Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling created Harry Potter and Co.
Authors Note: The parts in italics are what Ron is saying in his head in response to whatever is happening to him.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling created Harry Potter and Co.
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In your head...
In your head...
Zombie zombie zombie ei ei
What's in your head...
In your head...
Zombie, zombie, zombie
ei, ei, ei , oh.....do,do,do…
The Cranberries, "Zombie"
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Ron Weasley was engaged in the battle of his life. Not physically of course, but mentally. He had been fighting with the voices inside his head for nearly 15 minutes now, although to him it seemed like 15 hours. After being ordered to quickly shower and change into suitable clothes for Harry's birthday party, Ron emerged from his bedroom dressed in a simple yet tasteful pair of khaki pants and a silk black collared shirt. The shirt, a birthday gift from Ginny a few years ago, was the exact pigment of Harry's unruly jet-black hair, which was the precise reason he rarely wore it, save for the few occasions he knew he would be meeting his dear sister.
"Excellent, my little zombie" Bellatrix said approvingly as Ron entered living room of his flat, trailed closely from behind by a surly looking Antonin Dolohov.
'Excellent my ass you conniving bitch' Ron retorted in vain inside his head.
"Everything prepared, My Lady?" Dolohov questioned Bellatrix as she raised herself off Ron's navy blue couch and approached the pair.
"I have performed several charms and jinxes around the complex, but will not be satisfied until Rookwood arrives." She replied dully, fingering her yew wand. "He is far more advanced in protection and concealment spells, and will make certain that the area is secure while we are here."
"And when is he expected to arrive?"
"Why, as soon as our dear Mr. Weasley departs to meet Potter" she answered sweetly turning to Ron and pinching his cheek as if he were the most adorable thing on earth.
'Oi! Hands off!' he shouted in disgust.
But Ron's body did not acknowledge Bellatrix's icy touch. He simply continued to stare vaguely into the wall across from him, as if it were the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen.
"Well, I'm afraid you are running a bit behind schedule Weasel, so I'll make this quick" she said scathingly with a nod to Dolohov, who promptly turned and summoned two chairs from the kitchen.
"Sit" Bellatrix ordered Ron, to which complied with out as much as a blink as she moved the other chair directly across from him so that their knees met.
With a most Dumbledore-like twinkle appearing from the depths of her dark eyes, she began firing off commands at Ron, who would monotonously reply "Yes, My Lady" to each.
"Do you understand everything I have told you?" she asked him carefully minutes later after she was finished.
'Oh yeah. I understood perfectly. Too bad I won't be doing any of it!'
But it was the standard "Yes, My Lady" that escaped Ron's lips.
"And you will obey every command I have told you tonight?"
'No, my disgusting-brainless-nauseatingly-ugly-pathetic-excuse-for-a-being-'
"Yes, My Lady"
An unnatural grin crept upon Bellatrix's gaunt face.
"Then you may leave to pick up Potter" she drawled, the grin still visible.
Blinking in acknowledgement he steadily rose from his chair and took the few strides to exit his home for he could not apparate with all the new charms that had been placed upon his flat. Once out the front door he quickly disappeared with a shrill crack.
Bellatrix turned to Dolohov and snickered "The plan is in motion."
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"Hermione dear!" Molly Weasley greeted the brown eyed witch as she stepped through the threshold of The Burrow. "You look absolutely stunning!" she commented while quickly sweeping her into one of her trademark embraces. As Molly and Hermione broke away, the latter was quickly accosted by two identical looking lanky gentlemen with flaming red hair. The rascals then separated from each other, snuck around to Hermione, seized her by either arm, and escorted her to the backyard.
"Ahoy there lass! It's about time ye joined us!" Fred in a very convincing buccaneer type voice, for the founders of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes were decked out head-to-toe in pirate accessories, including eye patches, pirate hooks, and even a very realistic looking parrot.
"Back off ye scoundrels." Hermione said eyeing their costumes and playing along.
"Us! Scoundrels?" George retorted in mock outrage. "How dare ye speak of us in that manner! We are but innocent, harmless scavengers searching the seven seas for our lost booty."
"Booty?" Hermione repeated with a snigger.
"Treasure, ye lily-livered-land lover!" the boys both echoed in unison.
"Gee Hermy; get your mind out of the gutter!" Fred teased breaking character.
"Or at least wait till Harry gets here" George added mischievously.
"Oh, bugger off you two!" she snapped back jestingly while plucking Fred and George's eye patches and releasing them a few inches from their face.
"Ouch! Hermione!" the pair cried in pain as the patches snapped back with force into their eyes.
"Speaking of Harry, I want both of you dressed properly before he arrives" She said smugly. "Oh, and if you ever call me Hermy again, you'll wake up the next morning to find those hooks in your arse." She added with a devilish grin.
"Eye-eye, Captian!" they responded and quickly tipped their feathered hats in salute.
"May I inquire as to why you gentlemen are dressed so-" She paused "festively?"
"Testing out our latest prototypes for the joke shop" Fred replied matter-of-factly.
"Yeah" George interjected "because right now those great prats at Diagon Alley won't let us sell these fine quality commodities."
"What's the problem?" Hermione questioned.
"They tell us the danger rating is too high, on account of some minor explosions from the wooden peg legs."
"Oh really" she asked incredulously, almost afraid to ask her next question. "And the rating would be?"
"Arrrrrrrrrgh!" the brothers roared together while raising their hooks victoriously into the air and charging themselves toward Hermione.
"Don't you dare!" she shrieked at them as she scrambled back into the house.
"Fred! George! You two let Hermione be!" Molly scolded the Twins as they gave chase through the meticulously polished Burrow.
"This is going to be a night to remember" Hermione mumbled to herself as she dashed away from Forge and Gred.
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