Chapter Three - A New Show at the (Snow) Globe
Spook Hall is the informal name given to that portion of the Ministry better known as The Department of Mysteries. The domain of the Unspeakables, the mysterious chambers where the unknown and things better left unknown were studied, had been for centuries a place that most of the witches and wizards in the Ministry avoided at all costs. The Unspeakables themselves were a group that cultivated an air about them that encouraged the mere mortals that worked for other departments to shy away. That is, until four years ago when Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil stormed the bastion of the inscrutable and gave a human face to what had been something better left unthought-of about.
"Lav, you can't be serious." Shaking her head, Parvati Thomas rolled her eyes. "You're seriously trying to tell me that the `Wall of Grimmauld Place' has fallen?"
"Unspeakable's Honor." Smiling, Lavender Brown nodded; sending her short blonde hair flying. "I have it from an unimpeachable source that they've finally figured it out." Rolling her eyes, she reached down to the charm bracelet on her wrist and fingered the transfigured DA galleon that hung there. "I was beginning to think we'd have to call an intervention from the DA or the Order to get them to see it."
"Speaking of `seeing'." Parvati nodded significantly to her blonde friend as Lavender blushed a bit. "Out with it, what did you see?"
"I'm really not certain." Looking puzzled, Lavender shrugged as the two of them came to the Chamber of Doors where the rest of the territory of the Unspeakables could be accessed from. "All I know is that there was a winged woman carrying a huge sword barring my Path to the Inner Planes."
"Curious." Looking serious, Parvati placed her wand against the door leading to the Hall of Prophecies. As the door came open, she shook her head. "And that's why we're headed down to the Christmas Shoppe?"
Chuckling at her best mate's characterization of the chamber where recordings of acknowledged prophecies, active or otherwise, were stored, Lavender smirked. "Actually, I was just going down to do a bit of shopping for the happy couple." Trying to keep a straight face as Parvati snickered as they started heading down the hallway, she shrugged. "You do remember what happened when you put a baker's dozen charmed muggle snow globes on Badette Penfield's desk that one morning with little tin labels on them? "
"How was I to know that she was going to think that every seer in Britain had cranked out a prophecy all at once?" Trying to look innocent, Parvati shrugged. "She was the one that sent me off on a mandatory vacation because I was `stressed out and losing it'." Shaking her head as Lavender erupted into a fit of giggles, she nodded. "I just brought her back some souvenirs of my trip so she'd know I had done what she asked."
"Please, those notes you added to the globes convinced her that some Dark Wizard was launching a plot to alter the weather patterns of North America in an effort to raise an army of yetis, abominable snowmen, and green liveried elves to enslave the muggles and conquer the continent." Shaking her head in admiration, Lavender smiled as she remembered her former boss being led out in restraints by a team of healers from St. Mungo's shouting about the dire threat posed by Kris Kringle. "And it was absolutely bloody brilliant."
"Who knew she was so ignorant of anything muggle and not English?" Trying to keep a straight face, Parvati gazed impassively at Lavender as the other witch tried to stop laughing at their former boss, whose contempt for everything muggle was only exceeded by her disdain for anything not `properly English'. Lavender's Scottish heritage, made manifest when Kingsley made mention of her distant family ties to a certain Scottish politician in Parliament, and Parvati's heritage had made both of them the obvious recipients of every scut detail and dodgy assignment that came around until her removal for `medical reasons'. The fact that the Patils have been living in England since the middle of the Seventeenth Century and Lavender's continued references to her distant Muggle relative as `that bloody Socialist wanker' did nothing to keep them out of Penfield's sights when it came to scutwork.
"Bad Penny never got over Kingsley overruling her and assigning us as part of the security for that muggle economic summit that one time. I notice you got a vaguely worded commendation for `services rendered to the Ministry' a week after her retirement was announced." Chuckling, Lavender shook her head at the inscrutable look Parvati was giving her. "Keep that up; we've got a poker game with the boys and girls from Auror Team Twelve this weekend. I need some new shoes if there's a fancy wedding coming up."
Looking around at the Room of Hours, Parvati sighed. "What is it with you and shoes? And you can't just wear the elf-made ones any sensible witch would wear." Looking down at Lavender's feet she chuckled. "I know you started wearing the muggle ones just to annoy Bad Penny, but she's gone now."
"Ginny says I caught shoe fever." Smiling impishly, Lavender rolled her eyes. "Besides, you meet the cutest guys in muggle shoe shoppes."
"Better muggles than certain wizards I could name." Parvati grinned at the blush that graced Lavender's face.
"It's bad enough Hermione's not gotten over that Christmas disaster without you bringing it up." Lavender sighed as she remembered the Ministry Christmas party when she made a very blatant play for Harry's attention.
"I knew it was a bad idea, but I was a bit soused, I'd had another row a couple of weeks before with Crystal's father, and they'd just gone through their `we're just friends, we can't figure out why everyone thinks we're together' routine, so I decided to see if it was true." Blushing, Lavender smiled sadly. "I think Harry's gotten over it, but Hermione still gives me that look whenever I'm in the same room with him."
"Well, I think we've heard the last of that song and dance routine." Seeing the grin on Lavender's face, Parvati nodded. "I'll agree that when she said `Harry's free to see anyone he likes with my blessing, you had a green light to ask him to dance."
Blushing, Lavender smirked. "But transfiguring his belt buckle into a sprig of mistletoe was a bit over the top?"
"Well, between the fact you had it glowing in the dark, and you told him you were going to kiss him under the mistletoe in front of her, I'd say you were a bit over what she was willing to ignore. I think what really set her off was the fact she couldn't undo it until he kissed someone."
"Hey, I can't be blamed for what happened next. I didn't even get a kiss out of it and I'm the one she's been snarky with since then." Shaking her head in exasperation, she sighed. "I can't believe your sister and Luna both came up and claimed kisses from Harry Bloody Potter, claiming they were owed them since they didn't get goodnight kisses after the Yule Ball and that party of Horace's our sixth year."
"Luna was just trying to let him off the hook without pushing Hermione into a public kiss with Harry; she's very married for Merlin's sake." Breaking into a wicked grin, Parvati nodded her head in acknowledgement. "My sister, on the other hand, has been on a quest for a rematch with Harry for several years now, ever since she dumped the Hyphen."
"I'm sorry; the look on her face was priceless. Padma put everything she had into that kiss, and all Harry did when she was done was hand her the mistletoe, and then ask Hermione if she fancied a dance." Giggling as she remembered the dismayed look on Parvati's sister's face, she waited until her friend nodded before continuing. "It's a good thing they weren't in earshot when she finally was able to talk."
"Wouldn't have mattered, the first ninety seconds was in Hindi. The crowning moment was when she glared at the two of them waltzing on the dance floor, shook her head, and said, `He's so married'. I thought Kingsley was never going to recover from laughing." Smiling, Parvati nodded to her friend. "Hopefully Hermione will be less inclined to hold onto the past, now that she's gotten her situation with Harry where it should be."
"Speaking of that night, since Padma got a dance with the Minister as a `consolation prize' as he so gallantly put it, are they still seeing each other on the sly?"
"Please. Those two are so not hiding anything from anyone. The running joke around the Second Floor is that Kingsley must be expecting, since there's a Children's Healer in and out of his office three or four days a week." Shaking her head, Parvati smiled at her sister's antics. "At least they know they're seeing each other. They're just delusional in that they think no one else has noticed."
"Hey, it's better than Harland and I. At least they're in the same time zone. We can't even seem to be on the same continent more than once every three months or so." Sighing wistfully, Lavender smiled as she thought about her longtime friend and her daughter's father.
"Lav, I'm sorry about Harland." Putting her hand on the other witch's arm, Parvati nodded at the look on her face. "Can't the two of you ever work things out to be together?"
Looking uncharacteristically serious, Lavender shrugged. "Except for the fact that we can't seem to get over each other, it seems so hopelessly confused. Those times we are able to be together, it's not just the physical thing going on. Crystal figured out two years ago that `Uncle Harland' was actually her father."
"She called him `Uncle Harland' when I came by the house last summer to take her to the beach to give you guys some alone time."
"Its part of the game she plays, I think." Smiling, Lavender nodded at the surprised look on Parvati's face. "When we're out, or someone's at the house, it's `Uncle Harland'. When it's just family, she calls him `Uncle Dad'."
"That must have come as quite a shock the first time she did that."
"Tell me about it. We were at Maxine's and the waitress had just left the table. She turns to Harland with those big blue eyes of hers and says `So, Uncle Dad, is there something you and Mum want to tell me?' I about passed a sweet tea through my nose and Harland choked for two minutes on the sip of butterbeer he was taking when she asked that."
"She's so your daughter. How'd Harland take it?"
"Surprisingly well. The fact that he couldn't openly be her father was giving him fits before, so now he's her `Dad' for everything he can be. We even got a muggle phone installed and a shielded room up in the attic where she's got a computer. They chat two or three times a week about stuff."
"They chat?" Smirking, Parvati stared at her friend.
"Actually, it's just them. You'll find that being an Unspeakable is very hazardous to complicated muggle technology, whether we're actively using magic or not. I can use one of those old rotary phones, but if I'm within five feet of Crystal's portable, I'll fritz it up until I leave the room." Shaking her head, Lavender sighed. "I miss him so."
"Still the same issues between you two?"
Shaking her head, Lavender sighed. "Pretty much it's the fact that I won't give up my job here and he won't give up his job working for the Canadian Ministry that dooms us to not being together."
"When was the last time he was over?" Shaking her head at the folly of her friend being involved with a wizard that lived a quarter of the way around the globe, she contrasted the reality of Lavender being faithful to a wizard she rarely saw and her public persona as an incurable flirt who chased every wizard she could find.
"Beginning of the month, it was. He was here to escort some officials from his Ministry who were talking to Kingsley about including a couple of their academies in the Tri-Wizard Tournament rotation. Crystal was staying with my mum and dad, so it was a very romantic seventy-two hours."
As they reached the entrance to the Hall of Prophecy, they looked around. Nodding to their left, Lavender shuddered faintly as she remembered the `discussion' she had last night with the Guardian of the Paths that had barred her from seeking knowledge of the future of her two friends. "If I'm interpreting what she told me correctly, what we'll be looking for is down this way."
Heading further into the Hall, going back in time if you will as they headed for the older prophecies held by the Ministry, Parvati scowled. "Are you certain?"
"She rebuffed me with a look as I tried to move past her. I swear that arching eyebrow thing reminded me of Hermione at her best, and she knocked me back on my metaphysical arse without breaking a sweat." Shaking her head, Lavender grimaced at the memory. "Then she told me, in a very clear voice, that if I checked the status of `Three Six One Forty', I'd know enough to move forward."
"That's not good." Shaking her head, Parvati looked nervously at the shelves as the passed the oldest active prophecy and started heading for the ten rows that contained the inactive ones, the ones that were not active because the primary person mentioned in the prophecy wasn't alive, yet. Looking over at the sign-in board beside the end of Row 10, she nodded. "Four weeks ago, that was the last time someone checked the archives." Shrugging, she sighed. "How long as it been since one of these went active?"
"Just before Christmas 1978, almost thirty years ago if I remember our briefing correctly." Shaking her head as she signed them in, Lavender looked around nervously. "And that was one of the two `Unveiling' prophecies. As that old movie Dean is fond of quoting says, `I have a very bad feeling about this.'"
Stepping down the aisles, both witches looked at each other as they arrived at Aisle 3. As if in response to their anxiety, there was a faint light glowing down the aisle, on the row labeled `six' on the end. Although they were deep within the heart of the Ministry, and in the Department of Mysteries, which was the most secure section of the entire complex, they both drew their wands as they began making their way down the aisle. Cautiously approaching, they both stopped and stared as the globe in niche one hundred and forty was glowing softly in the continual twilight illumination of the Hall of Prophecy.
Gingerly reaching out her hand, as if the globe were a noxious creature that would attack her without provocation, Lavender picked up the brass plaque that was lying beside the now active prophecy.
Engraved on the plaque was the globe's current location, 3-6-140, its new location that it would appear in as soon as one of the two witches tapped the plaque with their wand to signify that they acknowledged that the prophecy was now active, and a brief synopsis of the circumstances surrounding the collection of the prophecy.
"Headmistress Fiona MacBeth to Brother Fregus. 19 March 1286. `The Leader of the Unveiling' (unknown wizard), `Daughter of the Mormaer of Moray' (unknown witch), `Heir apparent of Ravenclaw' (unknown witch - possibly Hermione Granger), Harry Potter - Heir of Gryffindor, unknown twin witches, unknown ? (witch? werewolf?), and unknown wizard." Looking over at Parvati, she waited until her friend looked up from reading the plaque before commenting.
"It would have to be the other `Unveiling' Prophecy." Shrugging, Lavender smiled thinly. "Kingsley's going to have a fit. All he needs, on top of dating your sister, is the prospect that the whole `Statutes of Secrecy' are going to come tumbling down around our ears. At least we know where to go to hear the original." Looking a bit puzzled at the annotation on the plaque, she shrugged. "And there are two principal parties on this one
"True, but look when it went active." Illuminating the tip of her wand, Parvati reached over and flipped over the plaque to the inscription that had magically appeared at the moment the prophecy was activated. "Moonrise 24 April 2006."
Smirking, Lavender sniggered as she did a quick mental calculation. "Always knew Harry wasn't a true Englishman."
Staring at her friend as if she was questioning her sanity, Parvati tapped the plaque three times with her wand. The plaque briefly glowed a bright blue as the globe containing the prophecy connected to it disappeared from its niche, to reappear further forward in the Hall, finding it's chronological resting place among the tens of thousands that were waiting to be claimed. Seeing that Lavender was still too pleased with herself to respond without prompting, Parvati shook her head. "Are you going to explain that?"
"You remember that dodgy song about the bloke coming home drunk from a tavern Seamus sings every time he gets toasted?" Seeing the amused nod from Parvati, Lavender laughed again. "Well, moonrise in London this morning was around 4:35, give or take."
"And?" Still not seeing the connection between moonrise in London, Harry, the prophecy, and that ridiculous song Seamus would sing when he'd had a bit too much to drink, Parvati was becoming annoyed with Lavender's amused look. "Honestly, you're looking like you did when you caught Hannah and Neville snogging during that DA reunion we had in Wales right before they got married."
"Think of the last verse." Seeing that her friend was still not getting it, she rolled her eyes. "The bloke comes home, sees some guy sneaking out the front door and asks his wife who that was leaving at a quarter after three in the morning. She tells him that it was the tax collector from the Queen."
"Harry's a tax collector?"
Shaking her head sadly, Lavender started laughing at the confused look on Parvati's face. "Honestly. The chorus finishes with the bloke saying that `an Englishman, who could last till three, I'd never seen before.'" Chuckling at the shocked look on Parvati's face as she finally got it, Lavender shook her head. "At least we know what the two of them were doing this morning when the Wall of Grimmauld Place came tumbling down."
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A/N - The song Lavender is referring to is "Seven Drunken Nights", and it's been recorded by numerous groups. While it's old enough to be firmly in the public domain, I don't own it, Seamus just borrows it from time to time when he's had a bit too much. Also, I don't own Star Wars or any of its associated properties. And, of course, JKR and various corporate entities own the entire Harry Potter universe, and I'm most definitely grateful to her for creating such an interesting framework
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