The Azkaban Hot Tub Tales by Miranda Aurelia (Blue Lady)
A/N: The coming chapters are my favorites of this fic. Hope you like! =D
Chapter 6: Guide to Messing with Timeturners
"I think there's something he's not telling me," groused Harry.
"Now why would Draco want to do something like that?"
The Gryffindor tower was temporarily empty save for Harry, Ron and Hermione ever since ten minutes ago when Harry had walked in, glanced around the room and said, "Voldemort".
The resulting stampede towards the portrait hole almost resulted in the Fat Lady being knocked OUT of the portrait itself, a feat that was unparalleled since the founding of Hogswarts.
Hermione had only sighed, continued with her essay and asked her boyfriend why he couldn't have found a better way of getting everyone out.
"AND YOU CALL YOURSELVES A GRYFFINDOR?!" yelled Ron after the retreating crowd.
"Uh, Ron," Harry said carefully, "Your hands are shaking."
Ron quickly sat on his hands, "What did you say?"
"Nevermind."
So Harry proceeded to brief the two of them about his conversation with Ferret-Boy and his suspicions that Draco wasn't being entirely forthcoming with what he knew.
"Because he's a bloody prick, that's why."
"Well," Hermione rolled her eyes, "Now that we've established that important fact, what are we going to do?"
"Buy some AK-47's."
"What's an AK-47?" interjected Ron.
"Of course we're not!" scoffed Hermione, "That's just ridiculous. Witches don't carry AK-47's, even if it was popular in Afghanistan!"
"Then what do they carry?" asked Ron, who was starting to look a bit confused.
"A couple of blasters and a thermal detonator," said Hermione reasonably then she frowned, "Uh…What did I just say?"
"Opps," muttered the author, "Wrong fandom. I knew I should've stopped reading all that Jaina and Jag angst…How the heck could you have dumped Jag for Zekk?! That is just wrong!"
"Ahem," Harry glared, "Can we get back on topic here?"
"Sorry," the author replied meekly, then wonders if she offended any die-hard J/Z fans out there.
"Anyways, as I was saying," Harry with another glare, "We need some good curses-"
"Too bad you're, like, too good and pure to use any of the unforgivables…that would save us a lot of trouble," muttered Ron.
"-and simply oblivating everyone is boring, so any ideas?"
There was a moment of silence.
"….so how about those AK-47's?"
*******************************************
About 20 or so years in the future at Hogwarts:
"I need to go get something because of this plot twist the author wants to throw in. Save me a seat!" called Shawn before Ben disappeared down the stairs.
As the blond was walking down the hallway to Gryffindor tower, he noticed a small hourglass lying on the ground.
Frowning, he picked it up and turned it over a few times, never mind the fact that he was effectively breaking Rule #56 of the 'Malfoy Code of Survival' which stated: Never play with sparkly hourglass-like objects - because for all you know they might be a freaking time turner!
A split second later, the room started to dissolve around him and he felt himself flying through a blur of colors and shapes.
Shawn groaned as his mental voice reprimanded him for being too darn curious for his own good. Stupid conscience.
Now what?
He had obviously just traveled back in time....
...and he was still at Hogwarts, that was something he was sure of. Now…should he freak out or just wing it?
After careful consideration for a moment, he thought that freaking out sounded pretty good.
Present:
Ginny was on her way to back to the Common Room when a loud cry of frustration stopped her in her tracks.
Shawn paused in the middle of his loud ranting and saw a redhead staring at him with what could only be described as an extremely wary expression. "Oh thank Merlin…" he thought before he threw himself at her. "Mom!!"
Seconds later, the blond-haired student (who oddly resembled Draco) had wrapped his arms around her legs and was blabbering away.
"Good grief…how many cousins does Draco have?" Ginny thought to herself in disbelief as she looked down at the unknown student. "Uh…think you can let go of my legs now?"
Shawn paused in his ramblings to throw her a glare, "Gimme a second okay," he said irritably, "Sheesh, I'm still adjusting here!" Then he continued on with his blabbering.
Ginny fought the urge to roll her eyes. "Can you just tell me why you're decided to latch onto my leg? And don't tell me that you got pushed down a flight of stairs because that's getting a bit unoriginal."
He scowled at her and once again, Ginny was a bit taken back with his resemblance to Draco. Yup…that was the trademark Malfoy scowl alright.
"I got sent back in time." Shawn said slowly, glaring at the hourglass on the ground beside him like it was some kind of distasteful insect. "And no, it wasn't intentional or I wouldn't be freaking out like the world's ending and hence clinging to your leg like some kind of deranged groupie."
Personally, Ginny didn't care much for the sarcastic tone that had appeared near the end of his comment, but there was something about him that made her want to…reassure him? odd as it seemed.
"So…why are you clinging to my leg again?" Ginny looked down and unconsciously ran her fingers through the soft blond strands of hair. "Do I know you in the future?"
"Duh, I'm your son!"
When Shawn felt his mother's younger self tense, he was suddenly reminded of the Malfoy Code of Survival - Rule #17: 'Tact is needed around people that beat you to within an inch of your life.'
Last time he checked, that applied to his mother as well, although she seemed to prefer making him spend afternoons with 'dear Uncle Percy', which in his mind, was even worse than getting beaten up.
Heck, even Grandfather Lucius almost shuddered when he told him about it and that guy was like, evil (or so he claimed).
Meanwhile, Ginny was a bit stumped by this revelation, but then her thoughts veered off, "Blaise! That….stupid…prat! I am so going to kill him!" she thought rather irrationally, seeing as Blaise couldn't have possibly done anything like this.
"Hello! Mom! A little bit of a reaction would be great!"
"Please don't tell me I'm going to be an unwed teenage mother," groaned Ginny, covering her face with her hands, "Because that's not very good."
"Uh…" Shawn looked a bit confused by this, "I'm pretty sure I wasn't born until you were in your twenties."
"I'm going to kill Blaise," she muttered before she looked down, "So you'll have to let go of my leg now."
"No!" yelped Shawn, "You're the only reason why I'm not freaking out…as much."
"Um, sorry to tell you, but I'M CLOSE TO FREAKING OUT!"
"Moms aren't supposed to freak out."
"Well, I'm an exception!" Ginny wanted to stomp her foot, but since Shawn still had a tight grip on her leg, she settled for wringing her arms.
"I reckon so."
"So why didn't you go and look for Draco?"
"Look for Dad? He's in enemy territory! Geez, do you know what they do to innocent, time-warped Gryffindors down there?"
"Uh…no?"
"Good, neither do I."
"What's your name?"
"Huh?"
"Your name." her brow wrinkled, "I hope I didn't name you something weird."
"Not really. Name's Shawn."
"Okay, Shawn," Ginny looked around, "I think it would probably be better if we got out of the hallway because Filch has this hallway equals sacred ground mentality going on whenever night comes."
Shawn finally released his grip before Ginny grabbed his hand, pulled him onto his feet and practically dragged him down the hallway. As the portrait of the Fat Lady swung open, she climbed through the hole and was relieved to see that the common room was surprisingly empty.
Quickly, she motioned for Shawn to follow her up the stairs and breathed a sigh of relief when nobody noticed her guest.
"So…" Shawn asked nervously, "What are the chances of Uncle Ron killing me when he finds out that I'm your new roommate?"
Ginny shrugged, "It was either this or spending the night in the dungeons, and I can tell you, it isn't that
comfortable down there."
"I heard that you did that all the time though. Something about the silk sheets…?."
Shawn was kind of amused to see his mother flush a deep red. "I can always ground you, you know."
"Why couldn't you have this unimaginative that time I accidentally smashed that amulet?" he complained.
"Okay," Ginny grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment, "Note to self: think of better punishments for son." She scribbled away, trying to hide her smirk, "Anything else?"
"You're pure evil, Mom!"
"Then what's Draco?"
<>"Him? Oh don't worry; you're eviler than he is. At least, that's what Dad always says. By the way, it was the twins that slipped Uncle Fred that cursed frog, not me!"
"Twins?!" shrieked Ginny.
"Uh…" Shawn ran his fingers through his hair nervously, "Maybe I wasn't supposed to tell you that…."
The next morning…
"Hey Ginny, can I- ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod!"
Ginny slowly opened one of her eyes to see two of the girls in her year staring unabashingly at the figure occupying the other bed.
Sometime during the night, Shawn had kicked some of the covers off, so he now he was lying there half-naked. Ginny would have stolen some of Draco's clothes, but she had been too busy grilling her son for details for blackmail material to use against Draco instead.
"Oh my God!"
At the moment, Shawn finally woke up and slowly stretched, letting out a huge yawn as he did so.
"Hey! Eyes off of my son's six-pack!" growled Ginny as the girls' eyes immediately fastened onto Shawn.
Luckily, the other two girls were too absorbed to notice the "my son" slip, but one of the girls turned to the other one excitedly, "Ohmigod, this is too good, we have to tell everyone!! Ginny has a half-naked guy in her room! We're telling!!"
"What? No!!" Ginny shrieked before snapping at her son, "And you, stop preening!"
"Sorry, habit," mumbled Shawn, running his hands through his hair, "Geez, I do have a girlfriend you know."
"Hey Ginny," Hermione rubbed her eyes sleepily, "What's this I hear about- ohmigod!"
"Hey mom! I'm a god now!"
"No, you aren't." said Ginny crossly, even if she did find the idea quite amusing.
"But even Aunt Hermione said so, and she's never wrong!"
"You being a god doesn't mean that I can't ground you."
"He looks like he could be related to Draco!" Hermione finally gasped out.
"What tipped you off? Was it the hair?" asked Shawn sardonically.
"Or the fact that he can't keep his mouth shut?"
"It was the smirk actually. It's kind of like Draco's - it makes me want to punch it off his face." Hermione finally concluded.
"Oi! No fair picking on the god!" protested Shawn.
"God of what exactly?!"
"Uh…hotness?"
Ginny threw up her hands, "How does your girlfriend even stand you?"
"I'm really feeling the love here, mom."
End Part 6
Coming up in Chapter 7: Draco, Harry and Ron all react in their own way to Shawn's presence. *insert evil
grin*