All Bets Off
James and Sirius were sweating bullets, their swords drawn in proper fencing position. They had been warned many times before, neither of them liked to wear the protective gear that went along with proper fencing. With Mr. Potter supervising, though, the two of them had the gear on which made for two very sweaty boys. Both highly competitive, neither of them was being gentle on the other and they were dueling as if to the death.
"Good job," Sirius said rubbing his chest where James had bested him once again. His skill as the Gryffindor seeker had made his reflexes quick like a cat.
"Thanks," James said as he took his head gear off, adding it to the pile of gear on the shelf.
"That was amazing!" Lily cried out from the doorway where she and Mrs. Potter were standing. Lily had already spent an entire week with the Potters, and she and James had spent little time together. Lily had found that Mrs. Potter enjoyed doting on Lily like the daughter that she had never had.
"Hey, Lily," James and Sirius both said looking over at Lily. She was wearing a simple green skirt and a matching tee shirt. She looked relaxed, her hair swept behind her shoulders, and she was smiling at them.
"Lily, would you like to learn?" Mr. Potter asked as he put down his pipe and paper. His eyes crinkled at her, his smile infectious. Lily couldn't help but smile.
"Sure," Lily said in agreement, stepping into the room. She sat on the bench and removed her shoes.
"All the gear is going to be too big for her," James challenged as he wiped his sweaty hair out of his face.
"She needn't put the gear on, she isn't dueling," Mr. Potter said as he stepped forward with the slender sword. He handed it to Lily carefully guiding her hand on the proper way to hold it.
"Ryan, the caterers are here," Mrs. Potter called from somewhere in the house. Mr. Potter bowed to Lily.
"Jamie, take over, will you son?" Mr. Potter said as he headed out of the room. Sirius watched as James hesitantly walked over to Lily.
"I am going to head up for a shower," Sirius said as he exited, leaving Lily and James alone in the room.
"So, I haven't seen you much," James said quietly as he adjusted Lily's grip on the sword.
"You mom has been so sweet to me," Lily said smiling at him as she felt him step behind her. His arm matched hers, his hand encircling hers. "We went shopping in Paris and in Milan. She picked out the most beautiful dress for the ball tonight. Too bad I don't have a date."
"Yeah," James breathed as he caught a whiff of her perfume that she dabbed ever so carefully just behind her ear. She turned and tilted her head so that she could see him over her shoulder.
"Why did you invite me to come and stay for Christmas, James," Lily asked as she pulled free of him. She stood facing him, barely a foot from his body.
"I wanted to spend Christmas with you," James said. He laughed. "I haven't really spent that much time with you, though. My mom has been a bit of a time hog."
"Do you regret not being able to ask me out?" Lily asked quietly as her fingers reached to touch his wild mane of sweaty hair. She brushed them to the side a bit, her lip nibbled on slightly in thought.
"Nah, I hadn't noticed," James lied. Lily's eyes went from his hair to his eyes. She smiled at him.
"What if we write new terms to our trade, James?" Lily asked as her hand cupped his cheek slightly. She tilted her head and she stood on her toes to bring her mouth very near his.
"What kind of terms?" James asked in a breathless sort of way. "I nearly have everything I want."
"Nearly?" Lily taunted. Her mouth was so near his, he could feel the tickle of her breath on his lips. He swallowed nervously.
"I am not asking you out, Lily," James told her. Lily pressed her mouth to his, her arms going up around his shoulders.
"Lily, wait," James murmured. With his words, his mouth opened, the words escaping and Lily took advantage of the situation. James felt the greatest soaring feeling as Lily kissed him quite properly and he found himself kissing her back, gathering her against his already sweaty body. He wanted her so badly, he felt his urges fighting against the self control he seemed to dictate with miserably as of lately.
Groaning, James pulled free and put some distance between his self and Lily. She looked at him; her lips redden by the intense kiss that they had just shared. She gestured for him to follow her but he shook his head no. He wanted to follow her, he did, but it wouldn't have been good to cross the line his body wanted to cross. They would never be the same.
"I will see you at the ball, Lily," James said as he left her in the room. She didn't follow him, though he wasn't sure why he had expected her to chase after him. He had been thankful. One more moment alone with her, one more kiss, and James wouldn't have been able to restrain his self. He would have asked her to marry him right there. James laughed aloud at that thought.
`You have just kissed her properly for the first time and already you are thinking marriage,' James chastised himself. `You don't even know her past.'
James was glad to find that Sirius had used up all of the hot water and he didn't complain as he stood under the shower of cold rain. Unable to take the pain of the icy water any longer having stood there a good ten minutes or so, James summoned his wand and enchanted the shower to pour out nearly scalding water. He had frozen Lily's willing arousal from his body and mind, and then burned away the sensation of her touch from his skin. James stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. The door to the bathroom opened and Lily walked in to the room.
James stood there, his mouth twisted slightly in what might have been a grin had he not been so startled to be stark naked in front of Lily. Her mouth dropped and she was unable to keep her eyes north of his waist. Lily flushed deep crimson, and her hands finally went to her eyes, covering them.
"I am so sorry!" Lily exclaimed as she reached around blindly behind her for the door. James still hadn't made a move to cover himself, his hand clutching the towel tightly in his hand. "I swear that I…"
"Saw everything?" James offered nonchalantly as he finally wrapped the towel around his waist. He moved to her side, standing ever so close to her.
"Yeah," Lily breathed as she was suddenly aware of his proximity to her. He pulled her hands away from her eyes. They stood there, face to face so very close to each other. Sirius walked in the door, saw them, and backed right out of the bathroom.
"We need to talk," James said with his jaw clenched against the words that he desired to say to her.
"Ok," Lily said.
"I don't want to live by your stupid rules anymore," James said. "If that makes me a jerk or whatever, I don't care. I want to know everything about you, Lily: whom you have slept with, the curve of your breast in my hand, the taste of you mouth in mine, and everything else. I want to know every hidden secret of your body. I want to date you and one day marry you."
"What?" Lily asked as her mouth dropped again. James pressed himself against her, her backend resting against the countertop.
"You heard me, Lily," James said as his mouth crushed down on hers rather possessively. "I want you."
They kissed for what seemed like hours, though only a few minutes had passed between them. It had only taken James a couple of minutes to express to Lily how he really felt about her, his hand had already loosened the knot on the belt of her robe. She was hesitant as James' hand slid between the robe and her body, his hand resting on the bare skin of her waist.
James lost the towel somewhere between the bathroom and Lily's bed. There was nothing between them any longer, no walls, no hesitations, and certainly no clothes. James continued to kiss her while his hand greeted each inch of her body, willing it to let him know the secrets. Lily could feel her heart beating, and she knew that this was going to happen, the pace that Lily and James were moving was break-neck. Their bodies seemed to crave each other as plants crave sunlight, each reaching out to touch and be touched.
"James," Lily whispered as she felt him come closer to her. She felt his lip caressing her neck and heading down further to be properly acquainted with more of her body.
"Shh, Lily, this is ok," James murmured against her body as his hand caressed one of her breasts. His mouth had found hers again and was taking possession of her soul at that moment.
"Lily, if you…" Mrs. Potter said as she walked into Lily's room. James and Lily froze in horror as Mrs. Potter stood there with the most shocked look on her face. Mrs. Potter didn't make a motion to leave; she just stood there.
"James," Lily hissed as she shoved him off her. She pulled the robe tightly around her and tied the belt. She shoved James from her room, back into the bathroom and slammed the door. Lily turned around to apologize and to explain to Mrs. Potter but the woman was gone. Lily had seen the disappointed look on Mrs. Potter's face, and the horror of what Lily and her son were doing. Lily sunk onto the edge of the bed and covered her face. She was horrified that she had gone so far with James and she had been caught by his mother.
`Way to go,' Lily thought angrily to herself as the heat rose like fire in her cheeks. `Now Mrs. Potter thinks you are some kind of horny teenager hell-bent on sleeping with her son, whom she probably thinks is so sexually innocent. You are a genius.'
Lily sat there for a while, her hands covering her face. She debated just leaving and heading back to Hogwarts early. Normally she wasn't one that ran from things, but this time it had just been too much. She hadn't even had the sense to talk to James about things like protection. She had just lain upon that bed, practically leg-spread for the taking. She was mortified by her actions.
"Is it clear?" A voice called from the doorway. Lily looked up to see Mrs. Potter standing there. Her cheeks were flushed with the same embarrassment that Lily felt to her core.
"Mrs. Potter, really, I am so sorry," Lily groaned as she stood, her arms wrapped tightly around the robe. "That was so inappropriate of me."
"Lily, please call me Beth," Mrs. Potter chastised gently as a smile crossed her face. "I won't pretend that I was shocked to walk in on that little interaction between you and my son. Though I know my son is no saint, it is hard to think of him in a man-driven-by-hormones sort of way. One day, when you have a son, it will be the same, I am sure. You will see how much you pretend."
"Mrs. Potter, I mean Beth, I am still so sorry. I usually don't allow myself to get caught up in a moment," Lily defended. Mrs. Potter smiled and nodded.
"Those Potter men have a way about making a girl forget her head. Ryan was the same way, and I think James must have picked up a thing or two from his father," Mrs. Potter said wistfully. "You will see, one day. Sons and fathers are so much alike, yet so different. Ryan would have never been so bold, but James is like me in that sense: always pushing the letter." Mrs. Potter had opened the closet and pulled from it the garment bag that held Lily's dress.
"I promise I won't let that happen again," Lily swore as Mrs. Potter handed her the bag.
"I would give my life to protect my son, Lily, and to keep him from being hurt. I couldn't ask you to promise that because I know my son, and I know he loves you. He may not be able to say it, in so many words, but the way he looks at you and speaks of you makes me see how much it would hurt him to loose you," Mrs. Potter said from chair as Lily pulled her undergarments on before she dressed.
"I don't understand," Lily said as she bit her lip, pulling the dress up over her breasts.
"He loves you, and if you don't love him back, you need to let him know and let him go," Mrs. Potter said simply. "It is better in the long run. A little hurt now is better than a lot of hurt later."
"I don't know how I feel about him," Lily said quietly as she came out behind the changing screen. Mrs. Potter smiled at Lily.
"You are very beautiful and intelligent. I know that the right answer will come to you," Mrs. Potter said as she had Lily sit down in front of the vanity. Mrs. Potter went to work on Lily's hair, styling it a very elegantly in an up-do. Despite her never having had a daughter of her own, Lily found that Mrs. Potter was very tender towards her.
Mrs. Potter left Lily in her room while she headed down to the ballroom to over-see the final details for the annual Potter Christmas Ball. She passed Sirius and James who were hanging out on the stairs talking as they struggled with the bow ties and jackets of their tuxedoes. She raised an eyebrow at them both but said nothing to them.
"I can't believe Mom walked in on me and Lily," James groaned as he retied Sirius' bow tie.
"I can't believe you and Lily were naked in her bed," Sirius said laughing. James rolled his eyes.
"I practically threw a marriage proposal at her feet. I am so stupid. She only kissed me to be polite and then I was like a crazed horny teenager," James said critically.
"In case you forgot, you are a crazed horny teenager. Anyways, Evans isn't bad looking, and you know my theory of how repressed teenage girls are vixens in bed," Sirius commented as Mr. Potter found them.
"Your mother tells me she caught you in a compromising position," Mr. Potter said with a mock serious voice. He grinned at his son, his eyes crinkling. "Your mother wants me to give you the talk about respectful behavior and what not, and I said that I would, but I know you well enough to know what is right and wrong."
"I didn't mean for Mom to walk in on that," James confessed. Mr. Potter shook his head.
"I doubt you did, it is just that your mother worries and she doesn't want to see you get hurt. Lily is a very lovely girl, but before you give her your heart, make sure she actually wants it, ok?" Mr. Potter said clapping his son's shoulder with his hand.
The three men walked down to the drawing room, waiting for Mrs. Potter to put the finishing touches on this and that before storing her wand away. She looked not at Sirius, James, or her husband, but at Lily who had silently appeared behind them to inspect the decorations.
"Do you like?" Mrs. Potter asked Lily. James' breath caught in his chest as she brushed past him slightly. Lily was wearing a light golden colored dress, almost the shade of champagne, which had a plunging neckline and a low cut back with thin crisscrossing straps. She wore a simple silver chain with matching bracelet.
"Yes," Lily and James replied at the same time. Lily looked at James frowning. She had been replying to Mrs. Potter about the decorations, where as James had been replying to Lily's attire.
James could swallow and he couldn't keep his eyes off Lily, despite himself. She would catch him staring at her with the most intense look on his face and Lily could help but blush. She was thankful with Alice and Frank arrived, Lily throwing herself into Alice's arms and then dragging her off to a quiet area to tell her everything that had happened so far.
"Are you going to tell him about you and Snape?" Alice asked after she got over her initial shock. Lily had her arms wrapped around herself.
"I don't know. James and I got so close to it tonight, we only stopped because his mother came in and caught us," Lily said in a loud whisper.
"Mortifying," Alice added. Lily nodded.
"Worse than James reading my diary, trust me," Lily said quietly. "If she hadn't come in, he would have known. It would have become apparent."
"So, just tell him," Alice encouraged. "I think he really must love you, how could he not?"
"It's not that easy, Alice," Lily said. "What if…"
"What, he takes it wrong? Unless you take that chance, you will never know. Something tells me that he will be ok with it, you know. It has been two… three years since you and Snape went to the Room of Requirement?" Alice said. "A lot about you has changed since then, and with him."
"He isn't the pompous jerk he used to be and I don't want to give him a reason to go back that way," Lily said as she and Alice headed back to the party.
"I think you have no other choice. You need to let him read the missing pages of the diary," Alice said as the girls walked back into the ball room.
"Where have you been?" Sirius teased as he slipped his arm around Alice. Alice looked scandalized and mortified, shoving Sirius' arm off her. She glanced around; satisfied that Frank hadn't seen the motion.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Alice hissed angrily. She shoved her left hand in front of Sirius' face. "I am getting married to Frank."
Sirius' eyes went to the pretty engagement ring on Alice's finger and his heart seemed to explode. He felt stupid and foolish. They had always maintained that they were just fooling around, and then Sirius realized that he had been fooling himself. He had fallen for Alice. He nodded and forced a smile, never one to let on that he was hurt.
"Congratulations, Alice," Sirius said. "Frank is a very lucky man."
"Yes I am," Frank said rather possessively as he slid his arm around Alice's waist. He led her away from Sirius and Lily and on to the dance floor.
"Looks like I am not the only one not getting what I want tonight," Lily murmured. She looked at Sirius, blushing. "Sorry, Sirius."
"We knew it was inevitable," Sirius said. He took Lily's hand and led her to the dance floor. "We are too young to let other people get in the way of our happiness."
Sirius took Lily's hand in his and placed his other hand low on her hip. She couldn't help but wish it was James and not Sirius dancing with her. Sirius could feel her reluctance and pulled her a little closer, but more in a protective way. He lowered his mouth to her ear.
"James really does love you," Sirius told her quietly. "He has for as long as he has known you, and he probably always will." Sirius motioned for James to join them on the dance floor. James walked over and stood behind Lily a moment, irrational jealousy welling up at the sight of Sirius' hand on her hip while the two danced. Sirius kissed Lily's cheek and turned her into James' arms.
James found that Lily fit against him as if her body was made specifically for his body. He was amazed at how comfortable he felt in her arms, and how aroused the simple brush of her skin against his skin made him. He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently.
"I love you, and I don't care what you did before me," James whispered. "I only care about what we do now that we are together."
"We are together?" Lily teased nervously. James nodded.
"I am not going to ask you, because I promised I wouldn't in exchange for tonight," James told her. "I am telling you."
"Mighty forward of you, Potter," Lily laughed. James joined in the laughter.
"I don't hear any objections," James teased her as he kissed her again.
"I am not objecting," Lily confessed as she welcomed his kisses. She looked away for a moment. "I still want you to know the complete truth, James. I want you to read those pages before we go any further."
"I really rather not," James told her in a pained way. He didn't want to know the details between Severus Snape and Lily Evans back in early 1975. She began to pull away from James, frowning.
"I need to be completely honest with you, and I need you to know everything," Lily said. James looked at her with such intensity.
"Ok, if you insist," James said reluctantly as he pulled her back to him. "I will read it tonight then I will know everything."
"Then we can be together," Lily murmured as she rested her head on his shoulder.
"You are so forward, Lily," James teased. He went to kiss her but was distracted by a commotion outside of the ballroom. The large French doors swung open with an explosion and Death Eaters, all wearing capes and masks and hoods entered, their wands drawn. James went to reach for his wand only to remember it was upstairs in his room.
"We don't need to spill anyone's blood tonight," drawled one of the Death Eaters. He was tall, and the voice sounded rather familiar in James' opinion. Lily was hanging tightly to his arm; her wand was in her hand, drawn but hidden between them.
"No," James warned her in a whisper as she brought it up a little higher. He placed his hand over hers.
"We are here for one person or another, though we know both are here," The Death Eater called across the room of people, his voice oddly amplified. Everyone was frozen in fear and horror. Lily didn't move, but cast a nonverbal spell. A silvery, shimmery shield formed between the Death Eaters and the guest.
"Lily Evans, we know you are here," A different voice called out from the masses of Death Eaters. It sounded so familiar to James, and a look at Lily made him realize she knew whom these Death Eaters were, at least some of them. The crowd seemed to part, exposing Lily and James to the Death Eaters. The masked group looked at them with great interest.
"I told you Potter would be with Evans," the leader drawled. Lily released James' arm immediately, though he wished to push her behind him and hide her from their view.
"We don't need them both," The other Death Eater said. "Just kill one and let's go."
"Which one though, the Dark Lord just said one was necessary, and I think he would prefer to kill the Mudblood over Potter, but I know how you would end this, so I will let you make the choice," the one drawled to the other.
Mr. Potter came in through the side door, dropping the bottle of elf made wine in surprise. The bottle shattered, sending a rush of crimson red wine spreading across the floor. There was a flash of green light from the wand of the drawling death eater and Mr. Potter lay dead on the floor.
"No!" James screamed as he pushed Lily aside. She fell back on the ground, her concentration was broken, and the shield charm fell. James rushed to his father's side, but there was no life left in his brown eyes. Ryan James Potter was dead.
"So who will it be? James Potter, a pure blooded wizard or Lily Evans, a Mudblood witch?" The death eater drawled. The one he was speaking with had hesitated, looking between the two seventeen year olds.
"Please, Severus, think about what you are doing!" Lily begged as she stood to face him. "I know you are better than this."
"Shut up," yelled the other death eaters.
"And Lucius, please," Lily said as she turned to the drawling Death Eater.
"You dare to speak to me, a pure blood, with your tainted blood status," he drawled angrily. "Drop your wand and die like the sin you are."
"Only a coward would harm and attack unarmed witches and wizards," Lily said forcibly as she remained steady, her wand in her hand.
James was lifted off the ground and his legs were snapped in two. He felt the most intense pain of his bones breaking and piercing through the skin of his legs. He felt an intense wave of pain as the drawling death eater laughed, using James' body as a puppet in which bones and body parts were twisted and bent in unnatural ways. James tried to scream out, but he was silenced before a sound breeched his lips. He was thrown into heavy pieces of furniture and bounced on the hard ground.
"Stop it!" Lily screamed as she came in striking distance of the Death Eaters. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
"He chose James over you," drawled the death eater. "Seems like he is always choosing someone else over you."
"Severus! Stop!" Lily begged her voice harsh and cold as tears streamed down her face. "Please, stop."
The death eater that had been torturing James slammed James hard into the ground and rushed up to Lily, standing but just feet from her. Lily did not shy away and did not cower. She was not a coward; she was her mother's daughter and her father's daughter. She was strong, and if that meant she would die tonight, then so be it.
"I want you to stop and I want you to leave this place," Lily said with her voice cracking full of emotion. "You allowed James' father to die, you probably have killed James by now, what else do you need?"
"I need you dead," he said coldly. Lily tilted her chin up and held her arms out and away from her body.
"Then do it, Severus. Kill me," Lily challenged.
"I don't want to," Severus replied coldly.
"I will not let you hurt James anymore," Lily said as Severus turned toward James.
"I will kill her for you," drawled the other death eater as he raised his wand. Lily closed her eyes and waited for death to come.
"Lily, get out of here and take care of James!" Mrs. Potter screamed as she shoved Lily aside just in time, taking on the full blast of Lucius Malfoy's killing curse. Lily closed her eyes a second, summoning James' broom. She mounted it quickly and pulled James' shattered body on in front of her. She took off, not looking back. She knew it without seeing it. In one night, both Ryan and Beth Potter were dead, and James, like Lily, was an orphan.
"Hang on, James," Lily whispered. "Please, just don't die on me."
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