Disclaimer: JKR owns.
A Late Night Visit
Chapter 6: Captain Brood
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Hermione was in her room, packing a few books in her trunk when Harry knocked gently on the door. She instantly recognized the knock, and didn't turn around or give him any instructions to come in. She just kept packing.
"Hey," Harry said, a nervous edge to his voice. This was the first time that Hermione made him feel nervous in… well, a very long time.
"Hey," she greeted back.
He came in closer, "Um, we're leaving pretty soon. Are you sure you don't want to come with us? And then from the Weasley's you can just apparate home?"
Hermione shook her head, "No, I promised my parents I would meet them at the train station."
"Alright," he said disappointedly. She wasn't giving him any emotion to go off of, and it was starting to really worry him. "Do you want me to walk with you to the train station?"
"I don't know if that's such a good idea. It'd probably be better if I just went myself."
His jaw tightened. It was obvious she was ignoring him, "Well, I'll miss you."
Hermione's back went rigid. Harry watched as she sighed and tucked some hair behind her ear, then nodded.
Alright, that's it. With a few strides Harry was standing right behind her, his chest pressed against Hermione's shoulder. "I'm not letting us leave like this, Hermione."
"What are you on about?" she asked innocently, zipping up a duffel bag and shrinking it. She was more effected by the close proximity than she let on.
"You've been ignoring me all bloody day. If I did something wrong just tell me so I can fix it," he practically pled with her. He wanted to reach out, maybe wrap his arm around her waist and draw her closer, but right now it felt inappropriate.
"You haven't done anything Harry- that's just it." She slammed her trunk close as Harry stared despondently at her.
"Is this more about last night?"
"I don't know," she sighed, tucking more hair behind her ear. She finally turned to face him. Harry immediately took notice to the red rims around her eyes and felt terrible. She was upset and it was all because of him. "Honestly, I feel like I'm worrying so much over something that's not even going anywhere."
Harry narrowed his eyes, feeling like he had been slapped. "Do you think that because you don't love me?" he asked coolly.
"Harry we both know the feelings are there. The problem is that we have to hide them. I can't do that forever."
"I'm not saying we have to do it forever!" Harry quickly objected.
Hermione shook her head, "Don't you see though? There will never be a perfect time for us to come out as a couple."
She gave him an imploring look, hoping that he would understand. Harry didn't break the eye contact, but didn't look like he was perceiving, "What do you want from me?"
"I shouldn't have to answer that, Harry," she muttered sadly.
Harry looked away, pain, frustration, and anxiousness evident in his features.
Hermione's shoulders slumped slightly. She wasn't trying to make him feel this way, but she didn't feel like she could give in on the topic either. It was either this or nothing for them. Hermione inched forward, a gentler look on her face, "Look," she smoothed down his already smooth shirt, "let's just take these next two weeks to figure out what we really want. See if this is really worth it."
"I don't need two weeks to tell you that I want you," Harry muttered stubbornly, giving her a hard look.
Hermione glanced away and shrugged, "Actions speak louder than words, Harry. And you know, whatever comes from this, you know I'll always love you."
Harry tensed. Why was she making it sound like she had already made up her mind? "Hermione, don't-"
"Attention students. Attention students. The final carriages are leaving for Hogsmeade Station. All students who are planning on taking the Hogwarts Express to Kings Cross, please make your way down to the Great Hall immediately. Happy Holidays."
"I got to go," Hermione said, still looking at him.
Harry stared hard at his feet, not knowing what he could possibly say to her at this moment. Damn it, why didn't Sirius teach me how to deal with girls before he died?
Hermione caught him by surprise when she leaned up and pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. His eyes shot open, and the shut again as he started to kiss her back. He was just about to deepen it when she pulled away.
"Happy Christmas, Harry," she whispered, before turning and grabbing her shrunken trunk from her bed. She left the room relevantly fast, not even sparing Harry a second glance. He watched her go all the way until she disappeared through the portrait hole.
…
The Burrow a few days later…
…
Harry laid wide awake in his bed, up in Ron's tiny room. He had been staring up at the ceiling for the past hour, counting the mildew stains that have accrued over the years. A single knock on the door interrupted Harry's counting.
"Breakfast!" Ron announced, walking into the room. He stopped short when he noticed Harry still in bed, "Whoa, are you still sick mate?"
"Yeah," Harry replied, his voice hoarse. He hadn't done much talking since they left Hogwarts.
"You should really let Mum make you a pepper up potion or something. You look like you're getting worse," Ron told him with a wrinkled nose.
"Nah, it'll wear off soon."
"Are you sure?" Ron carried on, unconvinced, "Aren't you getting sick of staying up here by yourself all day? Even George is starting to miss your ugly mug." The joke was half hearted, because it was based off the fact that George didn't do much talking any more either. Harry didn't even think George noticed that he was here.
"I'm sure. I might be contagious or something," Harry tried again, hoping his friend would leave him alone.
Ron shook his head, "I've been sleeping in the same room as you and I feel great."
Harry sighed and rolled over, "Cool. Go eat, Ron."
There wasn't any sound indicating that Ron had heeded his advice. And sure enough, a few seconds later the red head spoke, "Is it Ginny?"
"What?!" Harry sat up with an incredulous look fusing with his features. He must have heard Ron wrong…
"Is it Ginny?" Ron repeated, "Is that the reason you've secluded yourself up here? To avoid her?"
Harry scoffed, "That's completely ridiculous."
The two boys stared at each other for a few moments before Ron let out a loud laugh, "Mate, you sounded just like Hermione right then!"
As Ron continued to giggle, a muscle in Harry's stomach clenched. He rolled back over, "Go away, Ron."
Ron stopped chuckling but a smile still remained, "Alright… you know, Ginny-"
"It's not Ginny, Ron! I'm sick!"
"I'm just saying," he continued grinning. It was obvious how much he enjoyed to torture the ones he loved, "I could have her come up here and tell-"
"No!" Harry groaned, "Don't send her up here! I'm fine."
"But I thought you said you were sick?" Ron smirked.
Harry pulled his pillow over his face, not caring that he looked like he was five by doing so. Ron really had no clue. That was only going to make the hard realization that he truly didn't have any feelings for Ginny anymore, that much harder.
"We could all have breakfast in bed, if you like Harry-"
"Alright, I'm coming you nosy prat."
"Yes! See, I knew you'd see reason," he grinned triumphantly.
Harry sat up and swung his legs over the side of his bed, "Shut up Ron, you seriously don't know what you're talking about."
Again, Ron took Harry's frustration the wrong way and snickered winningly. Harry pulled a hand over his face, not even wanting to think about the questions that must be awaiting him from his foster family. With yet another sigh, he got up and started putting on some fresh clothes.
…
"Well I'll be… if it isn't Harry Potter," Charlie announced smiling, as Harry and Ron got down to the kitchen. The rest of the table instantly looked up, "Did you decide to finally grace us with your presence Harry, or is Ron's stench finally getting to you up there?"
Harry smiled back, "A little bit of both, actually."
"Oi!" Ron sounded, two biscuits already stuffed in his mouth.
Charlie rolled his eyes at his little brother and stuck his hand out to Harry, "It's good to see you mate."
"You too, Charlie," he said shaking his hand. Maybe it was a good idea that he came down to breakfast. He'd miss the Weasley mealtimes. It was great that no matter what was going on in the family, they still respected getting together to eat breakfast like this. It made him happy that he was considered a part of this family. As he continued to look around and greet everyone, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Bill with his pregnant Fleur, George, Ginny, and even Percy and Penelope, he sadly realized that two people were missing in this ideal family. That made Harry's mood drop again.
"So are you feeling better, Harry?" asked Mrs. Weasley, maybe noticing his sudden change of expression.
"Uh, yeah a bit."
"Well get some protein in you, and if your not feeling better by lunch I'll give you a pepper up potion to take," she said sweetly, motherly. How could this woman have bounced back from her son's death so fast? It was marveling to him. Here this family had suffered a loss and was going on with life while Harry had laid up in bed, acting sick and depressed over the possibility that his girlfriend might dump him.
He felt so childish.
"You want to go Harry?" asked Ron's voice.
"Huh?"
The Weasley boys looked at him oddly. Bill finally answered him, "Ice fishing. Up at the pond? You in?"
"Oh, uh…" he didn't want to go. Even with his previous consideration, he still felt like he wanted to be alone. "Actually…"
"If Harry's just getting over being sick, then he shouldn't be outdoors on a snowy day," Ginny interjected from the end of the table.
Harry shot her a grateful look, "Sorry guys. I'd hate to ruin your day just because I don't feel well. You should go though. Catch some fish," he sent them his best apologetic, yet enthusiastic smile he could muster. It worked because they all shrugged and then started making their plans. George, Harry noticed, looked like he'd rather sit today out also.
However, to Harry's great annoyance, he also noticed Ron shooting a suggestive look between both him and Ginny. In return, he got two dark glares from them both.
…
Harry was up in Ron's room once again, laying down in bed. He was currently wondering if he would look too desperate and stupid if he wrote Hermione an apology letter. Would that make her more disappointed with him? Or would the thought that he was trying, make her happier with him? Harry sighed, reliving Hermione's sad voice in his head: 'Actions speak louder than words, Harry.'
There was a knock at the door, softer than Ron's, so Harry assumed it was Mrs. Weasley waiting behind it.
"I'm feeling a little better Mrs. Weasley. I was just going to try and take a kip…"
Harry frowned at the chuckle behind the door. It opened, and Ginny came into the room.
"Alright Captain Brood, why are you up here pretending to be sick? What's up with you?"
Harry still tried to lie as Ginny turned and shut the door, "Nothing, I'm just feeling a little ill."
Ginny raised an eyebrow, "Sure… everything okay with you and Hermione?"
Harry was going to lie again, but with the look Ginny was giving him he didn't think he'd be able to get away with it. He sighed, relenting that it might be better to get a girl's perspective, "No, everything's not okay. We sort of had a fight before we left."
"I think I can guess about what," Ginny replied.
Harry sat up while shaking his head, the words now spilling out of him, "She started going off and saying we should take some time to think about if our secret is really worth it- confusing the bloody hell out of me- and then she just left and I haven't heard from her since!"
Ginny gave him a somewhat pathetic, pitying look, "Okay, number one- calm down. She's actually making a really good point."
"Bloody girls, always sticking together…" Harry grumbled.
"Yes, we do. Number two- do you love her?"
"Yes," Harry answered automatically. That was easier to say to Ginny than he'd imagined.
Ginny waved her hand in an obvious manner, "Then be with her."
Harry looked away unsure, "But what if she doesn't want me anymore. What if all of this was her plan to let me go easily…"
Ginny rolled her eyes, "Trust me, she wants you. All she wants is to know that you're willing to do anything to actually be with her. Come on Harry, that's not too much to ask."
"So in other words, tell about us," he answered for himself, still staring off into a corner of Ron's room.
"Harry, I understand why you guys didn't tell me and why you haven't told Ron. But honestly, you can't live your life based on other people. Once in a while you need to be a little selfish and take what you want," she finished more quietly, as if they weren't only talking about him and Hermione anymore.
Harry sighed, "That's not the only reason I don't want to tell," he revealed, making Ginny frown and cock her head to the side.
"What other reason would there be?"
"Just…" Harry glanced up at her finally, wondering if he had the courage to tell Ginny, of all people, the real reasons. Hell, he has to tell someone… "Look, if we tell then word will spread and everyone will know. The media will find out and blow it up into this huge thing-"
"You're scared of being put in the papers?" Ginny scowled.
"No, I'm scared of who might read them. If my enemies found out about her… she'd be the perfect target to get revenge on me," he ended putting his head in his hands.
Ginny snorted and shook her head, "So cliché…"
Harry looked up, "Huh?"
This time, she rolled her eyes, "Cut the shit, Harry. You don't think Hermione's practically been a target since you two met? Eight years and one war later and she's still by your side."
Harry glowered at her, "I know all that. It still doesn't calm me down."
Ginny shrugged, conceding, "Yeah I guess it wouldn't… Damn, can anything ever be simple with you?"
"Don't I wish," Harry said, sending her an amused grin.
Ginny smiled back at him but stayed quiet for a few seconds after. Finally she shifted and gave him a genuine look of concern, "Harry, if you love her like you say you do then you'll make the right choice. But don't let anyone, even me, influence your decision. Please, for once, ask yourself what you want."
Harry sat silently for a moment, taking in her wise words. After a few more seconds he smiled, "Thanks Ginny. I'm happy we can be friends again after everything."
"Yeah me too. I'll see you later?"
"Yeah…" If I'm not dead. Harry had made up his mind, and at this point he was set on following through with his plans. Ginny convinced him, that no matter how hurt Ron got, it wasn't worth loosing Hermione over.
Ginny nodded and added over her shoulder as she was leaving, "And don't worry about acting sick. My mum went with the boys today, so it's just me, you, Penelope, and Phlegm."
Harry smiled at the disgust laced in her voice when saying the last name, "I thought you had gotten over that name by now?"
Ginny gave him a scary serious look, "No."
"See ya," Harry laughed.
Ginny waved and then shut the door behind her. Once he was alone again, he laid back on the bed, his hands raking their way through his hair. Tonight. He had to do it tonight. But how? How could he go into this conversation, knowing that it could possibly be the end of their friendship? He remembered when they were fighting during fourth year. The tension those few weeks caused were miserable. And that was only over Ron thinking that Harry had put his name in the Goblet of Fire.
This time it was over Hermione. Not just a girl, but Hermione. Their best friend, Hermione. The girl that Ron still had feelings for, and Harry's current girlfriend; the love of his life, really.
Thinking about her soft hair, and gorgeous eyes made him a little more courageous. But he still had a deep, sinking feeling that the tension caused from their upcoming conversation would last much, much longer than a few weeks.
But if it was over keeping Hermione, then he'd gladly take this punishment.
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