The Azkaban Hot Tub Tales by Miranda Aurelia (Blue Lady)
A/N: Apparently I'm only inspired to write during exam period, which is really not good. I guess stress makes a good motivator. =D The next chapter should be up soon, since I've got the rest of the story practically written out by now - within the space of two days too, I might add. It's amazing what Quantum Mechanics can do to one's muse. That and facebook is not helping with the studying… ><
A big thank you to everyone that took the time to review! I noticed that the amount of readers went down by A
LOT…hopefully somebody can tell me what parts I need to fix...?
Opps...almost forgot the disclaimer. Harry Potter...is not mine.
Chapter 5: Scripted Art
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"
Ginny just groaned and buried her face into Draco's shirt. "Please tell me that's not Ron," she moaned.
"Darling," smirked Draco, "It's my publicist…and judging from the steam coming out of his ears, I'd say he's pissed. Like really pissed."
"Blaise?" As the other boy came into view, Ginny twisted out of Draco's arms and looked at the other Slytherin with a confused expression, "You're Draco's publicist?!"
"You bet your arse I am!" growled Blaise before he jabbed a finger into Draco's chest, "And you! What the heck do you think you're doing?!"
"Breathing."
"Well, you won't be for long," threatened Blaise, "Do you have ANY idea how much time I've spent perfecting this new image of yours?"
"Yes," said Draco coolly, "And you are being paid your worth in large amounts of butterbeer and the chance to live vicariously through my numerous escapades."
"I spent all my time trying to perfect your bad-boy, evil Slytherin image so that nobody'll suspect that you're turning traitor and this is how you thank me! All my hard work for naught," Blaise moaned, "I'm ruined, ruined I say!"
"If you say so, buddy."
"Blaise, calm down," Ginny cut in when the other boy stopped to take a breath, "I'm sure we can find some way to solve this-"
"He wasn't supposed to propose until like two years later!" Blaise snapped, "And that's only when you like three months along!"
Ginny's eyes narrowed, "And did either of you think to ask me if I was okay with this before you proceeded?" she asked in a dangerously quiet voice, "Because if you think I'm going to have my life dictated-"
"The proper word is scripted," corrected Blaise.
"Scripted!" Then Draco had to physically restrain her from scratching Blaise's eyes out, "You are gravely mistaken, you git!"
Blaise just rolled his eyes before he opened his book bag and thrust a huge stack of parchment into Ginny's hands.
"Let me tell you," said Blaise in a long suffering voice as Ginny leafed through the huge pile, "I've already had to make numerous adjustments and changes ever since Malfoy here-" he threw Draco a dirty look, "-shot down my first idea!"
"You wanted to pair me with Granger!" Draco sneered, "Geez! Even an idiot would have figured out that I'd be cuckolded in under two months if I married her!"
"Hey, take that back!" Ginny slapped his arm, "Hermione is not a scarlet woman!"
"I didn't call her a scarlet woman, Red."
"You were implying it," Ginny threw her hair back, "For your information, Hermione's probably the most faithful person I know!"
"To Potter."
"Well, that's true, but-"
"What I meant," continued Draco patiently, "Is that she'd probably end up shagging Potter anyways regardless of whom Blaise here decided to pair her up with."
Blaise nodded his agreement. "It didn't occur to me at the time…but you're right - for once."
"Your confidence in me is overwhelming," said Draco dryly, "But then you are my great, all-knowing publicist, so what can I say?"
"You flatter me."
"That's more like it." Draco smirked, "Now maybe you can explain to me, oh great all-knowing publicist of mine, why half the school still has trouble figuring out whether you're a guy or a girl."
Ginny was amused to see the other boy turn a deep shade of red.
"Technicalities," Blaise finally gritted out.
"Oh really?" Draco asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Look buddy," Blaise narrowed his eyes, "It's not my fault that half the school has trouble figuring that simple mathematics have it that Slytherin doesn't have enough guys in 6th year if they only count you, Goyle and Crabbe."
"You forgot what's-his-face and that other guy he hangs out with," noted Draco.
"Yes, but since everyone forgets them, I am a GUY because you need to have some guy in Slytherin to bitch at besides Crabbe and Goyle and because the crazy author writing this has decided that she needed someone else in Slytherin with some semblance of brains so DEAL WITH IT!"
"Someone's PMSing today," Draco tsk-tsked.
"Oh man," Blaise looked ready to strangle someone - the someone in this case being Draco - "I'm a GUY!"
"Hmm," Draco looked at him doubtfully.
"Oh for heaven's sake," growled Ginny before she grabbed Blaise's face and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.
Draco's mouth opened and closed wordlessly. "How could you do this to me?!" he demanded when he finally got his voice back.
"I was trying to prove a point, okay?" Ginny said in an exasperated voice, "Now will you two stop bickering?!"
"You weren't supposed to steal my girl!" Draco pointed an accusing finger at Blaise.
"I'm not!"
"Then why was she kissing you?!"
"To prove that he's a guy, now STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!" Ginny ended up screaming.
"Easy on the decibels there!" Draco rubbed his left ear, "How are you, Blaise?"
"Ow…" Blaise rubbed his right ear, "I think I've just gone temporarily deaf in my right ear."
"Now if you two immature jerks are done with your male bonding, can we get back to business?"
Not waiting for an answer, Ginny marched up to Blaise and jabbed a finger into his chest, "You will think of a better script that does not involve me getting giving birth to eleven little Malfoys or going evil or whatever, is that clear?" she stressed the last word with another jab.
"Loud and clear," muttered Blaise, rubbing the point on his chest where she had been jabbing him mercilessly.
"I don't see what's wrong with eleven little Malfoys…" said Draco under his breath.
"And you!" Ginny turned her furious gaze on Draco, "I love you, but can you please stop overreacting to every little thing?!"
"I do not overreact," Draco said indignantly.
"Yes you do."
"No I don't," Draco glared at Blaise.
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do to-" Blaise was quieted when Ginny lost her patience and slapped a silencing charm on him.
"Have I mentioned how much I absolutely adore you, Gin?" wondered Draco out loud.
"Not nearly enough."
*******************************************
Meanwhile, Duke was trying to get into his thinking mode by balancing himself on his head. He reasoned that if all the blood rushed down there, it would provide more oxygen and thus increase his intellectual capabilities.
"I am so smart," he thought to himself smugly. He was more than sure that Draco wouldn't be smart enough to think of this!
He had already sent off the parchment with all the information he had picked up, including Draco's impending marriage to the youngest Weasley (Won't Lucius blow a fuse over that one, Duke cackled), as well as the description of an interesting item he had found under Draco's bed.
The item in question was round and shiny with a small hole in the middle. He deduced that this "Michelle Branch" character whose name was inscribed on the object must be the name of one of Lucius's spies.
There didn't seem to be any spells on it, but one could never be too sure, so, after pulling on some surgical gloves, he gingerly placed it in a wooden box that he used especially for potentially lethal magical items.
With his head pressing against the floor, Duke tried to concentrate and decide on the next step of action.
<>After a few minutes, he wisely concluded that it was pretty amazing how…upside down everything looked from this particular point of view.
*****************************************
"I think there's something he's not telling me," groused Harry.
"Now why would Draco want to do something like that?"
The Gryffindor tower was temporarily empty save for Harry, Ron and Hermione ever since ten minutes ago when Harry had walked in, glanced around the room and said, "Voldemort".
The resulting stampede towards the portrait hole almost resulted in the Fat Lady being knocked OUT of the portrait itself, a feat that was unparalleled since the founding of Hogswarts.
Hermione had only sighed, continued with her essay and asked her boyfriend why he couldn't have found a better way of getting everyone out.
"AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES A GRYFFINDOR?!" yelled Ron after the retreating crowd.
"Uh, Ron," Harry said carefully, "Your hands are shaking."
Ron quickly sat on his hands, "What did you say?"
"Nevermind."
End Part 5
As usual, reviews are appreciated. This should most likely be a 9-10 chapter fic, but if anybody still wants more at
the end, I am thinking about writing a Book 2.
Also, Draco and Ginny's son from the future makes an appearance in Chapter 6. ;)