The next few weeks went by in a blur. With apparition testing for her and Ron, Harry's continued worry over how to get the memory from Slughorn, and the ever looming threat of Malfoy, Hermione was busier than ever, and never alone.
As it turned out, they hardly saw Malfoy. He was conspicuously absent from most classes and rarely appeared for meals. When he did however, he would be sure to stare at her until she felt uncomfortable and she'd had to keep Harry and Ron from hexing him across the Great Hall more than once.
Harry asking Dobby and Kreacher to keep an eye on Malfoy had paid off though. They now knew he was using the Room of Requirement for something although Harry hadn't been able to get in. They also knew he was making Crabbe and Goyle polyjuice themselves as girls which Ron found hilarious.
Hagrid had sent word earlier that afternoon that Aragog had died and he wanted all of them to come to the burial. She had sent a shocked look at Harry and could tell as much as he wanted to be there for Hagrid, it was still a funeral for a giant spider that had tried to kill him. Ron wanted no part in the matter.
As usual, their conversation turned to how Harry could convince Slughorn to share the memory Dumbledore so desperately wanted. It was Ron who came up with the solution and suggested Harry use the Felix Felicis. She was glad they had settled on something as she had been watching Harry stress over his task for weeks now and was looking forward to some sort of resolution.
Now they sat in the common room after dinner, waiting for it to clear out some so Harry could take the potion and hopefully get the answers he needed.
They tried to appear normal, with books and parchment in front of them, but none of them, including her, were getting any work done. When finally Dean and Neville left for the boys dormitory Hermione hastily shut her textbook and scooted closer to Harry on the couch.
"You sure you want to use it?" she said suddenly, nervous that if this didn't work it would be doubly difficult.
"Don't see any other way." Harry answered with a shrug and pulled the vial from his pocket.
"Shouldn't need the whole thing, just a few hours should do so...I guess I'll take a few sips." he looked at her expectantly and she nodded her agreement. Without further delay he tipped the bottle back and took a swallow.
She watched him carefully, waiting for any indication that the potion was working. And then, as if something had been flipped he gave her a broad grin.
Harry put the cap on the vial with a bit of aplomb and tossed it in the air so that it flipped end over end several times before he caught it with a flourish and replaced it in his pocket.
"I think...I think I'm going to go see Hagrid." he said with conviction and she looked at him with her mouth agape. Hagrid? How on earth could going to see Hagrid help him get the memory from Slughorn.
"Harry..." she began, wondering how she was supposed to convince him he was wrong when he was doped on a potion that told him the exact opposite.
Without even giving the room a glance he pulled her to her feet and gave her a rakish grin before crushing his mouth to hers. She whimpered in surprise and then her eyes fell shut of their own accord and all rational thought left her as his hand cupped the side of her face and he kissed her like he never had before.
When he finally pulled back his lips left hers with a `pop' and the way he was looking at her made her stomach do funny things. "Oh yes," he said "I'm feeling very lucky tonight." and her cheeks flamed instantly at the innuendo.
Ron was clearing his throat so loud and so often she thought he'd be hoarse tomorrow, but Harry didn't even seem to notice. He pulled the invisibility cloak out of his bag in one smooth move and winked at her. "Don't wait up, luv." he said and then he was out of sight. A split second later just his head reappeared, "On second thought...maybe you should."
She gaped at him open mouthed, but before she could react he was gone again. "Harry James Potter!" she growled, and she swore she heard him chuckle before a group of fourth years came through the portrait hole and she assumed he must have made his way out.
Her and Ron stared at each other in shock. "What's he going to find at Hagrid's?" Ron said, finally.
"I have no idea." she replied and wandered to the window. From the tower she could just make out a faint light of Hagrid's hut, but with Harry using the cloak she'd never be able to see him. Regardless, she still watched until she thought he would have had enough time to make it there.
Waiting was the worst. Ron stayed with her and they made an attempt at homework, but even she couldn't concentrate, and after thirty minutes of trying to write one sentence she gave up.
She paced in front of the fireplace while Ron twirled a quill between his fingers over and over again until she snatched it up in frustration and tossed it on the table. He just gave her a look and she mumbled an apology before collapsing onto the couch.
She fought sleep, although Ron didn't and dozed off close to midnight. The rest of the room was empty, and she could have sworn she heard someone at the portrait hole not much later, but it was difficult to tell over Ron's snores. Without a bit of regret she cast a Muffalato charm on him and enjoyed the silence.
Harry should have been back by now. The potion would have long since worn off, and the only logical reason she could come up with for why he hadn't returned was that he had been successful and gone straight to Dumbledore. However, that still didn't ease her worry.
Ron jerked awake in the early hours of the morning and she had to surreptitiously remove the silencing charm without him realizing it. "...et some sleep, Hermione." his voice filled the space, but he didn't seem to notice the beginning of his sentence had been lost.
She did note that although he was telling her to go to bed he didn't seem to intend on leaving either, and proceeded to fold himself into the chair in such a way that limbs were hanging every direction and soon enough he was asleep again.
With a sigh she tucked herself into the corner of the couch and tried to focus on the dying flames of the fire, but instead of keeping her attention it lulled her eyes shut and she lost the battle.
Harry slid into the common room quietly. The Fat Lady had been more accommodating this time around and thankfully hadn't given him any trouble. He still had the cloak out in case he needed it, but a quick scan of the room let him know that Ron and Hermione were the only two present.
Ron's head was tipped back over the arm of a chair and one long leg was stretched out so far he could rest it on the couch. Hermione was curled on the other side, abandoned books on the floor in front of her. She had one hand under her cheek and the other lay loose across her lap. He felt a twinge of guilt that they had tried to stay up for his return.
He couldn't believe he had actually gotten the memory, but most of all he couldn't believe what he had learned.
He trudged wearily to the couch and dropped down on it heavier than he intended. Hermione shifted in her sleep, but didn't wake up. With a sigh he let his head fall back and let out a long breath. His thoughts whirled with horcruxes, and prophecies, and how he was supposed to defeat Voldemort with love. Dumbledore had been so certain, so emphatic that he understand this, but the pressure was overwhelming and he didn't know if he could handle it.
Harry slid his eyes towards Hermione. He wouldn't be able to do this without her, he knew that, whatever this ended up being. He didn't want to wake her, but he needed some sort of assurance that she was there. Slowly, he reached a hand out until it could rest on her leg. The loose flannel pants she wore were soft beneath his fingers and he couldn't help it as his thumb traced a pattern over the small bones of her ankle.
His eyes fell shut, and gradually his hand slowed until it was still.
When he woke up it had to have been hours later. The fire had burned to embers, but no one else had come down yet from the dormitories. Hermione appeared to have woken up at some point because he found himself with a face full of hair as she was now half draped across his chest and he was slumped down so far his nose was far too close to Ron's sock clad foot.
He used his free hand to pat down Hermione's mane and accidentally woke her in the process. She blinked several times and then seemed to remember where she was. She turned her face into him and yawned before looking up through her lashes.
"You should have let me know you got back." she admonished, her voice raspy with sleep.
"It was late and..." he trailed off as she pushed herself up.
"You got it?" she asked and he just nodded
"But there's something more." she said perceptively and he nodded again.
She reached across him and pushed hard on Ron's foot so it landed on the floor with a thud. When all he did was move his head around some and begin to snore louder she pulled her wand and sent a low level stinging curse his way. He sat up with a yelp and absently rubbed his arm where she had got him.
"Oh Ron, you're awake." she said with false sweetness, but Ron was none the wiser.
"Hey." he said, and rubbed a hand over his face before pushing himself to sit in the chair in the fashion it was designed for. "When you'd get in?"
"Late. I got the memory." Harry replied, and Ron froze in the middle of his stretch.
"Really? How? Did you see it yet? What did Dumbledore say?" Ron asked hurriedly
Harry looked around the room once more to ensure they were alone, and hoped they had another hour at least before the early risers would be up.
Taking a deep breath he held out his hand and Hermione laced her fingers through his immediately. He gave her a grateful smile and then dove in.
He told them everything: how he got Slughorn to go to Hargrid's, how he got him to give up the memory, and then finally, everything he saw and everything Dumbledore had postulated about the horcruxes.
Hermione had somehow restrained herself from asking any questions while he spoke. Now, he was afraid she had too many and didn't know where to begin. Ron just looked stunned.
His hand was numb from where she held on to him. She hadn't let go the entire time and as he watched and waited he saw her blink quickly a few times and then set her jaw.
"We're doing this with you, Harry." she said fiercely "These horcruxes, we're going to help you and Dumbledore find and destroy them." and a weight he didn't even know he'd been carrying around with him disappeared.
He opened his mouth on instinct to argue with her, but her eyes flashed and he never thought he'd seen her more sure of anything. "Don't you dare!" she spat out "Don't you dare say you don't need us! After everything we've gone though and everything that is ahead of you, if you think for one second we're going to let you do this alone you're..."
She didn't get to finish her sentence because he tugged her towards him and silenced her with a hard kiss. "Thanks," he whispered into her and she locked her gaze with his before replying, "Always."
"What she said, mate." Ron piped up from behind him, "Except I'm not gonna kiss you."
Hermione sent him a glare and he just smirked in response.
Harry looked at both of them and felt a relief wash over him, "Thanks, really. I don't..." he sat back heavily and let his eyes fall shut. "Dumbledore asked me to go with him. He thinks he may be close to finding another one, and when he does, he wants me to go along." Earlier, in the Headmaster's office, it hadn't actually registered with him; what he was going to have to do. But now...the fear and uncertainty and pressure were beginning to become overwhelming.
Hermione bit her lip in worry and he wanted to assure her, he wanted to tell her it would be fine, but this was getting bigger and bigger and the stakes were higher than ever and he didn't know if it would fine at all.
"I know." was all he said, and before any of them could say another word he could hear footsteps on the stairs.
The days went by all too quickly and he felt that he was constantly on edge, waiting for Dumbledore to summon him. One afternoon, as they were going over a Transfiguration assignment, Harry pulled out his potions book and flipped through it slowly.
Hermione's eyes cut over to him and saw what he was doing. "I suppose since you've got the memory now, you don't really need the book." she said slowly, and he could tell she'd been wanting to say something for awhile.
He was drawn to a page he had dogeared and ran his finger over the spell written on the side, `Sectumsempra'. "Yeah, I guess you're right." he conceded, "I just wonder, who this belonged to. I mean, you said so yourself, the work is correct, just not by the book."
"True, but you have no idea what some of those spells or potion changes could do." she said pointedly
"I know. But I'd like to. Whoever this is, you can't say they didn't have a brilliant mind. Aren't you curious to find out what this means?" he asked, pointing to the spell he had just looked at as an example.
"I suppose just a little, but Harry you can't just go around casting spells you know nothing about." she cautioned, and he shut the book before picking up the Marauder's Map to check on Malfoy's whereabouts.
Once again, he couldn't be found. With a heavy sigh Harry muttered the incantation to make the map invisible and the tossed it into his bag. "Room of Requirement again?" Hermione asked and he just nodded.
Harry felt antsy and frustrated and decided if he stayed there any longer he was likely to irritate Hermione or drive himself crazy. Making a decision he looked around quick and brushed a kiss across her cheek, loving how she simultaneously flushed at the action and got that look in her eye that let him know he was in trouble. "I'm going to go see if I can't catch him coming out, maybe follow him."
"Harry..." she began, her tone low and warning, for both kissing her and going to spy on Malfoy.
"I'll be careful. He won't know I'm there." he said, and deftly pulled the cloak from his bag and grabbed the map as well, just in case.
"Don't be long. We told Ron we'd meet him before dinner." she said and purposely turned her attention back to her work. He could tell she wanted to go with him, if only to keep him out of trouble, but she was only half way through correcting their essays and she still had issues with being near Malfoy.
He saw her swallow heavily and he leaned in so close their foreheads almost touched. "Hey, I need to do this. I need to find out what he's doing, because I know he's up to something and Dumbledore thinks it's important. But mostly I need to do this so I can stop him. He's not coming near you again."
She didn't look at him but her quill stilled, "Alright, Harry." she said softly and he allowed himself to brush a hand over her hair before he straightened up and left the common room without looking back.
He waited until he was in the hallway and alone before he put the cloak on and headed for the Room of Requirement. He waited for over an hour with no movement before Mrs. Norris came creeping by and he had to leave. By the time it was safe to return Draco was now showing up in one of the boy's bathrooms.
Cursing his timing he hurried as quickly as he could and approached the door to the bathroom with caution. He checked the map once more and saw that, other than Moaning Myrtle, Draco was alone.
Harry put the map away and pulled his wand. He pushed open the door slowly and winced as it let out a low squeaking moan, but no footsteps came his direction. He could hear the sound of voices echoing in the space, but couldn't quite make out what was being said.
He crept forward, taking care where he placed his feet and when he made it to the main area of the room he could see Malfoy as he leaned over a sink.
Without thought Harry removed the cloak and stepped behind Malfoy, so when he looked up he saw Harry staring him down in the mirror.
Malfoy spun on the spot, his wand drawn.
"I wouldn't recommend that, Malfoy." Harry spat, "It's not so much fun when you're cornered, is it?"
"Oh, hello Harry." Myrtle said in her wispy, girlish voice, "You never come visit me anymore. Don't you still like me?"
Neither of them paid any attention to the ghost.
"Are you still worked up about what happened to the Mudblood?" Malfoy said haughtily, "It was just some harmless fun."
It took everything in Harry's power to not react to his words. "I know you're up to no good. I know you're doing something for Voldemort in the Room of Requirement. I know your family is using you to do their dirty work for them inside of Hogwarts. I know you're just a puppet, with no free will." as he spoke, Malfoy's face became more and more snarled with rage.
"You know nothing of me and my family, Potter! And when you're licking my father's boots when this is all over I'll remind you of that. Don't worry though, I'm sure we can find a job suitable for the Mudblood." the leering, disgusting way he said it left no doubt to what he meant.
All reason and sense and words of caution vanished from Harry's thoughts when he heard Malfoy speak.
Harry fired a Reducto straight at Malfoy's head and he only ducked just in time, causing the mirror behind him to explode into thousands of tiny shards.
Myrtle screeched and yelled at them to stop to no avail. With a wailing moan she flew to the nearest toilet and zoomed out of sight.
Spells and curses flew around them, but Harry had never felt more focused and in control. Everything Malfoy sent his direction he was able to shield or cast the counter curse for before it could do any damage.
Harry could see the surprise and then the anger as Malfoy realized he wasn't making any headway.
Desperation flared in his eyes and then, faster than Harry thought possible, a purple curse flew at him. His shield was a second too slow and it clipped his shoulder. Harry cried out in pain, but managed to hold the Protego as Malfoy continued to bombard him. When he realized it was the same curse that had fallen Hermione at the Department of Mysteries Harry saw red.
A word flashed in front of his eyes and, without knowing what it would do Harry swung his wand wildly and said "Sectumsempra!"
Deep, wide gashes cut across Malfoy's chest and he gave out a small sound of surprise before collapsing to his knees. Blood blossomed quickly and soon Malfoy was on the ground unable to move or speak from the pain.
Harry kept his wand trained on him until he was certain he no longer posed a threat and then he approached.
Harry crouched down so he was closer to eye level with Malfoy. He made sure the Slytherin's eyes were on him as he plucked the other boy's wand from the weak grasp he had on it and tossed it away.
"Things are different now, do you understand me?" Harry asked, perfectly calm, while he watched Malfoy's blood slowly swirl down the drain. "I am not the same person I was a few months ago. I will not tolerate your continued attacks, and your continued insinuations. You are only here because Dumbledore has allowed it. But you need to know that if you ever come near Hermione again or make threats like you just did, even Dumbledore won't be able to stop me. Do you understand?" Malfoy was paler than ever and had begun to shake, but Harry did nothing to help him. "Do you understand?" he asked again, his voice hard, and was glad to see Malfoy nod once.
Harry stood and looked down on Malfoy, not taking pleasure in what he had done, but not feeling any remorse for it either. "I'll let Madame Pomfrey know you're in here. Maybe you won't bleed to death by the time she gets to you."
A low level tremor went through him as he walked away, and he tried to force the image of Malfoy's injuries from his mind. Harry completely forgot about using the cloak and as soon as he stepped into the hallway he saw Dumbledore standing there.
"Harry..." he began, but Harry held up a hand and cut him off.
"I didn't kill him, but he probably needs to go to the hospital wing." Harry said, and then turned to leave, wanting nothing more than to lay eyes on Hermione and know she was alright.
"Madame Pomfrey is on her way." Dumbledore said, and leveled Harry with a stare he was unable to look away from, "Harry, I thought I made it clear that you were not to take matters into your own hands."
Anger flared at Harry as the Headmaster spoke at him in that dour, somber tone of disappointment, "And I thought I made it clear that Hermione was going to be protected! You have no idea what he said to me. I had every right to do what I did!" Harry threw back.
Dumbledore sighed heavily, "Go, Harry. We will discuss this further at another time."
Harry didn't need to be told twice and he passed the school nurse on the stairs as she hurried to the Headmaster's call.
When Harry got back to the common room Hermione and Ron were both missing and after one brief moment of panic he thought to check the map and saw them pacing in front of the Great Hall. He smacked his forehead and turned on the spot to head back out the way he had came, he had completely forgotten about meeting them for dinner.
The hallway was empty as he approached as it was well after the meal had started and from a distance he could see Hermione stalk the same three feet of floor with her arms wrapped tight around her while Ron stood motionless.
As Harry closed the distance between them he knew when she saw him because she gave a little yelp and tried to run towards him but Ron grabbed her arm and held her back.
Her hair flew as she turned on Ron and by the time she was done ranting Harry was in front of her.
"Harry!" she exclaimed when she saw where he was and she made a stuttered sort of move as she tried to simultaneously hug him and try not to. Finally the need to hug won out and she launched herself at him.
He wrapped one arm around her back and the other around her waist and tried not to wince when she buried her face into his hurt shoulder.
"Where have you been? I've been so worried!" she said, but it was muffled as she didn't bother to lift her head.
Ron ran an appraising eye over him, "What's that on your sleeve, mate?" he asked casually
Harry tilted his arm up and saw his formerly clean jumper sleeve now had red droplets of Malfoy's blood all over it.
"I may have run into Malfoy." he replied and Ron gave him a hard nod of understanding.
Hermione pulled back sharply and gasped, "Harry! What happened? Did he attack you?" she asked, frantic and began to run her hands all over, searching for injuries.
When her hand skimmed his shoulder he flinched and she looked at him in concern, "What is it? Do you need to go see Madame Pomfrey?" she asked
He grabbed her hands in his to still them, "No, I'll be fine. Madame Pomfrey's busy right now anyways."
He looked at both of them and then back towards the main staircase, "Come on, let's go back, it'll be empty and..." he trailed off, now that he was removed from the moment reality was beginning to sit in and his stomach was starting to turn from the memory of what he had done.
Hermione must have sensed his mood because she didn't argue with him, she just slipped her hand in his and tugged him with her as they headed to the common room.
However, the closer they got the more shock he felt and soon enough Hermione was pulling him into an empty classroom and forcing him to sit on a bench.
"Harry," she said gently, and pulled his hands away from his face but he couldn't bring himself to look at her, "What happened?"
"He was...you don't know what he was saying." he said stilted, almost the same words he had said to Dumbledore, "I didn't mean to use it, I swear `Mione, I didn't, but it just slipped out. I didn't know thats what it was going to do."
"Use what?" she asked
"The spell. From my potions book, the one I pointed out to you earlier." he admitted,
"Oh Harry." she said softly "What did it do?"
He swallowed heavily before answering "It made these horrible gashes all across the front of him. There was blood everywhere."
Hermione gasped and let her hand rest on his bent knee. "What did he say?"
"I can't...I won't tell you." he managed to get out. She stood, and her fingers ghosted over his shoulder again.
"What did he hit you with?" and her tone suggested he would have to answer her
"That purple curse." he finally admitted
"Harry! You need to get it looked at, it took me weeks to recover..."
"I know that!" he exclaimed, angry at the reminder of her injury,
"Did he use anything else, Crucio?"
"No." he said quickly "At least I don't think so."
She nodded once and then stood firmly in front of him, "Harry, listen to me. If I had know about the curse from the book when he attacked me last time, I would have used it."
His eyes flew to hers at her declaration.
"Malfoy isn't playing duel. He's using serious curses with serious consequences. He's using Unforgiveables, and other dark magic that the Death Eater's have taught him! We have to use everything at our disposal and if that means using potentially deadly curses ourselves then...we have to live with that."
"But doesn't that make us no better than them?" he countered, Dumbledore's look of disappointment was still with him.
"It only does if we do it for pleasure. Using all the resources you have is just being smart. You shouldn't feel guilty for that. They're using these curses because they think we won't. They think we're too good and too weak, but being smart is it's own sort of strength and as long as you continue to feel bad when you cause another person pain, regardless of who they are, you will never be like them." she looked as if she could have taken on Voldemort alone right then and he had never loved her more.
His throat was tight and he had no words that could adequately match what she had just said so he nodded and hoped it would be enough.
She knelt down so she could fill the space in front of him. "You're not him, Harry. You're not Voldemort."
His head came up so quickly he felt vertebrae crack and his mouth hung open. How had she known? How had she figured out that his biggest fear was becoming like Voldemort?
"You were both orphans, and you both consider Hogwarts your home, but you have something that he never had and never will have. You're loved and you know how to love." Her hand came up and brushed away the fringe that hid his scar, "And I agree with Dumbledore; that will make all the difference. So, although it may sound idealistic or even absurd, yes, your ability to love will allow you to win in the end." her fingers slid down his cheek to cup the side of his face, "And you are loved, Harry, you must know that."
Harry reached up and grabbed her hand tightly before turning it so he could press a kiss into the palm. He shut his eyes and squeezed them shut in an effort to keep tears at bay, but one slipped out. Her thumb caught it in time and swiped it away before bowing her head over his.
"Thank you." he was able to whisper. She pulled him closer to her and he leaned in for a long moment.
"Better?" she asked with forced cheer in her voice
"Yeah," he rasped out, he wanted to talk to her longer, but he felt too raw right then.
He sat back slowly an realized with a start that Ron had been there the entire time. Harry flushed, but Ron pretended not to notice.
"All good, mate? Can we head down to dinner now or should we just go see Dobby in the kitchens?" Ron asked, deliberately not mentioning what had just happened, and for that Harry was grateful.
"Kitchens sound good." he replied, sounding much more in control than he had expected.
Hermione pulled him up by the hand and laced her fingers with his. He didn't care who saw them in the hallway. He half suspected the majority of Gryffindor was on to them and was just placating until they decided to come clean.
As they snuck down to the kitchens he was reminded again at how very lucky he was, and felt a small bit of confidence that maybe Hermione and Dumbledore were right and he did have a chance after all.