The Sweat of a Gladiator
A/N: FYI, thinking two, maybe three chapters tops to go for this story.
Disclaimer: Not my characters, no money being made, etc. etc.
Chapter Nine
"Sure you don't want to dive?" Harry asked, as he pointed to his temple. "I've already got that memory cued up for you."
Hermione looked at him and pouted. "Yes I'm sure, you prat. Now go and get that pensieve."
Harry was still a little embarrassed at the thought of walking starkers about the tower, but aside from Ron, the only other people that could bypass the wards and pop in on them unannounced were Remus and Tonks, and he knew for certain that their on-duty shifts at Hogwarts didn't end until six.
Which is why he was caught completely off-guard when, just after walking out of the tent and into the tower proper, Tonks and Remus suddenly appeared with drawn wands and two small pops.
His first reaction was to cover himself. Unfortunately the closest thing at hand was the pensieve, and in his haste to cover himself up he brought the two-stone object to his crotch far faster than he should have. The pain from whacking himself in the balls forced him to drop the pensieve, which then landed square on his foot. And so Harry found himself greeting his unexpected guests naked, bent over in pain, and hopping on one foot.
"Oh look, Remus," Tonks observed dryly,. "Harry's got a happy dance too." She then added, "Careful, there, Harry…wouldn't want to clip Mr. Phoenix's wings, would we?"
Other than expressing his relief that he hadn't left his memory in the spilt bowl, Harry didn't know where to start. Should he scream out in pain, scream at Hermione for disclosing his cock's new nickname, or ask Tonks and Remus what in Merlin's name they were doing there? He quickly transfigured the small table into a wooden shield to cover himself, then chose option three.
"Aren't you two supposed to be on duty at the castle? Harry asked through clenched teeth.
"We are," Remus replied with a smile. "But you and Hermione left the grounds without telling anyone where you were going."
"Thought we had passes."
"You do, but Dobby said that Hermione seemed quite upset back at Hogwarts, and you promised Poppy that you'd check back within the hour, and.you didn't."
Harry winced again as he acknowledged that point. He then called back inside the tent. "Hermione, Tonks is here, would you please bring out my dressing gown?"
Hermione shouted back, "If it's just Tonks, no. You need to get used to your skin, and Tonks might need to be there during sweat collection." As if she intended to lead by example, Hermione then casually threw open the tent flap and walked out in the buff. As soon as she saw Remus she let out a loud "Eeep!" and dove back inside.
"Why didn't you tell me Remus was here too?" she called out.
"Why does it matter?" Harry replied. "You said we both needed the practice, and he's as much of a virgin as Tonks is."
"Hey," Remus kiddingly chided, "I resemble that remark."
Hermione quickly returned wearing a gown, and carrying one for Harry. She draped it over his shoulders, allowing him to drop the shield (once he turned his back to Tonks) and tie it shut with its belt.
"Oy, Harry, what's with all the modesty," Tonks asked. "It's not like I haven't already seen your stapler."
Harry's mouth opened in shock.
"Hermione, just what were you two talking about at the chemist's?" Harry asked.
"Oh, nothing…and everything …you know, girl talk."
"So when did you start doing `girl talk,' Hermione?"
"About the same time you noticed that I was a girl," she replied, before placing a light kiss on his lips. Hermione then cast healing charms on his foot and crotch, the latter eliciting snickers from Tonks.
"What'cha doing there, Hermione, casting a reduction spell so that it fits better?"
Hermione responded by sticking out her tongue as Harry offered his thanks.
"So either of you care to share some news?" Remus asked, reading into the banter.
"Or are you two too busy sharing with each other," added Tonks.
"As a matter of fact," Hermione replied primly, "Harry was about to show me his memory of the deal he made with the hag…play nice and we might let you watch as well."
"Didn't realize that pensieve viewing required one to shed their robes," said Remus.
"Probably depends on the memory they were watching," quipped Tonks.
"Oh, you two are such the comedians," said Hermione. "Here's some advice…don't quit your day jobs."
Tonks and Remus held up their hands in mock surrender, then followed Harry as he picked up the pensieve and walked back inside the tent. As he had no intention of diving into the memory with Tonks and Remus, Harry placed it on the low table in front of the main room's sofa. Remus's eyes went wide as he took in the trail of clothing that led to the bedroom, but said nothing.
"See something interesting, Remus?" Hermione asked, as she brought four cold butterbeers in from the kitchen.
"Erm…no, nothing at all," he replied after a nervous glance at Tonks.
Hermione chuckled. "Tonks threatened to cut you off if you said anything too racy, didn't she?"
"Right in one," he admitted.
Tonks and Remus made no effort to conceal their affection for each other as they plopped down on the sofa. If Tonks and Remus were surprised at the ease with which Harry and Hermione adopted the same positions on a facing love seat, they kept that to themselves.
They viewed the memory twice, with Hermione taking notes with quill and parchment the second time around. Remus looked rather uncomfortable during both viewings of Susan's descriptive hypothetical, prompting Tonks to whisper a few naughty suggestions into his ear. Harry had his own control issues to worry about, but that was more due to the way Hermione's gown opened when she hunched over to write than from anything that Susan said.
Hermione's writing took her a bit beyond the projection's end. They then asked Harry some clarifying questions to gain a better understanding of what he did, what he wanted to do, and who he wanted to do. Harry score big-time boyfriend points when he talked about the "true love" exemption to Dark act virginity taking, and stated that while a week's time might not be long enough for them to learn if they were each other's true love, he certainly wanted to try. That explanation was rewarded by a kiss from Hermione, congratulations from Tonks, and admonishment from Remus about how stupid Harry was not to have figured it out sooner.
The four of them spent a few minutes discussing the viability of a "Co-Ed Naked Dueling Club" (TM), and the challenges of adding a few more variables to the arithmetic equations that determined sweat potency. Hermione and Remus seemed excited at the prospect of working through the formulas. Harry, who thought that arithmancy ought to satisfy a foreign language requirement, was decidedly less so, and suggested that with access to the stone disk they could simply collect sweat under a variety of different conditions and calibrate on the fly until they found a combination that worked. Hermione thought that Harry was just trying to justify spell-spanking Susan in the name of scientific inquiry, but was forced to admit that Harry's practical approach would do well in confirming their theoretical explorations.
Tonks loved the concept of a Co-Ed Naked Dueling Club (TM), reckoning that it would do more to combat the threat of Dementor attack than anything the Ministry could come up with. Everyone got the joke - with the price of a male student's admission to the club being the successful production of a corporeal Patronus, that spell would be practiced like none other within the upper grades.
Harry expressed his concern for the obvious. It was fun to dream and joke about it, but the Headmistress and Board of Governors would frown upon any student organization involving naked teenagers. But then Tonks said that it would be one effective way of promoting chastity before marriage (if only in the technical sense). Remus started to think out loud about the potential value of the sweat collected by the club (if not the galleons, then the potential trading value on the wizarding black market). And then, to top it all off, Hermione dropped a bombshell.
"You know," she said, "there already is precedent for something quite similar at Hogwarts."
Harry and Tonks looked at Hermione with shock. Remus looked at her with a bit more bemusement, and he asked, "N.E.W.T. level Ancient Runes?"
Hermione smiled and nodded her head.
"What does naked have to do with Ancient Runes?" Harry asked.
"Some of the N.E.W.T. level rituals require naked dancing and chanting around the pentagrams," Hermione said matter-of-factly.
"And this happens in Hogwarts? During Sixth Year?"
Hermione shrugged her shoulders. "Yes, and yes."
"And this involves both male and female students?" Harry asked, with anxiety levels rising.
"Sometimes," Hermione replied. "The more interesting rune inscriptions only require naked virgin females, but they also teach us some minor ones that can use either males or females. I think that's only to put the males and females on equal anxiety footings."
"And you took part in this last year?"
"Of course, Harry," Hermione replied. "Everyone in the class participated."
Harry's mind raced as he desperately tried to remember which male students were taking Ancient Runes. He started listed them out loud. "So Terry Boot, Ernie McMillan, Draco Malfoy….they've all seen you naked?"
"Erm, sure," Hermione replied. "Don't forget Blaise, too. But not just me…Padma, Susan, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, Cho…"
"Wait a minute…there were seventh year girls there too?"
Hermione nodded. "We had a combined class to make sure we had enough virgins to complete the rituals."
Tonks snorted. "So that was a problem, huh?"
Hermione chuckled, then said, "Yes."
Harry shook his head, not knowing whether to laugh or explode. "So why is it that I never knew about this?"
"Because you weren't in the class, Harry," Hermione replied. "And you never seemed to be that interested in Runes."
"My loss, apparently."
Tonks squinted a bit at Remus. "And I imagine things were no different when you were at Hogwarts?"
Remus nodded.
"Then why didn't you ever tell me?" Tonks asked.
"Well, erm…." Lupin stammered. He seemed to be at a loss for words.
"Don't be mad," Hermione interjected. "He didn't tell you because he couldn't."
"What do you mean?"
"Some sort of `pain of death' promise not to reveal?" Harry asked.
"Oh, no, nothing so bad as that," Hermione replied. "The male students have to submit themselves to a modified obliviate spell. That way, they know how the runes are inscribed without having any memories of what their naked classmates looked liked."
"Or that they even participated, apparently," Remus added.
Harry turned to Remus. "You told me that my mum took Runes with you right?"
"Yes."
"Then you've seen her naked before?"
"Erm….I guess so."
Tonks asked Hermione, "So why is it that you remember all this?
"They don't make the female students accept the oblivate."
"Why's that?"
Harry chuckled. "Probably for the same reason that the guys can't get up the Gryff girl dormitory stairs, but they can get up ours." He then turned to Hermione. "So they can't remember what you look like starkers, but you know what they pack under their robes?"
Hermione nodded.
"So Malfoy, Blaise, Ernie, Terry ….you've seen them all?"
Hermione nodded. "It's no big deal, really." She then looked off to the side, as if remembering something, then added with a giggle, "Particularly Malfoy's."
Harry shook his head. "I guess we should focus on the fact that this sort of thing exists as precedent."
Hermione nodded. "Although we'd have to work around the "no magic" rule…the boys couldn't be obliviated."
"Would the girls have to know that?" Remus asked cheekily.
Tonks swatted his arm. "Yes," both she and Hermione replied.
They all sat there quietly for a moment, before Remus asked Harry and Hermione, "So let's say this Co-Ed Naked Dueling Club (TM) gets approved….what's that mean for you two?"
Harry turned to look at Hermione, and she quietly returned the gaze. After a few moments of indecision on who would reply, Harry said, "Good question…the whole point of the club would be to collect sweat potent enough to make the hag happy without anybody shagging. But if it means that I'd have to spell-spank someone to do it…"
Hermione interjected. "Harry and I obviously have some homework to do. Unlike Susan Bones, I really doubt that I'd be sexually excited by corporal punishment, but we won't know until we try."
Harry turned to her with a full blush and a priceless look. "Really?"
To Tonks and Remus's chagrin, Hermione shrugged her shoulders again and simply said, "Yes." She then added, "Of course, the fact that I might not get off on it…"
"Or that I'd get off administering it to you," Harry added.
Hermione nodded agreement. "That doesn't mean that Harry couldn't spell-spank someone else. Merlin knows Susan seems eager enough."
Harry started to object, but Hermione cut him off. "No, Harry…I'm serious. We've got a debt to repay for Ron's life, and I'm just as ready now to do whatever it takes than I was this morning."
Harry bit his lip rather than giver her the reply on the tip of his tongue. He then changed tack. "I guess that we do have some homework then.
Hermione turned to Tonks and Lupin. "You two have any suggestions for us?"
"About what?"
"About how Harry and I can figure out if we'd enjoy some light S&M."
Remus choked on something, while Tonks asked "And just why would you think that we'd be in a position to give you advice on that topic?"
Hermione smiled and shook her head. "Tsk, tsk, Tonks…don't tell me that Little Red Riding Hood's never played spanky-spanky with her Big Bad Wolf."
Remus turned a bit red and then turned towards Tonks. "And just what have you been telling Hermione?"
Harry commiserated. "More of that `Girl Talk,' apparently."
When it looked like she wasn't going to get anything out of Tonks, Hermione turned to Harry and said, "Harry, you had something that you needed to talk about with Remus outside of the tent, right?"
Harry gave her a puzzled look. "Not that I recall, Hermione…"
"Sure you did, Harry," Hermione responded sweetly. "Maybe if you take Remus outside you'll remember it."
"Huh?"
Remus smiled as he stood up. "Harry," he said, "in situations such as these, you'll invariably find that the correct answer is `Yes, Dear'."
"Oh." Harry then turned to Hermione, smiled and said with a sing-song voice, "Yes, Dear."
That earned him a punch in the arm as he got up. He followed Remus, and just before the tent flap closed behind him heard Hermione whisper, "Okay, Tonks, spill it!"
Harry and Remus walked over to a table and chairs set up on one side of the room and sat down. Remus looked at his empty bottle of butterbeer and said, "We should have grabbed a couple more of these on the way out."
Harry snorted, and declared, "Forget that." He then pointed his wand towards the tent and called out "Accio Stouts." A moment later two bottles of dark brown ale sailed out from inside the tent and landed on the table. Harry then cast the bottlecap charm.
"Thanks," Remus replied as he raised the bottle. "And cheers."
"Cheers."
They sat for a few seconds before Harry asked, "So Remus, you and Tonks are pretty happy together, right?"
Remus shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure."
"Any advice on how Hermione and I go about discovering if we're each other's true love?"
Remus sat for a minute and thought, before replying. "Harry, Tonks and I have really only known each other for what…three years? And semi-officially a couple since June?" He chuckled. "I think that we're still trying to find that out ourselves."
"But you have to have some idea."
"Well, there's no spell you can cast or potion to swallow to tell you that, Harry. Wizards and witches are pretty much in the same boat with muggles when it comes to things like true love. Guess you'd have to decide that you were in love with other as a first step…have you gotten that far at least?"
"Erm, no… or I should say, we haven't expressed that to each other yet."
Remus nodded. "Harry, I know you're worried about that `True Love' business, and it's great that you are, but I don't think that you can dwell on that. Maybe twenty or fifty years from now you two could look back and see the right choice was made, but for now….well, if I were you, I'd figure that being head over heels in love with the girl is good enough."
"And you can tell that how?"
"Oh," Remus said with a smile, "I think you know that one already. But again, if I were you….well, I'd try and find a place where just the two of you could figure that out without worrying that someone will apparate in at the wrong time."
Harry nodded, and finished off the last of his ale just as Tonks walked out from the tent and towards them.
"Come along, Wolfie," Tonks said with a grin. "We have business elsewhere." She then turned to Harry and morphed that grin into a leer. "And you, Professor Potter, have business inside."
"What?"
Tonks laughed. "You have business inside, Professor….one of your students has been a very naughty girl and has shown up for her detention."
Harry almost had her meaning wrapped around his mind, but asked for some confirmation. "So, erm…Professor Tonks, if she were your student…what sort of discipline would you suggest?"
Tonks arched her eyebrows and smiled. "Oh, I think that you know just what she needs." She then grabbed Remus's hand and said, "And I'm thinking that I might just need the same thing, Professor Lupin."
Lupin raised one eyebrow, then turned to Harry. "Right then…time to go…talk to you tonight."
They then disapparated with loud bangs, as each was in a hurry to get someplace else.
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