Chapter III: Ex · es
Song: Your Ex-Lover is Dead by Stars
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God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across pont champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...
"Oh, James?" she squeaked in surprise when she saw him leaning on the wall of the lift she had been about to enter, only to pause, in her great state of shock, right between the doors.
He smirked. "You may want to decide if you want to come in, or not. Don't want to confuse the lift and all."
She smiled weakly and he couldn't help but scowl when he noted that the longer she was in his presence the more this odd green tint grew on her face. She timidly walked into the lift, almost as if trying to calculate which path she could take to be the farthest away possible from him.
"I don't bite, you know," he told her, watching her wish bemused eyes.
She couldn't contain her laugh at that one. "Now you and I both know that, that's not entirely true, James."
He chuckled. "True, but that's only if you ask real nicely… You look good, Lils.
She smiled at him awkwardly, so clearly unsure as to how to react to such a situation. It was all so foreign, people didn't generally partake in small talk with exes, at least not willingly. They either remained mates, or avoided each other like the plague, and the two of them had been rather fantastic at the latter, so why stop what so clearly worked for them anyway?
"How've you been, James?"
He shrugged. "Many, many reports to fill with all the cases Sirius and I've been taking on as of late, but other than that I'm enjoying it... I've always wanted to be an Auror, you know that."
She nodded. "That's… good…"
It was his turn to nod at that. "I-I heard about you and Diggory."
Head snapping up, eyes widening, jaw slacking, she stared at him in shock. He'd actually addressed it, the fucking bastard had no shame, she grimly thought to herself. "He's great. When we were in school things got mucked up, yeah, but now… Time to grow, you know? We've both gotten to a point where being together is just really good."
He gritted his teeth. "Really? I would have thought that with quidditch being his priority and all you'd have trouble finding topics to discuss."
"Nope… In fact he gave me a whole new appreciation for the sport-oh, look at that! Well, this is my floor… Have a nice life, James."
He watched as she flocked off, letting out a deep breath as she sashayed down the hallway of the hospital, and he couldn't help but curse her for always being one to stand up to a challenge. He really hadn't wanted to hear about how happy she and Amos were. He gritted his teeth in determination as he made a last minute choice and threw his arm between the closing doors of the lift, causing them to open, before steely making his way down the same path she had practically ran down only a minute before him.
"Lily," he called after her once he finally regained sight of her, but the yell didn't have quite the effect he'd intended as it only compelled her to run, luckily for him, however, she had always been a klutz in those heels of hers and with three steps she tripped over her own feet.
"I just want to talk," he told her as he helped her up, proffering a hand that she begrudgingly took, he suspected she only even bothered since she was desperate and he was causing a scene in the middle of the halls of St. Mungo's. "Just talk to me. We can even have lunch in the cafe here so you'll have the advantage of neutral territory," he promised her, sending her one of those patented smiles that always allowed him to get his way with anyone. It was one that had taken years of practice to truly perfect.
She sighed biting her lip, and he could easily tell that she was making a pro and con list over her options in her head. "It's just lunch," he reasoned.
"If it's just lunch then it shouldn't be such a big deal if I say no," she gruffly told him, whipping her hand out of his which had still been clutching it, unbeknownst to either of them prior to that moment.
"We did a good job of avoiding one another before this, I don't see why we cant just go back to the way things were," she furtively whispered to him, sending a measured glare his way that really made him wonder what his fate would have been had looks been able to kill. Scary.
He shrugged helplessly, "I've missed you."
"And I've moved on," she immediately retorted, reaching ends wit when he uttered those words after having been the bastard to end it so he could fuck every slag he met. "It was your choice to end things, not mine, James. But just because you were the one to break it off doesn't mean that I spent the last two years pining after you. I have better things to do as well as better people to do them with."
He winced, ouch. "Now that's not very nice," he weakly tutted her.
"Ugh!" she groaned in disgust, throwing her arms in the air in defeat. "You can't always make everything into a blasted joke, James; some things actually are serious, like when you hurt people or bother them for absolutely no reason. Just-just leave me alone!" she cried, pushing him out of her path, storming down the path towards wherever the bloody hell it was that she needed to go, and James was having none of it.
"I made a mistake, okay?" he called after her, right on her tail-a fact that he sorely regretted when she stopped suddenly, leaving him with no option but to run into her as he noticed much too late.
"Wha-wh-what?" she stuttered as she stumbled slightly when he came into contact with her back, but she didn't seem to care about the collision in the slightest.
"I made a mistake," he told her. "And-and I'm sorry I hurt you. I get that I lost my chance, okay? I-I just miss you, and I was hoping I could at least have a shot at friendship," he admitted with a small shrug as she turned around to face him, eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement as she took a noticeable gulp.
She let out a deep breath, bringing a hand up to her head, rubbing her temples as she closed her eyes. "I don't know what to say to you, James," she slowly told him. "After everything that's happened with us I doubt that I even want to be friends with you. It's-it's just not us, and... and you hurt me, you really hurt me when you just got up and left one day without the slightest bit of indication that you weren't happy before that. I can't deal with having someone that I'm not sure if I can trust in my life. I don't need that."
"Just give me a chance," he persisted. "Give me a chance to prove myself, we can take it slow."
She let out a deep breath, groaning lightly. "Don't-don't make me regret this, James, not again."
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
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author's note: so sorry for not posting earlier, I actually thought I already put this up here [oops!]
Please review!
and, special thanks to my wonderful betas gitgit and LunaBella 006.
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