I apologize for not updating very often. I've been focusing on my original stories at FictionPress.com. If
you'd like, you can read them at fictionpress.com/~papermask. Also, this will be a short chapter, so I apologize
for that, too. :)
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"Snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above,
Some moments last forever, but some flare up with love love love."
- The Mountain Goats, Love Love Love
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It has been two months, and Ron has moved to a flat near Hogsmeade, of all places. A sneaky little voice in my head tells me that he resides there because it brings up memories of better times between him, me, and Harry. I sniffle a bit. I never meant to hurt him. I look down at the wedding band on my finger. I still can't decide if it's time to take it off. I know that the time will come eventually, but I'm afraid of what might happen once it does. Life has been difficult enough, imagine what a divorce would do. Especially for the children.
The children are home from Hogwarts for Christmas break. At the moment, Hugo and Rose are playing a game of exploding snap in the kitchen. I feel my eyes begin to prickle with tears. They haven't been speaking much since Ron left. I'm not entirely sure if they blame us or themselves for our current situation. They get to see Ron every few days or so, and I hope that makes them happier. Of course, James, Lily, and Albus have been there for them. Ginny is consoling Ron, and although she isn't entirely cold or distant towards me, her demeanor is different. I don't think she realises that this seperation is a decesion that Ron and I made together. In fact, I don't think she believes that Ron was part of it at all. At least Harry doesn't blame me. I sigh softly. Harry. He's tangled somewhere in this mess. I am about to end my marriage, aren't I? The answer, of course, is yes. But what is the reason? Is it because of Harry? Or are Ron and I just not working anymore? Or maybe...it's both? I free my hand from my knitting to rub my forehead. I'm giving myself a headache.
"Mum?", Rose says quietly, interrupting my thoughts. I look up at her. Her auburn hair reminds me of mine. It's bushy and curly at the same time. I'm almost tempted to smile, but then I catch sight of her eyes. Her light brown orbs are tired and visably stressed. I ache for her, knowing that she and Hugo are in pain because of me.
"Yes, sweetheart?", I reply, attempting to keep the sadness out of my voice. She slightly tilts her head to the side, but carries on.
"Uncle Harry is here", she says matter-of-factly. I raise my eyebrows and set my knitting work on the side table.
"Harry? He's here - right now?", I ask, absentmindedly matting down my wild hair. I can swear Rose smiles, but if she does, she hides it well. She nods her head.
"Well then...erm...I suppose we'll talk to him, won't we?", I say stupidly. Rose nods again. We wait in silence for a moment.
"Erm...where is he?", I ask. Rose points to the kitchen. I finally get up and follow her out of the living room. When we enter the kitchen, I see Harry sitting at the table across from Hugo. They are playing an unusually quiet game of exploding snap. When Harry hears us enter, he turns around in his chair and flashes that smile, and I feel my knees shake. As I grab hold of the back of his chair so I won't fall, I attempt a nonchalant approach at speaking.
"Hello there, Harry. What brings you here?", I ask. There is a silence when we stare at each other, his smile widening, me biting down harder on my lip. Suddenly, he speaks to Rose.
"Rose, I hope you'll forgive me, but I seemed to have taken over your part of this game of exploding snap. Why don't you take it back?", Harry asks kindly. He rises from his chair and lets Rose take his place.
As my children continue the game, I feel a slight tug on my hand. I look up to Harry who smiles again, and pulls me into the living room. We sit on the couch, facing each other. My heart is beating faster and faster. Harry lets go of my hand and begins to speak.
"How are you doing, Hermione?", he asks. It is a simple question, really, but I just don't know how to answer it. Should I just tell him I'm fine, or tell him the truth? Or maybe-
"Hermione, really, it's okay. Just tell me", Harry says, interrupting my thoughts. He takes my hand and I can't look at him without crying. I want to hug him, kiss him, love him, but I can't. I can't. I begin to take sharp breaths. I feel like there's a massive pressure on my chest, and I'm not able to breathe. At first, Harry seems surprised, but then he just holds me. I feel safe and loved in his embrace, emotions that I haven't felt in a very long time. Warm tears begin to spill down my cheeks, and I feel embarrassed for crying in front of him. Finally, I get myself under control. He pulls me up and looks me in the eye, and smiles. I can't help but smile a little in return.
"Hermione, come stay with me", he says. I feel the color drain from my face. Harry continues anyway.
"Look, it's the holidays, almost Christmas, and the children love being together. Plus, you clearly need a break from all of this. Perhaps a change in scenery", he says with a smile. I'm not convinced.
"What about Ginny?", I ask timidly. Harry makes a fine line with his lips.
"Ginny will live", he replies. I bite my lip, but then laugh a little. Perhaps a change of scenery is in order. I nod my head in approval. Harry smiles wider and hugs me. Later, I inform Rose and Hugo that we would be staying with Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny. They seem excited enough and run to pack their belongings. As we get ready to leave, I quickly gather up my knitting project. I follow Harry, Rose, and Hugo, leaving my wedding band behind on the kitchen table.