean to."
"Right, that makes it so much better, thanks," he spat.
Picking up on his anger, her temper flared to a dangerous level and she angrily swatted his hands out of the way and placed her hands on either side of his head. She concentrated the best she could and felt her healing power flowing through her into him, hopefully repairing whatever damage she had done. Quickly removing her hands from him, she walked to the door and opened it, and just before shutting it behind her she turned toward him and said, "I'm sorry.", leaving him very, very confused by her bahavior.
~*~
He felt like utter, complete shit. He'd have thought it was because his head had just felt as if it was going to explode from pain, but the pain had disappeared. His feelings were of remorse because of the way he had treated her. What had possessed him to talk to Hermione like that? It had been an accident, after all, so why had he overreacted?
Walking into the hallway, he made his way next door to her room and knocking once opened the door a crack and whispered, "Hermione?"
"Hey Harry," Luna replied, and he opened the door a bit more. "Hermione's not in here, I haven't seen her since she went to see you to perform the exercise."
Harry looked to where Luna's disembodied voice seemed to be coming from, and seeing two figures there said, "Thanks Luna. Hey Ron."
"H-Hey," came Ron's feeble reply, causing Harry to smile, until he remembered what he had been doing. Closing the door as quietly as he could, he turned and made his way down the stairs, hoping he'd find Hermione there.
He had felt her hurt and anger before spotting her on the sofa in the sitting room. It was a hollow feeling in his chest that made it feel like he couldn't breathe properly, and he felt even worse about the way he had behaved. Walking slowly toward the sofa, he made his way around it and saw her sitting there, staring unblinkingly into the dancing flames. He could see the dried tear tracks on her face that gave away the fact that she'd been crying, and mentally kicking himself in the ass he sat down next to her. She had to have seen him out of the corner of her eye, felt the sofa shift as he sat, but she made no acknowledgement toward him. She just continued to stare unseeing into the fire.
Setting his hand gently upon her shoulder, he asked quietly, "Hermione, are you okay?"
Without turning to look at him she whispered, "No, I don't think that I am."
Her voice sounded so forlorn, so hopeless, and so definite. Turning so that he was facing her more, he put his other hand upon her cheek and put just a bit of pressure on it, enough to get her to turn and look at him. When her eyes met his, he couldn't breath. He had never seen such a look of raw hurt and sadness before, and he wished he knew what had caused such a change in her. Without another thought, he pulled her to him and enveloped her in his arms, holding onto her as tightly as he dared so that she would hopefully know that she wasn't alone.
After a few minutes of him holding her and she just leaning upon him stiffly, he felt her body suddenly relax and the next thing he knew she had flung her arms around his neck, holding on as if her life depended on it. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried, her body shaking with the force of her tears. He just held tight and let her cry, somehow knowing it was something she needed to do to feel better. He closed his eyes, feeling so worthless, and she sniffled a little and whispered, "You're not worthless. You mean so much to me."
His lips quirked for a split second, her words filling a hole in his heart he didn't know existed, but then he turned his concentration back to her. "You mean a lot to me too." When she was quiet and her crying seemed to subside he asked, "Want to talk about it?"
"I-I'm not sure that I can," she replied, her throat feeling raw from crying. When she felt the hurt run through him at her words she said, "Not because I don't want to. It's just that, I don't know exactly what's wrong. I think it has to do with my empath powers picking up everyone's emotions lately. It seems to be getting stronger, and I can't seem to control it as well anymore. When I'm around you is when I'm most calm usually, but when I'm around Remus I feel his hopelessness that his life means nothing at all, and then being around Sorcha, Firenze, and McGonagall today...they all think that we're doomed Harry. They've practically given up." Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and relaxed more into his embrace and said, "And don't even get me started on what I pick up when I'm around Ron and Luna. Those two are worse than rabbits and their rampaging hormones are making my control slip."
She stopped suddenly, knowing she had said too much. She hadn't wanted Harry to know how much she had been thinking about him, about being with him in that way, about how at night she just wanted to steal into his room and slip into bed next to him if only to feel his warmth next to her. It would make her sound weak and needy, and that was not acceptable right now. The final battle was coming soon, she didn't know how, but she knew that for certain and he needed her as a Guardian first and foremost. Everything else would need to be put on hold until afterwards, if they survived. Unless she decided to go through with the soul bonding ritual she had been studying up on...
Lost in her thoughts, her eyes opened wide when she felt his lips on hers, then quickly relaxed into the kiss. His lips were so familiar to her now, so inviting and warm, and she longed to just be lost in him. Telling her mind to shut up she pressed herself into him as much as she could, and accepting the silent invitation, he guided her backward until she was laying underneath him on the sofa. As his weight pushed her deeper into the cushions, all thoughts of battles and sadness fled her mind as all she knew at that moment was Harry, and how complete he made her feel.
~*~
The following weeks were better for Ron and Luna, but not much better for Harry and Hermione. They were going through so much training every day of the week that usually when night time rolled around, they were ready to drop from mental and physical exhaustion. Add to that the growing bond between them because of all the special exercises they had to do to establish the Guardian/Charge bond that was going to be critical in battle, and the atmosphere in Grimmauld Place was charged with tension and frustration. A couple weeks before Christmas, it all came to a terrible head and no one had any warning whatsoever.
"Harry, that's not how you're supposed to do it!"
"But that's how Sorcha said it was done, and you didn't say anything then!"
"I wasn't paying attention to Sorcha, I was watching you to see if you were doing it properly. You were then, you're not now!"
"Then by all means Hermione, show me how it's done!"
Ron and Luna, who had been downstairs in the sitting room lounging around, looked to one another in curiosity. These fights had been going on all week, and tonight's seemed to sound a bit more heated then usual...
"Fine then. You stand like this, use this movement, and think about what you're doing. Your movement was all wrong."
"Sorcha said I was doing it right!"
"In case you haven't noticed Harry, I'm not Sorcha! And you're not doing it correctly, so the outcome will be flawed."
"Oh, trust me Hermione, I know you're not Sorcha. She doesn't bark orders at me like you do!"
"No, she saves her verbal abuse for me!"
"Like you don't love the way she challenges you. You seem pretty proud of yourself after every session with her. Hey, wait, where do you think you're going? I'm not finished yet..."
"Oh, yes you are."
Hermione was silent after that, and Luna jumped as one of the other doors slammed shut suddenly. "That was either the door to my room, or the one to yours," Ron said, his eyebrows raised. "They're really going at it tonight, aren't they?"
"I can't blame them really," Luna replied, looking to the second floor as Hermione's raised voice could be heard again.
"How dare you! Are you saying that I like being mistreated like that? Like I'm some sort of sadist?"
"That's not what I was saying and you know it! Turn off your damn empath powers for a second and try to be yourself for a while."
Ron and Luna heard a sharp sound after that, and they knew that Hermione had just slapped Harry, but good. "He deserved it after that comment," Luna said softly.
"She's been yelling at him all week," Ron said in defense of his best mate. "I'd probably have said the same thing if I were him."
"Then you'd be the one with a stinging cheek right now," Luna replied, turning her hard stare on him, making him look away from her quickly.
Upstairs, in Harry's room, the two quarrelling teens kept at each other unmercifully. "If I'm not good enough for you," Hermione yelled, "Why don't you let your precious Sorcha help you every damn night?!"
Stopping short at her use of the word damn, Harry got his bearings back and fired right back at her, "Maybe I will. Then I wouldn't have to listen to you harp on me every night until I feel as if my ears were bleeding from it!"
When she went to strike him again, he reached up quickly and caught her wrist with his hand. He had a tight hold on her and she was struggling to free her hand, and letting his temper get the best of him, he spun her quickly. The next thing Hermione knew, he had her chest pressed against the door, her arm held behind her but not painfully so, as he pressed the length of his body against the back of her.
She could feel his hot breath on her cheek and ear as he leaned forward a little and gruffly said, "All week I've listened to you yell at me when all I've wanted to do is snog you senseless." With his free hand, he reached up and stroked her hair, then let his fingers glide down her back until it came to rest upon her waist. "I wake up in the morning aching because I want you so damn bad, and I go to sleep at night dreaming of the things I want to do to you. You're driving me mad."
"You think I don't feel it too?" she asked, her voice trembling from the intensity of the feelings that were coursing through her. "It's bad enough that I've been feeling the same way when I'm not with you, but then when I'm around you I pick up on your...needs too and it's all I can do not to just throw myself on you and snog you senseless. You're driving me mad as well."
"Well then," he replied, releasing her hand and grabbing her arm instead. Turning her quickly, he put both his arms around her waist, pulling her to him so that there wasn't any space inbetween them. "Why don't we stop talking so damn much and do something about it?"
~A/N2> Sorry for the cliffy, but the next chapter will be posted next Friday, so you won't have too long to
wait. Thanks for reading! :)