Chapter Thirteen - Making the Catch (Times Two)
A/N - First and foremost, an apology. It's been an exceedingly long time between chapters. I've run into a snag with this story and another, and I've had to rethink pretty much everything between where I left off and the ending (which, perversely enough, is already written and sitting there waiting for me to catch up to it). I think I've gotten everything turned around so I can go forward, and hopefully it won't be quite as long before the next update.
The usual disclaimers all apply. Nothing you recognize is mine, the entire Harry Potterverse belongs to JKR and various corporate entities. I'm merely speculating on what might have happened next for the characters. Especially since I can't seem to find that bloody Epilogue anywhere. And now, back to our regularly scheduled mayhem and confusion…
-----
"And this is a shortcut to the dungeons that most people don't know about." Brushing aside a tapestry, the subject of which was the Four Founders overseeing the construction of Hogwarts Castle, Irving pointed towards the blank expanse of wall behind it.
"Irv, I hate to burst your bubble, but this doesn't seem to be anything more than the backside of a tapestry. And while it, surprisingly, doesn't seem to need dusting, I don't see this getting us any closer to your old dorm."
Trying not to laugh, Kaelli Nelson's hair began to change hues from its current turquoise to a subtle mauve, which was a certain sign that she was amused regarding something.
"Ah, ye of little faith." Smiling mysteriously, the Slytherin alum reached into his dress robes and removed his old prefect's badge. "Observe and learn."
Touching the badge to the blank wall, the plaster surface began to shift. Suddenly, there were five archways behind the tapestry. The center one was crowned with the Hogwarts seal, the other four with the seals of the four houses, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin from right to left.
"This is how the staff, the Heads, and the prefects are able to respond to things just a tad quicker than they should be able to." Touching his badge to the Slytherin archway, the plastered wall rolled aside like a scroll, revealing a set of stairs that descended into the darkness. Gallantly gesturing towards the entrance, Irving smiled. "Shall we?"
"My sister is so dead, when I get my hands on her." Shaking her head in amusement, Kaelli preceded the auror trainee down the stairs. Removing her wand from the spot where it was concealed in the dress robes she was wearing, she cast a faint lumos spell, creating a wan blue light to illuminate the way down.
"That's right; Eileen was a prefect, wasn't she?" Smiling smugly, Irving moved up beside his companion and slid his arm around her waist as they descended down to the dungeon level. "She couldn't have told you about this until after you graduated, even if she would have wanted to."
"Geas?" Seeing the nod from her companion, Kaelli shrugged. "Still, she could have mentioned something about it since we graduated."
"It's a trick we like to keep in reserve, tends to add a bit to the mystique of being a prefect, don't you know." Seeing the wry smile on her face out of the corner of his eye, Irving chuckled. "And it does give one an advantage on getting places on time that no one is particularly eager to give up by making it public knowledge."
"I presume the ascending flight of stairs provided access to a host of useful destinations?"
"Library, Headmistress' office, Hospital wing, Owlery. You know, the usual." Smirking just a bit, Irving watched his Hufflepuff girlfriend's eyes widen as she began to put together all the little coincidences across their last three years of school. "What a stinker you are."
"But I'm your stinker, true?" Whatever else he was going to say was interrupted as they reached the bottom of the stairs and bright silver light sprang forth.
Sitting in front of them was a bullmastiff patronus, which Irving immediately recognized as the patronus belonging to Senior Auror and Team leader Horace Smithers. As they came within range of the patronus, the massive canine looked up at them and began to speak.
"Irving, hold and observe. I'm sending reinforcements. Send your healer friend back up here to relieve Unspeakable Thomas; she should be heading your way momentarily." Looking expectantly, the canine patronus nodded once and then began to fade away.
"You heard the man, back upstairs with you." Shaking his head, Irving muttered aloud. "I wonder what came up after we left."
"And just who does he think he is?" Looking defiant, Kaelli turned to Irving and frowned. "Honestly, I'm not some helpless bint you picked up at the mall."
"He thinks he's an auror Senior Team Leader, which tends to colour his perspective on the world." Leaning over and kissing her gently on the cheek, Irving tried to turn her towards the stairs. "And he thinks you're a healer candidate and he's not really looking forward to explaining to Chastity Dursley if something were to happen to you at a wedding, other than getting trampled trying to catch the bouquet."
"Very funny Irv, and you know what I mean. I'm in the Healer support track, which means I took the auror basic course just the same as you did."
"And Senior Team Leader Smithers wouldn't take someone who was just through the basic course and put them into harm's way, if he could at all avoid it." Trying not to lose his patience, Irving was hoping to have his girlfriend on her way before reinforcements arrived.
"Bushwah and you know it." Shaking her head, Kaelli smiled grimly. "And besides, you're going to get packed off as soon as `help' arrives. If he's sending an Unspeakable, for goodness sakes, then he's probably got at least one senior auror with her." Seeing Irving nod his head in agreement, she continued. "And if she's sending Parvati Thomas, just how long will it take her shadow Lavender Brown to be on the scene?"
"Which means, knowing Smithers' very warped sense of humor, Team Leader Ron Weasley is probably with the Terror Twins, but what has that got to do with the price of flobberworms in Bulgaria?"
"Easy, we see if we can figure out what's happening, and then we have something to report to your backup."
"In spite of the fact I was just told to send you packing back upstairs and hold position myself?"
"Of course. We don't have to look suspicious; we'll be just a couple of Slytherin alums coming down to the old Commons. We'll peak our heads, see who's skulking about, you'll look adorably threatening, and then we'll depart and let your backup know what they're facing." Smiling, Kaelli nodded as she could see he was actually considering what she was saying.
"A brilliant plan, Kael, except for one bloody detail. You're a Puff, and no one is going to buy you pretending to be one of the snakes. I really don't see anyone mistaking you for Karrin Harrington, Derbail O'Connor, or Daphne Greengrass."
"Irving, I might be a Puff, as you so gallantly put it, but I'm also a metamorphmagus." Smiling wickedly, her features began to rearrange themselves into the semblance of one of Irving's old housemates, Grimlock Michaelson. "You said it yourself, Michaelson got himself picked up last night by the muggle constables for drunk and disorderly down in Cardiff. And since he managed to misplace his wand while doing so, he's going to be in the lockup until at least Monday since he doesn't have any valid id for the muggles unless someone from the Ministry goes and collects him."
"I don't know." Thinking out all of the variables in his head, Irving slowly smiled. "I don't suppose it could be too bad. Old Flint was never the fastest broom in the shed, he's probably just pissed that life had left him as a second-place tosser and decided he was going to cause as much havoc as he could and escape during the confusion. It's not as if he's actually smart enough to be part of anything too serious"
Nodding to his partner, Irving looked at the wandlight for a second. After Kaelli put out the telltale light, he gently eased the door open.
In the flickering torchlight of the dungeons, they could see the entrance to the Slytherin commons. Stepping out into the passageway, the pair strode quickly towards the entrance. Entering the dungeon, they stepped into the common area, looking around the dimly lit room.
"Just like old times, eh Grimmy?" Irving asked as he looked around. Seeing that the floo was lit with a green light, he wandered towards the stairs that led up to the dorms. "Want to see which firsties they've got parked in our old spots?"
As he turned to his companion, his eyes turned towards the floo, as did `Michaelson's'. His eyes widened as he saw the squat, toad-faced witch sitting at the other end of the floo connection.
Trying to keep his features calm, he nodded to his companion, trying to drag her attention back from the floo as she was obviously staring in disbelief. "Might as well head up and see what a mess they've made of our old digs, eh?" Jamming his elbow into her side, he snickered at the subtle `oof' that came out as he regained her attention.
"Right, that's an excellent idea." Nodding lazily, mimicking the mannerisms of their old classmate who had raised the concept of `indolent' to an art form, Michaelson/Kaelli nodded towards Irving. "Shall we?"
As Irving led the way up the short flight to the entrance of the quarters for the Slytherin students, both kept their ears peeled for any sound of someone coming through the floo connection behind them. As soon as they were safely through the door, Irving placed his prefect's badge against the first door they came to and ushered his companion inside.
"What is Dolores Umbridge doing sitting in a floo connection to your old common room?" Looking around in a panic, as if an enemy were about to jump out from underneath the bed, she turned her attention back to Irving. "She's got twenty some years or so left on her `community service' sentence that the court gave her to serve at St. Mungo's."
"Remember who put the nail in her coffin at her trial?" Seeing Kaelli's eyes go wide as she shifted back to her normal form, Irving nodded. "Word was that Hermione Granger orchestrated that entire trial just to pay Umbridge back for what she did to Potter during their fifth year." Shaking his head, muttering "We're so busted" under his breath, Irving produced his wand and cast a patronus spell.
Looking resignedly at the silver fox that was sitting, grinning at him, Irving swallowed once and began.
"Take a message to Unspeakable Thomas and then Team Leader Smithers. We're in the Slytherin dorms, sorry about the mix-up. No one in the common room, but Dolores Umbridge was on the other end of an open floo connection. All she saw was a couple of Slytherin alums looking around and heading up to their old digs. It appears I'm with Grimlock Michaelson; he's currently in a muggle lockup in Cardiff, so that alibi should be airtight for the moment.
We'll wander around up to my old room and see if we can suss out anyone else in here, but it looks as if Umbridge is waiting for Flint or someone to return, so as soon as she sees your group, she'll know something's fishy. Let us know if you want us to go create a diversion. Jellicoe, out."
Winking cheekily at him, the fox grinned and then dashed towards the door. Disappearing just before it would have collided with the door, the illumination in the room returned to its normal levels. Looking over at his companion, he sighed, "Better put your Slytherin face back on, we might as well make ourselves useful before I get drummed out of the auror corps."
"No one's that much of a hard case, at worst you'll be pegged as one of those annoying individuals who is a bit too sneaky for their own good." Giggling at the long-suffering look he gave her, she smiled. "But, they already know you're a Slytherin, the only surprise will be if they're surprised you did this."
Just as she was shifting back to the likeness of their old classmate, the room was lit up by the appearance of a silver minx, who apparently was having the time of her life. Smirking, or as much as a mink can, she winked at both of them.
"Almost thought I was listening to one of Harry's excuses, back in the day. Horace is going to rip you a new one when you get back upstairs, but since you've already stepped in it, you might as well be useful. Carefully check out the rest of the dorms, we'll let you know if we need you as a screen for our entrance. If you two are attacked, you are authorized to defend yourselves by any available means. As your grandfather would have said, `Weapons clear'. Good hunting, Jelli. Rescue One out."
Doing a back flip, the patronus blew a raspberry at the pair and then faded away. Feeling the look she was giving him, Irving grinned.
"Unspeakable Brown is on her way with Thomas, so that means we've got a bit of leeway."
Having shifted back, her voice was now the gravelly bass of Michaelson. "Weapons clear?"
"One of her grandfathers served with one of mine in the Royal Navy during the Great War. Apparently she feels that entitles her to twit me about it whenever she gets a chance." Shaking his head, he continued, watching her out of the corner of his eye. "And none of our friends ever hears about `Jelli'. Got it?"
"Right, Jelli. Not a word." Trying not to smirk, which never looked natural on Michaelson's face even when he was doing it, Kaelli reached for the closed door. "What say we wander around your old digs and see who we can find skulking about?" Looking around the room as Irving was opening the door and checking the hallway for lurkers, she chuckled.
"Everyone in your house got a single?"
"Of course. We might not be the `Evil Slytherins' any longer, but can you really imagine a house dedicated to sly, sneaky trickery and getting ahead at any cost sharing quarters?"
"I suppose not. Though this does beg the question why you never tried to sneak me up to your room last year." Walking down the hallway towards the stairs leading up to the next level, Kaelli chuckled as she shook her head. "Hopefully no one's listening to this, or you and old Grimmy will have quite the reputation to live down."
"Hush, and try to stay in character." Jellicoe stopped and cast a hominum revelio on the stairs up. "The stairs are clear; we'll check again when we get to the next level. Fortunately, `our' old digs are on the top floor, so we can go all the way up until we're recalled."
As the pair ascended the stairs, they kept a running dialogue regarding their, supposed, training schedules as they wandered about. While Irving was able to quite sincerely speak to the requirements of auror training, `Grimmy' was having quite the time adlibbing the perils faced by a new employee monitoring the floo network. Irving found himself becoming more amused at the scandalous innuendoes his `old housemate' was able to throw into conversations regarding unlisted floo hookups, and various public persons wanting their floo access records `mislaid' for specific periods of time.
"And I hated to tell the old wanker that if his mistress didn't have her records wiped, then his wife would still be able to find out he's been flooing in witches every time she goes to visit her sister in Calais." `Grimmy' finished after a perfectly scandalous story regarding the ongoing foibles of one Ludo Bagman.
"Are you making this whole thing up?"
Giggling, which was totally out of place for Michaelson, Kaelli shook her head. "One of my dormmates worked for a couple of years in floo registration before she started healer training. The stories she can tell…" Breaking off, at the sight of someone entering one of the dorm rooms at the end of the hallway, she whispered. "This is your old floor, correct?"
"Yes, and if that was a firstie, them I'm the Duchess of York." Glaring at his companion, daring her to shift into the likeness of the aforementioned celebrity, Irving raised an eyebrow as `Michaelson's' hair took on a faint ginger hue for a moment.
"Whose room was that?" Ignoring the look Irving was giving her, Kaelli strained to listen for any sound. Closing her eyes to concentrate, she shifted her ears until they looked uncannily like those sported by Hector, the house-elf who worked for the Minister of Magic. Holding up her hand, she concentrated for several seconds before opening her eyes.
"Harrington's. But it was empty all last year, she was Head Girl, and I can't imagine Karrin leaving anything remotely useful behind and not noticing it for an entire year."
"They're doing it rather quietly, but someone's going through drawers and cabinets down there." Seeing the look on Irving's face as her ears shrunk back to normal, she smiled. "Grew up with four younger sisters, learned how to catch them going through my things at a very early age when I was home on hols."
Nodding towards the end of the hallway, the pair walked cautiously towards the end of the hall. Passing the door in question, they stopped in front of the door just past it on the other side of the hall.
"Wonder if the new occupant found all of the stuff we stashed under the wardrobe, eh Grimmy?" Touching his prefects badge to his old room door, the door unlatched and swung open, with a faint creak as it opened out into the hallway.
Motioning to the side of the door that would be behind the door across the way when it opened, Irving continued talking. "I can't believe I left that potions journal. I'm going to need your help to get it, Grimmy old chap." Getting Kaelli in place, Irving cast a silent disillusionment on her than then on himself.
As he took up his place on the other side of the doorway into his old room, he reached over and pulled the door shut.
As the door shut, the door across the hall opened and a cloaked figure peered out. From his vantage point across the hall, all he could see was the outlines of a face inside the hood in the dimly lit hallway. Watching the shadowed figure look down the hallway as far as they could see, Irving held his breath as the lurker stepped quietly into the hallway. As they turned to gently ease the door shut, Irving attacked.
"Expelliarmus!"
Snatching his opponent's wand out of the air, Irving was unprepared when the lurker turned and immediately unleashed a physical attack on him.
Shifting to one side at the sight of the dagger in the hand of his attacker, Irving tried casting a holding spell, but his Petrificus Totalus slid around his mysterious assailant, indicating a shield was in place. However, either the shield didn't take into account someone being behind the person being defended, or when Kaelli took her wand and applied the tip of it to the back of the mysterious attacker's neck the surgical prep spell she cast bypassed whatever protections that were present. Either way, Irving's attacker flopped to the floor like a marionette with its strings cut.
Staring in each other's direction for several seconds in a futile attempt to reassure themselves that the other was unhurt, Irving shook his head and cancelled the disillusionment spells as Kaelli quickly knelt and began checking the vitals of the figure on the ground. Seeing the faded serpentine tattoo on the arm of their assailant, Kaelli paused for a second in her exam.
"Breathing is strong, pulse is steady, and this Death Eater bitch is going to wake up with a terrible headache in about four hours."
Kneeling beside her, Irving reached over and squeezed her hand before speaking.
"You were magnificent there. Remind me of that the next time I start needlessly worrying about you." Reaching down, he twitched back the hood revealing the face of their assailant.
"She's dead!"
"I thought you just said that her vitals were good?" Staring down at the unconscious witch lying on the floor, he shook his head. "I wonder how long before the polyjuice wears off?"
"Irv, I'm fairly certain it's not polyjuice." Looking worried, Kaelli ran another scan over their prisoner. "You need to send a patronus off to your backup right this second, this could be very bad."
"So how am I supposed to explain that we knocked out Andromeda Tonks while she was prowling around the Slytherin dorms?"
"We reviewed a case study workup on this one in one of my practicals. My last scan was one we use to screen people for shapechange, polyjuice and the like. She's not Mrs. Tonks, and that explains the `dead' part. This is her sister, Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black."
"She's dead." Seeing the exasperated look in Kaelli's eyes, he shrugged. "Right, you've already covered that."
"You send your patronus to the three that are heading for your common room; I'm going to send a message to the Headmistress." Pulling out her DA galleon, she began keying a private message to Professor McGonagall. "This just keeps getting stranger and stranger. But you certainly do know how to show a witch a good time, I'll give you that."
After dispatching his patronus with an update for the three that were heading for the entrance to the Slytherin commons, Irving looked up and carefully studied the witch who was kneeling on the other side of the prisoner from him. Smiling at the studious look on her face as she was busy keying a rather lengthy message to their old Headmistress, he came to a decision.
"Kael?"
"Give me a mo, this is trickier than it looks." Glancing up, she stopped as she saw the look on his face. Waiting a second for him to react, she looked down at the coin that was still in her hand. Hitting the commit and send sequence, she placed it back in her pocket and looked back up.
"What?"
"Next wedding we go to, let's be a bit more central to things so we don't get sent off on errands like this." Watching as her eyes widened, Irving nodded slowly at the questioning look on her face.
"How central?" Rocking back a bit so she was resting back on her heel, Kaelli tried to keep a smile from breaking out. "I thought we talked about waiting until we were both through with training and established before we made any changes."
"Planning on changing your mind in the next couple of years?" Seeing the amused look on her face, he smirked. "Neither am I. I say we should be very central. Front and center central."
"Is there a question in there somewhere, Mr. Jellicoe?" Holding his eyes for a moment, Kaelli smiled as she saw that he was sincere. Not just reacting to the moment, but very sincere. "How soon?"
"How long will it take us to convince your dad we mean it?"
"Are you asking me or my dad?" As she waited for his response, the coin in her pocket began to vibrate. Taking it back out, the message was simply `Instructions in route'. Looking back up, she smiled. "He's really not that bad, you've known him for years."
Before he could answer, the corridor lit up as a silver cat appeared beside them. The patronus took one look at the unconscious witch on the floor, made a scratching motion with her front paw as if covering something, and looked up at the pair in the hallway.
"Unspeakable Brown informed me that she had tasked the two of you with this little field trip into Mr. Jellicoe's old dorm." The tone of the Headmistress' voice left no illusion that she believed any such thing, but she was going along with the party line, for the moment.
"Secure your prisoner tightly, Mr. Jellicoe. I've been asked to tell you that the Order of the Path may be involved." Pausing a moment for that to sink in, the cat turned her head and nodded gravely to Kaelli.
"Miss Nelson, Healer Dursley suggests you administer the spell that got Mr. Sinclair suspended from your training group. If your prisoner is a Path member, that should keep her from suiciding until we can get someone to collect her with the proper potions. She'll sign off on the necessary parchmentwork once the two of you return." The cat sat back and started to fade when it added, "Additional instructions will be coming from Unspeakable Brown, and don't forget to cast a muffliato around her before you leave."
"Muffliato?" Casting several charms that securely immobilized Bellatrix, Irving looked up to see that Kaelli was blushing furiously and staring in horror at the spot where Headmistress McGonagall's patronus had faded away. "Kael, everything all right?"
"I'm so going to kill Sinclair." Shaking her head, Kaelli took a long look at the witch lying unconscious on the floor and shuddered. "Irv, if you ever breathe a word about what's about to happen…"
"Considering I don't have a bloody clue what you're going on about, that's pretty much a given. What spell has you this worked up?" Watching her carefully, Irving applied an additional set of restraints to their prisoner before nodding. "I think she's ready for whatever it is you're going to do to her."
"Are you ready with that muffliato?" Seeing him nod, she closed her eyes for a second. Reviewing in her mind the spell in question, she took into account everything she had read about the Death Eaters and made a slight alteration to the spell that she had discovered in an ancient healer's tome and had mistakenly shared with her study partner Ignatius Sinclair. Opening her eyes, she fixed her boyfriend, now fiancé, with a grim look.
"As soon as I cast the spell, hit her with the strongest muffliato that you've got." Seeing his amused nod, she took one last look at their prisoner. "And put her on her side, I know she won't be here very long, but I'd rather she not end up in respiratory distress."
After Irving gently levitated her and turned her onto her side, Kaelli reviewed the spell one last time and began. Taking her wand she moved it in a peculiar pattern and began to intone.
"Fututum somnia violenter ex silentium"
The effect on Bellatrix was immediate. No sooner had Kaelli finished the spell, Bellatrix began to writhe against the restraints, breathing very heavily and imploring Lord Voldemort to continue doing whatever it was she was imagining they were doing. With a whip.
Clearing her throat, Kaelli saw that Irving was watching the effects of her spell, so she reached over and punched him in the shoulder. As he looked up and saw her glare, he quickly cast the muffliato spell. The sounds, which had become more needy and louder, were cut off but the physical effects on Bellatrix continued.
"Do I want to know why you know a spell like that?"
"Walk with me." Taking his arm, she practically dragged him back to the stairwell in her haste to leave the area. "As part of our coursework, we were assigned ancient texts to transcribe. The one that Sinclair and I were assigned had that spell in it. Apparently Roman healers were assigned to interrogate prisoners for their magical leaders."
Looking over his shoulder, Irving blushed as he watched the witch writhing on the floor behind them.
"That certainly doesn't look like interrogation."
"No, but what it does is forces the subject to vividly create and live out their ultimate sexual situation in a dream. There are other spells that allow an interrogator to observe the dream and gain insight into what makes their subject tick. They can also insert themselves into the dream, becoming the person who gives the subject that experience, giving them leverage in questioning.
I wrote up a synopsis of the spell for our practical, noted that it had no acceptable use in modern medicine or polite society and strongly urged it be put on the restricted list. Ignatius, on the other hand, decided to experiment with it and ended up with both him and his girlfriend in St. Mungo's as patients."
"Ouch. Too much of a good thing?" Taking her hand, they started heading down the stairs, back towards the Slytherin common room.
"Something like that. Apparently he failed to realize that if you're going to do that, you need to have someone to act as a safety to pull you out of it since in your dreams you can keep going far beyond what the physical body could endure." Looking at him out of the corner of her eye, she smirked as she could see there was a question he wanted to ask.
"I know your Latin is better than mine, so you know the basics of what that spell is supposed to do. By all accounts, Voldemort was quite the perv and Bellatrix was his favorite pervette."
`Ouch again. Let's get back down to the first level of dorms so I can let them know we're in position."
As the pair wound their way through the Slytherin dorms, they could hear the sound of talking ahead of them. As they reached the last door leading down to the commons, they could hear both sides of a rather heated conversation.
"I really think I should go up there and get her. No telling what she's capable of."
"And she's as likely to cast a killing curse on you as kiss you if you surprise her. Those two dolts that work for the Ministry went up there; she's probably redecorating a hallway with their entrails by now. My concern is why Flint hasn't attacked that slag yet. The longer he has to pretend to be someone else…"
"All he has to do is prattle on about Quidditch and then dispose of one mudblood. If he waits for the right moment and disillusions himself, he should be able to easily escape in the confusion by `chasing' the attacker. I'm still not certain why we brought Bella anyway."
"Someone's going to have to pay for killing Potter's slag in front of the Order and half the Ministry; it might as well be her. She wants a go at his ex and the chit's mother. I doubt she's sane enough to take either one of them, but she should create enough confusion that it won't be readily apparent who's responsible. Think about it, she's upstairs ransacking a room that wasn't lived in last year on the off chance that mudblood Harrington left the Head Girl's pin in a drawer."
"Since she's not a member of the Path…'
"Yes, I know, it'll look like a Death Eater risen from the dead to strike down the ones that struck down the Dark Lord. Are you certain you've gotten rid of whatever it was that allowed her to come back?"
Easing the door shut, they looked at each other for a second.
"Irv, I think we're officially in over our heads."
"Good thought. Let me let the cavalry know what they're facing." Summoning his patrons, Irving sent a tersely worded message summarizing the situation, as they understood it, and asking for instructions.
Less than a minute passed before a Jack Russell Terrier patronus arrived. Looking grim, the dog yawned and began to deliver its message.
"When I give you the go, begin a three-minute countdown. At three minutes start down the stairs, don't rush and for Merlin's sake don't act suspicious. Talk about hearing someone wandering around upstairs, but don't let on like you heard or saw anything direct.
At three and thirty, the Headmistress is going to seal the castle. Since there's an active floo connection down there with someone in it, there will be three warning chimes. On the second chime both of you cast an expelliarmus on the floo, we'll be coming through the door and taking care of whomever the Toad is talking to.
If I remember correctly from my second year, your common room is full of heavy old furniture perfect for ducking behind and taking cover. I strongly suggest you two do that as soon as you cast your spells. We've got people in route to all of the open floos at St. Mungo's in case you aren't able to pull the Toad through."
Pausing for a second, the terrier patronus tilted its head to the side and simply said, "Go" as it faded out.
Beginning the timer spell, Irving carefully watched the beads of light that appeared on the handle of his wand. Taking Kaelli's hand in his free one, he squeezed gently as the time passed.
Fifteen seconds before the three-minute mark, he gently eased the door open and the two, with Kaelli's Slytherin persona in place, started down the stairs.
"I still say someone was rooting around up there Jelli."
"Probably one of the firsties overslept and is now trying to figure out how to get home from Scotland without admitting they missed the train."
Reaching the common room, both of them nodded casually to the non-descript wizard who was standing beside the floo, not even looking at the witch on the other end of the connection.
Just as the wizard beside the floo was taking a step in their direction, the lights in the common room flashed and a chime sounded. As the second chime began, both Kaelli and Irving had their wands in hand and cast almost simultaneous disarming spells at the floo, Kaelli's a tad before Irving's.
Ignoring the look of astonishment on the face of the wizard as he turned towards the floo, both began moving towards one of the davenports as a squat, toad-faced witch came rolling out of the floo, the green flames were extinguished, and the third chime sounded. A bronze gate dropped into place, effectively sealing the floo as the door to the commons burst open.
Moving with practiced ease, Lavender, Ron, and Parvati swarmed into the room. As Irving dove behind the davenport, he saw that Lavender cast a ball of silver at the wizard, which flashed into bright white light as it struck. His vision compromised, he missed Parvati wrapping the wizard up in a set of chains and Ron casting a spell that just barely missed the witch rolling on the floor way from the now sealed floo.
Kaelli, who hadn't been looking when Lavender's flare went off, rolled out from behind the davenport and nailed Umbridge in the back with a mildly overcharged stunner as she was leveling her wand at Ron. Propelled forward by the force of the spell, Dolores crashed into Ron, knocking him backwards and ending up on top of him, pinning him to the floor.
Silence returned to the room, followed by hysterical laughter from both Lavender and Parvati as they were both staring at the sight of Ron, flat on his back, with Dolores Umbridge on top of him, her head resting on his chest.
"Get her off me; the cow must weigh twenty stone." Glaring up from the floor, Ron fixed his gaze on Irving, who was blinking his eyes, trying to recover from the dazzle earlier. "And not one word from you about this to anyone."
Red-faced and gasping for air, Lavender' blonde curls were moving every which way as she endeavored to regain control. Finally able to talk, she smirked at the prone auror.
"Won-won, I know I promised Luna I'd return you to her unharmed, but this is so not my fault. Honestly, there are seven floors of rooms upstairs; the two of you couldn't wait?"
"Very funny Lav, Try to keep in mind I'm offering a job to your Canadian auror, would you?" Shaking his head in despair, he closed his eyes for a second. "I don't bloody believe this."
Looking over at Kaelli, who was biting her lip and trying not to laugh, he glared again. "Did she put you up to this, or did you decide this would be humorous on your own?"
"Well, sir," Kaelli began, trying vainly to think of something, anything, to say. "My first thought was that whatever spell she was getting ready to send your way; she definitely wasn't planning on kissing you." Seeing the shocked look on his face, and the gobsmacked look on the two witches who had accompanied him into the room, she let loose a small grin. "Stopping her from casting the spell was my best bet. My youngest sister is friends with Teddy and that lot; I'd hate to have to explain how I let his uncle get hexed without doing anything about it."
"The girl's got brass ones, no doubt about it." Eyes twinkling, Parvati levitated the still-unconscious Dolores Umbridge away from Ron and dropped her unceremoniously on the floor beside him. Looking over at her partner and best friend, she winked. "You want to play recruiting sergeant for this one?"
At that moment, Luna Weasley came strolling into the room, calm as could be with a trio of potion flasks in her hand. Looking around, she fixed her gaze on her husband, stretched out on the floor with Dolores Umbridge sprawled beside him.
"And here I was worrying about Lavender. Is there anything here I need to know about?" Smirking, Luna looked up at Kaelli and winked. "What say we go upstairs and find that witch you cast your special spell on while my husband kisses Sleeping Toadly?"
"Someone should go collect her, but according to that one," indicating Umbridge with a vicious jab of her wand, Kaelli returned Luna's smirk with one of her own, "she's not a member of the Path so if you have any of that potion the Headmistress was referring to, you might want to dose these two first before we go up and interrupt Bellatrix's trip down Pervy Alley."
"For Merlin's sake, will someone give me a hand up, I feel like a herd of hippogriffs landed on me." Blushing, Ron struggled up onto one elbow and held out a hand. "I'm certain that cow broke something when she landed on me." Turning to Kaelli, he nodded stiffly. "And, thank you. Whatever she was going to cast was probably worse than having her land on me."
Irving moved over and offered the fallen auror a hand, getting him back on his feet. Seeing that the older wizard was moving very stiffly, and favoring his ribs on the right side, he got Kaelli's attention and helped Ron over to the davenport that the two of them had recently sought cover behind.
Leaving her to get the basic scans out of the way, he crossed the room to where Parvati was kneeling beside the unconscious wizard that had been in the room. Squatting down beside her, he waited until she acknowledged him before speaking.
"Any idea who this one is?"
"Unless my memory's failing me in my old age, he's Ichabod Kernow. A very quiet and unassuming fellow who, for the moment, works in the commerce section of the Ministry's bureau on international cooperation." Reaching up a hand, without looking, and catching the rune inscribed flask that Luna tossed to her, Parvati deftly popped the seal on it with her thumb and pinched the wizard's nostrils together with the other hand. As his mouth opened by reflex, she poured the liquid in, casting a small charm that caused him to swallow without choking.
"That's my good little parchment pusher. Sleep the sleep of the innocent until we can get someone to cut your skull open and remove the little pledge pin they stuck in there." Looking up at Luna, who had just finished dosing Umbridge, Parvati smiled grimly. "I know we've already gotten something for the bride and groom, but if we truss yours up like a Christmas goose, she might make something nice for Hermione to take target practice with while she's on her honeymoon."
Reaching down and tracing her finger across the goblin-silver cuff that bore the inscription `I must not tell lies' in Harry's spidery script, Luna chuckled. "Harry would make Hermione give her back. Bad for the sprog, getting an expectant mother all worked up on a regular basis. Better we turn her over and let the lads and lassies on Team 12 keep her out of trouble until the lovebirds get back." Turning to Ron who was still over on the divan, having his ribs attended to by the healer trainee, she smirked. "What do you think?"
"They've all seen the scars and heard the story. They'll volunteer time to sit with her until her trial. Though first she's got a parole hearing coming up, I can't imagine being a member of the Path fits within the restrictions they placed on her keeping her out of Azkaban." Looking over at Parvati, Ron grinned. "As much as I'd like to be the one to tell her that we've gotten something on this piece of work, I vote we don't mention Umbridge is in custody to the bride or the groom."
"If you're not going to tell her about the Toad, then the subject of Bellatrix is definitely off-limits." Shaking her head, Lavender was coming down the steps, the restrained, silenced, but very conscious Bellatrix Lestrange floating behind her. "Since the three of us saw her die, I'm afraid that there's only one good answer for why she's back making our lives miserable."
"She'll do a nut when she gets back and finds out, assuming of course we can manage to keep it from them until their portkey leaves this evening." Shaking his head, Ron carefully lifted his arms and only grimaced a bit. Turning to the young witch who was trying to remain inconspicuous, he smiled.
"You do good work. If it were allowed, I'd ask Chastity to second you to our team right now. Finish you training, if you're still intent on working with the auror corps, you'll have a slot with Team 12 if you want." Looking over at Irving, who was trying not to smile at the embarrassed look on his fiancé's face, Ron chuckled. "You too. Trust me, regardless of what Horace is going to tell you when he reams you a new one, Team 12 has always had its fair share of team members who flew by the seat of their robes, from time to time."
Just then, bright silver light lit up the gloom of the Slytherin commons. Hovering in mid-air, Starlight, Hermione's otter patronus looked around. Zooming over to Lavender, she perched on the Unspeakable's shoulder and peered down at the furiously struggling Bellatrix.
Barking twice in amusement, Starlight dove from her perch on Lavender's shoulder and zoomed around, coming to rest on the unconscious form of Dolores Umbridge. Shaking her head, she looked over to where Ron was standing, staring open-mouthed and chuckled.
"Do a nut?" Leaping into the air, she pirouetted twice in the air, blew a raspberry at Ron and then disappeared in a flash of silver light.
As Ron, Luna, Parvati, and Lavender all looked at each other in disbelief; the silence of the room was broken by Kaelli's snicker.
"We're so busted."
-->