"Hermione," he whispered quickly and ran to her side.
"Harry?"
"I'm here." He took her hand in his and smiled when she squeezed it.
"Is it time to get these silly bandages off yet?"
Harry laughed and caressed them. "Almost. Ned'll be coming over soon."
"He's such a nice guy, don't you think?"
Harry swallowed. He couldn't deny it, as much as he wanted to. "Yeah. He's a great guy."
"So caring. So passionate about his work. Such a gentleman."
Harry tightened his grip on her hand. "Yeah. Any girl would be lucky to have him."
"I agree," she responded, dreadfully quickly.
Harry groaned internally and bowed his head in misery. "What about you and Ron?"
"What about Ron and I?" she asked, a bit confused at his question.
"Well…is everything going to work out?"
She sighed and loosened her grip on his hand. "I don't know. I really don't. We're not on the same road. We haven't been for a long time. We're…we're different people."
"Opposites attract." Harry wanted to hit himself for aiding the relationship.
Hermione smiled sadly. "Yes, that's the justification, isn't it?"
Harry picked up on the sadness in her voice. Even without looking at her eyes, he knew how she felt. "Hey," he squeezed her hand, "If he's making you unhappy-"
"Oh no, no," Hermione interjected, "Merlin, Harry, don't you take me for someone smarter? I would never stay in a relationship that was making me unhappy."
Harry smiled, as much as he didn't want to.
"It's just…sometimes…" She paused again and sighed.
Harry remained silent, patiently waiting for her to continue.
"Sometimes I'm skeptical," she finally breathed out.
"About you and Ron?" he asked.
She nodded her head slightly. "Sometimes I wonder if we should be together. Sometimes I can't stand him, Harry. Sometimes I just…wish he would disappear." She paused as if to listen to his response. When there was silence, she continued, "Sometimes I hate him, Harry. Our childish fights aren't more frequent but they seem to hurt me so much more. He's on another level. He's not my best friend anymore. But I just don't feel it."
Harry knitted his brows together. "Feel what?"
She sighed again. "I don't feel the extra love," she cried, her voice breaking down, "I don't feel like we've changed. I don't feel like he's my boyfriend, who respects me more than my best friend. He's…he's still Ron."
Harry remained silent. His mind was spinning faster than ever and he didn't why. "If he's making you unhappy, Hermione, don't be with him," he whispered. She continued to gaze back at him and he wished he could see her eyes. "I'm serious, Hermione," he said more forcefully. "You deserve someone who's going to respect you and care for you and love you for who you are." There was another silence. Harry felt his collar shrink and the temperature in the room increase. There was something about her being unable to see that made him want to...kiss her. Sober-kiss her. No-regrets-tomorrow-morning-kiss her.
Do it.
Suddenly losing control, he took a deep breath, leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. She gasped when she felt them. On impulse, she shook her head inches away from his. His eyes were half open and he barely registered that she pulled away. But he was lost to those soft, half-open lips. He couldn't restrain himself as he moved quickly and dove for her lips. He embraced them with such force; she was pushed back off the bed. He caught her back with his left hand and brought his right hand to bring her chin higher up. Their kiss was less passionate and so much more innocent than their first. They kissed slowly and softly, savoring the moment. She couldn't control her hands, which delicately traced the outline of his biceps. They carefully held onto one another, as if they were going to break. The kiss ended a while later and they reluctantly pulled apart.
"Oh my," she whispered hoarsely when he took his hands out of her hair.
"…Yeah." They were silent for a while, staring at one another.
"That was…"
"…Yeah. Merlin's socks."
She laughed uneasily. "Oh, Harry…" She sighed and wiped at her lips, as if attempting to wipe away the action.
Harry couldn't help but flinch at the sight. "Why does this keep happening?" he asked, getting off her bed.
She felt the weight taken off the bed and brushed her hair with her fingers. "We weren't drunk just now, were we?"
Harry sighed at the question. "No. No, Hermione, we weren't." He looked at her, happy she couldn't see him. For she would see his content face. Yeah, he loved her. It took him thirteen years, one drunken and one sober kiss for him to realize it but he loved her. He couldn't believe he'd been so blind. Of course he was. He wanted to kiss her. All those nights weren't loneliness. They were nights without the Weasleys. Without distractions. He wanted Hermione. He always did. He loved her. He loved how grumpy she was in the morning. How she pouted and purred when he woke her up. He loved how she worked. How she bit her nails when she was nervous and twirled her hair when she was anxious. He loved how she taught him the difference between nervous and anxious. He loved how she grinned and smiled and beamed. He loved how she frowned and grimaced. He loved how she thanked him for dinner and asked him what he changed in the recipe. He loved how she cared about him, down to his teeth. He loved how she stayed up late every night, lost in another book by her red lamp.
He loved how she made smoothies for breakfast when he was too sleepy to do anything. He loved how work meant so much to her but she'd choose family and friends over it any day. He loved that she called her parents once a day and the sad look she gave him when he watched her in envy. He loved how she never gave up when she played a sport horribly. He loved how she cared for the Elves and didn't care that no one else did. He loved her. Everything about her. And he was stupid to have taken so long. "Oh, Hermione," he sighed, happy to have finally seen it all.
"Harry…that was such a mistake."
He froze. Oh no. He felt his heart drop down and fall out through his toes. His insides were frozen over and he couldn't wipe the deer-caught-in-the-headlights look off his face. She…she regretted it.
"Oh, Harry," she sighed, in a way that made him want to jump out the window.
He cleared his throat. "Hermione, I…I don't re-"
"Sorry if I'm bothering anything. Hermione, you're up?"
Hermione jolted up in the bed at the voice and sudden intruder of the room.
"Hey Gin," Harry grumbled.
"Hey, Harry. Um, Ned's here." Ginny grinned.
Hermione lowered her shoulders in relief. "Oh. Well, um, Harry and I were in a conversation, do you think we could maybe see him a little while later?"
Ginny shook her head. "He seems pretty nervous and jittery. He really wants to see you right now."
"Tell him to wait or I'll give him something to be jittering about!" Harry bellowed. Hermione and Ginny turned their faces to him in fear. He sighed exasperatedly and ran his hand through his bangs. "I mean…blimey, I'll send him in if he feels like he's going to burst," he muttered, pushing Ginny out of his way. He met Ned downstairs, pacing and rearranging his hair every which way, his brown briefcasein his hand. Harry felt a sudden surge of jealousy. That's great, he thought, he's just perfect, isn't he? He's so clean cut and-
"Oh, Harry!" Ned flashed his ivory white teeth.
"What do you want?" Harry demanded rudely. He didn't even care that Ned flinched in fear.
Ned rummaged through his briefcase and pulled out his medical kit. "I-um, I'm here to r-remove the b-band-"
"We were in an important conversation. You can't wait five minutes?"
Ned's Adam's Apple quivered as he lost grip of his kit. It fell to the floor with a bang but miraculously stayed closed. Ned stammered as he bent down and reached for the kit. Harry glared at him and he shot back up.
The two men continued to look at one another and were interrupted by Ron, who came out of Harry's room, his hair a complete mess. "Evening," he mumbled, unaware of the tension between the other two men.
"What's happened? I heard a loud clatter!" Ginny yelled as she ran around the corner and faced the three men.
"Ned dropped his kit," Harry said simply.
"Oh." Ginny looked at Harry and Ned, confused as to why they were looking at the other so strangely.
"H-hello Ginerva." Ned said nervously.
"Hello Ned," Ginny whispered, unable to contain a blush.
Harry resisted rolling his eyes and wondered why she never blushed for him. Suddenly, he felt a surge of rage at her. Her and Ned. She because she was suddenly head over heels in love with this stupid spine-less man. He hated Ned because…his name was Ned. And he was perfect.
"Look, um, I'm sorry to be in such a rush, Harry." Ned fumbled once again as he picked up his kit, "But I need to talk to Hermione…alone. There are some questions I need to ask her."
Harry felt his head spinning, his fists uncontrollably shaking. His entire body was shaking and he couldn't control it.
"Yeah, that's alright. Please, take your time," Ron said behind Harry. He walked down the stairs. "Are you staying for dinner, doctor?"
Ned laughed nervously. "Um, well-"
"Oh, you simply must!" Ginny squealed. "I'm making spaghetti. Please stay."
Ned bowed his head in embarrassment. "A-Alright, if you insist, Ginerva."
Ginny smiled in response and made her way down the stairs and pulled Ron into the kitchen with her. Harry and Ned were alone once again. Ned cleared his throat and walked up the stairs. "I'm so sorry to have interrupted your conversation with Hermione, Harry." He fiddled with his tie. "Y-you may re-enter and finish, it's quite alright."
Harry seriously considered walking back into her room but decided against it. It didn't matter. Nothing had changed. He just kissed her. He could always talk to her about it tomorrow. "That's alright. Just take off her bandages and bring her down for dinner." Before he could listen to Ned respond, he walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.
~*~
It was worse than he thought it would be. Not that it wasn't great having Hermione back. Her face was still red around the sides because of the tightly wrapped bandages and she squinted throughout the entire dinner. She was talkative, as if she was alive and allowed to use her voice for the first time. Harry was glad to see the happiness in her eyes. She was so beautiful. He never thought of it earlier. But her bushy brown hair was suddenly flowing and chestnut. Her freckles were suddenly a part of her, each one representing the hard work she did outside. He loved her freckles. Down to the small ones on her arms. He loved every bit of her.
But that night, it was horribly silent between the two of them. She never spoke a word to him and he waited for her to start the inexistent conversation. He shook it off, thinking he'd talk to her about it tomorrow. She probably needed more time. He slept on a pull-out couch in the living room, giving Ginny his room. Throughout the night, he wondered if she was thinking of him. Of their kiss. He fell asleep, wondering how Ron and Ned would have reacted to it.
The next morning, Ginny and Ron returned to their team after a victory over the Japanese Team. They left a note on the refrigerator and Harry nodded at it. It was normal that they were gone before he and Hermione got up. But this time, he no longer missed Ginny. That silver lining was short lived, however, when he realized he was still in Hell. Hermione didn't greet him with a good morning. She ate her cereal in silence. They had small awkward chats. He couldn't understand why it was so awkward. This was Hermione. No stupid silly little kiss could get in the way of their friendship. He'd approach her everyday, wanting to talk to her about it. But when she turned around, a sudden nervousness took hold of him and he could barely speak a sentence. Her eyes would wander as well, never fully looking him in the eye. He'd sigh off the days, putting it off until tomorrow. The small chat was soon smaller and smaller. They'd communicate only when they had to at work and through Ned at home. There were no good morning's or good night's. Just silence.
And one night, when Ned was over once again, he couldn't stop looking at her. Not for long, of course. But he couldn't help it. She never once looked at him. She would chat with Ned, laugh with him, smile with him and tell him how her day was. But nothing for him.
"That was such an excellent dinner and an even better dessert." Ned wiped his lips politely and smiled at Harry.
Harry hardly smiled. "I learnt some things, staying with the Dursleys."
Ned smiled warmly. "That's respectable. Here, let me clean the dishes." Without another word, he happily took the dishes and waltzed into the kitchen.
Harry lifted his eyes to look at Hermione. She was cleaning her hands with her napkin. Over and over again. Her hands were shaking slightly. She knew he was looking at him. He knew she knew he was looking at him. And of course, she knew he knew she knew he was looking at him. But he kept looking. Because he couldn't stop. She was so beautiful and he clawed desperately at his memory chip, trying to remember every little detail of her face. Hermione cleared her throat quietly and stared at the table. How quickly everything had changed. It felt like a short day but it had been in fact, months.
He squinted his eyes. No, it couldn't have been. But it had. The time flew by, it was completely unrealistic. What he thought was yesterday was in fact months ago. It was July. Dolohov was killed in April. Harry shook his head again. No. No, it wasn't possible. The time did not just fly by.
But it had. To Harry, it was all one day. But time flew by him. No, not flew. Soared. No, not soared. Zapped. Dashed away at the speed of light. He couldn't believe it. Time went by so unrealistically fast. He looked at her again. Her face had completely healed and her eyesight was doing better than ever. Ron and Ginny had beaten twelve other teams. Harry moved into another spare room in Grimmwauld's Place. Ned was now a family friend. They kidnapped six more Death Eaters. He learnt how to make Beef Wellington. Bill and Fleur's second baby was born. It was true. It was all true. Four months had passed. His yesterday was 122 days ago. He kissed her 122 days ago. He gasped to himself. Had it been that long? No, it was just yesterday. And he just put it off until tomorrow. That's all. That was quick, he thought sarcastically. Harry couldn't stop looking at her. She was so uncomfortable. It was so uncomfortable. It was so incredibly uncomfortable.
He wanted to throw his napkin at her, fall to the floor and bawl as loudly as he could.
What had he done? He changed everything. She couldn't even look at him anymore. He didn't know what to do. Should he talk to her? Maybe she wasn't ready to talk. He was scared. He didn't want to give her too much space. He didn't want to lose her. Especially not because of one stupid kiss. He was interrupted by his thoughts when she looked up at him. It was a moment. Those life-changing moments. When you know that nothing's ever going to be the same again. She looked at him with so much pain in her eyes. So much confusion. So much guilt. And then she looked away. She tore her eyes away from his and looked completely alright with doing so.
His heart disintegrated. Exploded. Vaporized. Shattered. Palpitated. The shards of it went flying into his chest and eyes and his body felt weak. Reality smashed into the car of his soul and the airbag never went off. He finally realized it; He had changed everything. Absolutely everything. Nothing. Nothing. NOTHING would ever be the same again. If he had more self control, perhaps he'd get a smile at the table. Perhaps he'd get a good morning. Perhaps they could talk once more and laugh with one another. Perhaps they'd acknowledge the existence of the other. But no. No, he did something, something he now regretted, dragged it on for months and ruined everything. He had changed everything and it was now impossible for them to ever be friends. No, he didn't want her romantically anymore. He wanted her back. He wanted their friendship back. He heard a voice in his head, as he would for the next few days: Ruin it with Cho. Ruin it with Ginny. But god, Harry, don't ruin it with the only one that matters. But it was too late. He had never learnt from his mistakes. And he had indeed, ruined it with everyone, but most with the only one that mattered.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to *someone special* out there. Plot starting to sound familiar? Wipe that astounded look off your flawless face, replace that kiss with an email and re-read this chapter.
Damn straight; this is the story of us. And it just started.