Author's Note: Hey all! 800 reviews--That is just incredible! You all are truly awesome! I'm sorry this chapter has taken a while to get to. I hope it was worth the wait. :D Thanks for being so patient!
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"Wow," Ron muttered, his eyes wide. "That's just-I've never heard of something like that in all my life. Is he-sure it's the spell?"
Hermione nodded, smiling slightly. "He's sure. And-I think he's right. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. The spell stripped him of what he wanted the most. Harry's always wanted to be loved, to have someone else to love. The cruelest thing it could do was take that away from him."
Ron swallowed hard. "But then, why didn't it take something else from you?"
Hermione gave him a sad smile. "It did. It took Harry."
"Oh."
"Yeah. So, will you talk to your mum, please? I really need all the help I can get figuring this out. I'm not asking her to forgive him, even though she should. I just want her to be nice to him. Or at least civil."
"I'll see what I can do," Ron sighed. "I, um-I feel bad. It's all my fault that she's mad at him in the first place."
"Not all, Ron. Harry and I had a hand in it too." She laughed as he flinched. "Metaphorically speaking. So you'll ask her?"
"I will. When are you going to bring him over?"
"Later, sometime. Just floo me and let me know when it's all clear."
"All right. Good luck talking Harry into it."
She gave him a quick hug, then Apparated back to her apartment. She started to call for Harry, then stopped, smiling. He was asleep on her couch, his arms folded over his chest, bare feet propped on her favorite throw pillow.
She leaned over him, running her fingers through his hair, grinning as he tilted his head further into her hand. It seemed almost inexcusable to her that she hadn't noticed. She'd known something was wrong with him, sure, but to not have realized that he was in so much pain?
His hand came up and closed around hers and his eyes blinked open, focusing on her. "Hey," he whispered, his voice still rough with sleep. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."
"It's all right. You don't have anywhere to be. And, if you're last two days have been anything like mine, you haven't gotten much sleep."
He shook his head, turning to place a small kiss on her wrist. "Not really. Guilt is a miserable thing."
She fought back a wince. "Don't feel guilty. It's nothing you can help."
He laughed softly. "Yeah, it's easy to say that, but I was the one who did the spell. I'm the only one to blame."
She ground her teeth. "Would you stop it? You did what you thought you had to! It blew up in your face! Yeah, it's terrible, and we're trying to fix it but, for the love of God, let it go! If I have to hear you say you're sorry one more time, I'm going to hit you!"
He blinked up at her, his eyes wide. "Right. I'm s-I mean, I'll stop."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm her frayed nerves. "It's all right, Harry. It's not you. I just-you keep saying that you're sorry and-it just doesn't matter. I know you are, but that isn't fixing anything. And I don't know what will fix it. I just know that we have to find the answer, and I don't know where to look. I don't know what to do."
"Don't stress yourself out over it, Hermione. You either find the answer or you don't. Getting all bugged about it won't help either way."
She moved around the couch, sitting down beside him. "I've asked Ron to help us, and I've asked him to get his family to, as well. I know you don't want to be around them, but the more people we have looking, the sooner we can find out how to reverse the spell. Will you go over there with me after while?"
He groaned. "I really don't want to. You know that."
"I know. I just think we can use all the help we can get. Please, Harry, just consider it?"
He sighed. "All right, I'll think about it."
"Thank you," she smiled. "I've also been thinking about how to get your magic back. I'm not sure that it would go back to you automatically, once the spell is broken. I think I'm going to have to give it back."
He reached his hand up, running it along her cheek. "I don't know how," he said softly, his eyes burning into hers in a way that left her certain he couldn't have cared less about that at the moment. "I can't shield myself to take jinxes like you did. And charms or anything non-harmful doesn't give enough back. That's why I chose jinxes in the first place."
"There has to be a way. If I have to, I'll just keep charming you until we get it."
"Oh, you're charming all right," Harry muttered, his hand moving back to curl into her hair. "You have no idea how charming you are."
A tutting sound escaped her lips before she could stop it. "Harry, now is really not the best time for that."
He dropped his hand. "Right."
She forced herself to move away from him although she desperately didn't want to. She wanted to stay right there and let him keep touching her. "Um, Harry? Can I-ask you something?"
He nodded, sitting up and stretching. "Yeah, sure."
"Why didn't-why didn't you ever tell us? About this-effect, I mean."
He stared at her as if she'd grown two heads, then laughed harshly. "Yeah, because that's a real conversation-starter, that. 'How's it going, Hermione? How's work? Did I mention that I think I'm now somewhat less than human?' That's not something I really wanted you to know."
"You're not less than human, Harry. You just-you're missing something, and we're going to get it back for you."
"And what I'm missing is part of what would make me human." He sighed. "I know you don't understand, Hermione, but I feel less than human. I feel like I'm--." He shook his head. "Never mind."
"What?" she asked, coming toward him again. "You feel like what? Please, Harry, I want to understand this."
He shrugged, frowning. "I just-I think I now understand what Voldemort must have felt like. I know," he added, holding up his hand to cut off her protests. "His was by choice, and mine isn't, but-he lived his whole life without loving anyone but himself. It's-it's not a good feeling."
"Which is why we have to solve this problem and get you back. You aren't Voldemort, Harry. You want to love. He never did. He enjoyed not having that feeling. You'll never be him."
He smiled sadly. "That's the thing, Hermione. I could be. I've managed not to be so far, but-you don't know how easy it would be, if I had my magic, to just-give in. To use my lack of feeling and just-run with it."
"But you wouldn't. You know what hurt he caused. You remember it, even if you don't feel it. You're not going to become him, Harry. You know better."
He nodded. "Yeah, you're right," he said, but he hardly sounded convinced. "So have you started reading up the bonding spell?"
"A bit. You're right, though, there isn't much out there. I think I'm going to go to Flourish and Blotts tomorrow and see what they have."
"You won't find it there."
"Why not?"
He rolled his eyes. "It's dark magic, Hermione. Flourish and Blotts doesn't have a restricted section. I promise you, they won't have anything detailed about bonding spells."
She shook her head. "You don't know that."
"So you're just going to-what? Stroll up to the counter and ask for information on a dark spell? Which auror would you like to have a visit from?"
"I see your point," she muttered, chewing her lip. "Oh, but-Auror! Tonks. She might know something about it."
"I'd really rather not find out. Look, you've already told Ron who is, in turn, telling the Weasleys. I'd prefer it if the whole of London doesn't find out, so can we please stop telling people now?"
She sank down onto the couch beside him again, putting her arm around him. "I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't even think that you might be-embarrassed by this."
He shook his head, dropping his head onto her shoulder. "It's all right. Just-don't tell Tonks. She'll tell Remus, and I-really don't want Remus to know."
"I won't tell Tonks. I promise." She reached up to thread her fingers through his hair, and sighed as he turned his head to look up at her. He was going to kiss her; she could tell by the look in his eyes. And she wasn't going to stop him. She should, she knew, but she wouldn't. No matter what else he had going on with him, he was still Harry, and she still wanted him.
His lips caught hers and she kissed him back, mentally kicking herself. So she had no resolve when it came to Harry; she'd always known that. Of course, she was going to have some explaining to do with Ron.
He broke off the kiss and leaned back to spread out on the couch, pulling her with him, and she went without hesitation.
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She hadn't intended to fall asleep, but it had been almost impossible to resist the drowsiness that settled in as Harry held her in his arms. It felt so good just to have him holding her.
She awoke to the sound of her name, and thought, at first, that it was Harry. One glance up at him, however, told her that he, too, was asleep.
"Hermione? Where are you?"
"Ron?" she muttered, then sat up and looked around. "Ron!"
He glanced over at her from the fireplace, his eyes widening. "Oh-I, uh--." He broke off, blushing.
It wasn't hard to imagine why. She was starkers, as was Harry, and both were clearly visible from Ron's spot in the floo. She covered herself quickly with her hand, rummaging through her clothes for her wand. "Shut your eyes," she snapped at Ron when she caught him ogling her. "Just-shut them."
She found her wand and summoned a blanket from her bedroom, wrapping it around first herself, then Harry, who had stirred only slightly. "Sorry, Hermione," Ron stammered. "I wasn't-I didn't mean to interrupt."
"It's fine. It was-stupid of me to have fallen asleep. I should have remembered you'd be-calling." She made sure everything was covered, then sighed. "All right, you can look now."
He looked up hopefully, then frowned. "Oh. Um, I really didn't-so does this mean that you two are--?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I-I don't know what it means. We're still-trying to figure things out."
Ron nodded, but she couldn't miss the irritation on his face. "Right. I, um-I talked to my mum. She said Harry could come over if he wants. She's willing to try and help him."
"Oh, thank God. Was she-Did she sound-okay with it?"
He sighed. "She's still not happy with him. But she said she would be civil."
"That's big of her," Harry muttered, unhelpfully, as he stretched and opened his eyes. "Guess I shouldn't expect too much."
"Oh, hey Harry," Ron said, his voice strained. "I, um-I should go. Do you know when you're coming over?"
"In a little while," Hermione broke in, poking Harry hard in the side. "Um, thank you-Ron. I appreciate this."
"Yeah. No problem. See you in a bit." He disappeared with a pop and Hermione let out a groan, dropping her head onto Harry's chest.
"That was a nice wake-up call, hmm?" Harry laughed softly, rubbing his eyes. "I take it you hadn't thought to get a blanket before you fell asleep?"
She groaned again. "No, of course not."
"So he got a nice little look-see then, huh?"
"Oh yeah." She sighed heavily. "I, um-I told him that we wouldn't-sleep together."
"Well, he obviously knows you were wrong."
"This isn't exactly the way I wanted him to find out," she muttered. "I would have preferred to tell him some other way."
"Yeah, but he got to see you naked, so-added bonus for him."
"That's not funny," she snapped, sitting up and reaching for her clothes. "Get up and get dressed, would you? We need to get to the Weasleys and get to work on this spell."
She started to climb over him but he grabbed her arms, holding her still. "Hey." She grudgingly looked at him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-have made a joke."
She shrugged. "It's fine, Harry. I just-I want to fix this. Soon."
"Believe me, I do too," he said softly. He grimaced at her, leaning up to kiss her gently. "I just hate that I have to count on the Weasleys to help me with it."
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An hour later, they stood in front of the Burrow, looking up at the misshapen, rickety-looking silhouette. Harry was already irritated by the fact that he'd had to side-along apparate here with Hermione, which didn't bode well for what was coming. "If I say I want to leave, we leave. Right?"
She nodded. "Absolutely. It'll be fine, Harry, I promise. Just relax."
He looked at her for a minute, then shrugged. "All right. Let's get it over with."
He held the door open for her as they walked inside, stopping short at the sight of Mrs. Weasley standing by the kitchen table. "Hello, Hermione," she said, giving a half-smile that disappeared as her eyes turned to Harry. "Harry."
Hermione felt Harry tense as he stood beside her. "Mrs. Weasley."
"Come in, please. Would you like something to drink?" Molly was obviously not trying very hard to keep a polite tone to her voice, and Hermione was beginning to think this whole thing was a really bad idea.
"No, thanks," Harry said, a cool tone to his voice as well. He pulled out a chair at the table for Hermione, which earned him a nasty look from Molly, and then sat down beside her. "Ron's told you everything, I'm guessing."
"Oh, yes. Interesting story," Mrs. Weasley smirked. "You should have known better than to go messing around with such a dodgy spell, Harry."
Hermione could actually hear Harry grinding his teeth. "Yes, well," she broke in quickly, her voice tense. "It's done now. All we can do is try to fix it."
"I suppose, although I'm not sure how you'll do that. It's an illegal spell to perform, you know." Mrs. Weasley cast another cold glance at Harry. "He rightly should have to face charges for it. If it weren't for Ron's insistence that Harry meant well, I'd feel it my duty to turn him in."
Hermione gasped. "You would never! What is your problem?" she snapped, waving Harry off as he tried to interrupt her. "Is this all because I'm in love with Harry and not Ron?"
Mrs. Weasley turned on her, her face reddened with anger. "In love with him?" she snapped. "That's just rich, isn't it? Of all the things I've ever considered you, Hermione, fickle was certainly not one of them. When did you decide you loved him? When you woke up in his bed?"
Harry, apparently, couldn't stay quiet any longer. "It had nothing to do with you," he growled, standing up and leaning across the table toward Mrs. Weasley. "As much as you'd like to believe that you've been personally wronged, our relationship doesn't have a damn thing to do with you."
"Harry," Ron said softly, warningly, stepping into the room. "Ease up, mate."
"Ease up?" Harry snapped. "What right does she have to say anything about it?"
"None," Ron agreed. "She knows she has no right, but it's my fault that she's angry with you. She's sticking up for me--."
"I can speak for myself, Ronald!" his mother huffed.
"Not right now, you can't," Ron shot back, shaking his head. "Not if you're going to talk like that. Harry needs our help, and after all he's done for us, it's the least we can do to give it to him."
Mrs. Weasley scowled, although Hermione suspected that it was as much because Ron was right as it was irritation at having been spoken to like that. "So you've forgiven him then?"
Ron frowned, then shook his head. "No, not exactly. I'm still angry at him about what happened, and how it happened, but I can't ignore the fact that he was my friend for a long time."
Mrs. Weasley scoffed. "Yes, of course he was. If you want to help him, so be it. I'll do what I can. But what he did to you was wrong."
"Which is my problem, Mum! Look, if you're going to help, help. If not, go on and let us get some work done."
Mrs. Weasley blinked at him a few times, then settled herself quietly at the table and pulled a book toward her.