Harry cleared his throat nervously and looked down to the bottle in his hands.
"Harry? Is there something wrong?" Hermione put a comforting hand on his shoulder and Harry turned to meet her gaze.
"I wanted to thank you for making me realize that there was more to life than what I had lost." He started quietly. "With Sirius' death, it felt like there wasn't anything else in this world that could bring me happiness." He looked to the floor but Hermione caught his chin with a tender touch and pulled his face towards hers so their eyes were locked again.
"Harry, you don't have to thank me for that. You'll never have to thank me for being there for you." She said empathetically.
Harry smiled at her words. Before Hermione knew what he was doing, Harry was kissing her. Her eyes went wide as pure electricity seemed to course from her lips to her heart. She could feel an exciting warmth spread through her body and every inch of her skin rippled with gooseflesh. She lost herself in his soft lips and felt her lips moving of their own accord.
Why doesn't Ron kiss this sweetly? She asked as her eyes began to close. She began to move her hands up his sides and her eyes went wide. RON! Fighting to control herself, Hermione gently pushed the young man in front of her away.
Oh, Harry! Why didn't we talk sooner? She cried to herself.
"Harry, I-I'm sorry, but s-stop."
I don't want to stop, don't listen to me!
He blinked at her in confusion. "Hermione ..."
"Harry ... I-I can't." She stood abruptly and her bottle of butterbeer rolled off her lap and shattered on the stone floor.
"But ... But I was just trying to show you how much I care for you ..." He tried to catch her eye but she glanced away and stepped back.
"I'm really ... f-flattered, Harry, but ... but ..." She stammered.
"But what?" He asked incredulously.
Hermione felt a pang of guilt lodge in her throat and her face was burning with embarrassment. She didn't look at him. "I'm ... I'm dating ... Ron, Harry ..."
Harry looked at her dumbstruck. "You ... You and Ron?" He asked stupidly. "H-How ... How long?"
Hermione's head bowed. "Just before we went to Grimmauld Place, Harry." She said quietly. There were tears streaking down her cheeks. "We thought it would be best if we kept it a secret from you until you were feeling better ..."
"Oh." He said quietly. "I'm sorry I forced myself on you."
Harry, no, you didn't ... Why can't I just tell him? She cried to herself ... Because I'll hurt Ron ...
Hermione shook her head. "It's ok, Harry, you ... you didn't know." She looked back nervously. "Are you ok? Are you ok with Ron and me?"
Harry sighed. "I'll be fine." He said. He looked at her with a forced smile. "If it wasn't me, then I'm glad it was Ron."
He's forcing his smiles, he's hiding his feelings ...
Hermione looked at him skeptically. "Are we ok, Harry?"
He forced another smile and stood to give her a quick hug. Before she had a chance to return the embrace or move away, he pulled back and released her. "We'll be fine." He said quietly. "Why don't you go on back to Ron, I'm sure he's wondering if I've kidnapped you or something."
"Harry, I know when you're forcing your smiles ..." She said hesitantly and started towards him but he held up a hand.
"J-just give me a little time, ok? I need to absorb all of this ..." He said with a trembling voice. "I should clean up before I go to bed."
Hermione felt her heart break at the sound of his voice and couldn't hide the pained look on her face. Even though she wanted to reach out and hug him, to tell him that it was ok, she nodded slowly. "Ok." She said at last. "I hope you're not mad at me and we can stay ... friends."
Friends ... Is that what I really want?
Harry smiled genuinely. "You'll always be my friend, Hermione." He said as a tear tried to escape to his cheek. He turned away from her and she felt her heart sink further. "I'll see you guys in the morning. Tell Ron that I'm sorry I skived on that wizard's chess match ..."
Hermione nodded. "Ok, Harry. I'll see you in the morning?"
Harry nodded. "See you on Christmas." He said as cheerfully as he could.
Hermione looked at him concernedly but left the room as he had requested. When the door had shut, she leaned against the wall and buried her face in her hands.
Why? Why didn't he tell me earlier? She began weeping. Harry, I don't want to lose you ...
She wiped away her tears and looked at the bare stretch of wall that held the door to the room of requirement safely from view. She sniffed away another batch of tears and walked slowly back to the Gryffindor common room.
Before she entered she made herself presentable, she didn't want to make Ron jealous or upset if he noticed she'd been crying. "Mugwump." She said to the fat lady and climbed through the portrait hole once the entrance was open.
"Hey, Hermione!" Ron said with a smile from the sofa. "Have a good chat with Harry?"
Hermione nodded slowly and made her way to the offered seat next to him.
"I hope he's in the mood for some chess, I've been itching for at least a little competition ..."
Hermione brought her fingers to her lips and the feeling of kissing Harry vividly came to mind. She could remember every sensation, every jolt, every heart flutter, everything about their kiss seemed almost magical. She looked over at the gibbering Ron. Yes, he seemed to be gibbering after the conversation she'd had with Harry.
Harry ... Could it be that I ...
Hermione stiffened as a cold breeze blew across her neck.
What was that? She looked out the window. Why do I feel like I'm suddenly ...
"What's wrong, Hermione?" Ron asked after he realized his girlfriend wasn't talking anymore.
Hermione looked at him curiously. "I don't know." She said quietly. "I ... I ... oh, it's silly." She said with a wave of her hand.
"Come on, Hermione, you can tell me. You look like something's been on your mind since you talked with Harry." Ron said seriously.
A far away look settled in Hermione's eyes. "I can't explain it." She said so softly she wasn't sure she'd actually said it. "But I suddenly feel ... alone."
Ron smiled. "You're not alone, Hermione. I'm right here." He kissed her on the cheek and smiled when she cringed, thinking he'd hit a ticklish spot when he leaned in. "And tomorrow, you'll be here with Ginny, me, and Harry opening presents."
She shook her head and smiled. "I know you're right." She sighed deeply and looked out the window at the twinkling Dog Star. "I guess I'm just imagining things."
But why do I suddenly feel so empty?
She stood slowly and stretched. "I'm tired, Ron, I think I'm going to go to bed. See you in the morning?"
See you in the morning? See you in the morning? See you in the morning?
Hermione shook her head.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Ron asked concernedly. Hermione jumped when she realized that he was standing right in front of her. "Hermione?"
She brought a hand to her racing heart. "I got lost in thought for a second ... You scared the life out of me!"
Ron grinned sheepishly. "Sorry." He said quietly. "I was saying that I may as well go to bed too. Goodnight, Hermione." He leaned in for a kiss and got her cheek instead of her lips. Ron opened his eyes and stared at her in confusion. "Hermione?"
She smiled at him timidly and pulled him into a quick hug. "I'm just really tired, Ron, goodnight."
Before Ron could react or go in for another kiss, Hermione was up the stairs to the girl's dormitories.
This isn't fair to Ron, not at all ... Why didn't I see this sooner? She sighed heavily after she was ready for bed and looked to the sleeping form of Ginny in the bed next to hers. She smiled at her young friend and crawled under the warm covers of her own bed. A house elf must have put a bed warmer under the duvet because the warmth was divine. She sighed contentedly and closed her eyes and within a few minutes she was asleep.
"Psst. Hey, Hermione!"
"Hmm? Harry?"
"Aren't you going to open your eyes?"
Hermione opened her eyes and looked up. She saw Harry sitting quietly on the edge of her bed smiling at her.
"Harry? How'd you get into the girl's dormitory?"
He smiled at her and ran his cupped hand over her cheek lovingly. "I flew in through the window." He said with a grin.
"Harry, you know you can't be up here, if McGonagall catches you ..."
"Don't worry, Hermione, I'll be fine." He said softly. Hermione looked into his glittering green orbs and felt herself drawn to him. She sat up and took his face in her soft hands and pulled him in for a kiss. She didn't feel his lips on hers and she opened her eyes in confusion.
"Harry?"
He was looking at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Hermione, but I've got to go ..."
"What? Why do you have to go?" She asked curiously. "There's nobody else here and Ginny sleeps like a log."
Harry laughed quietly. "I know she does, it seems she's inherited the same snoring gene that Ron has ..." His smiled faded and he looked at her with love in his eyes as he stood. "Watch over Ron and Ginny for me?" He asked simply.
"What?" She was thoroughly confused. "Harry come over here and tell me what you're talking about!"
He smiled at her longingly but shook his head. "I have to go now. Mum's calling me." He looked out the window to the twinkling Dog Star that was still visible. "I'll tell Sirius you said hi."
"Harry! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Fear gripped her heart and she tried to get out of bed but it seemed like the blankets were made of lead and she couldn't move.
"Just remember that I love you, Hermione, I always will." He said softly and faded from sight.
"HAAAARRRRRYYYYY!" She screamed as she sat bolt upright in her bed. Ginny was fumbling with the curtains of her four-poster.
"Hermione, what's wrong?" The frustrated red-head got the curtains open at last and rushed to her screaming friend's side.
"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked in a state of hysterics. "Where is he? He was just here!" Hermione got out of bed and looked around the dark room frantically.
"Hermione, you were screaming in your sleep." Ginny said quietly. "Nobody's been here but you and me."
Hermione sat on her bed and buried her face in her hands before she started weeping. "Ginny, what am I going to do? What can I do?"
Ginny sat next to her friend and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong?"
Hermione turned to her young friend and pulled her into a hug. She couldn't stop the tears and cried on Ginny's shoulder. "Ginny, I don't know what to do ... I-I think I might be in love with Harry ..."
Ginny stroked Hermione's hair and whispered quietly to her. "It's ok, Hermione, but I was wondering what was taking you so long..."
Hermione looked into her friend's face. "What?"
Ginny smiled softly at her. "There aren't many people who haven't noticed how much you love him, Hermione." She said bluntly. "Everyone, that is, except my dolt brother."
"Oh, Ginny, what am I going to do about Ron?" She was back on the verge of tears again and Ginny smiled at her reassuringly.
"You'll just have to tell him the truth, Hermione." She cooed to her gently. "Is that what Harry wanted to talk to you about tonight?"
Hermione began to cry again but nodded.
"Why are you crying then? You love him and he loves you ..."
"I-I turned him down ..." She choked out.
"What? What possessed you to do that?" Ginny's eyes were wide with shock. "You didn't use the 'let's be friends' bit, did you?"
The increased tears and shaking of her shoulders told Ginny that she had. Without another word, the young Weasley pulled Hermione into a comforting hug and rubbed her back. "Shh, it'll be ok, talk to him tomorrow, it'll sort itself out."
Hermione sniffed. "I hope so." She said quietly. "Ginny, I just had the strangest dream ..."
"Oh?"
"I dreamt that Harry was here, he told me to look over you and Ron ..." Her heart couldn't take it and the tears began to flow again. "He ... He said that he'd say hi to Sirius for me ... Ginny, I didn't tell anyone but he expressed suicidal thoughts at Grimmauld Place ... What if ... What if I ..." She broke down completely at the thought.
"Hermione! Don't ever think that!" Ginny scolded. "Harry would never do that to us, NEVER!"
"I ... I guess you're right." Hermione sniffed uncertainly. "But it seemed so real ... It was like he was really here, Gin."
"It was a vivid dream, Hermione. Come on, get back to sleep." She said comfortingly. "Talk to Harry tomorrow and we'll get things all sorted out, ok?"
Hermione nodded sleepily and climbed back under the covers. She looked sheepishly at Ginny. "Would you mind sleeping here?" Her eyes pleaded with her friend. "I-I don't want to be alone ..."
Ginny smiled softly. "Sure. Just don't kick me or anything; I've seen how you react to your dreams ..."
Hermione choked out a laugh. "I'm not that active."
"Oh, I beg to differ." Ginny laughed in reply as she slipped under the covers. "Christmas is only a few hours away, let's get some sleep, ok?"
Hermione smiled and nodded her agreement. "Ok."
The two girls slipped back to sleep easily. The emotional stress Hermione was under seemed to drain her of any ability to keep awake. She started dreaming again, but this time Harry wasn't there. She and Ron were walking down the halls when she heard Hagrid scream out in anguish.
She snapped awake. "Huh?"
Ginny was looking at her sleepily. "Are you shouting again?"
Hermione looked back at her red-headed friend and stifled a laugh.
"What?" Ginny asked in irritation and she reached up to feel her hair. "Oh, Ha, Ha, Ha!" She said sarcastically and lay back down.
There was a soft knock on the door.
"Miss Granger? Miss Weasley?" Professor McGonagall called from the open door.
"Yes?" The two girls replied in unison.
"I ... I think you should come with me ... There's been an ..." The older woman stifled a sob that caused Hermione to become fully awake. "There's been an accident."
"Harry?" Hermione said softly.
"Please get dressed and come to the hospital wing." Their professor said softly and left the room.
"No ... No ... It can't be ..." Hermione ripped the blankets off of her and bolted out the door at a full run. She slammed the portrait open and nearly fell through the trick step in her desperate attempt to reach the hospital wing of Hogwarts.
She got to the half-open door and heard Hagrid's anguished sobs coming from inside and her heart fell through the floor. She didn't slow down and the glass in the door shattered when she whipped it open.
Her hands shot to her mouth and her knees gave out at what she saw. Lying in the bed in front of her was Harry's broken body. His once fair skin was blue and frostbitten; his lips were purple and bruised. He had a heavy bandage covering the top of his skull and his head was supported by a collar of some sort. She found the strength to stand and with each shaking step made it to his bedside.
"Harry?" She asked tentatively. He didn't move. "HARRY?! WAKE UP!" She grabbed at his shoulders but was pulled back by strong arms.
"I'm sorry, Hermione ... He's in a coma ..." Dumbledore tried to sound strong but he couldn't stop the tremor in his voice.
Hermione looked at Harry and put her hand to his lips. "Why don't I feel his breath?" She asked in shock. "What happened? Who did this?" She took his hand in hers and felt the ice-cold flesh it had become.
Hagrid fell to his knees and wailed unabashedly in his hands. Hermione glanced at him and back to Harry. "Why's he so cold?" She looked frantically at Dumbledore who had his face buried in his hands.
"Hagrid found him at the base of the astronomy tower, Hermione." He said through gasps of air. The old wizard couldn't hold it in any longer and collapsed into the chair that was behind him.
"What? Did someone push him?" She looked frantically back to Harry and started rubbing his hand. "He was pushed, wasn't he?"
There's nobody here who would do that! That only means that someone from outside the castle did it ... or ... Her strength left her and she slumped beside the bed.
"Don't tell me he jumped! He wouldn't do that! He couldn't do that!" She couldn't think anymore and the tears fell freely.
"HARRY!" Ron and Ginny cried in unison. Ginny collapsed on the spot and just shook her head in shock.
Ron was at the side of the bed and began to weep uncontrollably. "What happened? WHAT?! I'm going to kill whoever did this!"
Hermione glanced at him and felt the gilt build in her chest and she began to weep anew.
Harry ... Harry ... What have I done?