Belong to Nowhere
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
Like always a huge thank you to Acoustics1220- for the beta.
Chapter 23: Misconceptions
"Hermione!" He grabbed her by her shoulders, the two of them standing in the middle of the room. "She lied to you - like she lied to me."
***
"Why, Harry? Why did she lie to me? To us?" Hermione asked again, the hopeless disbelief evident in her voice. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing an old T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Harry was by her side, only in his boxers; his arms wrapped around her shoulders.
"I don't know, sweet," he replied softly, a glint of anger still evident in his voice, "I don't know." He sighed, closing his eyes briefly to open them again a moment later. "When I realized that she had lied to me about you and Dean, I got really angry but I thought I should talk to her-with her- about it. I wanted to give her the opportunity to explain herself. However, now..." His breathing became erratic. "How could she?!" Harry let go Hermione, stood up angrily, and walked to the window. "How could she?"
Hermione, who had also stood from the bed, went towards him, and hugged him from behind. "I-I know, Harry," she replied quietly. "She still loves you." Harry barely nodded, still looking trough the window, petting the blue phoenix absently. 'Have you stayed here all night? Oh boy...' Harry thought. "She has this fixation about you...I-I don't think she intended any harm." Somehow that sounded like a weak argument even for Hermione, but she let that impression go away.
The young wizard turned around and fixed his gaze on hers. "You don't think she wanted any harm?! God, Hermione!" Harry cried exasperatedly, his hands on her shoulders. "She lied! She spread a rumor about you being pregnant!"
Hermione looked up at him, and her eyes began to fill with unshed tears. "I-I..."
Seeing her in such a state, made Harry's heart nearly break.
"Shh," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her, in a silly attempt to make everything bad go away. "We will talk with her; found out why she created all these lies." Harry closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation of having Hermione in his arms, her head against his bare chest.
Why did they take so long to realize? Why he had been so blind- and stupid- to not become conscious of his love her? Merlin, how much time they had wasted!
They stayed there, wrapped in each others arms; neither of them exactly knowing how much time had passed- if an hour, minutes, or even just seconds. Neither really cared. Of course they knew they had to leave the room at some point, they knew there was still a war out there. They knew they had to speak to Ginny, to try and understand; to at least comprehend - to give her a chance to explain.
Harry always thought the better of all the Weasleys, Okay, maybe not about Percy... and this had nothing to do with the fact that he and Ginny had snogged a few times. Yes, looking back, Harry could realize that his and Ginny's relationship was only about snogging; nothing more, nothing less.
However it couldn't be said the same about him and Hermione. And that didn't mean -only- the fact that they had made love. No, even before that first kiss, even before those almost kisses. His and Hermione's connection was different, special.
He loved her.
He loved her so much, and so deeply that he didn't even think it was possible. And when he remembered that he could have lost the love of his life because of Ginny's damn lies...
He couldn't understand. Was he too innocent, old-fashioned to think that if you really love someone you would never lie like that? Not in that painful way. And it had been only those lies, or was there something else? Until which point he could still call Ginny trustful, a friend?
That day, that horrible day, that he had thought Hermione was a traitor, Ginny- now- seemed to have pushed Harry into believing that. Or did she? No, Harry couldn't believe in that; it would be too cruel.
Too low.
But then, when Hermione's parents had died...
"Harry? Hermione?" Sirius' voice broke Harry's thoughts. "May I come in?" he asked through the door.
"Yea..." Harry was saying when Hermione interrupted him, splitting their embrace, and rushing towards the bed.
"No!" Harry looked at her, quizzically. "Just a minute!"
The young wizard could've sworn he heard chuckling.
"Hermione?"
"Put a shirt on," she hissed, tossing him his shirt that was previously piled on the floor.
"Hermione," he began, patiently, "when he came here earlier, I think he could guess what we did."
"That's not the point."
Instead of saying anything, Harry just rolled his eyes and put on the shirt. "Done. Happy?"
"Immensely." She kissed him on the cheek. "You can come in, Sirius!" she called.
Sirius opened the door, and stepped in, smiling slyly at them. "You forgot the pants, Mr. Potter."
Harry glared at him; Hermione simply rolled her eyes. "Sirius-" Harry began.
Sirius held up his hands in mock surrender. "All right! All right, Mister Evans." He sobered up. "Why don't you get properly dressed and meet me downstairs, in the kitchen? I think we need to have a talk, don't you?"
Without waiting for an answer, Sirius turned around and left.
###
Grimmauld's Place, the kitchen
"Well, how to begin, huh?" Sirius asked no one in particular, circling his tea cup with the pointer of his fingers. "Last night you two-"
Harry held up a hand motioning to stop. "Sirius," he spoke gravely, his eyes staring at his godfather, "I love you, you know I do, and having you here- again- is just...wow! I am still trying to process all this. However, what did or didn't happen last night only concerns me, and Hermione." He took her hand and squeezed it slightly, smiling at her.
"Actually," Sirius replied with a mischievous glint in his eye, "it does concern me." He then looked meaningfully at Hermione, who gasped in horror, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.
"Oh!" she gasped, blushing hotly.
Harry looked back and forth between Hermione and Sirius, his eyebrows knitted in a questioning expression. "What-?"
"The bond," Hermione mouthed.
Harry's face went white, then red, then white again. "Oh..." he muttered weakly, not daring to look into Sirius' eyes.
Damn sodding bond!
The embarrassing moment was broken by a hard laugh, Sirius' laugh.
"Oh, man!" the older wizard spoke after some time, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. "You should have seen your faces! Priceless!!"
"Y-you d-didn't...?" Hermione asked tentatively, the flush on her cheeks fading.
Sirius shook his head, his laugh subduing. "No." Harry glowered at him. "And you, Harry Potter, stop looking like that! Yes, it was a joke but, you two hadn't even thought of that, huh?" The two teenagers looked down, shaking their heads.
"I-I'm sorry, Sirius," Hermione apologized almost in a whisper. "I-It's my fault. I-I should have thought about the bond. I-"
"No, love," Harry said firmly, "this is also my fault. I shouldn't have..."
"No, Harry...."
"STOP!" Sirius yelled. "Stop this blaming contest right now!" He rubbed his temples. "For Merlin's sake, you two are worse than any sappy Muggle novel!"
Harry gave him a lopsided grin.
"B-but how?" Hermione asked before anyone could speak. "Not that I am not grateful that you didn't feel anything last night, but-"
Sirius sobered up. "I took a Sleeping Potion."
"Oh."
"But I could still feel pleasure in my sleep, if you know what I mean." He cleared his throat. "Um, but I didn't call you two here to talk about the bond." Sirius bit his bottom lip as he wondered about something. "Of course this is an issue that we need to discuss; but not now. First I need to talk with Filius about some magical implications," he spoke the last part almost to himself; Harry and Hermione exchanged confused glances, but decided to not comment. Hermione did want to ask Sirius about it but there was no need of a bond connection to realize that he would not answer her- just the tone of his voice was telling her.
"Okay," Sirius spoke again, coming back from his own reverie. "So last night, you two..."
"Sirius..." Harry began, in a warning tone
"No, Harry," Sirius replied firmly. "You two are going to hear me out."
"Sirius," Harry spoke again.
"Please, Harry. I am not here to give you two a lecture. No, it's not my place or nature to do it." Sirius drank a little of his- now cold- tea. He didn't know exactly where to begin; he had never been good at anything of that sort. Merlin, he had never done something like that! "But I think that a little chat would be nice. I don't want to be hypocrite or a prude. You two shared a very important thing last night. Of course I won't start to say that having sex is the most amazing thing in life." Well, it's pretty good for sure! "Sex is good? Yeah, but it isn't the only thing. To shag is sometimes a matter of lust, and opportunity; just something physical, almost careless."
Harry and Hermione stared at Sirius, mildly surprised by the Animagus' words. He seemed so skeptical.
"Please, don't get me wrong," he added quickly, noticing the young couple's face, "I'm not coldhearted; no, I do believe that sometimes sex can be really extraordinary- that sometimes you can be lucky enough to make love with someone." He smiled a little sadly at them. "I had never made love with anyone," he continued quietly. "Yes, I shagged, I fucked, I..." He made a movement with his hand, meaning 'and so on'. "I never had this luck, life didn't let me. I dated girls yes and- well, I was only twenty one when I was sent to Azkaban."
Hermione leaned across the table and took his hand into hers. Her eyes were starting to get red as the tears began to fall. She looked at him with a tiny smile, and squeezed his hand. Her heart began to fill with not sadness, but resignation. Looking at his marked and darkened face, Hermione suddenly realized that he wasn't even forty and behind that friendly smile was a lonely man.
"Sirius..." she whispered.
Sirius shook his head, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it. "I don't want you to feel sorry or pity for me. I just want to show you how incredible lucky you are."
"We know, Sirius," Harry spoke for the first time, "we know."
"However, as a good godfather and er, familiar, it's my duty to talk about responsibilities," Sirius said, the mischievous glint back in his eyes. "Again, I am not lecturing you two but I need to know if you took certain precautions-er-before-" He scratched the back of his neck "-you know."
They looked blankly at him. "Oh, Merlin!" he cried in frustration. "Did you use an Inhibitus Charm?" he asked clearly. "Please, say that you did," he begged.
Harry gazed at Hermione, and she lowered her head, looking down at her lap. "In this case, it doesn't matter. It'll never happen," she spoke only loud enough for them to hear.
Even if I wanted it.
****
I know, I know... short chapter. It's almost an Intermezzo, but I hope that you liked it.
Please tell me what you think.
Next chapter: Hermione and Ginny have a talk...
Kisses!
Sweet-Lemmon.