Author's Note:
Again, continued thanks for the fantastically awesome reviews!
I think this is my favorite chapter to date. It practically wrote itself and I'm very pleased with how Hermione's emotions are working themselves out. I hope I'm doing her justice.
As you can also see we're now back in the Book 6 timeline with my new plot being woven in. This is how I intend the rest of the story to go, the original story line altered and added to in a way to make H/Hr work.
WARNING: This chapter mentions sexual assault. If this upsets you in any way please stop reading now.
Hermione was actually glad for the semi-quiet that Ginny's room provided, the bustle of the train station had been somewhat overwhelming. After taking an extra long time to unpack she decided to stay in the room and read a little, trying to do something `normal'.
Ginny had just dumped her trunk and rushed back out again, anxious to see the new products Fred and George had brought with them.
She heard Ron and Harry come back down the stairs, no doubt in search of food but didn't go out to join them. Soon, the smell of something cooking wafted up the stairs but she wasn't overly hungry. She wasn't overly anything. Her outburst this morning had seemed foreign to her and she hated this feeling that everything was out of her control and that she had little say in what was happening.
And she had to be honest with herself, the exchange with Harry in her dorm...she had no idea how to feel about that. He had surprised her and she was confused about the things she had felt but she had decided to put that to the side for now if she could, it was just too much to take in at once.
The rest of the day passed quickly, for which she was thankful. They had a typical Weasley dinner, which mostly involved Fred and George getting into trouble and afterwards everyone gathered in the living room. Hermione grabbed the book she had been reading and opened it, if for nothing less than a cover so that the others wouldn't think anything was wrong.
Ron and Harry were deep in concentration over a game of Wizard's Chess and Mrs. Weasley was knitting a pretty lilac colored sweater and humming along to the wireless.
No matter how hard she tried she couldn't focus on her book, the words mixed together and nothing made sense and finally she gave up trying and just let her thoughts wander. Mostly she thought about that night and wondered if there was anything she could have done differently. Of course, not asking McLaggen in the first place would have been a good choice. She could have kept her wand in an easier to reach place, maybe she should look into getting a holster for her arm. She made a mental note to ask Tonks about that the next time she saw her.
Moody's ever present warning of `Constant Vigilance!' ran through her head more than once. She had certainly failed there.
The house clock chimed ten o'clock and she figured she had made enough of an appearance to keep the elder Weasley's from thinking anything was too wrong. Closing her unread book she stood up quickly and said good night to the room before heading for the stairs.
She saw Ron and Harry start at her words and half rise out of their seats, Harry looking especially concerned but she pinned them with a wide eyed stare and implored them to sit back down and not be so obvious. They did as she wanted, although Harry seemed as if he was considering ignoring her wishes.
Out the corner of her eye she saw Mr.Weasley watching them with great interest over the top of the Daily Prophet. Without another glance she headed straight to Ginny's room and shut the door behind her.
It was pitch black and for a moment she felt a wave of panic come over her. Stumbling in the dark she found the candle by feel and lit the wick with shaking hands. When the warm glow illuminated the area in front of her she felt embarrassed to have been so scared, she had never been afraid of the dark before.
She changed quickly into a pair of red and gold striped Gryffindor pajama pants and an old university sweatshirt of her mum's she had borrowed last year and forgotten to return. Grabbing her things for the bathroom she stole into the hall and quickly did what she needed to do, hoping she wouldn't run into anyone on the way.
Back in the room she got into bed and rolled so she faced the wall but left the candle burning. Hopefully Ginny would think she was asleep and not try and talk to her when she came in.
A half an hour later, Hermione still lay there with her eyes wide open, unable to even try to sleep. Every time she shut her eyes she either saw the wall with that terrible message, or the evil slitted eyes of Voldemort or McLaggen's sneering face as he raised his fist to hit her.
There was a tromp of feet up the stairs and the sounds of doors opening and then more feet on stairs as she heard Harry and Ron head up one more flight. Ginny was quiet when she entered and Hermione could feel her eyes staring at her to see if she was asleep. Feigning sleep wasn't hard and soon Ginny was settling in for the night.
Another half an hour and Ginny's even breathing let her know that she had been able to fall asleep. The rest of the house was quiet and she could see just fine now by the moonlight that filtered in through the windows.
She slowly pulled back her covers and winced as her bare feet hit the cold wood floor, she mentally cursed herself for not getting socks out earlier but now it was too late unless she wanted to risk waking Ginny.
Tiptoeing to the door she paused and took a deep breath before opening it and hoping it didn't squeak. Down the hall to the stairs she crept and remembered to skip the noisy step almost losing her grip on the banister in the process.
The Weasley house at night was an amazing thing, it seemed to run on the energy of its occupants all day long, fueled by pranks and laughs and shouts of indignation. But now, at night, it had a peace about it, and right now she needed that peace.
She crossed to the worn, plaid couch and sank into the corner, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth. The fire that had burned earlier was now shimmering embers. She didn't want to sleep, didn't want to risk having another dream like she had the night before. It was nice to just sit and be still.
She was so lost in thought she didn't hear the loud creak on the steps, or the muffled curse.
A hand on her knee shot a bolt of fear straight through her and in an instant she was transported back to that night and once again she was lying on the cold, damp stone with McLagen pushing his hand up underneath her skirt.
With a gasp, she was suddenly climbing backwards on the couch trying to get away.
"Hermione!"
It was Harry's voice, in a whispered shout.
She focused on what was in front of her and saw him, frozen, half sitting on the table in front of the couch, arms outstretched, looking horrified that he had scared her.
"Harry!" she breathed out, a hand coming up to cover her pounding heart as she slid back down on the cushion.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." he stammered, still hovering over the table.
She took a deep breath and willed her erratic pulse to slow down. "It's ok...you just...you just took me by surprise is all."
At her words he finally sat on the table.
"What are you doing down here?" he asked gently
"Couldn't sleep." she said, a little too quickly
"Couldn't or didn't want to?" he threw back, almost as fast.
She stilled. How did he know?
"Does it matter?" she answered, an edge to her voice.
"Yes."
She pulled her legs up under her and played with the sleeve of her top, avoiding his gaze. "I don't want to go to sleep." she admitted "I'm afraid I'm see him again."
He just nodded and looked hard at the floor. "After last year...after the Department of Mysteries, I felt the same way. The first week I was back at the Dursley's every time I would sleep I would dream of Sirius falling through the veil. Sometimes I would see you getting cursed by Dolohov. But the more I tried not to sleep and not to think about what had happened it just got worse."
She was quiet, `Did he really have nightmares about her injury?' she thought, she didn't know what to think.
"How long did you have the dreams?" she asked
"That first week was the worst. I still have it every now and then." Harry said, sounding embarrassed.
"I'm so tired." she admitted "But when I shut my eyes, I'm back in that corridor and I can't move and no one's coming for me." she blinked back tears, pressing the back of her hand over her mouth.
Harry brought his arms up and rested his elbows on his knees before letting his forehead drop to his hands.
"I'm so sorry." he said, his voice low and sounding so torn she had trouble understanding him "I'm so sorry...I should have stopped him. I should have known..." he fisted his hair in his hands. She reached out a hand to stop him but he didn't notice "I should have made you stay at the party. I knew you were uncomfortable and I did nothing! I just let you go off with him. If I had made you stay you wouldn't have been hurt. If I had made you stay he would have never touched you!"
She covered his hands with hers and pulled them away from his face. His eyes were bright with unshed tears and he looked so forlorn "No, Harry. This isn't your fault." she pleaded but he didn't seem to hear her.
"It is my fault!" he ground out "Everyone around me gets hurt! Anyone who is connected to me, who loves me, ends up dying! How can this not be my fault!"
"You are a good person, Harry Potter! This was not your fault!" but she knew she wasn't getting through to him.
He let her pull his arms down and then slid to his knees in front of her. "Please forgive me, Hermione, please." he whispered and then wrapped his arms around her hips and laid his head in her lap as if seeking absolution.
She was completely overcome with emotion. To see Harry breakdown like this. To see him so affected. She felt a wave of love and tenderness for him come over her. Her hands hovered over his head before finally she gently brought them down and began to stroke her fingers through his dark locks.
He took a shuddering breath and his fingers dug into her hips. A shiver shot through her. She didn't say anything else, just sat and continued to touch his hair, the repetitive motion calming both of them. When his breathing had evened out she leaned down a pressed a long kiss into his head. "You're forgiven, Harry." she said and he pulled her towards him until she had no other option but to slide off the front of the couch and join him on the floor.
Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and just held him tight. They didn't move for a long time. When the Weasley clock chimed two a.m Harry stood up without letting go of her and sat them back down on the couch. She slid off his lap and curled up next to him, resting her head on his chest and allowed herself to shut her eyes and fall asleep, feeling completely safe.
Harry woke them in time to steal back to their beds before anyone else was up. He gave her had a squeeze outside Ginny's door and his face bore no signs of embarrassment at what had happened hours earlier, although she did feel a flush in her cheeks as she ducked into the room.
It was now Christmas Eve and Mrs. Weasley had the house moving at a fevered pitch in preparation. Hermione immediately offered to help with anything that needed to be done and was put to work accordingly. She was glad for the distraction. Not being able to use magic, everything took longer and kept her from having to think about anything.
Harry and Ron were kept busy as well and she didn't see them that much although she knew they were always close by. She still didn't know what to make of the night before and Harry's breakdown. She had never seen him so vulnerable before and she wondered if he had ever allowed himself to be like that with anyone. His words kept running through her head as if on a loop `Anyone who loves me ends up dying.' She loved him, she knew that, she had loved him for years, but how did she love him. That was something she couldn't answer right then.
The last few days had brought out a side to Harry that she always knew was there but had never been so prominent. This was the Harry that she always knew he could be.
This was the beginning of the end. This was probably going to be their last relatively normal Christmas for the foreseeable future. The war could take years and she only hoped that they could look back at the people they were before it had all happened, before Harry had been forced to take up the mantle of General. She did know that no matter what, no matter where it would take her, she would always be by his side.
The boys came tromping through the back door just then, stomping shoes and unwrapping scarves from their necks, their cheeks rosy with the cold. Harry looked up and saw her standing at the sink and gave her a smile, a true smile, unfettered and genuine. She smiled back and locked the memory away, knowing that such a thing would become a rarity in the near future.
Ron headed straight for her to see what she was preparing and snatched one of the carrots she had just peeled. "Ron!" she shrieked indignantly and smacked at the back of his hand much too slowly. "If you eat everything I just worked on there won't be anything left!"
"Sorry, `Mione." he said with a smirk and reached a hand out to snag another before darting out of the room.
She blew hair out of her eyes with an exasperated huff and caught Harry's eye. He was leaning against the door jamb and was looking at her with an expression she couldn't quite place.
"What?" she asked
"It's good to see you be you." he said, pushing himself off the frame and walking towards her. He shot a look at the bowl behind her and gave her his best puppy dog impression.
She rolled her eyes "Oh go ahead." she said and laughed as he grabbed a handful and backed out of the room "Get out of here carrot thieves before I send you out in the garden to get me more."
The grin dropped from his face. "Anything but that. We just spent the last hour de-gnoming. I don't want to see that garden for a long time."
"Then get out of here and let me work!" she said with mock annoyance and swatted a dish towel in his direction.
"Yes, Hermione." he replied and winked on his way out the door.
Remus arrived a few hours later looking more haggard than they had ever seen him. She and Harry exchanged worried looks as everyone gathered in the living room to greet the former professor. She saw Harry pull him aside and whisper something and then saw Remus' eye dart up suddenly to find her.
She wasn't looking forward to that evening, filling everyone in on what had happened, having to answer questions about that night...she hoped she was strong enough.
Bill and Fleur came not long after and once again the Burrow was filled with sounds of happiness. Bill was clapping all the boys on the back and Fleur swept up to her, looking gorgeous as usual. " `ello, `ermione." said in her lilting accent and air kissed her on her cheeks.
Hermione smiled back good naturally "Hello, Fleur, how are you?"
"eet es miserable out there, but, we will carry on, non?"
Just then Molly announced dinner was ready and they crowded around the groaning table. As the dinner went on Hermione felt herself becoming more and more anxious. She knew Harry wanted to talk to all of them after they were done eating. She had been hungry when they sat down but now she could no nothing more than push the food around on her plate. Eventually she gave up on that all together and dropped her hands into her lap, playing with her napkin.
Fred and George's antics kept most of the attention off of her but Harry must have noticed her change in attitude. He laid an arm on the back of her chair and leaned over to speak quietly in her ear.
"How you holding up?" he asked and she suppressed a shudder as his warm breath tickled the hair on her neck.
"I'm fine...just nervous about later." she said, hands still fidgeting.
With his other hand he reached over and stilled her movements. "Hey, it'll be ok. Everyone here cares about you."
"I know...it's just not easy."
The hand on the back of her chair slid under her hair and gave her neck a comforting squeeze and that time she couldn't stop the catch in her breath.
Harry returned to his meal and when she looked up she was under the knowing stare of Fleur who gave her a small nod. Hermione couldn't help the small blush that filled her cheeks.
When the dishes had been cleared away they all moved into the living room. She felt like her heart was going to pound right out of her chest. She made a beeline for the corner of the couch and sat with her feet curled under her, unconsciously making herself as small as possible. Harry sat next to her and Ron next to him.
Once everyone had settled down Remus turned his attention to Harry. "You said you wished to speak to us, Harry, about things that have been going on at Hogwarts?"
Harry turned to her and held her gaze, asking her permission one last time if he had the go ahead. She hesitated for only a moment and then nodded her consent.
He leaned forward, elbows on knees and had effectively used his body to block her from the majority of the room, only Bill and Fleur who were to her left sharing an arm chair could really see her. She didn't know if Harry's actions were on purpose or not, but she was grateful for them.
"Three nights ago Hermione was attacked during Slughorn's Christmas party." he paused while the expected gasps and exclamations were made.
"Who would do such a thing?" Molly cried
"The person who did the attack was a seventh year Gryffindor by the name of Cormac McLaggen." Harry answered.
"Why do you make it sound as if someone else was involved?" came Remus' quick reply, he didn't miss a thing.
"Because someone else was. Draco Malfoy used a potion on McLaggen that had similar effects to the imperious." he explained "McLaggen then dosed Hermione's drink and took her to an isolated part of the castle." Harry cut himself off here and pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing.
"She was paralyzed. He tortured her. He even...." and for the briefest of seconds Hermione thought he was going to tell them everything. "He even used crucio."
"No!" came the horrified yell of Mrs. Weasley and she was halfway out of her seat to rush to Hermione when Mr. Weasley held out an arm to stop her.
Everyone was quiet and she wished nothing more than for the couch to swallow her whole.
"How ever did you get away from him?" Molly asked, her face pale and worried.
Even though the question had been directed at her, Hermione made no move to answer. She knew she shouldn't have allowed Harry to take on explaining everything but she knew she wouldn't have made it through on her own.
"Ron and I found her in time." he said simply, although she could hear the guilt creep into his voice and he let his head hang down. Out the corner of her eye, she saw Ron drop a hand on his back in understanding, they both still blamed themselves for what had happened.
"Hermione." it was Remus, and he was addressing her directly "Are you alright?"
She hesitated, she knew what she wanted to say, knew she wanted to say that, no, she wasn't alright and didn't know if she ever would be, but she also didn't want them to know everything that had happened to her.
She gave him a tight smile "I'm ok, Remus." he seemed to accept her answer but she felt someone's eyes boring into her and finally turned her head to see the unwavering gaze of Fleur, studying her without concern of being obvious.
"There's something else." Harry said, once again drawing everyone's attention. He reached over and laid a hand over hers "There was a message written on the wall." he swallowed thickly before repeating the terrible words "Even your mudblood whore isn't safe Potter, where will you run to now"
The room was deadly silent and then there was an eruption of noise as they all began talking at once.
She turned in on herself, the noise was overwhelming and she couldn't handle any questions or comments right then even if they were intended to make her feel better.
The conversation continued. Harry answered the questions he could and then began telling them about his suspicions of Malfoy and Snape. As expected he was met with resistance from Remus and the others. Hermione knew he trusted Dumbledore but his hate and distrust of Snape made it very hard.
Everyone agreed that something was happening.
They continued to talk and plan and speculate. Remus filled them in on how he had spent the last few months entrenched with the werewolves. Bill told them about what they were hearing from the goblins and what Charlie was reporting from Romania. Hermione took the opportunity to look around the room and with a start she realized what this was. It was a war room, and Harry was at the center.
With a start she stood up and grabbed her empty tea cup, using it as an excuse to leave the room. She didn't even look at Harry as she passed by him.
She placed the cup in the sink and stood staring out the window into the black. There was a soft dinging sound as tiny pellets of ice pelted the glass. She was so lost in thought that when a hand clamped down on her shoulder she screamed and turned in an instant, wand out, and blasted the person who had surprised her.
Unfortunately it was Mr. Weasley.
Harry and Ron burst through the door, wands drawn, with Bill and Remus right behind them.
She dropped her wand and clamped both hands over her mouth, horrified at what she had done.
"Hermione!" Harry yelled and ran over to her, taking in the room as he did.
Ron looked to see that she was ok and then went to see to his dad who was sitting up slowly and rubbing the back of his head.
"Oh, Arthur!" Molly cried and rushed to his side.
"I'm fine dear, just fine. It was my fault." he said generously
Ginny and Fleur slipped into the room and looked confused.
"No. Mr. Weasley. I'm so...I'm so sorry." Hermione stammered out
Arthur got to his feet and crossed over to her "My dear girl, after what we just learned has happened to you it is I that am sorry. I should have never startled you like that."
Hermione had no idea what to say so she simply nodded.
Molly smiled at her kindly as she came to her husband "Come along dear and lie down, I'll get something for your head." and guided him to the stairs.
Hermione shut her eyes and wished she could just disappear. Harry bent down and picked up her wand, pressing it into her hand when he stood. She didn't want to take it but finally opened her fingers and allowed him to give it to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "It's ok." he said, trying to comfort her but she didn't want him to.
She shrugged out of his hold. "It's not ok!" she said bitingly "I just attacked Mr. Weasley! How can that be ok?!"
"You were caught off guard, thats all." Ron said in tone that did more to enrage her than sooth.
"Oh, `thats all', is it? I almost take your father's head off and thats ok?" she knew she must look and sound like a crazy person but she just didn't care right then.
Harry reached a hand out again but she backed up, not missing the hurt look that crossed his face. "I hate this! I hate feeling like I'm always about to jump out of my own skin!"
Blood was rushing in her head and she just wanted to get out of there but no one seemed willing to let her go.
"I'm sorry, `Mione." Harry said
And at his words she snapped "I know you're sorry! I know that both of you are so very sorry! But `sorry' didn't keep it from happening. `Sorry' didn't keep YOU from walking away from me" she yelled pointing an accusing finger at Ron "and `sorry' didn't keep YOU from letting him almost rape me!" this one directed at Harry.
There was a collective gasp in the room and if she had been in full control of herself she would have stopped the words from coming but it was as if she was outside of her body and she was absolutely incapable of stopping.
Ron looked like he was going to be sick and Harry sagged as if he had been punched in the stomach. She leveled Harry with a glare and delivered the knock out blow "Funny how Harry Potter can manage to save everyone else but me." as soon as the words were out of her mouth it was like she was sucked back into her body. Her eyes went wide in horror and she turned on her heel and dashed out of the room.
She made it as far as the upstairs bathroom before she dove for the toilet and retched all the dinner she had eaten. As she let her head rest on the cool porcelain she shook with regret at the terrible things she had said and didn't try to hold back her tears.
The sound of the water being turned on broke through her reverie and then there was a soft damp cloth wiping down her face and neck. Hermione expected it to be Molly or Ginny and she was shocked when she looked up to see Fleur.
The French girl didn't say anything, just held out a hand to help her out and then guided her back to Ginny's room.
They sat next to each other on Hermione's bed and she wondered why Fleur had followed her of all people.
"When I was in my fifth year I was just learning what it meant to be part Veela. We were home for break and there was a boy in my neighborhood that I liked very much. I was too strong, with my powers and he could not stop. I was very much frightened. He almost...well...my brotherz...they stop him but I was not right for a long time afterwardz."
Hermione was quiet, to know that the same thing had happened to Fleur...it was humbling. "How did you ever feel...feel safe again?"
"It was not ezee" she admitted "but with time...you will feel like yourself again. In fact, you have already begun."
Hermione looked at her in confusion "What do you mean?"
"You were scared and you fought back." she said and Hermione realized she was right, when Mr. Weasley had scared her she didn't cower or run away, she went on the defense and saved herself.
Hermione nodded that she understood and then felt sick to her stomach again as she recalled all the terrible things she had said. She held her head in her hands and groaned. "Fleur, how will they ever forgive me?"
"Zat is ezee. Zey love you."
She lifted her head and looked at the older girl with new eyes, Fleur was actually very nice. "Thank you."
"Eet is nothing." she said with a seemingly detached shrug, but Hermione knew the truth.
"Now, let us go, your boys are waiting for you."
She knew she had to fix the damage she had done, wiping her sweaty palms on her pants before standing up.
Fleur gave her shoulder a supportive squeeze and left the room before her.
Hermione stood at the door and took a deep breath, after what Harry had said to her last night for her to say such awful things to him was unforgivable. She would understand if he never wanted to see her again.
Halfway down the stairs she could tell that the house was mostly quiet, she didn't know where everyone had gone, but sitting alone in a kitchen chair and looking quite forlorn was Ron.
He stood up when he heard her and made his way to the bottom of the stairs. She didn't even think, just rushed down the remaining steps and threw herself at him. He caught her and didn't let her go as she buried her face in his neck and said "I'm sorry." over and over and over again. He didn't set her down and her feet dangled a foot off the ground thanks to his height.
"Please, Ron, can you ever forgive me?" she begged
"Only if you can forgive me." he said into her hair
"Oh, I do. I do. I shouldn't have said that. I don't think it, really! I was just so upset and.."she babbled on until he stopped her
"I know. It's ok." he said sincerely and pulled her closer.
She lifted her head and looked at him, glad to see he no longer looked so sad. "You need to see to Harry now, you know how damned guilty he gets about everything."
She gulped audibly and nodded. He pressed a brotherly kiss to her forehead and sat her on her feet. "He took off outside." he said, directing her towards the door. "Here, take this, it's nasty out." and pressed an old coat of Bill or Charlie's that had been hanging on a peg into her hands.
Before she put it on though she turned to him "Do you think he'll forgive me?"
Ron just laughed "Of course he will, you're Hermione." and then he turned to leave.
Slipping the coat over her shoulders it swallowed her up immediately but it was warm. She tugged the folds around her she stepped out into the winter night, it was snowing now.
She followed faint footsteps around to the garden and saw him, sitting as still as a statue on an old tree stump, serving his self imposed penance.
A fine layer of snow now sat on his head but he didn't seem to notice the cold.
She approached him from his side and knew he had seen her when he tensed. She had no idea what to say, for once Hermione Granger was left speechless.
Stopping about five feet from him neither of them spoke and the silence stretched on until finally she couldn't take it any longer.
"Oh Harry!" she exclaimed and threw herself on him, hoping he wouldn't reject her.
His seeker reflexes kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, clutching her to him so fiercely she thought a rib might crack.
She was overjoyed at his reaction. Much like with Ron she began apologizing, profusely. He didn't say a word, just held on to her like a lifeline. "I can't believe I said something so terrible! I'm so so sorry!" she cried
"You didn't say anything that wasn't true." he said finally
"Harry! You can't mean that!" abhorred at what she had done to him "You did save me. You did!"
"Pure luck that Ron saw you and that I had the map, thats all." he said dismissively
"If not for that we wouldn't have known you were missing for..."but his voice choked on the thought and he couldn't finish.
"You can't do this! You can't play the `what if' game. Because if we're going to do that then I have to take my share of the blame as well."
"No! You didn't do anything wrong." he said, almost angrily
"Didn't I? I went out with McLaggen for the sole purpose of making Ron mad. That obviously could have been avoided. I'm the one that put myself in that situation."
"Hermione, I mean it, you have to stop, you cannot blame yourself."
"But, I..."
"Stop!" he yelled, cutting her off "If you can't stop for yourself then you need to stop for me, ok?"
"Ok," she conceded
"Everything has changed." he said, "Earlier tonight, in that living room, everyone was looking to me! It was surreal. But I have to accept that this is how things are going to be, that this is a war we're in the middle of. And like I told you the other day, you're the reason. You're my reason for doing what I'm doing." he took a shuddering breath.
"I can't do this without you." he said, half-sobbing
"You won't have to." she promised, grabbing his face between her hands "I will be with you, every step."
"I wouldn't have it any other way. But you have to stay safe...I can't....I can't even imagine." and he trailed off, seriously frightened at the thought of her being hurt.
"You have to stay safe too, you're irreplaceable." he began to protest but she stopped him. "It's true. And I will do my best, but no more coddling. I need to put this behind me and I can't do that if you're constantly trying to fix me." she said seriously
"I'll try, `Mione." he conceded, although he didn't look overly happy with the idea.
"Thank you" she said and pulled him in for another hug.
He buried his face in her neck this time and she shrieked as he put his cold nose on her. "Harry!" she yelled and swatted at his arm
He peeked an eye at her and winked before pulling her in again "Don't you dare do that again!" she demanded
"I promise, I won't do it again." he said with mock sincerity.
And he was true to his word, however, instead of messing with her she felt his warm lips press a kiss into her neck.
A shot of desire went straight through her and she gasped, reeling back from him as she did. `Where did that come from?' she questioned.
Her heart was pounding and she didn't think she could feel her extremities. Harry was frozen in place and she couldn't read the look on his face. "Harry?" she said tentatively
"I'm sorry `Mione...I didn't mean...I mean...I" he stammered, truly looking as if he had not planned on that happening.
"It's ok, don't worry about it." she said, hoping to reassure him.
"Are you sure...I mean...I"
"I'm sure. No harm done."
Harry looked everywhere but her eyes and she took a step back until they weren't touching anymore. "Let's go back." she said "You're freezing."
"Are you sure..." he started again, but she cut him off
"Yes! I'm sure! Don't worry about it." and as if to prove it to both of them she slipped her arm through him and gave him a tug.
He resisted at first but eventually followed her lead, looking a little more like himself.
As they stepped back into the Burrow the clock went off. It was midnight.
"Happy Christmas, Harry." she said, and before she could lose her nerve stood on tiptoe to kiss him on the cheek.