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Heartbroken by Excalibur
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Heartbroken

Excalibur
CHAPTER SIX
Finding the Courage to Return

Harry looked around the empty landscape of the wide plain that he'd found himself on. He brushed off his robes and looked to the pale, blue sky and wondered just what he'd gotten himself into.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" A woman said from beside him.

Harry jumped at the sudden break in silence and looked at the woman who was standing next to him. She held herself regally, a look of amazement and wonder on her face as if she had just discovered something new that had never been seen before. Her steel gray eyes scanned the heavens with warmth that bespoke of a long love that was just at the tip of her fingers. Her long, black hair was wrapped in a fine mesh of silver netting that had small images of ravens at various interconnected links.

"Rowena Ravenclaw?" Harry whispered with wide eyes.

"Well, we can see that your mind is sharp, Harry Potter." She said with a lilting laugh.

"Where's Merlin?"

"You'll work your way up to him, child, for now you will be learning the magic you'll need in your fight." She finally turned to him and Harry felt an immediate sense of calm wash over him. "Stress is a distraction that keeps you from learning properly, this is why I've chosen such a serene estate for your first lessons." She continued. "Stress also brings out the best in people and can help push them to new heights."

Harry nodded quietly and found that he could not break her eye contact.

"We will be training your mind, Harry Potter, every inch of it will be brimming with the qualities that I look for in my pupils when we've finished. Do you have any questions?"

Harry thought for a moment then looked back to the enchantress' piercing stare. "Where are the books?" He asked simply.

Rowena's eyes reflected the smile that did not immediately cross her face. "Books?"

"Well, if I'm to learn these spells, where are the books I'll need to read from?" Harry asked more confidently.

The smile came at the more elaborate form of his question and she laughed appreciatively. "We will not be using books." She said with finality. "From what I've seen of your progress thus far, you would quickly tire of the reading and note taking. Aside from the fact that the physical world has no hold over us here, books thus become pointless."

Harry nodded with understanding. "If we're not going to study the formulas of spells and since the physical world isn't bound to us, how will I work the spells without my wand?"

With an appreciative nod she explained. "Before we, as a wizarding race, discovered our ability to manipulate the force that we came to know as magic, there was no need for wands. In those times, our magic was wild, untamed, and had to be brutally mastered in order for us to control it." She smiled at Harry's nod. "Every witch and wizard has the ability to control the energy that defines the effects we call charms, hexes, jinxes, or more generically, spells. It takes an ordered mind to grasp the raw components of each spell to achieve the ordered effects that are requested of this energy.

"Wands were created to allow everyone with the gift to become practitioners. Do you know why this is?"

Harry looked to the flowers at his feet then after a few moments back to his newest professor. "I reckon it has something to do with the magical creature at the core of the wand." Rowena nodded for him to continue. "Since they are born with the natural ability to use magic, a piece of them helps us to use it as well."

"You are almost correct." She said with a smile. "It's not the ability to use magic ..."

"But the ability to control it." He said after a nod.

"Very good."

"You mentioned that spells are made of components?" Harry asked inquisitively.

"It's good that you remember the small details and your curiosity is a benefit to learning." She smiled proudly at her pupil. "Yes, every spell is made of components, seeds if you will. These seeds define certain aspects that allows the desired result to be created from the flow of magical energy."

"You mean things like the wand motions, incantations, and things like that?"

"Indeed. But oh so very much more." She explained. "Each seed brings about a specific effect in and of itself but the final effect cannot be realized without the use of two or more seeds. For instance, can you describe the flame charm incendio?"

"It allows us to create fire wherever we point our wand." Harry said slowly.

"Can you break it down into its component seeds?"

"Hmm, fire is one of them." He said thoughtfully. "I guess there would have to be some sort of targeting portion so the flame knows where to go and then there'd have to be a transport seed to put the flame there."

"Almost, but very close. You don't need the wand to perform it because you are actually using it to channel the magical energy." She smiled as she continued. "Those seeds you mentioned are a part of the spell yes, however, there is the incantation 'INCENDIO' which helps give it form."

"Do we actually have to say the incantation? Or can we just think it?"

"Very astute observation. Why don't you try it on this log?" She waved her hand and instantly a log was before them. "You do not have use of your wand so think of yourself as the conduit of control."

Harry looked at the log and concentrated as hard as he could.

"Think about the end effect and how the seeds should fit together." He was instructed.

Going deeper into his mind's eye, Harry imagined a flame, wings, a compass and the word incendio all fit together in a neat package like an atom or molecule with all of its component parts fitting together to create a new object. To his delight, the log caught fire but the sudden elation caused the flames to erupt into a devastatingly high pillar within seconds. Harry backed away from the inferno and fell to the ground with a thud.

Rowena waved her hand and the flames disappeared. With a laugh she extended a hand to help the startled youth back to his feet. "A valiant first try!" She said with a glittering smile. "I assume you've gathered what went wrong?"

Harry took the offered hand and pulled himself to his feet. "I got a bit excited that I actually did it." He said with a sheepish grin. "I guess emotions have a big hand in the power of the end effect?"

With a nod and a smile Rowena motioned to another log. "You've got the idea. Now let's try again, this time, focus on how much power you want in the spell and try to control your emotions."

Harry nodded and within a few moments he was able to produce a roaring fire that would normally be seen in the Gryffindor common room. A thought occurred to him when the flame began to falter at his decrease in concentration and he added a seed of permanency to the mix. With his concentration released from the task at hand he smiled at his mentor who was grinning brightly.

"Found that you needed to make it more permanent if you didn't want to concentrate all day." She placed a hand on his shoulder and let out another lilting laugh. "You are a fast learner."

Harry blushed and looked back at the fire he'd created. With a thought the flames and log vanished, leaving the meadow and surrounding flowers unscathed and as vivid as he had once seen them.

"A very fast learner." She said with a clap to his back. "But this is just the beginning. By the time your next instructor arrives, you'll be able to create or disband any effect that you know the seed combination to."

Harry looked to Rowena with a surprised look. "Even the unforgivables?" He asked excitedly.

The smile faded from the woman's face and she slowly shook her head. "Unfortunately, you cannot reverse the effects of the killing curse." She said sadly. "I would have used that countless times to bring back the friends and family I'd lost."

Harry nodded. "I had to ask." He said quietly.

"Asking is always good. Never be afraid to ask a question, no matter how unimportant you think it is or how you may view the world after you ask it." She sat in the grass and motioned for Harry to sit across from her. "Questions are our way of discovering truth and without them we would still be looking at two pieces of stone in a cave somewhere wondering why we can't be warm at night."

Harry nodded in understanding.

"Now, to be able to control these magical energies we need to train our mind. We will be doing so until you are ready to continue to the next instructor."

For several days, Harry and Rowena sat in the same place practicing different modes of meditation, concentration, and the various seeds that create the various effects he'd learned through his first four years in Hogwarts. They had finished with his memorization of nearly every seed when Rowena sighed.

"What is it?" Harry asked as he looked at her with concern written across his face.

"Now we've come to the most important part." She said with conviction. "Now we talk about the emotive seed. Do you understand the ramifications that this one, seemingly simple component contains?"

Harry closed his eyes and though back to the experiments they'd been conducting. Each time he'd increased the power of the spell by adding a bit of his emotion to the mix, hate, anger, sadness, fear, happiness, elation ... love. He looked up with a startling thought. "Dark arts, light arts, they're controlled by the emotions we use as seeds!"

"Again, you never cease to amaze me with your deductive reasoning. It seems your friend Hermione Granger will have some competition when you return."

Harry's eyes clouded over at the mention of Hermione's name and he swore he could hear her voice in his head.

"Is everything ok?"

"Yes ..." Harry said absently. Did I hear her say love? He shook his head again. "I was just thinking about someone and I could have sworn I heard their voice ..."

"The living do talk to us, Harry." His wise mentor smiled at him. "It seems that Hermione hasn't given up on you yet."

Harry said nothing and when he saw the piercing gaze of his teacher simply nodded.

"You have completed what I have to teach you, Harry." Rowena Ravenclaw said with satisfaction as she got to her feet. Harry followed her lead and stood before the legendary enchantress. "You are ready to move onto the next stage of your training, this will help you get there." She produced a medallion that held the crest of Ravenclaw. Harry took it gingerly and examined it with a critical eye. He looked up to find that his mentor was gone and along with her, the field they were sitting in.

Surrounding him on all sides was wasteland. Lava rock, sand, dead wood, dry riverbeds, and large skeletons littered the landscape. He heard a distinctive sound that made his flesh crawl but he did not move. He listened carefully and scoured the shadows for the creature that was calling his name.

"Very alert. But not alert enough." Came a voice directly behind him. Harry jumped forward and spun on his potential assailant. "Also very jumpy it seems." The man standing before him laughed in a cold, hollow way.

Harry immediately recognized the man before him and his eyes went to narrow slits. "Salazar Slytherin." He said coldly.

"So you remember my visage from the Chamber do you?" He laughed again. "Tell me, Potter, why didn't you choose to stay with my house when the sorting hat so wisely wished to place you there?"

Harry looked the man over and stood straight. "I did not want to be associated with prejudice and evil." He said flatly.

"Good reasons." Salazar said with mock appreciativeness. "But why old git Gryffindor's?"

"I had friends there." Harry replied simply.

"Loyal to your friends up to the end it seems." Slytherin laughed again. "Well, not quite loyal as the current situation has pointed out."

Harry could feel the anger building within him and he couldn't contain it. "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY?!" He spat angrily.

Harry was knocked to the ground as Salazar Slytherin seemed to suddenly materialize right in his face. "I know that throwing away your life is not a trait that I would have chosen in a pupil of mine!" He said venomously. "Even I had friends, Potter, and I was loyal to them until they betrayed me. You were not betrayed by those closest to you!"

"What do you know of it?" Harry growled as he got back to his feet. "And is this all you're going to do? Taunt me?"

Salazar grinned evilly at the child before him. "I am here to train you, Potter." He grimaced at the thought of having to follow orders. "I'm going to train you to control your emotions so they do not become unstable at the most crucial moment during a battle."

Harry narrowed his eyes at the man in front of him. "And what would you know about controlling emotion?" He spat in return. "From what I've read, you blew up and created that blasted Chamber to wipe out those with impure blood."

"There was a difference of opinion, yes." He said with a smile. "But under no circumstances did I 'blow up.'" He began to pace in front of Harry. "I don't expect you to understand, being a Gryffindor and following your heart with abandon. But the Chamber was always there, just waiting for the right person to reveal it."

Harry watched as his house's nemesis continued to walk back and forth in front of him.

"No, I didn't blow up, I bided my time, I held my emotions inside until I knew the time was right to reveal them and when I did, the heavens shook." He said with a glow in his eyes. "Gryffindor and those other idiots needed to combine their forces to stop me. But if they hadn't, the power would have been mine!"

Harry rolled his eyes at the common speech that he'd heard over and over from Voldemort or one of his followers.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me, whelp!" Slytherin was suddenly so close that Harry could feel their noses touching.

"Why not? I've heard that speech countless times from your own heir, yet I've been able to stop him in his tracks each time." Harry shrugged. "And this is someone who frightens most wizards that they can't even say his name, but yours is thrown around with abandon."

The rage in the original head of Slytherin house could be seen plainly as his limbs shook and his eyes ignited in reddish flame. "How.Dare.You!" He growled. "How dare you compare me to that worthless half-blood?!"

"Worthless? He seems to be more effective than even you were." Harry grinned at him. "What have you done to make people fear you? Your house is full of tainted blood, hags, trolls, ferrets." He chuckled at his description of Malfoy. "It's a laughing stock."

Harry thought he had seen fury when Dumbledore fought Riddle and he was mistaken. He shrank back at the visage of Salazar Slytherin in his full, hell-bent glory and something clicked in his mind.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself.

Harry thought for a moment on those famous words and looked at the raging man in front of him. Why isn't he attacking me? He thought curiously. Realization hit him and he calmed immediately.

The look on Harry's serene face caused the tirade of Slytherin to subside and the man looked at the young wizard quizzically.

"To answer your question, I know you can do me no harm here." Harry said evenly. "I'm dead, I've seen hell, what worse can you do to me when I've had a glimpse of eternal torment?"

Salazar looked at him pointedly and studied the young man with a scrutinizing eye. "Indeed." He said finally. "It seems you have fear under control, but what about your anger?"

Harry glared at him but didn't answer.

"Oh, I know how much you love that mudblood." Salazar said with a malicious grin when he saw Harry tense up. "And I know that you threw away your life because you couldn't have your way with the mudblood who..."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence." Harry growled through clenched teeth.

"Or what? You'll hurt me? You'll kill me? Come off that high horse of yours, Potter! We both know that you threw a tantrum because some mudblood didn't love you." Slytherin finished with a wide grin.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to control the anger and depression that started bubbling to the surface. "She loves me, as a friend, yes, but she does." Harry said finally. "I may love her differently, but I know that she is there for me."

"If you knew that, why did you throw it all away?" Harry looked up to find he was in a different place. He was in Hogwarts and the woman in front of him was not Salazar Slytherin.

Harry looked around in surprise. "Where's Slytherin?"

The woman smiled genuinely and clapped a hand on Harry's shoulder. "You've passed his trials and are now ready to explore the meaning of loyalty, Harry."

Harry nodded quietly as he now recognized the woman in front of him as Helga Hufflepuff. Within a few moments, he found himself at the portrait of the fat lady and he looked quizzically at his new guide.

"You're wondering why we're here?" She smiled at him warmly and opened the portrait without the use of a password. "You'll soon find out."

She climbed through the portrait hole and Harry followed behind her. He looked around at what he thought was the empty common room but stopped on the sleeping form of Ginny.

"Ginny? How ... Are we back at the castle?" He asked with surprise.

Helga smiled and nodded quietly. "We're going to visit someone." She said with a wave of her hand, motioning Harry to the stairs of the boy's dormitory.

Harry started up the stairs and before he knew it, he had arrived to his room on autopilot.

"Go on in." He heard from behind him. He obeyed without question and stopped in his tracks when he saw that his things were gone and spun to the murmuring coming from Ron's bed.

"Come back, Harry." He was whispering to a picture of the three of them. "Hermione needs you, mate."

Harry grimaced at her name and reached out to his friend when he saw the tear stains on his face. His hand passed through Ron's shoulder and Ron looked up quickly.

He looked around the room and, seeing nothing, went back to talking to the photo in front of him. "I miss you, Harry. I'm sorry we didn't tell you about us ..."

Harry had enough and stepped out of the room.

"That's a loyal friend you have there." Helga said as she started up another staircase. Harry looked at her incredulously.

"Sneaking around behind my back is loyal?" He asked quietly.

"People make mistakes, Harry, after all, they're only human." Helga stopped at the last door and turned to let Harry pass through.

Harry took the cue and stepped into the suite that was behind the door. He looked around and noted all the books and pieces of parchment scattered everywhere.

"If I weren't in the boy's dormitory, I'd swear that this is her room." Harry commented quietly. He noticed two doors, one on each side of this smaller common room and walked to the one that was open.

Madam Pomfrey bustled out and made her way down the stairs that would take her out of the Gryffindor tower. Harry looked in the room and nearly fell at the sight.

His body was laying comfortably on a large bed, there were massive bruises all over his face but the color had returned to his skin and he seemed to be breathing much more rhythmically and stably. That wasn't the surprise that caught him off guard. Hermione was lying next to him stroking his hair as she read from a book. One glance told him that it was her Arithmancy book but he was speechless at what she was doing.

"You see, the numbers that correspond with the movement of the planets ..." She looked at the unconscious form of himself in front of her and tears traced new paths from her eyes to her chin. "Harry, please come back to us ..." Harry did fall when she leaned over and kissed him on the lips. "I miss you, Harry, please come back." She lay the book aside and pulled him into a hug before she fell asleep with her head on his chest.