Belong to Nowhere
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Chapter 5: Friends and Girlfriends
Christmas Eve
The Burrow
Harry was sitting near the window, looking out at the stars. The sky was beautiful. Peaceful.
The air was cold. Harry was cold but he didn't seem to mind. It was like a self-punishment for his acts.
His acts.
He sighed, thinking about Hermione.
How could he?
How could he be so insensitive?
He should have known…
He shouldn't have laughed…
She wasn't there. She had preferred to stay in Bill's apartment.
She had preferred the loneness rather than to be with him.
And he was alone.
Okay, he was in the Burrow, with the Weasleys but without her he felt so alone, so in despair. Incomplete. He wanted to say sorry. He wanted to hug her, say that everything was gonna be alright. That he was there…
But he wasn't. He wasn't there when she needed him…
Harry put his hands on his face. He wanted to cry. The pain was so huge, so intense.
He had failed the most important person in his life.
Harry Potter had failed Hermione Granger.
Last year was kind of a unique year. They had succeeded in destroying the Horcruxes. Never had he, Ron and Hermione even been so close but then after the 'death of Nagini,' they began to fall apart. Harry didn't know exactly when and how but the truth is, they had fall apart. Firstly it was Ron that began to date Luna and then…
Then was Ginny. They weren't together anymore. Well, at least not as a couple but somehow Ginny began to be closer to him and as result, Hermione began to be distanced.
Harry wouldn't have noticed that until…now. Maybe Hermione thought that him and Ginny were together again. How wrong! They weren't together and somehow, Harry didn't know if he wanted to be with her anymore.
It was so bloody confusing!
And even if they were together, Ginny would never substitute Hermione. Never.
Harry was lost in his thoughts when Ginny came and sat beside him.
"Hey, you. What are you doing here, alone?" she asked.
Without looked at her, Harry said, "Just thinking. It's a beautiful night."
Ginny put a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Yes, a really lovely night. Harry-"
"Yes?"
"Please, look at me."
Harry turned his head and faced Ginny. She was beautiful. It was true but somehow Harry felt that something was missing. It was like he was looking at a model on the cover of a magazine. It wasn't magic. Not anymore, that is, even if had ever been, he was beginning to doubt that what he could ever have with Ginny could be magical.
"Yes, Ginny?"
Ginny didn't answer; instead she put her arms around his neck and kissed him.
Ginny Weasley was kissing Harry Potter. On the lips.
But Harry Potter didn't kiss back.
"What the hell was that?" Harry practically yelled after he pushed Ginny away from him.
"But…but Harry I thought….I thought that you wanted this too. Oh, Harry!"
"What give you this idea?"
"Oh, you are here. Alone. Talking about the stars…"
"I was thinking," he said and then added after saw the look in her eyes, "and it wasn't about you Ginny. I am sorry."
"Oh. May I ask-?"
"Hermione," he answered with a sigh.
It was almost impossible to Ginny to control a groan.
"Harry, she isn't worth-"
A wave of angry invaded Harry's body. How dare Ginny?!
"What? She isn't worth it?! She isn't worthy enough for me to care about her? She isn't worthy enough of my friendship?!"
Great, Ginevra Weasley! You are losing him!
"No, Harry, you misunderstood. Of course she is worth your friendship. She is a wonderful girl. I just don't see way you are so preoccupied."
"Ginny. We failed her. I failed her. We laughed at her. I laughed at her! If anything, I'm the one that's not worthy enough of her unwavering friendship! I'm not worthy enough of her loyalty! I'm the one that's not good enough!"
"Oh, Harry, everything is gonna be okay! Look at Ron. He always seem to be laughing or whatever at her and-"
"But it's different. It's completely different, Ginny."
Once that was said, Ron had just arrived with Luna. He had the same look as Harry. He had the look of failed.
"How? You are talking like she is made from glass!"
"Ginny," said Ron. "You were right when you said that I am always 'fighting' and laughing at her but it only happened with trivial things like the spew, her books or whatever. It is our escape from the madness. However, I never laughed at her about a serious issue. And now, I failed her. We failed her," Ron shook his head. "You will never understand."
"What? What I will never understand? Tell me! I am sick of all those secrets! I am sick of you too treating her like she was kind of a princess! What could she have done?!"
"You know we can't tell you Ginny," said Harry. He was tired. He was tired of this conversation. He was tired of have to say time after time that what he, Ron and Hermione were doing was a secret. Why didn't Ginny understand that it was none of her business?
"Harry, I am your girlfriend!"
"Was."
"What?"
"You were my girlfriend."
"Okay," her face was red "I was your girlfriend! But this doesn't erase the fact that we have a story together! And maybe we aren't together as a couple but we love each other! This situation is only temporary I know that when the war is over-"
"Ginny," Harry began.
"Okay, Harry I will not insist. But we can't compare our relationship with you and Hermione's. I mean, I love her! Really! But she is too different!"
"Yes, you are right, Ginny we can't compare our relationship (what relationship? He thought) with mine and Hermione's."
Ginny smiled.
"We can't compare because my relationship with Hermione is thousands times more important than my friendship with you! It will always be me, Hermione and Ron! Always!"
Ginny thought a train hit her. She wanted to scream! Damn Hermione!
Noticing the anger in Ginny's eyes, Luna decided to speak for the first time.
"Ginny, I understand what you're feeling. I felt this way when I started to date Ronald. I didn't understand why he- and Harry- needed her so badly. But then I realized that I couldn't fight against it. Hermione is part of their lives. If she doesn't work, they don't work. I know they have secrets. Secrets that our world depends on. But I know I can't go against it. You want to know why? Because I know I will lose. I know Ronald loves me. And I love him but she- and Harry- will always be in first place. Girlfriends and Boyfriends can go away. Friends, never."
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A few days later
Suburb of London
A black woman answered the front door of her house.
"Hi, good afternoon. You must be Hermione Granger. Dean is waiting for you."
TBC
Thanks Brooke ( Archie) and Idaily22 for the beta