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Resolutions (of a not-so-New-Years kind)
Author's Note: So it's done. Finished. Ended. Over. Terminated.
Well, except for one silly and unnecessary epilogue, which I'm still writing.
Thanks so much for reading. This story took me nearly a year to write. A dozen lost files, countless false starts, and two laptops later, it's finally done. But those are just details that bore. I really don't want to finish by applauding myself for writing this story while walking uphill in the snow with no shoes on. Because I did. Twice. It was two hills and they were covered with broken glass and rabid dogs. So thanks again for all the reviews, the criticism, and the well-wishing. And really, just thanks for reading.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
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It was a nightmare. A Tonks-inspired nightmare. Hermione looked helplessly on as her jubilant cousin greeted Harry in her utterly unhelpful, evil way.
"Hi Harry!" Tonks exclaimed, a wicked grin on her face.
"Er…Hello Tonks," Harry winced as if expecting a blow.
"I didn't think you'd be back so soon. Couldn't keep away, could you? Mione usually has the opposite effect on men."
Hermione's hands balled into fists as she counted to ten, trying to control her rising anger. Unfortunately, only a series of horrible, disfiguring curses came to mind:
One: Amphamora…Two: Treanonia…Three: Gaseousnous (that's a good one, she'll blow up like a balloon)…
All the while, Tonks went on, blissfully unaware of any immediate danger to her person. "Did you know Sir Sirius was just here? He gave Mione an earful. Probably didn't do much good though. Whenever I shout at her, she just ignores me."
While Harry tried to think of a nice way of replying to that, Hermione managed to gather her courage and spoke up for the first time: "Would you mind waiting outside Harry?" she said as evenly as she could. She cringed as her voice squeaked in a not-adorable way.
He turned to her for the first time, studying her intently.
"Do you want me to leave?" He asked softly. He sounded hurt, she couldn't say for certain because she staring at the floor.
"Oh…leave? No…" she trailed off. "Um…no…of course not Harry," she stammered. "I just…that is…I don't think…"
"Yeah, don't leave Harry," Tonks piped up. "Mione's just going to yell at me but that won't take too long. She'll just toss me upstairs and chew my ear off about some silly thing or another."
"And she'd be right to," Luna nodded sagely.
Tonks shrugged. "Well I never said she wasn't."
"And that's the smartest thing you've said all night." Luna smiled as turned to Harry. "Hello Harry. How have you been?"
"Fine."
"That's good. You'll have to excuse Tonks. She's prone to seizures."
Tonks scratched her head. "I am?"
"Seizures that affect her mouth. In fact, I'd better take her upstairs now before it happens again. Go on Hermione. You two should leave her to me." Luna ushered Tonks upstairs while she motioned for Harry to wait outside.
Luna is an angel, Hermione thought, watching Harry until he disappeared down the front steps. And Tonks is the Devil, that's the only explanation…
Hermione said as much as she watched her lovely, wonderful older sister usher evil horrible Tonks upstairs.
"I know," Luna replied. "Now go. Shoo."
"Shoo?" Hermione echoed nervously, eyeing the front door. "Don't you need help…um…yelling at Tonks?"
Luna rolled her eyes. It was the only time Hermione had ever seen her sister even remotely impatient.
"Hermione, I love you. I do. Really. But I've been waiting months to tell you this. Are you ready to hear it? Good. Here it goes: Talk. To. Harry."
"Talk…?"
"To Harry. Go talk to Harry. Go. Now. Right now. Go."
Hermione shook her head, confused. "You've been waiting months to tell me that?"
"Yes. Maybe even longer. It's been just awful watching you waste away over all this nonsense. After Lavender was married I thought you two would work things out for yourselves…but you haven't. So now I'm insisting. Go. Now. And don't come back until you tell Harry…well…whatever it is you need to tell him."
Hermione was amazed. "Luna…I've never heard you talk like this."
"Well somebody's had to maintain some semblance of sanity in this family. You certainly haven't, and Tonks…well… Tonks is special."
"There's a nice of putting it."
"Never mind about Tonks. Go on. Harry's waiting. Goodness knows how long he's been waiting for you."
"Stop shoving me!"
"Stop being stupid," Luna quipped. Tossing Hermione a lacy white wrap, Luna gave her sister a quick hug and gave her another push towards the door.
"Good luck," Luna said softly.
"I'll need it," Hermione replied, steeling herself as she opened the front door.
Sending one last wave to her sister, Luna headed upstairs. She found Tonks sadly looking out the guestroom window,
watching Hermione and Harry on the steps below.
"What's wrong Tonks?"
Tonks sniffled and shrugged. "S'nothing."
"What is it?"
"Well…It just occurred to me…Harry's going to marry Hermione. I mean, he's really going to marry her, isn't he?"
Luna nodded.
"And that means you'll be off and married before long too. Probably to Ron. Or Draco Malfoy. I met him, you know. He's Sirius's nephew. Horrible name aside, he's actually very handsome. Much more so than Ron. You'll have albino children of course, but there are worse things in life. Like being Mrs. Ronald Weasley for one."
"Tonks," Luna sighed, deciding to ignore Tonks' nonsensical chatter. "Why are you so upset?"
"With you married, I'll be here all alone…with no husbands and no friends at all." Tonks sniffled as Luna patted her on the back.
"But Tonks, you're already married."
"I know, but Remus hates me because I'm a horrible wife and wasn't understanding about his being a werewolf. After all, it's not as though he can help it. I'm sure he didn't ask to be a werewolf…and even if he did, I'm sure he didn't realize it involved eating peasants."
"Maybe it's time you went home. Werewolf or not, he's still your husband. I'll bet he misses you."
"Do you really think so?"
"Of course he does. Besides, the ravens on the carriage told me Change was coming for all three of us. That probably means it's time for you go home and take care of your husband."
"Ravens, huh?"
Luna nodded.
Tonks gave a grateful smile. "I like talking to you Luna."
"Really?"
"It's not every day I meet someone who makes less sense than I do."
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Hermione shrugged the lacy wrap over her shoulders as she trotted down the steps towards a waiting Harry. In her fog of panic, it suddenly dawned on her that her future would be decided by the man standing in front of her. Well, not standing. Harry was pacing up and down the stretch of sidewalk, apparently lost in thought.
"Hello," she said softly, announcing her presence.
Harry turned to her, an indecipherable look on his face.
"All sorted out?"
"Well…um…yes. I mean, no. I mean Tonks is…well… I wanted to say how sorry I am about her," Hermione said in a strangled voice.
Harry said he didn't mind. He was used to that sort of thing from Tonks by now.
She forced a nervous twitter of a laugh and agreed. But that wasn't what she wanted to do. She wanted to say something clever and charming and comforting. Something that would make him smile that wonderful smile and make the light in his eyes dance…but all she could think to do was apologize again and again and nervously wring her hands.
Luckily, Harry had enough charity in him to interrupt her ramblings by holding out the white jasmine he'd been carrying.
"Here," he offered shyly. Hermione blushed as she took them, muttering a quick 'thank you' as she breathed in their scent.
"I thought you'd like them," he said lamely, motioning to the flowers.
Hermione nodded weakly. "I do."
"I forgot that you already have plenty of them."
"Oh… but I like them," Hermione replied quickly. "We could always use more. Not that we… um…do need more, that is…" she trailed off, embarrassed. Well done Hermione. She mentally kicked herself.
"How would you…" Harry began. "Harry, do you…" she started.
They both laughed and Hermione said, "Go on, you first."
He suggested that they go for a walk and Hermione nodded with a shy smile.
"What were you going to say?" he asked.
"Oh…um…" she stared blankly into the green pools of his eyes, "Say? Oh…um…well, I can't remember."
"Oh," Harry replied as he tucked his hands in his pockets.
Hermione couldn't tell if it was an impatient gesture or a casual one. She hoped for the latter as they strolled along the sidewalk.
The weather had driven the townsfolk indoors, and the streets were nearly empty. Frost was melting in the small gardens that lined the streets, and the first flowers were starting to bloom in the window boxes. Patches of green grass could be see on the distant hills as the late afternoon sun shined a soft golden glow that turned the brick buildings a pink and copper color. Although she pretended to admire the quiet beauty of the town, inside, Hermione was reeling. She wanted to say something. Anything. But nothing came to her.
This is ridiculous, she sighed. Harry's here. He's right here…Standing right next to you…Say something…Say anything! Do it. Say something now Hermione… go on…
She opened her mouth but nothing came out.
…All right. Fine. Just wait until you think of something…something poetic to say. Of course we'll probably be halfway to London by then…
Silent still, they walked through the empty lanes of Meriton. The muffled sounds of their footsteps and the creaking wheels of distant carriages were the only sounds breaking the noticeable silence between them. They crossed a side street and ended up on a path into the fields surrounding the town. The road curved upward, and soon they found themselves on a beaten path, heading up a grassy hill. Fuzzy bushels of purple sage spouted out from the ground and cheerful yellow daisies bobbed in the breeze. The scene was one of joyful natural splendor, which contrasted greatly with the two nervous young people and the dark clouds overhead.
Harry held her hand, helping her along the rocky terrain. She felt his side brush against hers, the curve of her hand in his…She had to say something…or he had to. They couldn't just keep walking on like this forever, could they?
Her grip on his arm tightened they carefully stepped over the jutting rocks. It was steeper than she realized, and after nearly tripping over an upturned root, he caught her to him in a swift single motion.
Suddenly, she was in his arms again. His hand was at her waist and the other at the small of her back. They were close to each other, very close. He only had to lean forward a few centimeters and his lips would graze her cheek. She could feel her side pressing against his and his hand knotted in the curls at the back of her neck. Startled, she stared up at him and noticed his eyes flicking down to her mouth.
"Harry do you…?" she started.
"Yes?" Harry asked breathlessly as the blush in her cheeks rose.
"Do you…?"
"Well?" He urged her in a tender tone.
"Um…Do you…do you know where we're going?"
"Oh," Harry looked around for the first time. "Um…no. Actually, I was following you."
"Oh…well…I was following you."
"Oh," he echoed.
She wanted to laugh aloud at the phenomenal idiocy that was Hermione Granger.
They awkwardly pulled apart and continued on in silence, trying not to trip over the rocky terrain. She noticed his lips were drawn in a tight frown, and he looked more miserable than ever as they started back down the hill.
Say something…Honestly… You're impossible Hermione…
It was true. She was impossible. She was humbled, she was frightened, she repented, although she hardly knew of what. She needed to talk to him. It couldn't wait another moment. She was sure she was about to do something…something completely insane…she could feel it bubbling up inside her…
She opened her mouth to break the silence. She had to speak, even if it was as mundane as a remark about the weather:
"I love you."
The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She stopped in her tracks and clapped her hand over her mouth. Her face turned a bright pink and her eyes fell to the ground.
Surprised, Harry spun around. Neither of them said a word as he studied her with an unreadable expression.
She opened her mouth to apologize, but the same thing happened again:
"I…I love you Harry."
There it was. The truth. Lying like a dead duck between them.
"I'm sorry…" she went on helplessly, refusing to look at him, furiously backtracking. "I wanted to say how sorry I was about…everything that happened…and I…" she felt the tears welling up in her eyes "…I didn't know you were in London looking for Lavender…I thought…" her voice gave way to a sob as she began wiping the tears from her cheeks "…I don't know what I thought…"
"Hermione…" Harry started towards her, an amazed look on his face. "Did you just say you loved me?"
Harry looked on as she nodded, struggling for something resembling a coherent sentence. When he tried to take another step towards her, she motioned for him to keep his distance.
"No!" Hermione looked up, alarmed. She held her arms out. "…Um… there. Just stay there. That is…um…please stay there. I need to tell you something. Something else besides…um…what I just told you."
She took a few calming breaths and went on, hoping against hope that whatever she was about to say was going to make sense:
"I do…I do love you…" She went on, words pouring out of her mouth like wine out of a drunkard's flask. "Not that I expect that you're still… I mean, obviously you feel something for me, but I would never presume to…um…well, um..."
Taking a breath, she started over again: "…Harry I've been… I've been such a fool. I threw everything we had away because I was angry. Not even angry with you really, but with everyone. Viktor and Lavender and mostly myself. But I didn't…I never thought…I was just so hurt by everything that happened and I blamed you. It was wrong of me. I know that now but…I just…I don't…"
"Hermione," Harry began, a tender note to his voice.
"No, no…please… please let me just say this…" She paused, trying to collect herself as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know how you helped Lavender. Sir Sirius told me everything. And I just…I just wanted to say that I'm incredibly grateful…and…and amazed you would do this for my family."
"I didn't…"
"Oh Harry please don't deny it. I can't believe Sir Sirius would make it up."
He took a small step towards her, as if approaching a timid animal that was ready to run at any moment. "I didn't do anything for your family. I did it for you. Your family, however much as I like them…even Tonks…well…I was only thinking of you. No one else."
A few teardrops fell from her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away. "But why?" she begged. "I…I treated you so badly. Why would you ever want to see me again?"
Harry took another step towards her, but Hermione responded by taking an unsteady step back. She had to finish her awful, incoherent speech, and if he even so much as touched her, she was sure she'd fall to his feet in a helpless pile of sobs.
"When Sir Sirius came here and told me how…how utterly unsuitable we are for each other…I just…I just couldn't believe that. Because we are right for each other. I mean, maybe even perfect…as much as I hate that word. And I don't mean that you're never wrong or that you're not impossibly impulsive… because you are. And I'm pessimistic and cynical and I think the worst of everyone…but I…I missed you so much. Please say you forgive me…I don't know what I'll do if…if I can never see you again…"
Before she could cobble together another incoherent sentence, he caught her hand and pulled her to him. She didn't struggle as he cradled her to his chest.
"I think I'm done talking now," she said miserably as he brushed a stray curl away from her face.
He shook his head fondly. "Poor girl. My poor lovely girl…"
"Oh Harry," she whispered. "M' sorry" she said breathlessly against his shoulder. "It's been so awful…I'm so sorry…I'm sorry. For everything I said and…I didn't…I didn't know…" she held onto him tightly. Her knees buckled and he lifted her to him.
Harry held her to him, kissing her cheeks, her forehead, her lips. "It's all right lovely," he said over and over again as tears streamed from her eyes. Harry kissed them away as they fell. "It's all right, I'm sorry my lovely. Don't cry…"
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…" Hermione said repeated against his lips.
"Don't cry. Please don't cry…"
"I'm so sorry," she murmured absently, her breath hitching in her chest. He kissed her cheeks softly,
tenderly, telling her without words that he understood and that he felt the same way. His hand found the small of her
back, pulling her impossibly closer.
"But Harry...why?" she sighed against his shoulder.
"Why what?" Harry mumbled.
"Why did you help Lavender like that?"
"You know why."
"No I don't…Why did you do that?"
Studying her a moment, Harry didn't answer her.
"Why?" Hermione asked again, her voice trembling as he stared at her.
"Because I'm going to marry you," he said softly. "If you'll have me."
Wondering if it was all a dream, she slowly nodded. It was all she could do at this point.
Without another word, he lifted her head up, gently pressing his mouth to hers. His lips were so sweet and soft and she just wanted to hold onto him tightly and never let go.
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An hour later, they were sitting under an ancient beech tree. Bottle green leaves were just starting to appear on the bare branches, catching the scant sunlight and casting an emerald hue over them. Hermione was cozily curled up in Harry's lap as he traced the curve of her neck with his fingertips and kissed a trail along her jaw, all the while whispering sweet things into her ear.
After one particularly sweet thing, she blushed, and the color finally returned to her ashen complexion. Harry noticed and teased her about how pale she went when she first saw him.
"Well…it was a surprise," she replied, turning an even brighter shade of pink. "You were the last person I thought would be knocking on our front door."
"I just wanted to see you."
"Really?"
He responded by lifting her head back up and captured her lips with his. They explored each other's mouths until she felt dizzy. A groan emanated low in his throat as his hand tangled in her hair. Hermione melted against him, squirming in his lap as light tingles ran up and down her spine.
Hermione pulled away, trying to catch her breath as Harry planted a soft line of kisses down her cheek.
"Harry," Hermione said shyly. "Did you really mean that?"
"Yes."
"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?"
"Nope."
She laughed. "Do you really want to marry me?"
"Yes. Although I wasn't planning on asking you here."
"In Meriton?"
"No…in a field."
Hermione gave a secret smile as his lips brushed against her ear. She told him she couldn't imagine a better place.
"It did end better than the last time," Harry whispered, holding her close as the breeze began to pick up.
"Well, it couldn't have been worse, could it?"
"Yes, but that was your fault. Remember, you were the one who said 'no'."
Hermione chuckled. "I had my reasons."
"And are do those reasons still apply?"
She shook her head, laughing as he kissed her again. After an impossibly long time, she rested her head on his shoulder as she waited for the scenery to stop spinning and for her heart to slow its beat. She still couldn't believe she was here with Harry. They were engaged. In love…It was all so unreal. She could scarcely believe it was happening…Her mind drifted to her family. If she couldn't believe it, they weren't likely to. She wondered how they would react to the news.
Of course Hermione didn't know that her Aunt's maternal feelings would swell with stately pride when she heard that her niece had accepted Harry Potter's proposal. The day Aurora returned from Trune, Hermione followed her up to her room and slowly told her of her engagement to Harry, how they'd fallen in love at Godric's Hollow, and how the chaos that ensued nearly separated them forever. It was an abridged version of the story of course, but all the while, Aurora sat stiffly on her bed, unable to utter a word. At length, Aurora began to recover, to fidget about in her chair and wring her handkerchief in her twisting hands. She asked to see Hermione's emerald ring at least a dozen times. She got up, sat down, got up again, wandered and paced around the room:
Good gracious…Lord bless me! Harry Potter! Who would have thought it? And you of all the girls? It's just unbelievable! And is it really true? Oh my sweetest Hermione! Engaged! My cleverest, loveliest girl…how rich you will be! Lavender's is nothing to it. Nothing! Such a charming man! So handsome…Oh my dearest… And a special license! You must be married by a special license…My dearest Hermione! Two girls married, and I'm sure Luna won't be far behind. Your marrying Harry Potter will throw her in the way of other rich men…like that charming Sir Sirius, who must certainly be coming to dinner now. But my dearest…you must tell me what dish Sir Sirius is most fond of. I'll make sure to order it when he comes to visit.
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Lavender sent a congratulatory letter, which was fairly brief but to the point:
My Dearest Hermione,
I was soooo surprised to get your letter and even more surprised to hear about your engagement to Harry Potter. He's so tall and charming and rich. Do tell him I said hello. It seems ages since I last saw him in London. If you love him half as well as I love dear Viktor, you'll be very very happy. It's a great comfort to have you so happily matched, and to such rich man no less. I've heard he's well connected too. Isn't he related to Sir Sirius and the Malfoys? It's thrilling, isn't it? Having such an influential family. I'm sure Viktor would like a job in the Ministry very much. The military doesn't seem to suit him anymore. Any position would do, of about three or four hundred a year. Oh, I would love to live in London again. Or perhaps Bexhill. They have such wonderful beaches in Bexhill.
Yours truly,
Lavender Krum
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Sirius also sent a congratulatory note. His was even shorter than Lavender's, but far more welcomed, especially after Harry told Hermione about his small part in bringing them together:
Sir Sirius Black
Bangladesh
UP Station
Well done Harry [stop]
I told you I was charming [stop]
Sincerely. Sirius Black [stop]
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Lupin likewise wrote a short note. However brief, he gave some helpful advice to Harry:
Remus Lupin
Darnely
UP Station
Congratulations on the engagement Harry [stop]
I'm glad you two finally worked out your troubles [stop]
Don't let Tonks take Hermione shopping for the wedding clothes [stop]
Sincerely. Remus Lupin [stop]
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Luna didn't act surprised at all. She just smiled in her dreamy but wise way:
"Of course you're engaged to Harry. It took me some time, but that's what I finally realized what the ravens were trying to say."
"Ravens?"
"On the carriage."
"The carriage?" Hermione asked, confused.
"The one with the three ravens on it. You see they brought change with them. The best kind of change. Congratulations Hermione. I know you'll be very happy with Harry." With that Luna folded her in a tight hug.
"Oh…well…thank you…" Hermione muttered, thinking how she could live a hundred years and never understand her sister.
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Tonks seemed more surprised than Luna did, spilling her coffee and dropping her copy of The Quibbler on the breakfast table. She threw her arms around Hermione and squealed excitedly.
"Oh that's great Hermione! I knew it would happen…eventually. Once you both stopped acting like idiots, that is."
"Well …um… thank you. It seems you were right."
"I know I was right. The important thing is that you know that I was right. So when's the wedding? We should
go to Pemberley to buy the wedding clothes. I've had my eye on this emerald eye-patch for Harry…"
"No!… I mean…It's going to be a very small, very traditional ceremony."
"What? No pirates?"
"No pirates, fairies, dung beetles, or whatever other crazy costume you had in mind."
"And I suppose you'll wear a white dress…"
"…With shoes and everything," Hermione finished for her.
"Let's hope Ron doesn't vomit on them."
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Back the meadow, the scenery finally stopped spinning and Hermione was shaken out of her reverie as Harry gently cupped her face. He leaned toward her, the intensity of their feelings unbearable before their lips even touched. And then she felt it, the warm familiar embrace of his lips against hers, lingering softly for what seemed like eternity.
Hermione finally understood what it meant when lovers described seeing fireworks. A glimmer of champagne-colored light danced behind her closed eyes, blinding her with its brilliance. Neither of them realized it was just the final flash of a setting sun disappearing over a distant hillside. But Harry and Hermione's thoughts were miles away as they finally pulled apart and looked into each other's eyes. They smiled a smile of unblemished joy as their thoughts drifted to the future they would have together:
Over the years to come, Sirius's affection for them both would bring him to Godric's Hollow more often than anything else could. His greatest delight would be visiting the happy couple, especially when he was least expected. His attachment to Hermione was exactly what Harry had hoped for, and Hermione had the highest opinion in the world of his godfather. She was endlessly surprised by the odd assortment of books Sirius managed to find for her in the remote corners of the globe. It especially came in handy when Harry and Hermione decided to turn the old tumbledown Hollow into the first public library in the county…
Ron would settle in permanently at The Grange. For months rumors would circulate that he and Luna were engaged, then un-engaged, then eloping, then seeking an annulment of said elopement, etc., etc. Only their close circle of friends knew that the couple was just taking their time, as Luna was unwilling to follow Tonks and Lavender's example of rushing into a hasty marriage. Instead she and Ron had a quiet courtship, with evenings spent on her front porch and long walks through the woods, waiting until a bright winter day to be wed in front of their family and friends…
Lupin and Tonks (Best Man and Matron of Honor at the Potters' wedding) would always be welcomed at Godric's Hollow. Harry and Hermione felt the warmest gratitude to the odd couple, who, by bringing Hermione to Pemberley for a ridiculous Celtic wedding, had been the means of uniting them forever...
But all these things were years to come. For now, she and Harry dreamed of a future anchored in a love that at first had seemed unlikely to take root, but had somehow grown into a true devotion. And so this story ends with much happiness and goodwill. Hopefully, we've all learned a valuable lesson about pride, prejudice, sweaters, cardinal spells, and the other impossibly inconvenient things that make love all the more worthwhile.
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The end.
Epilogue coming soon.
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