Chapter VIII: The New-Old
and the Old-New
Song: Time Can Never Kill the True Heart by Stars
--
One step closer to the sea wall
Looking down, you can see all
Hold my hand so you don't fall
Catch your breath as the gulls call
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
"You're bad," she announced as she made her way into his office.
He put down the file that had previously been blocking his face, smirk plastered onto his face. "I told you to be prepared," he reminded her, eyes twinkling with amusement and mischief.
She laughed, dropping the album onto his desk. "So Harry and Jillian, huh?"
He shrugged. "I had this really cool uncle named Harry, he taught Sirius and I how to play quidditch, actually…"
She nodded, smiling. "And Jillian?"
"Oh she's purely strategically named."
Lily laughed, cocking her head to the side. "Oh, really?"
"Well yeah, let's see, there's Jilly-Billy, Jelly-Bean-"
"You mean to tell me that you came up with that name solely for the nicknames?"
He shrugged, grinning. "I did say it was a strategic move, didn't I?"
She shook her head, chuckling. "James…"
"You liked it, right?"
"Well it was certainly unexpected," she admitted.
A flash of insecurity struck him, his expression quickly turning to one of worry as his eyebrows furrowed and wrinkles formed on his forehead. "You liked it, though, right?" he repeated, that time far less securely and cockily as previously.
Lily sent him a soft smile, nodding her head-much to his relief. "Yeah, I really did."
"I meant it you know… I really did imagine it, maybe not as intensely as it was drawn out there, but the notions come once or twice."
"It was-I… I appreciate it, honestly," she assured him.
"Good," he announced. "I'm glad… and chance that appreciation extends to allotting me a chance to take you out for dinner this Friday?"
She shook her head. "It appreciate it, James, but I'm not dense… you want me back you're going to have to do a hell of a lot more than just that. It's a big first step, but it's only the first one, love," she told him before getting up. "I'll see you around," she promised him, exiting the office.
--
Last mile in the pale light
Take me home with you tonight
We'll touch 'til it feels right
You won't say "love" but I might
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
"Amos… we need to talk," Lily announced as the two of them sat in her dining room, eating some curry she had picked up for them on her way home.
"Yeah, love?" he brightly smiled her way.
She sighed, he really was such a sweet bloke, it was a shame he'd become entangled in her and James's mess, he didn't deserve that in the least. "I…" she paused, sighing. "Friday night, when we were at the bar and I left, it… it was to talk to James."
Amos's stare became hard immediately. "Potter?" he checked through gritted teeth.
Lily nodded mutely.
"Why?"
Eyes shamefully downcast Lily admitted: "I wanted to talk about our breakup."
"And?"
"And he's wooing me again…"
"And?"
She looked up at him, her heart breaking at the sight of him. With his jaw clenched and hard stare she could still see the under layer of hurt, as if he knew what was coming next. "And I think you'd be better off not with me as he tries."
"So you're going to accept?"
She nodded slowly. "I'll make him go through hell first, but… but I love him, Amos."
"I thought you love me."
"I do," she assured him. "But James…"
"I get," he harshly stopped her, hurt no longer even hidden. "It's Lily and James, the epic couple… I get it…"
"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking as her eyes welled up with tears. "I never meant to hurt you; I honestly thought you could be the one…"
That announcement took him by surprise. "Honestly?"
"Yeah," she breathed. "After James, it was so hard for me to get back on my feet, but then I reconnected with you and everything just fell into place, I felt safe and strong with you… you were-are amazing. Not once did I even think of him while I was with you, not until he came back."
Amos smiled sadly. "I know it may make sound like a total arse, but that does help a bit, makes it hurt a little less…"
"Really?" she asked, hopefully.
"Yeah, I mean you can't fight fate, that's what you always say, right?"
"I thought you always said that was total crap?" she grinned.
He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe I was wrong, too cynical… whatever. Just-just don't let him hurt you again, Lils, you deserve better than that pain."
"I won't, like I said: hell and back."
He chuckled. "But, seriously, if he does, come to me, I reserve the right to pulverize him; I mean he did make me lose you."
"Deal."
"Right," he nodded, getting up slowly. "I'm just going to go…"
She nodded, walking with him towards the door. Just as Amos was about to exit though, she stilled the door. "Amos?"
He turned back to her, expression perplexed. "Yeah?"
"I… I know I'm pushing it, but is there any chance that maybe…"
"Maybe?" he repeated.
"Maybe we can be friends after this? I really love you; I'd hate to lose you from my life."
He paused, but after a minute or so he finally spoke, quietly: "I'll need time."
Lily beamed. "But there's a chance?"
"Yeah, I'd like it too… I just need time…"
"You just… you contact me when you're ready, I'll wait, I'll give you all the space you need, no pushing!" she eagerly promised.
"Thank you."
She scoffed. "For what?"
"For telling me about James before anything happened," he told her with a small smile before leaving.
--
Made love and you muttered, "we're through"
One heart but the mind was in two
One half filled with the dreams of a saint
The other filled with nothing but hate
I hope I die in the arms of a child
In a meadow where the thistles grow wild
`you're fucked,' Alice haughtily announced.
"And why the hell am I fucked?" Lily asked, rather huffily.
"Because you're an idiot," Alice screeched, gaining quite a bit of attention from the other patrons of the bar where the pair were enjoying a lunch of an astronomically large portion of chips.
Lily gasped. "No, I'm not!"
"Yeah you are," Alice retorted immediately. "You lost your edge!"
"My edge?" Lily asked disbelievingly, popping a chip into her mouth.
"Yes, I mean you had it all going for you, you had the upper hand here!"
"How so?" Lily asked, more so to appease Alice than out of any interest in the surely faulty reasoning for her suppose mistake. The girl really was a nutter.
Alice squinted at her oddly, leaving Lily a bit disconcerted as she couldn't help, but wonder if she had some terrible grease stains all over her face or something equally grotesque and unattractive. "Are you stupid?"
Apparently her worries were futile.
"No," Lily quickly replied, saving no time to think.
"Ugh," Alice groaned, quickly growing frustrated with Lily's nonplused attitude. "You had everything, Lils-you'd showed him you'd moved on by having Amos, and you could show him that he really needs to fight for you."
"I don't want to use Amos."
"Oh, why do you have to be so nice? It's really unbecoming," Alice groaned, slamming her head unto the table.
"That looks like it hurt," Lily quipped.
Alice brought her head up, a deep glare and cowl etched unto her face. "Shut up."
Lily laughed. "No need to be so bitter, love… and I want him, I can't deny that, Alice. There's no doubt in my mind that I do want him back, we were good together and I miss him. I'm not about to string Amos along if there's really no doubt in my mind that it won't last; he's a nice bloke, better to me than James ever was, he deserves better than that."
"Still!" Alice moaned.
Lily smiled, consolingly patting her mate's hand. "I know, sweets."
"But… umgph…"
"I'm still going to make him go through hell and back," Lily reassured her.
Alice let out a large puff of air. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again, Lils… and… well, with James, your chances of it are a lot higher, especially if you don't keep your upper hand."
"It can't always be a battle over power though," Lily argued.
Alice shrugged. "It shouldn't be, I'll admit… but I just don't want your heart broken, I still think he's a bastard."
Lily paused, nervously biting her lower lip. "Do you…" she paused, "do you think there's no chance that he's changed?"
Alice shrugged. "He may have, I don't know. All I know is that I saw you fall apart last time, and I don't want it to happen again, you deserve better than that…"
Lily smiled. "I love him, you know?"
"I know," Alice nodded. "It just worried me that you may love him more than he does you. Last time, you thought he was as committed as you were, we all did, and look at where that led you towards the end. You were miserable, you resented him…"
"But things have changed, haven't they?"
"I don't know," Alice responded, honestly. "You've always been strong in terms of everything, but your heart. Just… be careful with him. don't get ahead of yourself now, don't tell yourself you're going to make him go through hell and back only to stop halfway through that route simple because you love him so much that you can't bear to punish him anymore."
Lily nodded, her face contemplative.
"Just…" Alice paused with a sigh, clenching her jaw as she scrutinized her best friend. "Just don't be a pussy… make him pussy whipped."
Lily choked on air upon hearing that pronouncement. "Alice!"
"What?" Alice asked with a faux-innocent, impish smile.
--
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
One heart out of two
One life: me and you
--
author's note: a quick update in an attempt to make up for the incredibly long wait for the last chapter, hopefully this did a good job of it.
Please review!
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