A/N: Sometimes a pep talk from a concerned friend is all you need to lift your spirits. Thanks, *Jane*, for noticing the invisible girl with the visibly gloomy feelings…about *someone special*.
The smell of coffee woke Harry up. Strong. He could tell it was Hermione's. He opened his eyes and wiped the sleep out of them. Suddenly feeling the chill of the morning, he took the shirt he had taken off the night before and threw it on. Then he staggered into the kitchen, where Hermione was in her pajamas, and pouring milk into her coffee. "Good morning," he said quietly.
She was still, waiting until she had just the right amount of milk. Then she set it down on the counter. "Good morning," she finally responded. Harry rubbed the back of his head, feeling awkward already. After all, it was just twenty-four hours ago that they almost made out on the couch. He poured himself a cup of coffee, carefully avoiding touching her. She sat down and started her toast. "They're sleeping in," she said simply.
Harry toasted his bread with his wand and sat down. "They're tired."
She nodded, looking around the room.
Harry spread the jam into his bread. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.
She was quiet, chewing slowly. "Maybe later."
He nodded. "Alright." There was a silence as they chewed.
"Were we loud last night?" Hermione asked suddenly.
Harry glanced up from his toast. "Oh. No, you were…well, we were too busy with our own business." He suddenly realized what they sounded like. He blinked and laughed. Hermione laughed as well. Harry eased up and fell into his chair, shrugging off the awkwardness that no longer existed between them. "No, it's-um-it's not like that. We…we had a fight." He ate his last bit of toast and brushed the crumbs off his fingers. Then he sat back in his chair, folding his arms.
Hermione leaned forward on the table slightly, compassion in her eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. It-It wasn't about us, was it?"
Harry lifted his head slightly and raised an eyebrow. "Why would you think it was about you two?" Hermione stammered and gasped to herself when she realized she had wanted him to say yes. Harry laughed at the sight. "No, it was about, um, it was about how she doesn't understand me." Harry smiled when Hermione nodded. She was always going to be here, ready to listen.
"My fight was also about that," Hermione admitted with a sigh.
"About how Ginny doesn't understand me?" Harry joked.
Hermione laughed again. "No! It was about…it was about how Ron doesn't understand me."
Harry nodded in response. "Is that why you said no?" he asked.
Hermione laughed to herself. "That's what he asked me, as well."
"What did you say?"
"I said yes."
Harry could see there was more she wanted to say. "Is that the only reason why you said no?"
Hermione smiled at him. He could see right through her. "I said no because he doesn't know what I'm thinking about by just looking at me. I said no because he doesn't listen to me. He doesn't let me finish my sentences. He doesn't let me think on my own." Hermione was suddenly sad and sipped her coffee.
Harry saw her change in mood. "I'm sorry," he said, "It's alright if you don't want to talk about it."
"No, no, it's alright. It's nice having someone to talk to. Someone who'll…allow me to talk."
Harry nodded with a smile. "I'm always here."
Hermione smiled. Harry would always be there for her. Her smile faded when she suddenly remembered what she said to Ron last night.
Harry saw it immediately. "What is it?"
Hermione waved her hand. "Nothing, it's nothing. You'll think it's…" Harry was quiet, waiting for her to finish her thought. Hermione laughed and regretted it at once. "Last night," she started again; "Ron asked me, 'If I was more like Harry…would you marry me?'"
Harry swallowed. "What did you say?"
Hermione shook her head and got up from her seat, taking her cup with her. "It doesn't matter. I'm not marrying you, I'm marrying Ron."
Harry suddenly clutched her wrist. "Hermione, what did you say?" he demanded.
Hermione shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Harry, please, let me go."
Harry brought her closer to him. They were inches apart, noses almost touching. "What did you say?" he asked again.
"I said yes," she said, looking at the floor.
Harry sighed when she saw the remorse in her eyes. "You regret saying that," he whispered, letting go of her.
"Of course I am!" she said incredulously, "Harry, he was completely torn up last night! I rejected him in front of an entire restaurant."
Harry felt his anger build inside his chest. "You rejected him months ago! In front of Ginny and I! You SAID you weren't ready! Ron's a git to have never remembered!"
Hermione sighed and bit her lip. "It doesn't matter," she said calmly, "He doesn't have to change for me."
Harry laughed cruelly. "He HAS to, Hermione. You just said so. He doesn't listen to you, he doesn't understand you. Hermione, he doesn't deserve you."
Hermione scoffed loudly, unbelieving he was saying such things about his supposed best friend. "And WHO deserves me, Harry? YOU?"
"Yes."
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You have QUITE the ego this morning, Harry James."
"Perhaps," he muttered, "But then again, you just admitted you want your husband to be like me." There was a silence as they glared at one another.
Hermione swallowed when she realized he was right. She wanted someone just like Harry. Someone who would give her space. Who was home and was always there for her. Someone who understands her. Someone who respects her and listens to her. She wanted someone Just. Like. Harry.
"It never occurred to you," Harry whispered, "That perhaps being a couple wasn't for the best?"
Hermione jolted her head up and was suddenly very angry at the man who apparently knew everything. "Has it ever occurred to you," she sneered, "that maybe being with Ginny wasn't for the best?"
"No," Harry responded quickly. Hermione felt her breath catch in her throat. She didn't know why it affected her so much. Harry cleared his throat as well and looked away. He didn't know why he had responded so quickly. As if to reassure himself. He raised his finger and started again. "Wait, what I meant to say was-"
They were interrupted when Ron yawned loudly and walked into the kitchen. "Morning, Harry," he said, making his way to the coffee. There was a pause as they watched him pour himself a cup.
"What, I don't get a hello?" Hermione laughed. Ron turned around quickly and stammered, realizing he could not get out of this. Hermione shook her head and sighed exasperatedly. With a meaningful glance at Harry, she left the kitchen. Ron sighed and made himself some cereal.
"I just don't know what to do," Ron sat down at the table.
Harry sat down again. "That's alright," he smiled, "You're both handling a marriage proposal rejection rather well."
Ron scoffed and scooped some more cereal. "You didn't hear us last night." Ron muttered, "I think it's finally over."
Something in Harry's stomach did a leap and someone was screaming in his head. He blocked it out and shook his head. "Come on," he tried, "You say that everyday. You two fight all the time. It's not over. It never is."
"It should be." Another leap. "She doesn't love me." A squeal rang in his ears. "I don't deserve her. I don't listen to her. I don't understand her. I don't know what's going on inside of her head. I never do. I never have. I'm a horrible boyfriend. No wonder she doesn't want to marry me." Before Harry could react, Ron took his bowl and threw it at the wall. It smashed loudly and the pieces fell to the ground. Harry gulped and Ron shook with anger. "She doesn't want to marry me," Ron whispered, as if it was suddenly hitting him. He turned to Harry, anger in his eyes. "She doesn't want to marry me, Harry," he repeated, willing him to understand, "She doesn't WANT to marry me! She DOESN'T WANT to marry me!" He pushed Harry out of his way and stormed out of the kitchen.
Harry chased after him and followed him up the stairs. "Ron! Ron, come on."
Ron spun around, furious now. "She doesn't want me, Harry," Ron said slowly, "She doesn't WANT ME. She doesn't want me to be her husband. She wants YOU. Did she tell you that?? She wants me to be more like YOU. If I were more like YOU, Hermione would marry me! Do you realize what that means, Harry? She doesn't want ME! She wants someone different from me! She wants someone else! She doesn't want me! Do you know how that feels?!"
Harry stammered, unable to think after he mentioned Hermione's name.
Ron scoffed loudly. "No, of course not. You've already got a fucking bride. She's WAITING for you to pop the bloody question!" Ron spun back around and stormed upstairs.
Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was tired of everyone saying it. He wasn't going to ask Ginny to marry him. He…he…he wasn't ready. It was GINNY. Ginny? His wife? No, he just couldn't picture it. He went back down the stairs and entered the living room, looking through his files again. He glanced at a picture of Dolohov and tried to pry his mind off all the happenings that had occurred in just two weeks. All this talk of marriage had truly shaken his life. Ginny, suddenly desperate to be his wife? Ron, completely obsessed with marrying? Hermione, not ready to be a bride? What truly bothered Harry was how he was feeling about Hermione. He felt the surge of relief when she said no to Ron. He felt as if a weight had been lifted when he heard them fighting last night. He was worried. Very worried. When Ginny and Ron weren't home, he evidently lusted for Hermione. Convinced he was just lonely, he tried as hard as he could to let it go. But now Ginny and Ron were home, and he found himself wanting Hermione even more.
~*~
"I just want a straight answer!"
Ron was making his way up the stairs when he heard his sister's cry. He turned in the direction of her and Harry's bedroom. Slowly creeping towards it, he pushed his ear up against the door.
"Do you want to marry my brother or not?"
"I'm not ready. Will you please just-"
"Why aren't you ready?!"
"Will you please lower your voice? I'm not ready bec-"
"Because you don't love him?"
"NO!"
"Then why won't you marry him?"
"Because I'm not ready! I want to travel, Gin! I want to see the world! I don't want to be tied down!"
"So being married to my brother is considered being tied down?"
"Being married to anyone is considered being tied down."
"You can travel with a husband, Hermione!"
"It's not just that, Ginny. He doesn't understand me! We've been apart for so long. We're practically strangers!"
"One Quidditch season and suddenly you're strangers? A very strong friendship you have there!"
"It's different, you don't understand!"
"I understand! I'm going through the exact same thing with Harry! We're fine!"
"He hasn't proposed yet! Ever wonder why?"
"Don't change the subject! This is about you and my brother!"
"Exactly! Between US! Not you, Ginny! Leave us alone! Let us sort this out ourselves! Worry about your own relationship!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"It means-"
"No, nevermind, it doesn't matter! This is about you and Ron! And if you don't love him, just say so."
"STOP IT! I LOVE RON!"
"THEN MARRY HIM!"
Hermione growled loudly and opened the door. Ron fell down with an 'oof!' He heard Hermione sigh angrily. "LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU TWO!" she yelled. "YOU!" she pointed at Ginny, "MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS FOR ONCE!" She pointed at Ron. "AND YOU!" she stammered for a second, "GROW UP!" Then she stormed downstairs, whipped out her wand and casted a charm on the stairs. Slowly, they disappeared. Ron ran to the top of the stairs. He glanced around at the floor. Horrified by what she had done, he screamed at Hermione. She ignored his yell and pointed upstairs again. "Accio Ron and Ginny's wands!" In an instant, the two wands flew towards her. Hermione took them gently in her hands and set them on the floor. Then she casted a silencio charm and smiled as their screams went unheard.
"Finally," she heard a voice. She turned her head and saw Harry's tired smile. "It's been a very busy morning. I was wondering when they would shut up."
Hermione giggled and followed him into the living room. "It was a very mean thing to do," she admitted, sitting down on the couch.
Harry shook his head almost violently. "They have no right to force you into a marriage you've already said no to many times."
Hermione smiled. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For listening. It's…been a while." Hermione blushed. "Did you hear us? Ginny and I?"
Harry lowered his head and nodded.
"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have made so many assumptions about your relationship."
Harry raised his hand. "No, you were quite right. Ginny and I…we've become strangers as well. If she's expecting a proposal, she'll have to wait."
Hermione smiled and felt her day brighten.
Harry returned the smile and cleared his throat. He became serious. "Look, I know you might not want to talk about…yesterday…but-"
"It's alright. I'm ready."
Harry sighed in relief. "Well… you can start."
"No, you."
"No, Hermione, I'm serious…you first."
Hermione took a deep breath and thought. She wanted this to come out truthfully. "When they were gone, I really was lonely. So lonely. You seemed to be there when I needed someone. You were my Harry. I…I'll admit I did feel something when I was on your bed the day Rita wrote her article. I felt these emotions that I didn't know I could feel for anyone but Ron. You've…you've always been there for me, Harry. You've always understood me in a way Ron never did. You listen to me. You…you finish my sentences. You're…you're Harry." She tried to continue but found she couldn't.
Harry lowered his head. "And you're my Hermione," he whispered.
Hermione raised her head. "I'm sorry, Harry. I've been very confused-"
"No, don't you dare be sorry, Hermione! This has nothing to do with you. If anyone, I'm the one who's been confused. I've been lonely. I've been drunk. I've been hitting on my best friend-making out with her at one point-and then nearly shagging her on a couch! I've…I've been feeling very different these last few weeks."
Hermione swallowed. "As have I."
"I thought it would-"
"Go away when they came home."
"But when Ron proposed to me, I was"
"I saw you."
"This is what I'm talking about, Hermione! When he proposed, I wanted you to say…" Harry sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. "I wanted you to say no." He looked up and Hermione and waited for a reaction. 1
"When he proposed…" she whispered, "My eyesight shifted to you." She laughed at herself. "Listen to that sentence. When my boyfriend proposed to me, I immediately looked for your reaction."
Harry sighed. "It's just a phase, Hermione. We're going through something. It's not loneliness. But it's something. I don't know what it is but it'll go away."
Hermione nodded. "I know."
Harry sighed again, ran his fingers through his bangs and handed her a file. "In the meantime, let's talk business. Read it. I think might be onto something."
Hermione smiled and proceeded to read the file. Her eyes lightened and she looked back at Harry with a smile.
"Harry, you did it!" She squealed.
"I-I did?!"
"Yes! This all makes perfect sense! This is incredible! This explains everything! Why we can't find the floo history and-"
"And the-"
"Yes! And then-"
"And the-"
"Yes! And the-"
"I know!"
"Harry, this is brilliant! Well done!" Harry brimmed with pride and they continued to smile at one another for a little while longer. "We should get going," she said.
Harry nodded and drew his gaze away from her, grabbing his cloak and wand. Hermione did the same. They left the living room when Harry suddenly put his hand on his shoulder. "What about the Weasleys?"
Hermione paused and contemplated. She turned her head to see them at the top of the…non-existent stairs, still screaming. She shook her head in disappointment. "Let's go," she said, as she left the house. Harry followed.
Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to *someone special* out there. Life is sweet. Thank you for being my sugar.