"I'm sorry, but you're all going to have to leave." Madam Pomfrey said quietly. "I need to examine him to see how extensive the damage is."
"I'm not going." Hermione and Ron said in unison.
"You'll have to." The nurse said compassionately. "As soon as I'm finished I'll let you in, but it will only be one at a time."
"Why isn't he breathing?" Hermione asked quietly. She had found the strength to stand but the flow of her tears could not be stemmed.
"He's alive, but barely." The nurse said quietly. "His body is trying to cope with what's happened, by all accounts, he shouldn't ..."
Hermione shook her head. "He can't be dead ..." She choked over a sob. "He shouldn't be ..." She covered her face and ran from the room.
Harry, I'm so sorry! It's my fault!
"Hermione!" Ginny called after her. She didn't stop running. Hermione kept going in random directions and ultimately found herself in a familiar seventh floor hallway. When she realized where she was she almost ran up and down the hall. The door appeared and she opened it to a scene she wasn't expecting.
The table was lying upside down and anything made of glass that had been on the table during their dinner was shattered on the floor. Food was sticking to the far wall and everything else was a shambles. It was like Harry's room in second year when Ginny had ransacked it in the search for Tom Riddle's diary.
Ginny caught up with her finally and gasped when she saw the state of the room. "Hermione?"
"We had a great dinner ..." Hermione said in a detached voice. She felt Ginny put a hand on her shoulder. "We had a good time ... But then he kissed me ..." She wiped at her tears furiously and fought to control her shaking hands. "It's all my fault ..."
"Hermione!" Ginny pulled her around to face her. "Don't you dare say that!"
She shook her head. "It may as well have been me that pushed him off the tower ..." The guilt pushed to the forefront of her mind and she couldn't bear it any longer. Hermione tried to pass Ginny, but the young girl pulled her into a tight hug.
"Hermione, it's not your fault!" She said quietly but forcefully. "Harry didn't do this because of you ..."
Hermione pushed her away angrily. "HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU DIDN'T SEE THE WAY HE LOOKED AT ME AFTER I TOLD HIM NO!" Her voice echoed through the deserted halls as her anger shot out of control like a raging volcano. Hermione shoved Ginny out of the way and ran from the room.
Why her feet took her where they did, she didn't know. The only thing on Hermione's mind was that she needed to be with him, to be close to him as much as possible but she was barred from the hospital wing and she went to the only place she could think of.
Hermione climbed into his bed and buried her face in his pillow. She felt the soft, down-filled pillow grow wet with her tears but she didn't care. His scent was still there and she tried her best to inhale every ounce of it. The hours seemed to slip by as she remembered all the smiles they shared, the way his eyes would glitter when he laughed, the feel of his arms around her when she was in his arms.
Why didn't I see it earlier? Why? Everyone saw it ... Skeeter, Mrs. Weasley ... She pulled the pillow into a tight, desperate hug, wishing that it was him and not the soft, unfeeling thing that smelled of him. Harry, why was I so blind?
She was interrupted by the quiet sobs of Ron as he walked into the room. She lay still hoping that he wouldn't see or hear her but a new wave of sadness revealed her presence.
Ron whipped his wand around and pointed it into the darkness. "Who's there?!" Hermione winced at the ferocity in his voice. She remained still but couldn't stop from trembling.
"It's me." She said weakly, not moving from the spot she'd been in for the past several hours.
"Hermione?" He relaxed immediately and walked to Harry's bed. "We've been looking for you ... I was worried that whoever did this to Harry might still be around."
It seemed impossible but Hermione's heart fell even lower than where it was. She wanted to run, to hide, but she didn't want to leave the spot where she could be near him without being in the hospital wing.
"Hey ..." Ron said quietly as he sat on his friend's bed. He reached out to rub her back but Hermione flinched and pulled away. "Hermione ... we need to find who did this ..." His face fell and she could see the tears falling down his cheeks.
"I want to be alone." She said adamantly.
"Hermione, we need to help each other so that we can help Harry ..." Ron's voice cracked but Hermione found she didn't really care.
"Leave.Me.Alone.With.Harry." She said slowly. Ron reached out to her and she pulled away even further.
"Hermione, Harry's in the hospital wing ..." He said with confusion. "I'm your boyfriend, Hermione, don't shut me out ... I need you."
She looked at him furiously. "You need me?" She growled at him. "Harry needed me and look what happened!" She got out of the bed and went to Harry's trunk where she started to fish through his belongings.
"Hermione? What are you doing?" Ron asked bewildered.
"Harry's going to need his things." She said in a growl. "Here's his broom." She said quietly and set it gently on the bed as if it were made of the most fragile glass. She went back to her task and pulled out several articles of clothing and a few pictures. She found a shattered mirror at the bottom of the trunk and looked at it curiously. She picked it up and looked at the note attached to the back and her heart broke for what seemed to be the hundredth time that night.
"Oh, Harry ..." She said sadly. She carefully laid it with the other things and retrieved the pieces that had fallen from the frame.
"Hermione, he's in a coma ..." Ron said evenly. He got to his feet and walked over to his girlfriend. She didn't stop what she was doing and he pulled her to a standing position before he wrapped his arms around her. "Hermione, stop!"
She stood in shock for a moment before her shoulders began to shake. "Ron, forgive me ..." She said quietly with her head bowed.
"Why? What have you done?" He said in confusion. He held her at arm's length and tried to catch her eye. "It's not as if you pushed him from the astronomy tower ... So you have nothing to forgive me for."
At his words, Hermione began to cry harder and before Ron knew what was happening she'd grabbed the pile of things she'd set on the bed and ran from the room.
"Hermione!" Ron called after her. She heard his footsteps but she didn't stop. She ran blindly back to the hospital wing to find the curtains drawn around Harry's bed.
"It's ok." Madam Pomfrey said reassuringly. "You can visit him now." Hermione looked at the nurse and the woman nodded quietly. "He's still unconscious but it's a miracle that his physical trauma will heal fully ... Now we have to wait for his mind to follow suit."
"What's wrong with his mind?" Hermione asked with a shaky voice.
"At this point, if it were an accident, he could have very well regained consciousness. But he doesn't seem to be fighting to remain alive." Madam Pomfrey explained quietly. "It's almost as if he's given up."
Hermione felt more tears streak down her face and she looked at the closed curtains.
"I'm sure if his friends talk to him he'll find the strength to come back to us." Dumbledore said quietly behind her.
Hermione turned to her headmaster and looked at him with sad eyes. "What if he doesn't want to ..." She turned from the old wizard's penetrating gaze. "What if he doesn't want to hear me?" She hiccupped and found it hard to breathe.
"I'm sure that whatever his reasons were," The old man explained quietly, "whatever they were, he wants to know that there are people here that love him and want to see him back with us ..."
What if he hates me?
Dumbledore rested a hand comfortingly on her shoulder and she jumped at the contact. "I'm sure that he would like to hear from you, Hermione. I think we both know that ..."
Hermione nodded slowly and turned to his bed. With slow, shaky steps, she inched closer and closer to the last and first place she wanted to be. She moved the curtains aside and stepped into the makeshift room. Without a word, Hermione set the photos she'd retrieved of the three of them on the bedside table and placed his cherished Firebolt under his arm. She found his shattered glasses and repaired them with a wave of her wand.
"Harry, I'm sorry ..." She said quietly. She looked at him fully for the first time since she'd found him in the bed and let out an anguished sob. He was still bruised from where he hit the ground and his face was purple and swollen. The potions that could remove these blemishes couldn't be administered while he was unconscious for fear of them drowning him, though the potion drip that was attached to his arm would keep him nourished and replenish the blood he'd lost.
Hermione moved to the opposite side of the bed and took his hand again. It didn't feel ice cold but not as warm as she had remembered it from their time in the room of requirement. She stifled a sob and began to rub it slowly.
"I'm so sorry, Harry ... I didn't think ... I-I didn't know ..." Her shoulders began to shake and she cried silently. Without another word, she climbed into the bed and pulled him into a gentle hug. She laid next to him for an untold amount of time, crying into his shoulder and holding on to him desperately. "Don't give up, Harry, don't leave me ... I love you, Harry ... Don't leave me ..."
She whispered in his ear about how much she enjoyed spending time with him, how he could make her laugh, and how much she loved to see him smile. She gingerly cupped his face with her hand and kissed him gently from time to time before she would try to smooth his hair.
"Miss Granger ..." Madam Pomfrey said quietly before she opened the curtain. The nurse held back a sob at the sight of Hermione whispering quietly in Harry's ear, every once in a while choking out a soft laugh at a private joke they had shared. "Miss Granger ..."
Hermione didn't hear her name being called, the only thing she could focus on was the young man lying in front of her. She stroked his cheek lovingly and readjusted the blanket so that he could be warmer. She felt his weak, ragged breaths against her lips as she gave him a quick peck. She jumped when she felt Madam Pomfrey's hand on her shoulder.
"Hermione, you need to get something to eat and some sleep." She said quietly.
"I'm fine." Hermione said absently.
"You need to keep your strength up and I need to change his bandages."
"I'm not going to leave him again." Hermione said quietly as she blinked away a new set of tears. "He shouldn't be alone on Christmas."
"I'll be with him." The nurse said reassuringly. "After you get something to eat and some sleep, you can come back."
Hermione shook her head. "I'm not hungry." She said adamantly, ignoring the protest of her stomach. She didn't take her eyes off of Harry during the conversation and brought him back into a gentle hug. "He needs me."
"He does need you." The nurse said quietly. "Harry wouldn't want you to get ill because you're neglecting yourself."
Hermione sighed. She's right, isn't she ... "Can I just sleep here? I'll get something to eat, but can I stay?" She took one last look into his sleeping face and with pleading eyes met the gaze of Madam Pomfrey.
The nurse sighed quietly. "You can stay in the hospital wing, but not the same bed. You will get some sleep or I will be forced to remove you ..."
Hermione nodded slowly. "I'll be right back." She slid out of the bed gently and brushed Harry's bangs from his forehead before planting a kiss on his scar. "I'll be right back, Harry." She whispered quietly. Hermione tightened her dressing gown and left the room without another word. She made her way to the Great Hall to find it quiet but not quite empty. With a sigh, she walked over to Ginny and sat down.
"I'm sorry, Ginny. I didn't mean to take it out on you ..." Hermione said softly. She looked at the food-laden platters in front of her and her stomach seemed to take over her mind. With an almost mechanical motion, she started to fill her plate with scrambled eggs and before she knew what was happening, Ginny put a hand on her arm.
"Hermione, you don't have to fill a plate for Harry." She said gently.
Hermione looked at the place setting next to her and began to cry again. Ginny pulled her into a comforting hug wordlessly.
"I miss him, Ginny ..." Hermione sobbed. "I know that I just realized how much I love him, but I miss him so much ..."
Ginny stroked Hermione's hair gently and made no attempt to hide her own grief. "I know, Hermione, I miss him too ... He'll come out of it ..." The two girls held each other quietly for a few moments before Ginny pulled back and wiped her tears. "Now get some food in you, we've got to keep our strength up."
Hermione nodded quietly and gave her friend a grateful smile. "I'm going to move into the hospital wing for a while." She admitted quietly.
Ginny nodded and went back to eating.
Hermione turned to her plate. "I told him ..." She said quietly and a soft smile spread across her lips.
"Told him?" Ginny asked curiously.
Hermione's smile faded and her lower lip trembled. "I told him I lo ... I love him." She said choking back a sob.
Ginny pulled her into another hug just as Hermione's shoulders began to shake with grief. "Shh, I'm sure he heard you ..." She cooed quietly to her friend. "He's hearing everything we say ..."
"I hope so ..." Hermione said after a hiccup. She wiped her face with her napkin and let out a deep, trembling sigh. She couldn't ignore her rumbling stomach and reluctantly began to eat. Hermione discovered that she was hungrier than she thought and after a fourth helping pushed her plate away from her.
"I'm going back to Harry." She said quietly. "Could ... Could you bring me a set of clean underwear and pajamas?"
Ginny smiled at her reassuringly. "Sure. Want me to bring some of your books too? You could always read to him ... Maybe a little sleep learning will help pull his grades up?"
Hermione sputtered out a laugh and started to cry again. She couldn't find her voice and just nodded quietly as she pulled Ginny into a tight hug. "Thank you." She got out finally and left the Great Hall.
Within minutes, Hermione was beside Harry again, this time, she had Quidditch Through the Ages propped open in front of her and she was reading aloud. She'd finished the book and reached for another when Madam Pomfrey pulled the curtains back.
"Time for bed." She said quietly but gave Hermione a stern look. "I don't want any fuss out of you ..."
Hermione sighed and replaced the book on the bedside table. After climbing gently from the bed, she looked at the comatose form of Harry Potter and whispered quietly in his ear. "Good night, Harry. I'll see you in the morning. Please don't give up ..." She kissed him gently on the lips and ran her fingers through his hair. With a sigh of resignation she went to the next bed and climbed under the covers. She lay awake for a countless amount of time before her eyes fluttered closed for the last time and she fell fast asleep.
For the next week, Hermione had been allowed to stay in the hospital wing and spend as much time as she wanted with Harry. They'd made an exception in the visiting rules and allowed her to be present whenever anyone came by, seeing as she refused to leave except to bathe, eat, or change her clothes. Ron had been by quite often at first but after the first few days, his visits tapered off as he got ready for the coming days ahead.
"Hermione, you're going to have to go back to your room tonight." Dumbledore said quietly from the end of the bed. "Term starts tomorrow."
"But I can't leave him, Professor." She said quietly. Hermione had reluctantly left his side to speak with the headmaster but her eyes never left his prone form. "He needs to know that I'm there for him, that I'll always be there for him ..." That she couldn't fathom leaving him alone was an understatement and those who knew where she was knew this fact quite well.
"I know it's hard, Hermione." He said gently. "But you can't spend the rest of the term in the hospital wing." Hermione tried to protest but he held up a hand. "We will be moving him to a spare room in Gryffindor tower and you can spend non-class time there. Do not forget that you are also a prefect and you have duties to perform."
Tears welled in her eyes but she nodded quietly. "Can I stay in the room with him, Professor?" She knew she was getting her hopes up but had to ask despite what the answer would be.
Dumbledore smiled at her reassuringly. "I had a feeling you'd ask that question and as luck would have it, the spare room is actually a suite. You will not spend the night in his room." He said sternly. "Your curfew is midnight."
She looked at her professor with wide eyes. "I won't be far from him?" She asked and she looked back to Harry with a slight smile before returning her gaze to the smiling Dumbledore.
"No, you won't." He grinned. "It's admirable that you care so deeply for him, Hermione, and I know that you're doing some good for Harry. We've already moved your things as well as Harry's."
Hermione nodded and made to return to Harry's side but was held back by a gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at her headmaster and saw the great deal of compassion in his eyes.
"Please remember that there are a number of people who love him, Hermione." He said gently. "Though not in the same way that you do. It's nobody's fault that he ended up in this condition, please remember that."
Her eyes went wide and she felt the guilt she'd buried rise in her throat again as her eyes began to water.
"He'll come back to us." He said gently and with a comforting smile he turned and left the room.
Hermione stood in shock for a few moments wondering how he knew but her attention was drawn back to her friend and was soon lying beside him once more. She picked out another book and after clearing her throat smiled at the young man beside her.
"Now where were we? Ah ... The Goblin Rebellions of 1263, began when the outcast Bracktooth called for equality amongst all magical beings ..."