A/N: Greetings all. From the center of my never-ending reeling mind, I want to thank all those who have stuck by the angst-filled chapters and have continued to read. Things have finally started looking up.
Ron and I were still good friends. It took me a while to get used to it, after everything I felt for him. We woke up and greeted one another. It was a bit awkward but compared to what I felt with Hermione, I welcomed it with open arms.
Speaking of open arms, I could feel his hugs were stronger. Tighter. He was here for me. It made me love him. He was a good friend. A good man. I loved him.
He was very concentrated. He trained hard; the semi-finals were in a short month. He trained with Ginny almost everyday. It was tough what with the weather and all but they managed. I spoke with Ned a bit more. It seemed as if not seeing Hermione was putting my life back on track. And because life is ironic; just when I was regaining control over everything, she came back.
~*~ 3rd Prs POV ~*~
The doorbell almost went unanswered. The party inside was raging, the music blasting and threatening to leave the house. But somehow, Ginny heard it. Excusing herself from the conversation with Ned's parents, she walked over to the door and opened it.
"Ginny!" Hermione squealed, throwing herself into her arms.
"Hermione!" Ginny laughed in response, shutting the door with her foot. "Happy Christmas." They separated.
"Happy Christmas, Gin."
"Welcome back."
"Thank you, it's good to be back."
"I'll take your coat for you."
"Thank you. I'll be in the living room. I trust everyone's there?"
"And then some." Ginny laughed and rolled her eyes, walking off with Hermione's coat.
Hermione smiled at her friend and started towards the living room. She didn't mean to but her eyesight was scanning for Harry. But he wasn't in the room. Sighing in either relief or disappointment, she scanned the rest of the room. Weasleys over Weasleys. Old friends and new friends. Listening carefully, you could hear a mixture of English, French and Bulgarian. She smiled and winked at Viktor who raised his glass and mouthed "Happy Christmas" before turning back to his wife. Neville and Fred seemed to have noticed her as well and nodded in acknowledgement. Bill's first son, Ansel, spotted her from across the room and shouted out, "Herminny!" before falling down and rolling on the floor. Bill and Fleur picked him up and tickled his stomach before waving to her. She waved back and blew a kiss to which Ansel beamed at. Hermione smiled, satisfied, and began looking for her other best friend. She saw him chatting with Page, Smith, Ginny and Ned. She walked over to Ron and tapped him on the shoulder.
He spun around, confused for a second but lit up when he saw her. "Hermione," he sighed in happiness, taking her into his arms and holding her.
She felt his regret and need for her. She felt it in his hug and wish he didn't. He still loved her. She knew it. He knew it. "I'm so sorry," she said in a voice so low it was amazing they could hear it over the music.
He nodded sadly. "It's alright." He swallowed.
She felt her eyes tear slightly. "Is it?"
"No," he responded truthfully. "But it will be."
She nodded and hugged him again. "I love you," she said.
He kissed her forehead. "I love you, too."
~*~
That's how he found them. He had just walked into the living room, about to tell everyone about the incredible dinner they had prepared. But the minute he saw them snuggling, obviously whispering sweet nothings in each other's ears, he lost his voice. He simply stood there, in his sauce-covered apron, one oven mitt still on, and a banana-colored chef's hat Ansel had made him. He didn't know how long he had stood there but he registered Mrs. Parker's tap on his shoulder.
"Harry, dear," she said, concerned. "Have you forgotten what to say?"
"Huh?" he blubbered, his eyes still focused on Ron and Hermione.
"Oh, nevermind," Mrs. Parker laughed, "I'll do it." Turning her attention to the room, she cleared her throat and bellowed. "ATTENTION EVERYONE! DINNER IS SERVED!"
There was an uproar so loud it was even louder than the music. Mrs. Parker shushed everyone down. "Now before we begin, we'd like to just pay some respects to the chefs." She paused. "Thanks for the appetizer to Mrs. Krum. The soup to Mrs. Delacour. The main course by Mrs. Weasley and myself. And the dessert by our Harry here!"
There was another cheer and Harry felt his face burn. Slowly, the crowd began to fall into the dining room. Harry stood at the door, waiting for everyone to go in. "Happy Christmas," he said to each guest individually. Finally, they were all in aside from Ned and Hermione. They were slowly making their way across the room, Ned was talking very quickly. Harry couldn't take his eyes off her.
"I'll meet you inside, love."
He could barely make out Mrs. Parker's words and nodded weakly. Ned and Hermione had approached him. Hermione's head still turned to face Ned's.
"And the duck says, 'I didn't know it was that deep!'" Ned had just finished a joke and Hermione laughed. Ned laughed sheepishly. He turned to Harry and nodded, making his way into the dining room. He turned when Hermione didn't follow him. "Are you alright, Hermione?"
Hermione was now staring at Harry, returning his glare. "I'll meet you inside," she said, never taking her eyes off Harry.
Ned shrugged and took a seat.
"Happy Christmas, Hermione," he said coolly, surprised at how calm he sounded.
"Happy Christmas, Harry," she said in the same tone of voice. They continued to look at one another.
He opened his mouth to speak. "I." It was all he could say. What could he say? How could he say it? How was he supposed to say it? …What did he want to say?
She read his mind. "Is there something you'd like to say?" There was a hint of timidity in her voice that he rarely heard Hermione Granger use. There was a soft blush spreading on her cheeks and she was fighting a nervous laugh.
"I suppose if I wanted to say it enough, I'd say it."
She nodded solemnly. As if she was going through the same thing. She stared at him. He stared at her. They were communicating through their eyes. They spoke.
"Is there something you'd like to say, Harry?" She asked again.
"Yes."
"What would that be?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why ever not?"
"Because."
She paused. "I'm not going to hurt you." She whispered only they could hear it.
He felt relief flow through his body. He didn't even know he wanted to hear that. He gulped. "I know."
She nodded weakly. They were silent. She was waiting for that awkward moment when they'd mumble "I love you" and rush away. But that never happened. Just more awkward.
"Is there something you'd like to hear, Hermione?" He interrupted her thoughts.
She glanced up into his eyes. "Excuse me?"
"It seems like you want to hear something."
It was her turn to gulp. What did she want to hear? What did she want him to say?
"Is there something you want to hear me say, Hermione?"
She didn't even think. "Yes."
His head nearly snapped back in surprise. "I see."
I see indeed, she thought.
He inched closer, closing the gap between them. She felt his feet touch hers. He breathed. "What do you want me to say?" His voice was still calm.
She kept hers calm as well. "I don't want to hear you say what I want to hear just because I said what I want to hear you say."
"What if it's what I want to say?"
She scanned his face and then his lips. Letting out a slow breath, she murmured, "I don't think I'll ever hear you say what I want to hear you say."
"I want to say a lot of things, Hermione."
"Is that so?"
"It is."
"Say something."
He opened his mouth. "I." That was it. He stopped himself again. And he didn't know why. All he knew was that if he didn't get another kiss from her, he'd die.
"Say something, Harry." She whispered again.
It was too much. He was so uncomfortable. He wanted to run away. He couldn't do it. He thought he could but he couldn't. He made the slightly move to walk away. He felt her hand on his arm before he saw it.
"Don't run away."
It was more of a plea than a command. More of a request than a demand.
"Please," she whispered softly, "Don't run away."
He sighed and looked into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes. "I..." He saw her eyes glimmer with hope. She wanted him to say something. "Tell me what to say."
She paused for a second, letting her eyes wander around his face once more. "Excuse me?"
"Tell me what you want to hear me say."
She swallowed and let her tongue wet her lips.
"I'll say whatever you want me to say."
She closed her eyes for a second, shook her head and denied his offer. "I want you to mean it."
It was his head's fault. His bloody head's fault that he was tilting closer and closer to her. His brain's warning signs went unheard. "I'll mean it," he whined like a child, "I swear I'll mean it."
She closed her eyes again and swallowed, trying to control her breathing. When she opened them, something had changed in her eyes. "I broke up with Ron."
For you. He heard her voice finish the sentence in his head. He sighed, leaning away from her. "Hermione."
"This is so…strange, Harry." She said it in a childish way. As if she was whining as well.
"I know," he said.
"Do you?"
"Yes." How could she even ask him such a question? It was as if everything that had happened in the last six months meant nothing. Every thought, every sleepless night meant nothing. But it was true. Even at that moment, Harry couldn't remember any sleepless night. Any annoying thought. Any awkward moment. He couldn't remember anything. He couldn't think. He could hear his heart beating and see into her eyes. But he couldn't think. All he knew was that she was here. Right here. Home. Safe and sound. And her lips were inches away.
"Oy! Harry! Hermione! Come on, we're not going to start without you!"
They simultaneously let out a low groan and nodded weakly to Seamus. Seamus nodded and went back into the dining room. There was another silence as they stood there, observing one another. She considered skipping dinner. It was just food, after all. But he cleared his throat and walked away.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to *someone special* out there. Tell me what to say. I already mean it.