Belong to Nowhere
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
AN: sorry for the delay- this last month was a little hectic, and my 'muse' decided to go 'on vacation' Oh well...
A huge thank you to my wonderful beta Acoustics1220. :)
Um... and before you read it...remember...You: nice people...^_^
Chapter 24: Lower, and lower
A week had passed, and they were finally heading back to Hogwarts. Not that either of them were really looking forward to it.
Even if Remus hadn't gone easy on them with his 'private DADA Classes' (and McGonagall and Flitwick actually having given them homework), the simple fact that they could, after a long day, merely lay together in each others arms compensated for everything else.
Laying together...
...and being able to act on other pleasurable activities.
Hermione never thought that she would, one day, be so taken with such frivolities. She was always the logical one, the rational girl. She had never been called passionate before. But the time they spent at Grimmauld Place; waking up every morning in Harry's arms, being loved by him- loving him, had changed her forever.
It was a fact that she still felt a little unsure of herself- that she still didn't feel totally deserving of Harry, but in each kiss he gave her, each time they made love, he repeated over and over that he loved her.
He loved her.
And she felt complete.
Fulfilled.
She smiled at the thought, but then that smile soon turned to a frown when she glanced at the kitchen's clock and became conscious of the fact that in less than five minutes, she and Harry would be taken by Portkey back to Hogwarts.
And going back to Hogwarts meant...being near Ginny again. .
Hermione wasn't sure how to feel about her supposed best female friend. All of those lies... why?
She always thought the best of Ginny. The redhead was the closest she ever had to a girl friend. She always seemed so nice, so truthful...
True, after fifth year- no, after the 'kiss in the common room,' Ginny had changed. It was subtle, yes, almost imperceptible, but still, she changed.
She wasn't so nice, or friendly anymore.
She had suddenly turned into, 'I'm Ginny Weasley, girlfriend of the boy-who-lived.'
Hermione sighed sadly.
Oh Ginny...
**
Hogwarts
Headmistress' office
07:31 PM
"Harry! Hermione!" Hermione and Harry were abruptly welcomed by an extremely jumpy Ronald Weasley. "Finally!" he said happily, giving his friends a hug. "I want to know everything, I tried to convinced Professor Mc-"
"Mister Weasley," Professor McGonagall interrupted firmly, "that's enough!" She turned her gaze to the young couple. "Welcome back, Mr. Potter, Miss Granger."
"Thank you, Professor," they replied.
"I am very happy you two are back, Harry, Hermione," Luna, who had been strangely quiet, spoke in her usual dreamy voice. Hermione had noticed that the blonde Ravenclaw had been looking at her oddly; it was almost like Luna had been surprised by something. However, Hermione didn't make a big deal of it. Luna was strange...
"You are together," the Ravenclaw spoke again, a smile on her face.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, in mild shock, but smiled broadly nonetheless. On the one hand, Ron was standing with mouth agape, between the couple and Luna. "Is-Is that true?" he sputtered.
Hermione felt a pang in her heart. They had forgotten about Ron. What if he didn't like the idea of Harry and her together? What if he still wanted her to date him, or rather, wanted for Harry to get back together with Ginny?
What if...
Hermione was so absorbed in her worries that she actually jumped when Ron cried cheerfully, "Blimey! Finally, you two!"
"Are you okay with it?" Harry asked to the relief of Hermione who had the same question on her mind.
Ron looked at the pair as if they were crazy. "Of course, I'm fine!"
"Oh, Ron!" Hermione sobbed happily, launching herself at her friend, hugging him tightly. "We love you, you know?" She placed a quick kiss on his cheek; and as usual, Ron's ears went red as he looked up at Harry, who just laughed.
The moment was interrupted by a clasp of hands. "I think it's time for you to leave," the Headmistress told them.
"Of course, Professor," Hermione replied, and Harry and Ron nodded.
"Um, Professor?" Luna called.
"Yes, Miss Lovegood?"
"I would like to discuss something with you, Ma'am."
McGonagall raised an eyebrow at the girl; the others also seemed curious. "About?"
"Oh, I just want to discuss the possibility of transforming a tea cup into a Cracken-Zog," she answered with a smile, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
A what?!
"Er-" The Headmistress looked confused at the young Ravenclaw, making the trio fight the urge to laugh. "Of course."
Luna's smile widened.
"Oh, Ronald, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She grabbed her boyfriend's hand, pulling him closer to her, and then kissed him hard on the mouth.
"Yeah. Right." Ron replied, still a little groggy after they broke the kiss.
The trio left the office.
*
The door had barely closed after their departure when Professor McGonagall perceived a noticeable change in Luna's mannerisms.
She looked older, more mature.
"Do they know?" the girl asked.
McGonagall actually blinked, twice. "What?"
"About the fact that they've bonded."
"No. Professor Flitwick thinks it's better for them to work it out on their own. But-but how did you know?"
"Yes, Professor Flitwick is right," Luna murmured to herself, making her way back to the door.
"Miss Lovegood, you didn't tell how you knew about it."
With a hand on the doorknob, Luna replied, "Don't worry, Professor, it's still rather early to show up." And with that, she left, leaving behind a baffled Headmistress.
*~*
About two hours later
Hermione sighed happily as she walked through an empty corridor. Harry and Ron had left her Head Girl's dorm about thirty minutes past, when she remembered she had forgotten to ask Professor McGonagall about classes for the next day.
Obviously, one small part of her wanted to leave it to tomorrow; it wasn't a life or death matter anyway- but her bookworm inner self wouldn't let her do that.
In fact, she fancied a little walk alone, just her and her thoughts. So much had happened in the last few days that she still had the fear that everything was only a dream.
The chat with Ron had been good. She had never realized how much she had missed her redheaded friend, how she missed just the three of them, talking, laughing, even annoying each other.
She and Harry had told everything that had happened during the days they had spent in Grimmauld Place- obviously skipping the naughty events.
But, judging by Ron's red ears, it was clear he had figured out what had happened.
Hermione laughed quietly, shaking her head.
Oh Ron!
They also hadn't told Ron about Ginny's lies. Back at Grimmauld, Harry had said he wanted to talk to Ron alone. He said it would be better for a man to man talk.
Hermione had actually groaned when he said that.
Man to man talk!
Honestly!
But Harry had said he had to talk about other things with Ron about Ginny- things about the time the two of them were still dating.
Some truths...
*
Hermione was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice a slim figure walking towards her. The collision was inevitable.
"Oh, sor-" she was saying when she suddenly stopped, "Ginny."
Ginny.
She hadn't expected to see Ginny- at least not until the next day. What should she say? Should she pretend that nothing had happened? Should she just smile?
Hermione didn't know if she were capable of that.
"Oh, Hermione!" Ginny cried overly cheerful, giving the brown haired witch a hug. "You're back!"
"Yeah," Hermione replied awkwardly, letting go of their embrace.
"Oh, I can't wait to see Harry!" Ginny said excitedly, whipping her bright red hair behind her shoulders. "He's probably dying for a good snog." She smiled slyly. "You know, I think-"
Hermione couldn't take anymore.
"I think you just need to shut up, Ginny!" Hermione spat, causing Ginny to step back.
"Hermione?" Ginny spoke unsurely.
"God, Ginny, why are you doing this?"
"I-I don't understand..."
"You lied, Ginny!"
"Hermione-"
"You and Harry aren't together!"
Ginny gave a nervous laugh. "Hermione, I told you Harry doesn't want people to kn-"
Hermione closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath, opening them a second later.
"He told me the truth, Ginny." The fake innocent smile on Ginny's face turned into a frown. "He told me you said Dean and I were dating! You told him that Dean cheated on you with me!"
Ginny didn't say a word; she just stared at Hermione, her eyes hardening.
"Why? Why, Ginny?" Hermione asked.
"We love each other," Ginny said simply, shrugging. "We belong together."
Hermione couldn't help but feel a little pity for the other girl.
"If you love him, why did you lie?" Hermione asked, her voice low, but irked. She just needed to understand. "Why did you lie about me? Why this story about Dean and I?"
Ginny made a strange noise, likened to a snort. "You, Hermione Granger, the boring bookworm...always were there, always by his side- nagging, bothering..."
Hermione grimaced at the harsh tone in Ginny's voice. "But Gin, I thought we were friends..."
"Sixth year was heaven," the redheaded girl continued, like she hadn't heard Hermione. "You two had a falling out, Ron was too busy snogging Lavender..." She looked absently at her nails. "He finally noticed me. And I knew - I knew he had only finally noticed me because of you- because you weren't at his side, messing with everything!" Ginny looked up again, her gaze fixed on Hermione. "But Dumbledore had to die! Harry had to be the noble one!" she cried angrily. "No matter what he said that day, I just knew that it would be only a matter of time for us to get back together again."
"You need to move on, Ginny." Hermione's voice was firm. "You need to understand that it's over. You aren't Harry's girlfriend anymore-,it's been a while that you haven't." she smiled sadly. "He doesn't love you, not in the way you want."
"No," Ginny said vehemently. "Don't you see? You are always nagging in his life...you-"
"I am dating Harry now, Ginny!" Hermione yelled, unable to control herself. She couldn't bear to listen to anymore of Ginny's nonsense. "Harry and I are in love!"
Ginny stopped dead, a disbelieving smile beginning to play at the corners of her lips. "What?
"Harry and I are together, Ginny. I'm sorry if you-" She sighed. "I am sorry if I- in any way hurt you, but I am not sorry for being loved."
To Hermione's surprise, or rather- shock, Ginny laughed; stridently. "For Merlin's sake, Hermione! You can't actually believe that Harry could love someone-something-like you!"
"What? What... someone like me?"
"You know, Hermione I tried to say this to you in a nice way, but I don't think you get it, huh?" Ginny shook her head, in mock disbelief. "Just look at you! You're boring, you are ugly and boring. Yes, you have brains but- so what?" Ginny snorted. "You are just a means to an end...Can't you fucking realize that you are only good enough to memorize books? That's why everyone pretends to care! You are just the easier way to pass in the tests."
Hermione's eyes opened wide, her mouth went dry, disgust roiling inside her. She had never felt so much hatred towards her, not even from Draco Malfoy.
"This isn't going to work, Ginny," she finally managed to say, "because, I know that's not the truth. Yes, maybe I am a little boring, annoying, and an ugly bookworm. Yeah, maybe you're right, maybe I am all that and also, maybe, some people only talk to me because of their homework. Maybe. But, you know what? I. Don't. Care. Why- because I know that those that matter love me the way I am."
"Do you think Harry loves you, Hermione? Do you think he intends to be with you?"
"Ginny, look what you're doing to yourself!"
"Tell me, Hermione, you, such a know-it-all, tell me what Harry's deepest desire is?"
Hermione was taking aback by the question.
A family.
"Come on, tell me!" Ginny insisted, with sarcastic persistence. "It's not that difficult!"
His own family.
Hermione couldn't speak.
"Are you going to say anything?" Ginny smirked. "He wants a family. He wants a family more than anything." Her eyes raked over Hermione's figure with disdain, "Once he told me- when we were dating- that he wanted to have two children- a boy and a girl. He told me how wonderful the day would be when he'd finally become a parent, a daddy."
Hermione began to tremble; feeling somewhat angry with herself for letting Ginny's words cut so deeply into her heart.
"But you can't give it to him, can you?" Ginny looked at her with false sympathy. "You can't because you simply can't have children...you are a woman and you aren't even able to do the most simple thing- the only thing that really matters. You are just a dry carcass."
Hermione began to breathe heavily, the tears falling down her eyes. "How? H-How...no one..."
"Oh! Was it supposed to be secret? Harry told me."
Hermione shook her head vehemently. "No, Harry would never..."
"Harry wants a family! You are probably just a distraction..."
It's a lie.
It's a lie.
"No."
He loves me.
Ginny narrow her eyes, as she seemed to realize something.
"You slept with him." It wasn't a question. "He's a guy; I think I can forgive him. After all, what better way to have a shag without the fear of an unplanned pregnancy? Even if it's with you. After all, a teenage boy is capable to fuck anythi-"
Slap!
Hermione slapped Ginny right on the face. "Shut up!" she cried, her whole body shaking. "Shut up! Harry isn't like that! He never will be. Yes, we slept together- we made love. You can't possibly understand what this means, can you? God, I look at you and I feel only pity."
"You? You feel pity? For me? Look at you, Hermione Granger. I may have lied about some things...but you know that what I am saying now is the simple and cruel truth...You will never be able to give Harry what he wants the most. You will never be the mother to his children...you are and will only ever be a shag buddy." Ginny adjusted her robes, and began to walk away.
"He loves me!"
The younger witch turned around, facing Hermione one more time. "And are you selfish enough to deny him his only dream? Can you let him live a life of wondering what it would be like to have a family?"
Incapable to hear anything more, Hermione walked away, furiously wiping away her tears.
Ginny smirked, before continuing on her way to the North Tower, not noticing a pair of dark eyes watching her...
*********************
AN: *hands up* Calm down, calm down...I know I said Hermione and Ginny would have a talk....but I didn't say it would be a nice talk or the final talk, did I?
Um, I know that a lot of you 'disliked' the way Hermione 'acted' in the end of the talk. If I was a reader I wouldn't like it either. But remember, Ginny caught her out of guard with the family comment. Hermione didn't expect that Ginny knew about that. And that is a painful issue for her.
But don't be afraid, Hermione isn't stupid, and most important: now, she knows Ginny is evil... not to mention that...
***
* Oh, just a little note about last chapter; I was taken aback when some readers seemed to be surprised with the fact Hermione can't have children and why. Well, it is in chapter 20, (the flashback scene) and chapter 22 (Luna and Ron's talk)
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