Disclaimer: JKR owns.
Safe Harbour
Chapter 13: Welcome to Los Angeles, Welcome.
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Hermione couldn't recall hearing or seeing anything as Harry led them through the halls of St. Elizabeth's and hailed them a cab. Nothing else stuck out in her mind, besides of course, the blinding and numbing pain that was currently engulfing her ever since she signed her name to those two dreadful lines.
Harry glanced across at her out of the corner of his eye. He noticed her hand subconsciously resting against her hidden baby bum. He knew he wouldn't be able to keep it together if he kept looking at her, so he looked away.
The rest of the cab ride had passed in complete silence. Even when they arrived at the airport and headed into the terminal, there was absolutely no communication between them.
Hermione stopped at the ticket-takers counter. Harry had already handed the flight attendant his ticket and had started down the hallway.
"Your ticket miss?" the woman asked her after a few moments.
Harry turned and gave Hermione a probing look, "Hermione?"
She didn't respond for the longest time. Her fingers, clutching onto the ticket, were shaking uncontrollably.
Cautiously, Harry took a step forward, "Hermione, come on."
Harry looked on as Hermione glanced down to her flat stomach, and then up to meet his eyes. He tried to give her a comforting look, but it came off like he was impatiently urging her to come on already.
Hermione gulped once more before lifting up her trembling hand, and giving the ticket to the stewardess.
"Enjoy your flight," she said with a thin smile.
Hermione gaped at her reply before taking a heavy step forward. Harry waited for her to catch up before continuing down the platform.
The dread weighing down on Hermione's body was becoming overbearing as they took their first step onto the plane. Her head was spinning uncontrollably, and she
had to close her eyes more than once to try and stop the unsettling feeling. There was a particular pressure panging in her lower abdomen, but Hermione just passed it off as guilt for what she'd done.
Harry didn't seem aware of Hermione's pain, and tugged her forward with him in search of a place to sit. They walked about ten feet down the crowded isle before Harry stopped and pointed towards a window seat, and the empty seat next to it. He turned back to Hermione for approval but she wasn't paying any attention.
"Come on," he muttered, nodding off to the vacant seats.
When they finally settled in, Hermione was gazing absently out of the small window.
Harry gave her an awkward look before clearing his throat.
"Might as well try and get some sleep."
It wasn't that he was tired- quite the opposite actually. He just wanted an excuse to close his eyes and think. He wasn't sure what he was going to think about. Anything but the hopelessness of his current situation sounded nice.
Hermione didn't acknowledge him in any way, so Harry sighed before closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the seat.
---
Five hours and twenty minutes had passed before the suave voice of the pilot came over the intercom.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now descending into the greater Los Angeles area. As we lose elevation, I'd like to ask for all of you to remain seated with your safety belts on. We'll be landing in LAX shortly. Thank you."
Harry's eyes opened at the end of the pilot's announcement. He looked over to Hermione, still staring absently out of the window, but she seemed completely unaffected by the man's words. Maybe she hadn't even heard him.
"We're almost there Hermione," Harry said quietly.
He was expecting a short nod, but Hermione remained motionless.
Harry reached sideways for her hand, "'Mione?"
Just as his fingers grazed hers, Hermione lifted her hand up to her ear and tucked away a loose strand of hair, "I heard you."
Harry frowned at her behaviour, but didn't comment. He shrugged back into his seat, secretly still looking at her. He always knew that this was going to change them.
From the day he found out she was pregnant-- he knew life would be different. And when the day came that they decided to give up their daughter, in hopes that she would be able to live a better life, he again knew that their lives had changed, for the worse this time.
Even though these terrible things were constantly plaguing them, they had always stuck together. No matter what, they had always dealt with things together.
Hermione was the one who had always made sure of that. But now, Harry felt as if Hermione was slowly slipping from his grasp. Willingly slipping.
It was one of the top two most sickening feelings he had ever experienced. The first- well you could probably guess.
Harry felt the cabin pressure increase a few minutes later, and he figured they were only seconds away from landing.
Hermione sucked in a sharp breath at the new sensation. Harry immediately looked over to her and noticed that she was gripping her flat stomach.
Acting instinctively, Harry put a hand over hers, "What's wrong?"
It took a couple moments and a few deep breaths, but eventually, Hermione shook her head. "Nothing. The pressure… it just took me for a surprise I guess…"
Harry nodded, "Well, we're about to land. Hold on to my hand, because it'll probably get a little rocky."
Hermione did as she was told, and allowed Harry to lace his fingers through hers. She braced her other hand on the seat handle, and tried to remain as calm as possible as the plane's wheels made contact with the landing strip.
It took a few seconds, but eventually the plane settled on the ground and sped off in the direction of the airport terminal.
A few minutes later, Harry and Hermione, along with the rest of the passengers, were collecting their things and getting up from their seats.
Well, more like trying to, for Hermione.
"Here," Harry said, holding out his hand to her as she squirmed in her seat.
Hermione didn't hesitate, but kept the bewildered look on her face as Harry started to pull her up. For some reason, her legs felt like jelly, unable to support anything, much less the weight of her and her baby.
When Harry finally had her up on her feet, Hermione gasped as a sudden stab of pain shot from her midsection, down to her toes and then up through her torso. Her knees buckled, but Harry had a firm grip on her so she only fell into his chest.
"Whoa, you okay?" Harry asked in concern.
Hermione looked up to him blinking, trying to clear the pressure from her lungs so she could talk.
"Y-yes," she finally choked out, but not before a numb, and unfamiliar sensation engulfed her.
Harry shot her a disbelieving look, but didn't want to make a scene. He'd look like a patient of the funny farm if he asked his seemingly un-pregnant girlfriend if 'the baby was okay'.
Harry settled for keeping an extra close eye on her, and didn't let go of her as they started towards the exit of the plane.
"Welcome to Los Angeles," greeted a smiling stewardess as they walked out of the tunnel, and into the actual terminal.
Harry tried to be polite by nodding, but his eyes never left Hermione. In the span of only a few minutes, her face had paled considerably. Her mouth was tightly shut, and her jaw was clenched. Harry could tell she was still in pain by the way her eyes were slightly bulging, yet her eyebrows crinkled.
"Hermione," Harry said, rounding on her and giving her a firm look, "Are you really okay? You look like you're about to pass out…"
Hermione opened her mouth and let out a abrupt breath, "I-I think I just need to go to the bathroom."
Harry frowned. He didn't know what she needed to do in the bathroom, but putting his confusion aside, he wrapped an arm around her waist and helped her to the women's loo off to the side of the open terminal.
"I'll be right here, okay?" Harry muttered as he braced Hermione on her feet at the edge of the ladies' room.
Hermione nodded silently before shuffling inside, using the wall as support so that she wouldn't topple over. Part of the dizziness she was experiencing was because she felt the added weight of her daughter extending nearly a foot away from her seemingly flat body.
Hermione hadn't wanted to tell Harry exactly what she was feeling because she didn't want to freak him out for no reason. In all seriousness, she was probably just getting herself sick over the guilt for what she'd let happen earlier today. Hopefully, she'd just be able to relieve herself by throwing up and then be fine.
However, there was that little burning thought in the back of her head that speculated if her symptoms were an affect of something more serious.
She prayed that everything was okay with her as she locked herself into a stall and collapsed onto the toilet. Finally, she felt free to take the few heavy breaths she had been needing to take. Her head fell into her hands as her panting continued.
Honestly, she was shocked with the pain she was feeling. She never thought guilt could do this to someone, but then again, the acts she had committed were beyond forgivable in her mind. Maybe she deserved this pain…
"AH!" Hermione gasped suddenly. Her jaw immediately clenched, and both hands shot towards her stomach at the new, splitting pain. The pain even pulsed through to her back, so it was impossible to find a comfortable position.
Hermione sucked in a sharp breath as the splitting pain was replaced with pressure building up in her stomach. She gently touched her stomach, below her bellybutton, and found it to be rock hard.
Sirens went off in Hermione's head, and her eyes went wide.
'No… no, it's way too early… these can't be contractions…'
Her breathing became erratic as she panicked over the possibilities. This kind of abdominal pain could only mean one of two things:
Either she was going into labour, or something was wrong. Seriously wrong.
Hermione braced her hands on the side handlebars, and struggled to lift herself up.
As she did, she noticed that her knickers felt damp. She glanced down, but there was no noticeable leakage- meaning her water obviously hadn't broke.
Though, the dampness was unnerving. With trembling fingers, she unbuttoned her jeans and stuck a hand inside to check herself. When she extracted her hand, the colour of her fingers made her heart stop.
A dark red liquid stained her fingertips.
It was blood-- she was bleeding.
Something was terribly wrong.
…
Harry paced frantically out in front of the women's loo. Hermione had been in there for a couple minutes already, and he was about to go in there to see if she was alright. To hell if he cared if anyone saw him.
With a determined sigh, he walked into the hall leading to the loos. Just as he was getting into the open bathroom, Hermione stumbled out of the corner stall.
Harry frowned when he saw Hermione- or more importantly her pregnant stomach protruding from her shirt. Glancing down, he noticed her wand poking out of her jacket pocket.
"Hermione," he warned, stalking forward and concealing her wand. He was just about to give her a lecture on how they couldn't risk being recognized when the blood wiped on Hermione's t-shirt made him freeze.
"H-Hermione?" For the first time, he noticed how white Hermione's face was, and the tears rimming her eyes. She was shaking uncontrollably.
"I-I think s-something's w-wrong…" she mumbled weakly.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked. It was the only thing he could think to say.
"I think something's wrong with the b-baby. I-I'm bleeding…"
Harry shook his head, fighting back the debilitating terror that wanted to consume him at Hermione's shaky words.
"Harry-"
"We need to go to the hospital," he announced suddenly. All of the sudden, nothing mattered to Harry but the health of his daughter. The thought that something might be wrong with her was like a punch in the gut, times ten. Acting incognito, finding their way to the orphanage- none of it mattered right now. They needed to get to the hospital, and they needed to get there fast.
…
As soon as they walked out of the bathroom, people started to take notice of Harry's dishevelled appearance, and Hermione's obvious pregnancy. Little kids would tug on their parents hands and point at Hermione, and then those parents would hurry the kids along to their appropriate terminal. A few snobbish business men caught a sight of the blood, and then turned up their noses at the couple.
Harry could care less about other people- he was trying to find a way out of the stupid airport. He could tell that it hurt Hermione to walk, and that made him in even more of a panic to find a way out.
Harry's head was turning rapidly, and was about to glance off towards the escalators when a woman caught his attention. He recognized the woman as one of the stewardesses on the plane, and froze up as she started walking towards them.
"Are you alright?" she asked Hermione, giving the brunette a concerned look.
"I-I…" Hermione's throat was constricting with the pressure from her stomach, so she only shook her head.
"We think she's going into labour- we need to find a hospital!" Harry told her, staring at the woman like she would turn into an ambulance herself.
"I didn't notice she was pregnant before. How far along is she?" the woman asked, unnerving Harry at how calm she was.
"She's supposed to have another six weeks," Harry answered, still in a frenzy.
The stewardess gave Harry a sharp look, "You're not supposed to travel when they're this pregnant! The elevation and cabin pressure probably induced her labour!"
"It's… t-too early," Hermione got out through clenched teeth as another stabbing pain ripped through her stomach.
"Come on, the exit's this way," the woman said, taking up Hermione's other side so that she and Harry could start walking her in the exit's direction. "They usually keep an ambulance parked out here just in case…"
It took about four minutes for the group to manoeuvre their way to the exit. But sure enough, once they were out in the midnight darkness of L.A., an ambulance was visible, parked in the corner of the parking lot.
The stewardess helped Harry and Hermione to the edge of the curb before hurrying off into the street and knocking on the back of the ambulance door.
Harry watched on, while Hermione struggled to stay conscious. The pressure built up in her body was making it difficult to keep standing. Honestly, she just wanted to collapse, but she knew that that would be the opposite of what her daughter needed.
For her baby's sake, she needed to be strong.
It only took a few seconds, but eventually the EMT who had been talking to the stewardess popped out of the back with a partner, and together they grabbed a gurney. In a hurry, the three ran across the street, and stopped the gurney right in front of a wobbling Hermione.
"What's the problem miss?" asked the first man, coming around to get a good look at Hermione.
"She's bleeding, but her due date isn't for a few more weeks," Harry answered for her, his mind racing as the men took Hermione from him.
He anxiously watched as the EMTs lifted Hermione onto the gurney and set it up so that she wasn't laying flat. Harry's heart stopped as he noticed the massive amount of bloody staining Hermione's jeans.
"What's your name?" asked the second man, shining a small flashlight into Hermione's eyes. Hermione instantly snapped her eyelids close, and turned away from the obtrusive light.
"Hermione," Harry again answered, "Her name's Hermione."
"You're the father?" questioned the first one, checking Hermione's pulse.
"Yeah."
"Alright, we need to get her to the hospital. Cedar Sinai is the closest." Without further comment, the men started to wheel Hermione off towards the ambulance.
Harry gave the stewardess one last helpless, yet eternally grateful, look before running off after them.
…
Harry couldn't recall ever being so scared in his entire life, but as he watched the first paramedic 'assess' Hermione, who looked so pale and lifeless, he knew he'd never be as scared again. Not only was there the fact that something could be wrong with the baby, but something could be wrong with Hermione as well. He didn't want to sound cruel, but that was what really scared him.
He recognized a calm, yet quick voice speaking from the front. Harry glanced forward and noticed the second paramedic, who was expertly speeding through the traffic of fancy black escalades and convertibles. He was calmly relating through a walkie-talkie that there was a young pregnant woman going into premature labour, and that they'd need immediate assistance once they arrived. Estimated time, three minutes.
Those three minutes were the longest Harry had ever experienced in his whole life.
The noise of ambulance's sirens, along with Hermione's panting and the paramedic's coaching all seemed to mix together. Harry's eyes were resting on Hermione's bare stomach, the EMT having lifted it up to get a proper feel of where the pain was. The fake labour they had imitated only hours earlier was like an ironic slap in the face. He didn't know what ulterior power wanted him to feel this type of disparity in life, but he'd gladly die a thousands times over just so that he wouldn't have to be here, in this situation, right now.
He'd willingly set himself on fire, and slowly burn to death if only he didn't have to see the look of immense pain on Hermione's face.
Before he knew it, the ambulance screeched to a halt. The driver paramedic quickly unbuckled and jumped out of the front while the second one stationed in the back with he and Hermione, stood up and started messing with Hermione's gurney.
Harry turned his head backwards as the back doors suddenly opened. He was greeted with the alert faces of a few men in women, all dressed in hospital scrubs, and luckily, all looking ready to help.
"How early is she?" asked a small Asian woman, dressed in a white lab coat. Harry instantly knew she was the actual doctor.
"Six weeks," replied the paramedic, getting behind the gurney and waiting for the residents to reach in and help ease Hermione out of the ambulance. As Hermione was wheeled out and set gently on the ground, the first paramedic and the doctor shared some routine information.
"The baby feels like it's in a weird position. I think when it breached, the cord got wrapped around its neck…"
Harry's stomach plunged at the ominous words. His eyes desperately shot to Hermione, but her eyes were closed and she was panting like she'd just run a marathon.
"Contractions?" probed the doctor, as the group evolving around Hermione started hurrying in the direction of the ER.
"They were a few minutes apart when we first got to her, but now there coming in intervals of merely seconds.
The doctor cursed under her breath, and then looked up to Hermione, "Miss, can you hear me alright?"
Hermione opened one feeble eye and put all of her strength into nodding.
"My name's Dr. Chan. I'm the resident ER surgeon at the hospital."
"M-My baby…"
"Miss, I can't tell how your baby's doing right now. It's very possible that the cord could be wrapped around its neck and cutting off air supply. Because of the excessive bleeding and contractions, I'm not going to be able to give you any pain medicine. We have to get your baby out now. Do you understand?"
"Harry…" she moaned, her eyes rolling back into their sockets as another contraction hit her.
Harry instantly rushed forward, "I'm here Hermione." He wanted to reach out and grab her hand, but the stupid paramedics were blocking him on both sides.
Dr. Chan gave Harry a wary look, "You're the father?"
"Yes!" Harry answered, starting to get frustrated that people would even bother with
those stupid questions when Hermione was moaning in severe pain.
The doctor nodded, "You're allowed in the room, if you want to be there."
Harry could practically feel the increase of his heart beat. "Of course," he answered automatically.
"Right this way."
As they came through the sliding glass doors, the medical team stopped in the corner of the open white room. They muttered a series of frantic instructions, none of which Harry figured out, before they grabbed Hermione on all sides and swiftly switched her over to another hospital gurney.
"Curtain six is available!" announced one of the nurses at the front of the pack. Harry didn't notice the paramedics fade away behind them as he rushed along with the nurses and Dr. Chan past some doors and into another open area, lined with curtained rooms.
…
Hermione wasn't aware of anything happening around her. All her mind could focus on was the burning pain in her lower regions. The sickening sensation from all of the heavy breathing made her feel like she was about to throw up. Her eyes were cracked open, only enough to get a limited view of things. She saw a lot of the white tiled floors, and the blue scrubs of the people leading her gurney. However, she didn't notice any sign of Harry.
She remembered thinking of saying Harry's name, but couldn't remember if she had actually spoken. She tried to open her cracked lips to get Harry's name out, but her parched throat was refusing to let any coherent words out.
Harry thought he heard Hermione mumble something as they whisked her past the sixth curtain, and swung her gurney around so that she was facing the opposite wall of the room.
He tried to get a decent view of her face, but once again, the crowd of medical staff was swarming his view.
"Hermione, all we can do right now is give you some oxygen to relieve the strain on your lungs. Other than that, there's nothing else we can do until after the baby's out," Dr. Chan told her calmly, as Hermione laid, trembling and scared, on the hospital bed.
"Does anyone have the scissors?" asked one of the male interns.
Harry frowned, "Scissors?"
"We need to cut her pants off to see how far dilated she is," Dr. Chan informed him.
Harry shot Hermione a worried look, but her intensely pained gaze was focused directly at the ceiling. He took a deep breath as the nurses finally found the scissors, and pushed his way through the barrier of people, until he finally got to Hermione's side.
"Hermione," Harry mumbled, grabbing her hand.
"S-scared," was all she could get out before another girl forced an oxygen cup onto her mouth.
"Take a deep breath," the woman said.
Hermione tried to breathe as evenly as possible, but it got a little shaky at the end. When she breathed out, she found the new source of air quite a relief from the pressure on her lungs.
Harry heard a snipping sound, and when he looked down he saw the intern cutting his way up Hermione's jeans, while another one took off her shoes. Another nurse threw a blanket over Hermione from the waist down, before the others slid off her ruined jeans and knickers.
Harry saw Dr. Chan, with a cap already tied to her head, put on a white surgical mask and then hold her hands out so that one of the nurses could put gloves on her.
"She's already ten centimetres dilated," declared the dark haired male intern.
Harry's eyes darted down to Hermione's at the announcement. Even though her eyes were more open with the new assistance of the oxygen mask, it only further showed how terrified she was. All she could focus on was the fact that her baby was in trouble. She couldn't wrap her head around anything but that.
With trembling hands, Harry watched as she moved them to rest over her hard, swollen stomach. His eyes locked onto the gesture, and at that point the numbness finally overcame him. Was this it? Would today be the day that he lost his daughter?
"On the count of three, I need a good push, okay Hermione?" said Dr. Chan loudly, now perched in the middle of Hermione's hiked legs.
Hermione didn't bother answering, she just curled her hands into fists to try and prepare for the inevitable pain.
"One, two, THREE!"
Hermione's head fell back hard, and her teeth clenched as she pushed with every feasible muscle in her body. The new pain tearing apart her lower abdomen and pelvis was nothing compared to the pain earlier. It seemed like mere discomfort to this new agonizing sensation.
"Good, good, another one!" Dr. Chan called eagerly.
The screams finally broke through Harry's dazed perception. He looked up to Hermione and noticed the look of torture on her face. Not knowing what else to do, Harry reached forward and grabbed one of her clenched hands. He knew he was supposed to be encouraging her on, whispering sweet nothings into her ear, like any other soon-to-be father would. But right now he felt like he had no voice.
"You're doing great Hermione- I can see the head!"
Despite the dread, both Harry and Hermione's hearts fluttered at the doctor's words.
Harry gripped her hand once more as Dr. Chan told her to continue pushing.
"Almost there Hermione, just a few more before you can meet your baby!"
Even though those words were like a hard punch in the face, Hermione did as she was told. She bit down on her lip and pushed once more, trying to ignore the intense pain.
"Just a little more!"
Hermione's eyes lolled back into her head. She'd never been that strong… she didn't know how much more of this she could take.
'You can't even birth your baby. Good thing your not keeping her, because you'd be a terrible mother…'
Hermione's eyes snapped open at her own harsh thought.
'No… I'd be a good mum. It just hurts…'
The voice scoffed in her head, 'I'm sure Kirsten Cooper would be able to do a little pushing.'
Hermione's eyes narrowed heatedly. What was the voice trying to imply? That Kirsten Cooper was super-mum while she was just a pile of shit?
She'd had enough with her own malicious taunting. She had to prove that she could do something for her baby. She had to be strong for her daughter.
Blocking out the background noise, Hermione screwed her eyes shut and pushed as hard as she could've ever expected herself to.
"That's it, that's it!" Dr. Chan chanted. It felt like a boulder was moving through and out of her pelvis, and suddenly… emptiness.
Hermione's eyes immediately snapped open, expecting to hear the shrill cries of her baby girl. However, there was no such noise. Only a faint scuttling of feet, and a heated conversation between Dr. Chan and her staff. Hermione lifted herself up on her elbows and strained to hear what they were talking about, or maybe even get a glimpse of her baby, but the blue scrubs blocked her view at all angles, and the medical terms were proving too quick to follow. Something about the umbilical cord…
"Harry…" Hermione whispered helplessly, tears starting to blur her view. Why wasn't the baby crying?
Harry's face was chalk white. Ever since Dr. Chan's calls of victory, he had removed his gaze from Hermione and had started looking down, past the blanket, and past the nurse standing close to his right side, to see his daughter. A smile had started to spread over his lips as he saw one of his baby's hands, lightly curled into a fist. His
anticipation grew as he caught sight of her chest and stomach.
However, his smile disappeared when he saw Dr. Chan's hands concentrated on something around the baby's neck. His heart stopped as he looked into the purple, and dead looking face of his daughter.
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