More important things
Chapter 5: The Agony of Rejection
Ron stared appraisingly at his reflection in the mirror. He smoothed down an errant lock of hair and flattened down his jumper over his broad chest. Turning this way and that he puffed out his chest checking to see which profile appeared the manliest. Peering closer at the mirror Ron cleared his throat and in a husky whisper said, "Hermione you're the most beautiful…" he left off mid sentence and shook his head, dislodging the lock of hair he'd set to rights earlier. Tapping a finger against his chin he thought for a moment before deciding on a new course. Looking back up he gazed into the mirror a second time and with a self-effacing grin said, "I may not be as bright as you but I'm quick enough to know a good thing when I see it…" again he abruptly left off what he was saying. Smacking a hand to his forehead he admonished himself with a "No, no, no… can't make yourself sound like some sort of sodding idiot." After several minutes of muttering to himself Ron looked up into the mirror a third time and heaving a sigh closed his eyes and whispered ardently, "I love you more than I can ever say and you'd make me the happiest man in the world if you'd marry me."
"I'm flattered that you're so taken with me Ron but you're really not my type I'm not into blokes and seeing as how we're brothers I think mum and dad would be a touch put out about you proposing, not to mention what Angelina and Hermione would have to say about the whole thing."
Ron turned around and rolled his eyes at his older brother and muttered, "I wasn't proposing to you, you git. I was practicing what I'm going to say to Hermione."
George stepped across the threshold of Ron's bedroom grinning wider than a Cheshire cat. "So you're finally going to do it then, eh…" George paused as Ron flushed a shade of red only a Weasley could properly manage and nodded awkwardly. George's grin widened a bit more, "About time you got around to making an honest woman out of Hermione all those late night visits to the Headgirl's private quarters must be setting quite the bad example for all of McGonagall's impressionable underage witches." George waggled his eyebrows suggestively at his brother. Ron ignored the comment and turning back towards the mirror opened the top dresser drawer and pulled out a dark indigo velvet box. Turning back around he handed the box to George. George flipped open the lid to reveal an exquisitely cut diamond nestled inside of an intricately knotted gold band. It was clear from the workmanship that the piece was Goblin wrought and had undoubtedly set Ron back a few sacks of galleons. George whistled low under his breath, "Either I'm paying you pretty well or you're robbing me bloody blind."
Disregarding George's aside, Ron nervously asked, "Think she'll like it?" George nodded as he snapped the box shut and handed it back to Ron. "Don't know too many birds that don't like humungous shiny diamonds."
Ron let out a terrified yelp. "Humungous shiny diamond… do you really think it's that big… I wasn't sure what to get, Hermione's not really the flashy type but I wanted to get her something that'd let her know how much I love her. But if it's humongous she may not like it and… "
George chuckled as he interjected, "Settle down Ron I wasn't implying that she wouldn't like the ring its a right nice ring, much better than I thought you'd have done, I'm sure Hermione will love it."
Ron's expression relaxed into a more calm aspect. Then just as quickly it reverted to its previous horrified guise as he posed another question to George. "What am I supposed to say; I mean how do you ask someone to spend the rest of their life with you and what if she says no?"
Again George chuckled, "Ron you don't need some fancy, rehearsed speech just say what's in your heart." He paused a moment and watched as Ron nodded before adding, "As to the rest I think Hermione turning you down is the last thing you need to worry about."
At his brother's encouraging words Ron smiled winningly. Seeing that his work was done George turned and headed out the door. As he crossed the threshold he called back over his shoulder suggestively, "I'll expect a full account of things when you get back here tomorrow night!"
Ron's only reply was a muffled laugh.
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Hermione exited the Headmistress's office and stepped onto the revolving staircase in something akin to a state of shock. She had just left the library following her rather revealing conversation with Luna when Simon Atherford, a fifth year Ravenclaw prefect had come racing up to her and informed her that she was wanted in the Headmistress' office immediately. Hermione had complied straight away, but the last thing she had expected when she had been summoned to see McGonagall was an interview with the Minister for the Department of Magical Law and the Minister for Magic. Though she had known Kingsley Shacklebolt for nearly four years and considered him to be a friend nothing could have prepared her for the visit she'd just had with Kingsley, McGonagall and Delphinia Weaver.
In the year since Kingsley had taken on the job as Minister for Magic, the Ministry had undergone numerous changes the most central of which had been the process of re-educating the wizarding public in their attitudes towards Muggles and Muggleborns. Kingsley felt that one of the reasons that Voldemort had been able to secure such a stronghold and pursue his agenda in the wizarding community was because of the tendency of wizards to think themselves superior to non - magical persons and magical creatures such as House Elves, Centaurs, Goblins and the like. This fundamental way of thinking was ingrained into the very fabric of the wizarding world, particularly in its laws. It was for this reason that Kingsley and Delphinia Weaver, the new Minister for the Department of Magical Law, had journeyed to Hogwarts.
A position for a junior assistant to the Minister of Magical Law had recently become available and Kingsley had brought Minister Weaver to Hogwarts to offer the job to Hermione personally. It seems that the moment Minister Weaver had come to Kingsley and informed him that she needed someone in the position who was not only intelligent but someone who possessed equal amounts of compassion, empathy, determination, persistence and out and out toughness. Given this description Kingsley had immediately thought of Hermione. He proceeded to outline Hermione's attributes to Minister Weaver and suggested that the two meet in person. Minister Weaver readily agreed and the two set off for Hogwarts. Once they'd arrived and explained the purpose of their visit, Hermione was sent for and an impromptu interview had taken place. By the end of the hour and a half long discussion Hermione had been offered the position of junior assistant to the Minister of Magical Law. As she still had just under a month to complete her studies and her would be predecessor still had several pressing assignments to complete before his final day she'd been given a fortnight to make a decision.
As Hermione turned the corner and the suit of armor that served as the sentry to her private quarters came into view she breathed a sigh of relief. After the long conversation with Luna and the unexpected job offer Hermione had more than enough to think about. She was looking forward to a quiet night, perhaps a nice warm bath and a hot cup of tea. Hermione's hopeful imaginings of a pleasant evening ended as she stepped into the common room of her quarters and found Ron waiting for her. He was dressed in his nicest pair of slacks and a brown jumper. The absolute last thing that Hermione wanted to do was to entertain Ron especially given her earlier realizations concerning her feelings for Harry. A million possible excuses that she could give to her erstwhile boyfriend as to why tonight was not a good night for him to hang about begin to flit through Hermione's mind but she didn't get the chance to voice nary a one of them as Ron reached out and drew her into a kiss.
Hermione was startled by the action. Since her encounter with Harry three weeks prior she had been deftly avoiding Ron. It had been easy considering the fact the she was quite immersed in her N.E.W.T.S. and Ron had himself been quite busy shuttling back and forth between the Hogsmeade and London branches of the store, helping George with the new stock and the impending transition to Lee taking over Ron's responsibilities. With both their schedules being so crowded it had been easy to avoid spending much time alone with Ron. Her assiduous attempts at avoiding Ron coupled with her confusion over her feelings for a certain dark haired, green eyed wizard had pushed any thoughts of the impending moment when she would be back in Ron's presence and consequently it had also pushed any thought of Ron's penchant for snogging her the moment she entered into an empty room with him.
At the feel of Ron's lips pressed against her own Hermione unconsciously recalled the kisses she had shared with Harry, particularly the one from three weeks before; the fierce desire that swept through her at his touch and the positively wanton manner in which she had responded to his kiss; she felt none of that as Ron kissed her, she had never felt anything of sort when she kissed Ron. The realization that Harry elicited a fervor in her that Ron did not caused her to stiffen and pull away from Ron's embrace. A somber expression covered her face as she stepped away from Ron. Turning her back to him she surreptitiously wiped the rather wet remains of Ron's enthusiastic greeting from her lips.
Ron noticed the movement but being that Hermione had her back to him couldn't tell exactly what she'd done. He could see that something obviously had her flustered by the way she was bustling about the small common room tidying the table near the window that was covered in notes bearing all manner of references to Ancient Runes and Arithmancy. As he stood watching Hermione a thought occurred to him; Hermione had been fine until he'd kissed her could it be that it was his kiss that had left her so discombobulated. A slow smile spread across Ron's face he loved the fact that he could still fluster Hermione with a simple kiss. Feeling suddenly quite confident about his intended objective Ron spoke, "Sorry about that, I hope I didn't startle you too much."
Hermione didn't immediately reply to Ron's comment. Instead she concentrated on keeping as much distance between herself and Ron as possible. When she did speak it was in an oddly formal tone she asked, "Is there something you needed Ron? I'm a bit busy what with exams and everything so I haven't much time to spare." Ron frowned. That was not the greeting he'd been expecting. Inquiringly he replied, "Not much time to spare eh, not even for your boyfriend who's missed you terribly."
Hermione, who had finished straightening up the table and had moved across the room to the couch and dropped down. She opened her mouth and a few stuttered words stumbled from her mouth. "I… I… um… er… I just…" Ron strode across the room and took up a seat beside her cutting off the remainder of her halting reply, "I know I should of owled first but I haven't seen that lovely face of yours in ages and… well there's something rather important I wanted to ask you."
There was a hopeful edge to Ron's words that caused Hermione to really look at Ron. Once again she took in his appearance; he was wearing the tailored black slacks and the brown cashmere sweater that her mum had given him for Christmas. She could see that he had taken the time to shave and that he'd meticulously combed his hair. He was also wearing cologne. Hermione's thoughts drifted back to Christmas dinner at the Burrow and Ron's birthday party at the Three Broomsticks and Molly's not so subtle hints about she and Ron needing to get on with it and make things official. The reality of what was about to happen slammed into her with the force of a stunning spell… Ron was about to propose. Hermione took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she had to do next. "Ron there's something I need to tell you."
Ron threaded his fingers through Hermione's and smiled, "Can it wait a bit… I think you'll want to hear what I have to ask, as a matter of fact I'm sure that once you hear what I've got to ask you'll probably hate that you interrupted me at all." Hermione looked at Ron's wide smile and his pleased expression and sighed internally, it was clear that he was not going to stop himself, taking a deep breath she said, "Ron please, it would be better for us both if you didn't ask your question, it would only make what I have to tell you more difficult." The edge in Hermione's tone caught Ron's attention. With a confused and curious expression on his face Ron said, "You know what I'm planning to ask you." Hermione nodded. Ron spoke again, "And you don't want me to." Hermione nodded a second time. He didn't bother to ask how Hermione how she had guessed his intentions - it was Hermione after all he had long accepted that she knew practically everything there was to know - instead he asked the one question that mattered. It came quickly in a forced and clipped tone. "Why?"
Hermione wasn't sure what to say or where to begin. How did you tell your boyfriend that you couldn't be with him because you were in love with his best friend? Not knowing what else to do she took a deep breath and carefully began, "I love you a great deal, Ron. We've been through so much together over the years… been so close… it would be impossible to imagine my not loving you. You're far more to me than just my boyfriend, you're one of my best friends, but as much as I care for you, as much as I love you I can't be with you…" Ron's eyes widened in surprise at Hermione's words, he opened his mouth as though to argue or question her statement but Hermione prevented his interrupting her by resiliently continuing, "I can't be with you Ron because as much as I care about you as much as I love you its not enough…"
Ron interjected then. "Hermione what are you saying? Are you… are you breaking things off with me?" Hermione averted her gaze from Ron's and in a voice no more audible than a whisper she replied, "I'm sorry." Ron shook his head as if trying to clear it. He tightened his grip on Hermione's lifeless hands. "Hermione you can't mean that! Where is this coming from? What did I do wrong?"
Hermione shook her head, "Ron you haven't done anything wrong. Its nothing you've done…" Ron's violently cut across Hermione's words. "If its not me then what is it! Why are you doing this?" There was a strange undercurrent added to the confusion in Ron's voice now. Thus, Hermione's tone was placating when she answered "Its truly not you Ron, its me. You deserve someone who can love you completely and unreservedly… someone who is fully devoted to you. I… I'm… I'm not that person Ron. I love you but I'm in love with you. Not the way I should be, not the way you deserve."
Ron froze. He hadn't known what to expect when Hermione began her explanation but of all the things he had expected Hermione to say nothing could have prepared him for what he had just heard. What exactly had she meant by someone who was fully devoted to him? Was she saying that she wasn't devoted to him? And what was this nonsense about loving him but not being in love with him? It sounded like the sort of rubbish you told a bloke when you were throwing him over for some other tosser.
"Its like you're saying there's someone else." Ron didn't realize he'd spoken aloud until he felt Hermione's fingers tense and stiffen in his grasp. The movement prompted him to raise his eyes to hers. As soon as their eyes met Ron knew that his suspicions were true, he didn't need to hear her say the words as the truth was staring back at him out of her eyes. Ron dropped Hermione's hands as if he'd be scalded. He leapt up from his seat on the couch beside her, his voice sounded deafening in the quiet and stillness of the room. "Who is it? Who's the git that you've been having it on with behind my back?!"
Hermione rose from the couch, "I haven't been having it on with anyone behind your back Ronald! I'd have thought you knew me well enough to know that I'd never do that to you!"
"You haven't been carrying on with some tosser behind my back but you don't deny that you're in love with someone else!"
Hermione sighed. "Ron I've known for quite sometime that things were not as they should be between us. I've tried to be what I thought you wanted… what you needed me to be but I can't keep lying to myself and to you about something that we both know is wrong. You shouldn't have to work at loving someone Ron."
Ron ignored the spark of recognition Hermione's words triggered in him instead he focused his attention on the question that remained unanswered. "Who is it Hermione? Is there even someone else? Because for the sake of Merlin's pants I can't imagine who you could have taken a fancy to, the only person you ever spend any time with is Harry…" As the named slipped past his lips Ron remembered the conversation he'd had with Harry all those months back at his birthday party. Harry's words came back to him, Not everyone gets their happily ever after. Ron glared at Hermione and sneered, "I guess Harry'll be getting his happily ever after afterall." Without another word he turned and strode to the fireplace and disappeared in a flash of green fire before Hermione had the chance to mutter a reply.
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It was nearly dawn when Harry trudged bleary eyed with exhaustion into his bedroom. He'd been on patrol in Diagon Alley and had spent half the night running down back streets chasing low level criminals for the seeming amusement of the more senior aurors. He was in desperate of a hot meal and a shower but as he was so worn out he had decided to forego food and just have the shower. He was halfway to the bathroom when he noticed the tawny owl perched on his dresser. He was across the room in a single stride. Deftly he slipped the roll of parchment from the owl's leg unraveling it to reveal Hermione's familiar looping script. Two words were written on the page; Ron knows. The exhaustion that had consumed his body seemed to evaporate immediately as he stared at the two words Hermione had written. He looked out the window at the ever brightening sky; it was too early just now to turn up at Hogwarts despite it being a Saturday. He'd have a shower and a bite to eat before heading to Hogwarts. The clicking of the owl's beak broke through his private musings long enough for him to hastily scrawl his intentions on the bottom of Hermione's note. He watched the owl fly out of sight before turning and heading to the shower.
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