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Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Barton Fink
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Once Bitten, Twice Shy

Barton Fink

Hermione trod carefully as she allowed Ron to lead her by the hand through the throng that surrounded the freshly dug graves that served as a reminder to all the survivors just how fine the line was between life and death. It was a beautiful late spring morning and as her eyes took in the wooded surroundings she became aware of the constant trill of birdsong that chorused from the larks and sparrows that perched in the treetops. The song sounded joyful; an almost blasphemous choir on this most solemn of days. She nodded a few terse acknowledgements to those that greeted her with a smile or a wave. To the Weasleys and to Minerva; to Kingsley and to Hagrid and to a few of the others who had come to pay their last respects to Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. She hesitantly cast her eyes towards an isolated figure standing with a child in her arms. Andromeda Tonks and Teddy Lupin; one who had lost both a husband and a daughter; the other now an orphan - too young to appreciate his predicament. She felt the first tears smart at her eyes as she considered the plight of Teddy and her thoughts turned to another orphan; one who was her dearest friend and one who was not in attendance this fine morning.

She finally reached the graveside and raised a questioning eyebrow towards Minerva. The headmistress seemed to understand her unspoken question for she merely shrugged and gestured with her head towards a Ministry official who was waiting to start proceedings. The man looked nervous; it seemed like he had been waiting for her and Ron to arrive before starting.

And Harry too, of course.

She couldn't believe that he wasn't here; that he would elect to absent himself from the burial of a dear friend - friends. She felt a growing sense of annoyance as the official shuffled his feet, unsure as to whether or not to begin without the "guest of honour." To calm herself, she allowed her eyes to pass over the crowd and take in the numerous people present. Out of the corner of her eye, Hermione saw Ginny watching her carefully, her face an inscrutable mask and she felt a surge of sympathy for her red-haired friend. The past few days had not been easy for anyone, but Ginny had felt abandoned when Harry had left so abruptly. She knew that unresolved issues lay between the two of them and she hoped that Harry finally had the sense to do something about it - to finally start living. She gave her friend a small nod and was pleased to see Ginny offer a small smile in return.

She turned her attention away from the Weasleys and nearly cried out as she spotted the last three people she expected to see here today.

The Malfoys.

They were somehow standing alone in a vast crowd; shunned as if contaminated in some way. They stood straight of back and expressionless and she remembered that Tonks had been the niece of Narcissa.

That must be why they are here.

No one knew what to do with them. Their past sins were well known but she had heard that Kingsley was unsure about how to deal with them because he had somehow heard that Narcissa had assisted Harry. She knew that a lot of people were waiting for Harry to tell his tale - rumour was rife and the speculation in the Prophet was getting ridiculous - no version of events seemed too outlandish for Rita Skeeter. It was yet another reason that Harry should not have left, in her opinion.

She turned as the Ministry official finally cleared his throat in preparation to begin and felt a sudden surge of anger at Harry for not attending the funeral of such dear friends. This feeling was soon halted however; halted by a sudden commotion among the onlookers. She turned to the source of the murmuring and watched in astonishment as the throng began separate, creating a passage almost like Moses parting the Red Sea.

Harry.

It could be for no other reason and her suspicions were proved correct when the crowd parted enough to reveal a very sheepish looking Harry Potter as he hesitantly made his way to the graveside. He was being thrust forward by a few hands from the crowd, his reluctance to take centre stage obvious.

At least; it is obvious to me.

The crowd at this particular point were made up of Aurors - friends and colleagues of Tonks - and as they parted they formed what looked like a guard of honour as Harry self-consciously made his way through the throng. He approached with his head down, doing his best to ignore the stares and she shook her head in exasperation as she realised that he had been trying to hang back unnoticed. He should have known that this was impossible under the circumstances. The reaction of the onlookers was predictable yet still strangely astonishing. The murmuring had stopped and now the crowd were regarding Harry in reverential silence - even awe. As he neared, he finally looked up and their eyes met and she would never forget the expression on his face. He looked composed but his eyes were almost pleading for release. She knew he had never been comfortable with his fame but she was also acutely aware that what he had experienced up to now was nothing compared to the maelstrom that was heading his way after his triumph over Voldemort.

To her surprise, she found that she was nervous as he approached. Their last words had been spoken in anger and she still wasn't sure if they were back on normal terms. Her fears were allayed however as Harry finally arrived next to her and - without saying a word - he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He nodded briefly to Ron then turned and faced the Ministry Official, almost as if giving his consent to begin. He did not let go of her hand.

She would never admit to anyone that she could not remember a word that was said by the official that day. She tried to listen, but her thoughts were concentrated solely on her friend standing next to her, holding her hand. On more than one occasion, she surreptitiously glanced at him and noticed that he did not cry. Instead, she saw that he frequently cast furtive glances in the direction of Teddy Lupin.

His Godson.

It was this thought crashing into her mind that finally proved to be the catalyst that allowed her own grief to flow. She thought of Teddy, now an orphan and as much a victim of Voldemort as anyone and this realisation led her to think of all the victims; all of the shattered lives and sudden, violent deaths. Inevitably, her thoughts turned to her parents, living in Australia and oblivious of her existence. She realised how much she needed them and so her tears finally flowed unchecked as she let out all the grief and fear she was enduring. Her vision was blurred as the official finally finished and the mortal remains of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks were laid to rest. She was aware only that Harry had drawn her into a tight, comforting embrace and that Ron had released his hold on her to allow him to do so. For once, she allowed herself the release of tears and sank into the embrace of her best friend. Not a soul stirred; not a sound could be heard as the onlookers contemplated the final resting place of two cherished friends.

The silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity before it was finally broken by Harry who gently released her before slowly approaching the graves and picking up a handful of dirt. He cut a solitary figure as he looked down on the coffin of Remus Lupin and - without saying a word - he gently sprinkled some of the dirt over the remains of his friend before repeating the gesture over the grave of Tonks. He stood in silence for a few moments longer before shaking his head as if awakening from a dream and heading straight towards Andromeda Tonks. The crowd suddenly let out a deep sigh, almost as if it had been holding its breath and Hermione was shaken from her thoughts back into the moment. She grabbed Ron's hand before dragging him along with her as she made for Harry and Andromeda. It briefly occurred to her that she had no right to intrude on a private conversation but she was also aware of a need to be close to Harry - almost an instinct to keep him safe. She felt the eyes on the crowd on her as she reached Andromeda just as Harry did. He turned in surprise but did not demur at her presence. Instead, he turned back to Andromeda and regarded her gravely. She turned her attention to Teddy's Grandmother as well and was struck by the dignity Andromeda was displaying.

But then; she is a Black, isn't she? She married a Muggle and she rejected the Dark, but she's still a Black.

Andromeda stood tall as she cradled her grandson in her arms. Her features were grief stricken but no tears flowed from her eyes and she regarded Harry with a questioning look. Finally, Harry cleared his throat awkwardly.

`May I offer you my condolences, Mrs Tonks?' he said quietly.

`Thank you, Mr Potter. Harry,' Andromeda replied, emphasising his forename. `Please; call me Andromeda. "Mrs Tonks" makes me feel old and I need to be young,' she added, gesturing with her head to the child in her arms. An awkward silence ensued as Harry decided what to do next and Andromeda must have sensed his discomfort as she took the initiative and smiled gently.

`My daughter and Remus told me of their decision to make you Teddy's Godfather, Harry. I take it this is why you wish to speak to me?'

Harry nodded. `It is,' he replied, his voice thick. `I…I just wanted you to know that I am here if you or Teddy need anything - anything at all. I…I would like to be a part of Teddy's life. I want you to know that even though I am only seventeen, I take my oaths seriously. When Remus asked me I knew that being Godfather to Teddy might one day prove more than a mere ceremonial role.' He hesitated and looked at his feet. `I know what it is like to be an orphan. He is lucky to have you, Andromeda. But I am asking your permission to allow me to be a part of his life too.' He looked Andromeda in the eye before continuing. `I don't think it is possible to have too much love in your life. Dumbledore taught me that. Remus did too, in his own way. Will you allow me to help? To love Teddy?'

Hermione felt the tears begin to fall again at hearing Harry's appeal and she noticed that for the first time that day, tears began to roll down the cheeks of Andromeda Tonks too. But Andromeda was smiling as she cried.

`Oh, Harry. As if you even need to ask. You were chosen for a reason, Harry. Both Nymphadora and Remus wanted you to be Teddy's Godfather because they both loved and respected you. Do you think I would gainsay their choice? After everything you have done? I would be honoured if you agree to be a part of Teddy's life. I can offer him much but he will need a man in his life, Harry. A role model; a father figure. I cannot think of anyone more worthy. Thank you.'

Harry nodded at her words and Hermione saw the relief in his eyes and the sadness too. He stood awkwardly for a moment, gazing at Andromeda before he turned his attention to Teddy.

`Can I…may I…hold him?' he asked and to Hermione, he sounded like the small child that she had first met seven years ago. The boy who believed he needed permission to receive anything. She felt her tears increase as Andromeda's smile widened.

`Of course you can, Harry,' she replied before gently passing Teddy towards him. She took a few moments to show him the correct way to hold an infant and at first it was obvious that Harry was holding the child almost as if he was made of the most fragile glass.

`He won't break, Harry. He's quite a robust little fellow,' said Andromeda. `Just relax and Teddy will relax too.'

Harry flashed Andromeda a smile before turning his attention to the child cradled in his arms. Hermione could see that Teddy was looking up at the strange face with wide eyes. Harry just stared back and didn't move until his finger was wrapped in the tiny hand of the infant. She felt a flowering in her heart at the sight and took comfort with the sudden knowledge that life would go on. Teddy represented the future, the promise of better times and of a generation who would grow up without the shadow of Voldemort. One day this child would learn that his Godfather did more than anyone else to remove this shadow; would learn that his parents had died fighting that same evil, but for now he seemed content to stare wide eyed at the strange face and tug contentedly on Harry's index finger. She watched as Harry gently lowered his head and planted a soft kiss on Teddy's forehead. For some reason she imagined him doing the same with his own child and for a brief moment, she found herself standing next to Harry, embracing him and "their" son. She flushed, wondering where such an image had come from. She shook herself free of the thought as Harry spoke again.

`Thank you,' he whispered as he passed the child back to his grandmother. `Just let me know if you ever need anything.'

Andromeda smiled again and made to reply but her attention was diverted by the approach of Kingsley and Minerva.

`Minister,' Andromeda said tersely, unhappy at the interruption.

`Forgive me, Andromeda,' began Kingsley in his rich voice. `I do not wish to intrude. Can I speak first as a friend rather than as Minister? Can I offer you my condolences? Tonk…Nymphadora was a dear friend and colleague to me. Ted was a fine man too. I am so sorry for your loss.'

Andromeda's expression softened. `Thank you, Kingsley. I appreciate that. I know that Dora thought very highly of you.' Her expression turned quizzical for a moment, her eyes shrewd. `Is there something else? Is there something you need to discuss as Minister rather than as a friend?'

Kingsley looked uncomfortable for a moment. `Perhaps now is not the time,' he began. `It is just that I have some information regarding the estate of Remus. I wanted to arrange a more convenient time to discuss this with you.' He turned to Harry. `You too,' he added.

`Me?' asked Harry, mystified.

Kingsley nodded. `Remus approached me some time ago with instructions about what to do in the event of his death. He appointed me executor of his estate - his and Tonk…I mean Dora's,' he added hastily as he noticed the beady look Andromeda was giving him.

Harry took a moment to digest this news. `I don't mean to be rude,' he finally said, `but I didn't think Remus had much to leave to anyone.'

Kingsley nodded soberly. `He didn't have much, Harry. He struggled all his life because of his…condition. But he did have a few items that he has left to Teddy. I will not go into details here but he has appointed both you and Andromeda as Trustees until Teddy comes of age - if you are willing, that is.'

`Of course I am willing,' said Harry.

`Good.' He hesitated for a few moments. `I would also like the chance to discuss what happened…' he could not finish.

Harry sighed. `What happened the night I killed Voldemort?' he asked with resignation. Kingsley looked extremely uncomfortable.

`I'm sorry, Harry. This is a bad time. But we must talk - there is a lot of rumour and gossip and it is not helping us to begin the rebuilding process. I need to know what happened in order to proceed. The Malfoys, for example…' he shook his head in despair. `I hate to ask this of you, Harry. I hope you know that I am a friend to you. But I am Minister too and I have new responsibilities.'

Harry felt his resentment dissipate as he regarded Kingsley. He could see the sadness in the elder man's eyes and he suspected that this sadness was because his friend had finally realised that his life would never be the same again. He was not Kingsley anymore; he was Minister and Harry reckoned that he would not have wanted the position or the attention that it brought. No; Kingsley would only have agreed to the appointment because he knew no one else - at least no one worthy - was available.

Good men got the heaviest burdens.

`It's OK, Kingsley,' he finally replied. `I understand. Perhaps better than you realise. I don't know when it will be convenient though. We can hardly do it here,' he added, smiling as he did so to take the sting out of his words.

Kingsley smiled too and looked around as the crowd slowly departed from the graveside, the vast majority casting furtive glances towards the little group standing around Andromeda and Teddy. He hesitated for a moment and cast a glance towards Ron before continuing.

`I know Molly and Arthur have invited people to the Burrow after Fred's funeral tomorrow,' he began quietly. `Might it be possible to discuss the matter there? I know that I am not the only one who wishes to hear the story but it is of course up to you who you decide to inform.' He turned to Andromeda. `We can go over Remus' request at a more convenient time, if that is OK?'

`That is acceptable, Kingsley. Just inform me when you are free,' replied Andromeda. All eyes turned back to Harry he was obviously deep in thought.

`Tomorrow at the Burrow is fine with me. That is…' he turned to Ron a questioning look on his face.

Ron regarded him gravely. `I know I want all the details, Harry. And mum and dad will definitely want to hear everything.' He looked at his feet. `Perhaps tomorrow is appropriate. Then they will know that Fred didn't die in vain.' He looked up again. `I think it would be a fitting memorial for him,' he added, his voice beginning to crack.

The two friends shared a look that was only interrupted when Hermione put her arms around Ron and embraced him tightly. Everyone else present took a moment to regain their composure.

Kingsley looked at Ron gravely. `Thank you, Ron. That is a noble sentiment. I shall speak to your parents.' He turned to the others. `I will not take up any more of your time for the present. My apologies for bringing the matter up here. Good day to you all,' he added with a curt nod before departing. All eyes followed him briefly before turning to Minerva who had stood patiently waiting her turn.

`Andromeda? Allow me to offer you my condolences. They will both be sadly missed. Ted too,' the headmistress added sadly.

`Thank you, Minerva,' replied Andromeda. `Thank you for coming.'

Minerva dismissed this with a wave of her hand before continuing. `Do you mind if I borrow these three for a few moments?' she asked, gesturing at Harry, Hermione and Ron.

`Not at all. I have a number of people to speak to. Please; carry on.'

They took their leave of Andromeda and followed Minerva to a quiet spot under a nearby sycamore tree. Minerva glanced around before speaking.

`I have made arrangements for Sunday,' she began without preamble. `I have created a secure room in the castle dungeons that should prove sufficient,' she added, regarding Hermione with a sympathetic look.

Hermione suddenly felt sick at the news; as if somehow the preparation made everything seem more real. Minerva seemed to sense her distress.

`There is a still a chance that it will not prove necessary, but we must take precautions.'

Hermione nodded. `I know, and thank you.' She looked at her feet.

Harry noticed her distress and felt pained himself. `Is it totally necessary?' he asked. `Can we not give her some Wolfesbane potion?'

`Not for her first change, Harry,' replied Minerva. `We must establish the full extent of the curse and so we must let it run its course. Hopefully, there will be no need for the potion on future nights.' Her face took on a curious look for a moment. `Besides; Severus was the only truly skilled potion master able enough to make the potion to the highest levels.' The question in her voice as she said the name of her former colleague was obvious. `We might have some in his old storeroom but the potion does not age well. I fear it will not be as effective as it should be. We must brew some more but it will not be as good.' She sighed. `I am sorry to bring this up here but I thought you would rather know and I wasn't sure if I would get a chance to talk in private later. I hope you understand.'

Hermione nodded. `We do understand. And thank you.' She glanced at Harry and narrowed her eyes at him trying to convey a message. Thankfully, he seemed to understand.

`Professor?' Harry began. `There are some things you need to know about…Severus. About everything,' he added. `I will be going over it all with Kingsley tomorrow at the Burrow. I think you ought to be there too. There are things you need to know.'

Minerva looked on him for a long moment, her surprise at Harry's use of Snape's given name obvious. `I am grateful, Harry,' she finally replied. `I must admit that I am deeply curious as to what you meant when you told Voldemort that Severus was Dumbledore's man all along. If this is true then he did a very good job of hiding the fact. I would like to know if I have misjudged him.'

`You did misjudge him. We all did. He was on our side all along. You deserve to know the truth, Professor. Severus deserves the truth to be recognised.'

Minerva regarded him again before speaking. `In that case, I will see you all tomorrow.' She smiled. `Good day to you all,' she added before striding off.

The three friends turned to each other, all lost in thought. Hermione could sense a new awkwardness between them and suddenly realised that there were still a few things to be straightened out. She noticed that Harry was looking at his feet and that Ron was looking at the tree branches overhead as if he had suddenly developed an interest in ornithology. She took a deep breath.

`Harry?' she began. `I'm sorr:-`

`Don't,' interrupted Harry, without looking up. `Don't tell me you are sorry. You don't need to; you have nothing to be sorry for.'

`But I said terrible things to you.'

He finally met her eye. `You spoke the truth, Hermione. You always speak the truth. I understand why you were angry with me. Had the roles been revered then I would be angry with you too. I did not leave because of our argument. I just needed to be on my own for a bit - I needed to sort a few things out with myself. For what it's worth, I'm feeling much better.' He paused as he considered his next words. `But I hope you understand why I went off to face him alone. It wasn't because I didn't need you. Or Ron. You know that, don't you?' His question was almost a plea.

`I know that, Harry,' she replied. A long silence ensued as each contemplated what had been exchanged; a silence finally broken by Ron.

`You two are forgetting that I'm not as sharp as you,' he said with a smile. `I have no idea why you went to face him on your own. If it were me in your shoes then I would have caught the first boat to Bolivia and to hell with Voldemort and everything.' His expression turned serious. `I don't have a problem with what you did, Harry, but I am curious. Why didn't you come and see us first? Even to say goodbye?'

Hermione thought she knew the answer to that and waited for Harry to confirm her suspicions. He took his time before replying.

`Two reasons,' her friend finally said.

`Two?' asked Ron.

`Yeah. First, I didn't want to risk the two of you demanding to come with me. I would have had to have stunned you or something to stop you from joining me. I needed to die; you two didn't.'

`And?'

`And I don't think I would have been able to make that walk if I saw either of you. You would have tried to talk me out of it and I would have listened because I was terrified. I wouldn't have been able to say goodbye; you both mean too much to me.' He looked directly at Ron and smiled. `I would have been on that boat to Bolivia with you. I'd have rowed there if given the chance.'

Hermione watched with pride as the two men she loved more than life itself regarded each other. What she could see between them was something that they would never say aloud but she knew it was there nonetheless. They loved each other like brothers and she considered herself blessed to have them both in her life. She felt a sense of peace at Harry's admission. Her suspicions had proved to be correct and it was with a sense of awe that she now contemplated the sacrifice he had been willing to make for them all. She felt the tears run down her cheeks again and was suddenly startled as the two of them turned to face her.

`What?' they asked in unison. `What's wrong?' added Ron.

She didn't reply. Instead she shook her head at them both and smiled before embracing them together and dashing off to be on her own for a few moments. She did not see the bemused expressions on the faces of her friends as they turned to face one another.

`Mental,' said Ron. `Totally mental, that one.'

Harry's smile broadened and he let out a deep, rumbling laugh.

`Yeah; absolutely bonkers. But she's your girlfriend, Ron. So you need to ask yourself who the mental one really is.'

For once, Ron didn't have a response to a jest made at his expense. He struggled for a pithy reply for a few moments before grinning sheepishly.

`You've got me there,' he finally replied.

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